“You’re thinking mighty hard there, little bird. Care to share them with me?”
One hand on her chin he held her in place while he studied her, and she swallowed nervously when he narrowed his eyes.
“I see we will have to work on these obedience issues you appear to have. Did I fail to make myself clear again?”
“I-I…no Sir, it’s just…”
“Just what, girl? For the record, when I ask you a direct question, I expect an answer right away, not stalling practices so that you can think about how to wiggle out of answering me truthfully.” A grim smile kicked up his lips at her sharp intake of breath. “That’s another swat added to that tally. Sweetheart, I’d start answering me, because I haven’t decided yet who will dish out this punishment, and you might not be able to walk once my chosen dominant is done with you.”
A ball of dread settled in her stomach at the growled words, and, not thinking of the consequences she put her hands on his chest to push him away. Not that he would budge, of course. Instead, his hold on her chin grew painful, and in the next instant he twirled her round until she was face-down on the bonnet of her car. He grasped her wrists and twisted them behind her back while he kicked her legs apart and pinned her to the car with his bodyweight.
His hot breath skittered across her jaw as he leaned down, further immobilizing her, and spoke right next to her ear.
“I should paddle your insolent behind right here and now, but then that’s what you want from me, don’t you?”
Lindsey couldn’t speak, could barely breathe, truth be told, as he transferred her wrists into one of his hands, and grasped her messy bun with the other to turn her head. The heated intensity in his blue eyes further made breathing difficult, while the restraint helped quiet her tumultuous thoughts.
“Answer me, subbie.”
His hold in her hair grew painful and she pulled in a shaky breath when he lifted off her slightly to enable her to do so.
“I…please, I don’t…I’m sorry, Sir.”
Logan released her hair with a muttered curse, but he kept a firm hold on her wrists, keeping her in place for him to run his hand slowly down her back until he reached her butt. He caressed each cheek in turn, and she cried out in pain as he delivered a surprisingly forceful, open-handed swat to each cheek.
As abruptly as he’d grabbed her, he released her.
“Get up, girl and into this car, before I forget myself.”
Some of her confusion must have shown on her face, because he opened the passenger door for her with a sad smile that tore at her heartstrings.
“Trust me, girl, right now it’s a toss-up between bending you back over my car and fucking your brains out, or turning that ass of yours red. As neither is appropriate action for this public carpark, we shall resume this at my house. Now, get in the car, woman.”
Lindsey hastily did as she was told, and once he’d rounded the car and started the ignition, they were soon on their way. A tense silence fell between them as Logan concentrated on the traffic, and once they were out of Central London, Lindsey gave into the instinct to touch him.
“I’m sorry, Sir.”
Logan flicked her a glance before returning his attention to the road.
“You keep saying that, girl. I would far rather you answered the questions I ask you. I’m not an unreasonable man, or Dom, for that matter, but one thing I do insist on is honest communication at all times, and for my sub to obey.” He glanced her way again and smiled. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, however, and her gut churned at the disappointment she read in his eyes. “That’s not too much to ask of you, is it?”
“No, Sir, I’m sor—” She slammed her mouth shut, as his shoulders slumped, and amended her reply. “I was just thinking about Elena, Sir.”
Her heart twisted some more seeing the way his knuckles turned white on the steering wheel.
“I see, and your thoughts were?” he asked in such a low tone, she had to lean in to hear him.
“Well, I was wondering about the relationship you had with her, and what you expect from me. You’ve just answered some of that, but I can’t help but feel that I’ll be a disappointment. I’m not exactly known for my obedience.”
Logan didn’t answer her, just put his foot down as they reached the dual carriageway. When he did answer her, it was a dismissal.
“We shouldn’t have started this discussion while I’m driving. Let’s discuss this at my place.”
With that, he flicked on the sound system, and Celine Dion’s voice filled the car.
* * * *
Coward.
The little voice on his shoulder mocked him, but fuck, he hadn’t expected her to ask after Elena. The mere mention of her made his chest tighten. He didn’t want to discuss his late wife with his fiancée—what a fucked up sentence that was—yet he knew he had to. He couldn’t expect honesty from Lindsey unless he was prepared to be honest himself.
Lindsey hummed along to the sultry tones filling his car, seemingly oblivious to his discomfort, or maybe not. He could see her fidget in her seat, which reminded him he still had her lacy underwear in his pocket. His dick semi hardened again as he replayed the scene in his mind. She had been so delightfully rattled, and to see the very visible evidence of her arousal, to inhale her sweet, feminine musk had been a huge turn-on.
It also soothed the niggles of doubt in his mind. They might not love each other, but a healthy dose of lust would go a long way to get their marriage off to a semi-decent start. Before too long, they approached the area he’d chosen to settle down in after Elena’s passing.
Lindsey stopped her fidgeting when they pulled up outside the three-story Victorian townhouse that he now called his own. To call it home would be stretch. Home had been the house he’d shared with his wife. Firmly pushing all thoughts of what he had lost from his mind, he switched off the ignition and, gesturing to the listed building, forced a smile on his face.
