The day gets worse when Miles comes over, demanding answers after reading more news about me. He pauses when he sees us sitting with somber looks, my dad still looking like he wants to murder someone.
“What the fuck is goin’on?” He stops and looks at all of us.
“Nothing,” I say quickly, looking at my parents with a subtle head shake.
So much for subtle because Miles doesn’t miss it. “That’s bullshit. Why are they saying you're unstable?” He crosses his arms and glares at me.
“What?” I yell and stand to grab his phone to look at what he’s showing me. I read the contents quickly and tense. Sick. Breakdown. Unavailable. All a ton of lies to make it seem as if I’m not capable of my responsibilities.
The label came out with a statement that I’m not well, which is the cause for not making appearances lately. They’re covering their asses, not mine. Regardless, my heart races as I read the entire article. I have a feeling they won’t be sitting still for a long time.
“That’s bullshit.” I turn to look at my parents. “Obviously, I’m okay.” I hold my arms out and widen my eyes.
“Someone better tell me what the hell is going on. Now. Brett’s on his way as well.” Miles looks between the three of us.
“Great,” I mumble.
I drop into a chair, and my face falls into my hands. As much as I try to hold back tears, they fall like rain.
“Dimples, talk to me.” My brother wraps his arm around me and pulls me into a side hug. I shake against him, wondering when my life got so twisted.
I confess everything. Brett arrives as I’m finishing my story, and my parents update him. I don’t think I can handle saying it all again. I bring my legs up in the seat, hugging my knees. As I stare off at nothing in particular, I hear their voices as white noise in the background.
Something happens when you’ve experienced an assault. It cracks your soul and breaks a piece of yourself. Knowing that the person is still out there makes your life a living hell. I’m constantly afraid. I try to hide it by laughing and smiling.
Only since coming back home have I genuinely laughed. I haven’t been eating, sleeping, or able to keep my nerves calm. Being in Willow Creek, surrounded by my family, spending time with my nieces has made a world of difference. I’ll even take Tate’s coldness to not have to relive what happened and to not live in fear.
“Whatever you need, we’re here for you,” Miles says, kneeling in front of me.
Brett stands beside him, anger in his eyes, but his touch is gentle. “Why else would you have two brothers if not to kick someone’s ass?”
“Thanks.” I crack a smile.
“What do you need?” Brett asks. “We’ll cover security. You won’t be left alone,” he crosses his arms, taking control of the situation like he’s done so many times in our lives.
“Get us a copy of your contract. Dad will send it to his lawyer,” Miles says.
“And always have your phone on you. Let us know where you are,” Brett adds.
I quietly nod because I know this is all for my own good. I just hate that this is what my life has turned to now.
“I think you should consider saying something. Maybe others will speak up, and you can build a case,” Miles looks at me as he speaks.
I shake my head rapidly. “No. I don’t want anyone to hear about this. I know how the industry works, how the world works. It’ll be his word against mine, and they’ll throw the case out. At most, they’ll switch producers, and I won’t have to work with him. That’s not enough. I want out, completely.”
“What are you thinking…” Miles narrows his eyes. “Leaving everything?” His eyebrows lift.
I shrug. “If I go to another label, how will I know this won’t happen again?”
“You can’t give up your dream because of those assholes,” Brett says.
“It’s more of a nightmare now.” I scrub my eyes and sigh. “Can we leave the topic as is for today? I’m emotionally drained.”
“How about we get a few beers, sit out here, and order pizza?” Brett smiles.
“And brownies?” I ask.
“Yeah, Dimples, brownies, too.” Miles nods.
I stand and hug my brothers, so grateful for their support and the family I have. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where I’d be able to go for safety.
Chapter 8
Madison
My family and I finally got some sort of plan figured out in the last few days since I told them all the truth. My dad’s lawyer is combing through my contract to figure out a way for me to leave the label. He’s got experience with the entertainment industry since he’s been my dad’s lawyer since his football days. The biggest struggle is staying patient while we wait to hear from him, but I do feel lighter after confessing to my family what I went through.
I was afraid of opening up to them, saying everything out loud, allowing it to get the best of my emotions, but they were there for me like they have been my entire life.
“Madison, Mr. Davis is here.” My mom peeks her head into my room.
Deep breaths… I follow my mom out to meet my new bodyguard. If it helps me stay safe, I’ll accept having someone shadow me.
“Madison, this is Mr. Davis. And this is my daughter,” my dad introduces us. I shake Mr. Davis’s hand and smile politely.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Carlisle.” He’s dressed in a suit with a serious expression; however, his eyes are gentle as he speaks to me.
I wave him off. “Call me Madison, please.”
“Then call me Paul,” he smiles kindly, and I feel more at ease.
We sit and talk to Mr. Davis. He tells me about his background, his experience, and his promise to keep me safe. I listen intently, asking questions if I have any. Mostly, I’m overwhelmed. I’m so grateful my dad has taken the reins on this because I’m not sure I’m in the right headspace to hire someone for this job.
Paul will start early in the morning and end his job at the last hour of the evening once I’m home. Although I insisted he didn’t have to work while I was at home, he said he would.