“Voila, casa Festher.”
Lindsey blinked up at the house and frowned.
“You live here? I thought you had a house in Marylebone, and this is…” She looked around as though to orient herself and her frown deepened. “Holland Park, right?”
“It’s closer to my practice, that’s all.”
Logan exited the car, and seeing her follow suit, he led the way up the path to his front door. Having disabled the alarm, he stepped to one side to let Lindsey enter. Her eyes widened as she stepped into the long hallway. Logan tried to see his place through her eyes. He hadn’t redecorated since he moved in, and the walls still held the bicycle scuff marks of the previous owner’s children.
“Go through, kitchen is at the back. I’ll rustle us up some food.”
“You cook?”
He had to smile at the astonishment in her voice, even as the way she traced the crayon marks left by the youngest of the kids who used to run up and down the place caused his chest to tighten.
“I can do simple stuff, but I was thinking along the lines of pizza, if that’s okay with you? I’m sure I’ve got some in the freezer.”
She grinned and nodded.
“I love pizza, so that’s fine with me…Sir.”
Damn, every time she called him that, especially with that little pause in front of his title, it made him hard. To disguise his body’s response, he started walking.
“Living room through there. Bathroom is up those stairs, as is the main bedroom. Three more bedrooms and a shower room at the top.”
She nodded and followed him slowly to the back of the house where the kitchen-slash-diner was located. Logan disappeared into the utility room to rummage in the freezer, and when he reappeared with two frozen pizzas in his hand, it was to find her tracing Elena’s picture on the wall. It had been taken by him, shortly after they’d got married, and showed a laughing Elena in a field of wildflowers. They’d been on their honeymoon in the Provence at the time and had made love in that very spot shortly after he’d snapped that photo.
<
br /> He froze for an instant, and then made himself busy turning on the oven and taking the pizzas out of their wrapping.
“She looked so happy in this picture.”
Logan didn’t answer her, and Lindsey surprised him by stepping up behind him and putting her hands over this.
“Please, Sir, we need to talk about her. I need to talk about her.”
Logan pulled his hands away, taking a deep breath in, and turned around to face her. It was surreal to be standing in his kitchen, looking down on Lindsey with Elena smiling at him from the wall.
“She was happy,” he finally said, and ran an unsteady hand through his hair. “We were happy. I took that picture on our honeymoon. It’s one of my favorite photos of her.”
Lindsey didn’t say anything, just blinked away silent tears that made him feel like a complete heel.
“However, that was then and this is now. What Elena and I had has no bearing on us right now.”
Lindsey didn’t look convinced and her next words confirmed that assessment.
“Because you loved her, and you’re only marrying me out of some misguided sense of duty, right?”
Logan swore under his breath and to buy himself some time, he shoved the pizzas in the oven, then walked over to the fridge and poured them both a glass of wine. Their fingers touched when he handed Lindsey her glass, and a jolt of connection shot up his arm. She must have felt it, too, because her mouth opened and her cheeks heated.
“I did love my wife, this is true.” She blinked away more suspicious moisture from her expressive eyes, and took a long swallow of her wine. “And yes, if you’d asked me even a week ago if I was going to marry again, I’d have called you crazy.”
This time, a tear rolled down Lindsey’s cheek. Putting his wine glass down, he took hers off her again and framed her face in his hands. A shudder went through her when he used his thumbs to swipe the moisture away.
“That doesn’t mean I’m only marrying you out of a sense of duty, though.” He paused to assess her reaction. Her frown spoke volumes, however.
“Then why are you marrying me, really, Sir?”
Logan pulled her closer, rested his forehead on hers, and closed his eyes to inhale her sweet scent. Predictably, his cock took that close proximity to her as an invitation and surged to full mast. She gasped when she noticed, and, opening his eyes and pulling back slightly, he smiled at her.
“Yes, that’s one of the reasons, and the other…I’m sick and tired of waking up on my own, of coming home to an empty house with no one there to share my day with. I know we don’t love each other, but I know you want me, and I want you, so I reckon we’ll rub along well enough.”
Lindsey didn’t answer him, just worried her bottom lip with her teeth until he pulled the soft flesh away from danger with his thumb.
“Say something, Lindsey. I’m baring my soul here.” He tempered that statement by winking at her, but she didn’t smile. She pulled away from him instead.
“What if we don’t rub along? What if we’ll end up hating each other, and what if we’re not compatible?” He raised one eyebrow at that, and the most fascinating blush appeared on her cheekbones.
“Compatible in what department, exactly, little bird?”
That blush of hers deepened, much to his amusement. Anyone would think she truly was an innocent, which should have been ridiculous, and yet…She couldn’t be, could she?
He grasped her chin again to make her look at him, and she blew out a shaky breath.
“You know…”
“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking, now, would I?”
“Oh, for pity’s sake, in the bedroom, all right?”
He burst out laughing and Lindsey hugged her arms to herself in a defensive move that set his alarm bells ringing. Still, he pressed on.
“Sweetheart, if we were confining ourselves to the bedroom, then we would have a compatibility issue. I intend to have you on every surface of this house, as well as in the bedroom.”
“Oh, right, that is…Oh.”
“Lindsey, is there something I should know? Has something happened in your past to make you afraid of sex, or—”
“No, nothing like that.” Lindsey threw a hand over her mouth when it seemed to dawn on her that she had interrupted him, and he smiled to show he wasn’t displeased with her right now. Besides, he wanted, needed to know what was holding her back.
“Okay, so has this to do with the other man, the one your mother claims you love? Are you worried about getting intimate with me when…”
He paused when she frantically shook her head, while stepping away further. He matched her retreat step by step, until the patio doors stopped her.
Putting his hands either side of her face, he crowded her against the door.
“Tell me about him,” he said.
“About who?”
“Lindsey.”
He had to wonder at the trapped deer-in-the-headlights look before she opened her mouth to speak.
“There’s nothing to tell.” She flicked him a glance, took a deep breath in, and then settled her gaze on his collarbone. “He’s in love with his dead wife, still, that’s all.”
Logan reared back at that statement, and a whimper escaped her at his reaction. His gut churned as the puzzle pieces locked into place and he saw what had been staring him in the face all this time.
“Little bird,” he grimaced at the hoarse quality of his voice, but it did make her look up at him, and the depth of emotion he saw in her dark eyes punched him in the gut.
Fuck.
“Lindsey, I can’t…I mean, fuck. Please tell me it’s not me.”
Chapter Nine
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god… Those three words bounced around in her brain, as she desperately thought of ways to take back what she had just said, but he knew. She might not have said his name, but she might as well have shouted it out, and he looked as though she’d just ripped his heart out of his throat and trampled all over it.
That’s certainly how she felt, seeing his reaction. Not that she had expected him to declare his undying love for her once he knew she loved him, but she hadn’t envisaged him being this emotional, either, especially as she hadn’t told him her other news. Lord only knew how he would react to that, and she would have to tell him, and soon, before they did anything else. That is, if he even still wanted her after this.
Pushing away from her, Logan walked over to the work top, picked up the earlier wine he’d poured, and downed the whole lot in one go. Lindsey wrapped her arms around herself as she watched the ripples of his throat, and, taking all her courage in her hands, she walked over to him. A shot of alcohol would do her good right about now, and besides seeing the myriad emotions chasing each other across his chiseled features, she needed to touch him. She wanted so badly to make this better for him, to chase away his demons, and just be allowed to love him.
He glanced at her when she reached for her wine and, following his example, drank the contents of her glass in one go. A warm buzz filled her veins instantly, and she reached for the bottle of wine to refill her glass.
Logan snatched the bottle out of her grasp.
“Easy there, little bird. You haven’t eaten yet, and this wine is strong.”
Hearing him call her that right now was just too much, and Lindsey stood on tiptoes to snatch the bottle back off of him. When he wouldn’t let her, she did her best to glare at him. Not that she could. Not when she was this close to him, and he looked so damn sexy matching her glare.
“Maybe I want to get drunk, damn you. Give me the freaking bottle.”
Logan simply held it up higher and out of her reach, and not knowing what else to do, Lindsey fisted her hand and punched him in the stomach. Logan exhaled sharply and pain shot up her abused knuckles as his abs deflected her ineffective punch.
“That’s an extra ten swats you’ve just earned yourself, girl. Keep going like that and you will not be able to sit in comfort for the rest of the
month.”
“What do you care?” Lindsey knew she was being childish and barely resisted the urge to stamp her foot in frustration. Why was he being so goddamn calm about this?
“I care, just not the way you might want me to.”
That did it. Lindsey lost the fight with herself and burst into tears. Logan made a strangled sound in the back of his throat, and in the next instant she was in his arms. She tried to fight him, but he was far too strong for her, and when he picked her up, cradling her to his chest, she stopped fighting.
Wordlessly, he carried her through to the living room and sat down with her on his lap on the old worn leather couch. With his arms around her and his murmuring soothing nonsense into her hair, she eventually got her emotions back under control, and her heart stuttered to a stop when he lifted her head up and kissed the tears off her face.
Every soft touch of his lips left tingles of awareness behind, and when he finally claimed her lips in a kiss so tender it made her want to cry again, she kissed him back with all the love she’d kept locked in her heart for so long.
Logan groaned into the kiss, wrapped his hands in her hair, and took charge of her mouth like only he could. His cock hardened under her ass, and Lindsey wriggled her hips in a need to get closer, to finally experience this with him.
When his free hand roamed to her breast and gently squeezed, she gasped and Logan broke the kiss.
“Look at me, little bird.”
Reluctantly, Lindsey opened her eyes, afraid to break the spell, but she couldn’t not obey that gentle demand. He smiled at her, and she lost herself in the heated intensity of his gaze, as he spoke.
“I’m sorry about my reaction in there. I just wasn’t expecting…”
Auctioned to the Gentle Dom [The Spectrum Auctions 5] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 10