According to him, you never know who could be lurking around, and since it won’t surprise me if I run into paparazzi, I accept his offer. The rest is worked out between him and my dad.
“How do you feel?” My mom asks, sitting beside me out on the patio.
I lean my guitar against my legs and shrug. “It feels surreal. As if this isn’t my life but a movie I’m watching. I’ve been holding this in, so while I’ve been dealing with it emotionally, taking action makes it feel more real.”
“Music will help,” she points to my guitar.
“It always did, but I resent it now. Music got me in this mess.” I glare at my guitar, once my safe haven.
“Whatever you want to do, we’ll support you. I’d hate to see you throw away all your hard work because of this, but if what feels right, and especially safe, is stepping away, then do that.”
“Hard work? I’m sure the reason I got signed is because of who Daddy is. Use the family name and keep the Carlisle legacy going in the entertainment biz. I don’t even know how much of my ‘hard work’ actually got me where I am.” I roll my eyes.
“I’ve never known someone work as hard as you have to achieve a dream. So your father was a famous athlete. That doesn’t mean it’s the only reason you got a chance to become a professional singer. Give yourself more credit. It’s breaking my heart knowing what you went through. As a mother, all I’ve ever wanted is to protect you and your brothers from the nastiness of this world. I couldn’t this time. But I will make damn sure you continue to believe in yourself.” My mother’s words ring with fierceness.
I nod in response, unsure I’ll be able to keep it together if I speak. I feel like there’s a ticking clock counting down until my time here is up, and I’ll be dragged back to the place that started it all.
“I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” I announce.
“Are you su
re that’s a good idea?” My mom eyes me with concern.
“I can take Paul. I just need some fresh air.” I know exactly where to go, a place that is private and provides the kind of peace I’ve been seeking.
“Okay,” my mom reluctantly nods.
I put my guitar away and let Paul know that I’m going out. Face hidden behind glasses and hair tucked into a cap, we begin our walk, Paul some feet behind me. I almost forget he’s there.
When I make it to the river, I take the shrouded path, tall trees swallowing me in. This area is barely visited, and I can’t help but wonder if Tate’s been by in the last few years or not. If he’s dating girls like Stephanie Winston, I doubt he’s been around our old spot.
As soon as the path opens a bit and the bridge comes into view, I sigh. It’s exactly as I remembered. The wooden bridge is weathered but sturdy, close to the water. It’s a narrow part of the river, but they added this bridge so people can walk through both sides.
Bending down, I grab a few rocks and sit at the end of the bridge so I can still reach for more rocks when I run out. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I’m not sure where Paul is, and I’m choosing not to check. He could be a foot or ten away from me, but right now, I need to be alone.
Grabbing the first flat rock, I try to skip it, but it just plops into the water instead. So much for that. I try again with the same result. I’ve never been able to skip rocks despite trying hard to learn.
Tate and I used to come here and talk. I’d sing to him, write songs that would never get recorded, and talk about the future. He’d skip rocks while I laid my head on his lap and listened carefully, the sounds of nature creating a beat that would inspire lyrics. That seems like a lifetime ago. In a way, it was.
We were two kids making plans that would never see the light of day. In this spot, everything was perfect—until it wasn’t. So much in my life hasn’t gone as planned. And the things that did go as planned have become tainted.
I try unsuccessfully to skip another rock. When I hear some movement behind me, I turn to see Paul talking to Tate. My body tightens as I look on with wide eyes.
“Paul,” I call out. When he looks at me with a hawk-like gaze, I shiver. “He’s okay…” I nod.
He looks between Tate and me, and after a few seconds, steps away from Tate. I turn and look at the water again, hearing approaching steps.
“Your efforts to teach me how to skip rocks was pointless. I never could learn,” I say, not facing him when I feel him behind me.
“What are you doin’ here, Madison?”
I shrug silently and throw a rock, giving up on the skipping part. I lean to the side to grab a few more from the dirt while Tate sits next to me.
“You remembered this place.” I feel his eyes burning into the side of my face.
I simply shrug again.
“Cat got your tongue?” His voice is tight.
I turn to look at him. “Why would I forget it?”
“Seems like you forgot everything about your old life.” His jaw ticks.
“I didn’t,” I argue. I’ve never forgotten where I come from. I love Willow Creek.
“Really? Rose Carlisle. You hate your middle name.” He lifts a brow, assessing me.
“It fit my brand.” I can’t exactly tell him how they did everything to change me. He wouldn’t get it. He’d just judge me more.
“Brand? What fucking brand?” He runs a hand through his hair, tugging the ends.
“My music. Like it or not, that’s a brand. Rose fit better than Madison.” He’s right, I hate my middle name, and when they first suggested I use it as my artist name, I was reluctant. The label said something about a rose being pure, beautiful, and well-liked. Now, I know better.
“Same brand you’re runnin’ from?”
I am unable to silence the gasp, my eyes widening as I look at him.
“Don’t look like that. It’s no secret you’re missing from your responsibilities. It’s all over the news.”
A small smile tugs at my lips, my heart beating so fast I’m afraid he’ll hear it. “Are you keeping up with pop culture?”
“No.” His response is immediate and dry.
“You are, aren’t you? Tell me, what are they saying? Am I in trouble?” I tease as my smile widens. This is how I was around Tate—carefree, a little mischievous, and always smiling.
He studies me carefully, his face impassive. My heart stops when he speaks. “For the first time in years, you look like the girl I knew.”
I stare at him, smile gone, chest rising and falling. He grabs a rock from my pile, and it skims perfectly over the surface of the water before sinking to the bottom. He’s avoiding. He’s great at that.
Instead of saying anything, I watch the water. Silence sits between us as he continues to skip rocks, and I look at nothing in particular. Being this close to him feels like I’m drowning in a current of memories. He was my everything at one point in time, and I was his: first kiss, first love, first…everything. My dream got in the middle of it, tearing us apart.
“What’s with the bodyguard?” Tate breaks the silence, throwing his thumb over his shoulder in Paul’s direction.
“Nothing,” I shake my head. I must look tense because Tate’s eyes narrow.
“I don’t buy it.”
“Well, it’s not for you to buy,” I shrug.
“You don’t look like you’ve had a breakdown…” He tilts his head as his eyes scan my face.
“Because I didn’t.” Is everyone going to look at me like that now and try to guess what’s going on? Probably, but it’s better than the look of pity if they knew what really happened.
“What’s going on, Maddy?” The air in my lungs feels trapped at the nickname. Everything Tate and I lived through crashing down on me at once. The guilt, the heartache, the regret. The fact that I gave up the only man I ever loved to end up assaulted by a producer, hiding here from the dream that took him away from me. I don’t miss the irony.
I blink back tears and look away. My heart pounds, and my head starts to hurt. I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. In… Out… In… Peace… Out… Fear.
“Something’s not right. What they’re sayin’ about you ain’t real, so what’s the deal?”
I shake my head. “Why do you even care?” I look at him with sadness.
He rubs his stubbled jaw in frustration. “I’m always gonna care about you.”
“You shouldn’t. I don’t deserve it.”
“Maddy,” he growls. “I’ll find out…”
“Don’t,” I plead. I swipe my hands against my jeans to remove the dirt. “Let it be, Tate. It’s better this way.”
He doesn’t need to get mixed up in this mess. His life is better off without me in it. I stand and walk away, nodding to Paul, so he knows I’m ready. Once I’m down the path and no longer within earshot, I lean against a tree and slide down, hiding my face in my knees as my body shakes with cries.
“Madison?” Paul’s deep voice is laced with worry.
I ignore him and let it all out in a shrieking wail. Years of pain from walking away from Tate, the current situation in my life, the reality that when it counts, I don’t have many people I can trust.
My breathing is uneven as waterfalls of tears fall down my face. I’m raw…broken…lost. Coming home is a burden and a blessing. We have a community here that I can turn to, but there’s so much of my past deeply rooted in these streets and in my heart.
“What the…” My breath catches when I hear his voice.
This time I don’t stop Paul from keeping Tate away from me. Gathering the little strength in me, I stand and walk away, ignoring Tate’s calls. It’s just better this way.
Chapter 9
Tate
What the fuck is going on? I stare at where Madison was just sitting and at the empty path ahead of me. I haven’t been Madison’s biggest fan in recent years. Seeing how she changed with fame angered me. I hate to admit that I’d read about h
er, see what was going on in her life. I don’t know why since every time, I’d turn into the world’s biggest dick.
She’s been living this life that doesn’t seem to fit her. Parties with fake celebrities, that blonde hair I can’t get over, dating assholes, singing music that is nothing like the songs she always wanted to write and record.
When I came here today, I was hoping for quiet and the possibility of clearing my head. I’m leaving with my thoughts a bigger mess. Something’s not right with Madison, seeing her break down like that, crying… Fuck, it got to me.
Dumbfounded, I walk back into town. So much for a relaxing day off. I’m going to have to look into what’s the deal with Madison. I know I won’t rest until I figure out what’s going on. It’s the part of me that will always care about her. The part of me that still loves her. Getting over Madison is a harder feat than it seems.
Seeing The Grind, I walk in, needing a break and not wanting to be home alone with my thoughts. Knowing me, I’ll obsess and search the internet high and low for any sign about what’s wrong with her.
As soon as I see her sitting at a table, her hands wrapped around a coffee mug, I stalk toward her. She gasps when I pull out the chair across from her and take a seat. I don’t give a shit about the wide-eyed stares that are clearly surprised by my action. This town saw me heartbroken, and I hated the pity I had to endure for staying behind as Madison made a name for herself.
At one point, I hated this town. I wanted to get away, but I knew that wouldn’t fix anything. Everyone would whisper about my broken heart. They’d be careful not to talk about Madison’s rising fame around me, but someone would always slip and say something. I was the boy she left behind while she chased bigger things.
I stayed, though, accomplishing my own dream even if it didn’t seem as big as hers. Becoming a firefighter is what I’ve always wanted, so it was enough for me to achieve my goal. Unfortunately, the woman I wanted to celebrate each of our milestones with wasn’t by my side.
Homecoming Queen: A Second Chance Romance (Carlisle Cellars Book 2) Page 6
