by E. K. Blair
His hands let go of me and he walks to the door, opening it. I watch him, trying to read past his glare as he states, “Then go think,” before he silently dismisses me from the room.
I don’t worry too much about the fact that I just pissed him off. All is fair in love and war, right? So I straighten myself and walk to the door, stopping to look at him with soft eyes, and then leave. This will never work properly if I go to him; he needs to come to me. So I’ll make him jealous. I’ll make him attack.
RETURNING HOME FROM running a few last minute errands before the party tonight, I hear the annoying chuckle of Richard, Bennett’s business partner, coming from the office. I toss my shopping bags on the dining room table before heading into the kitchen.
“Honey, is that you?” Bennett calls out from across the house.
“Yes, dear.”
I grab a bottle of chilled Chardonnay from the wine fridge and begin opening it as the boys round the corner. Smiling up at Bennett as he moves in behind me, I turn my head so that he can take a kiss.
“What are the two of you discussing?” I ask.
“Just a couple of merger opportunities, that’s all.”
Setting the bottle down, I respond, “I didn’t know you were interested in something like that.”
“We’re not,” Richard blurts out. “We’re not entertaining any of the offers.”
I turn to face Bennett, and he doesn’t even seem to acknowledge Richard as his eyes are focused on me with a slight smile. It isn’t until I raise up on my toes to give my husband a kiss that Richard speaks again, saying, “Jacqueline mentioned you girls having lunch yesterday. Said you had the attention of another man.”
He’s such an asshole.
“Who?” Bennett asks.
“Declan,” I tell him and then step away to face Richard, adding, “He’s the owner of the hotel the party is being held at tonight, but I’m sure that small detail was left out of whatever gossip was being slung around about me. I’m sure you’re well aware of maintaining good graces with people you do business with, am I right?”
“No need to get defensive, honey,” Bennett says.
“Not defensive, just cankered with offhanded suggestions,” I defend while eyeing Richard.
His wink peeves me as he says, “Well, you know how women can be.”
Mustering up the most gracious smile I can, I say, “As charming as this little interaction has been, you must excuse me while I get ready for the party.” I turn to Bennett, give him a kiss along his jaw, and whisper suggestively, “Join me in the bathroom,” before walking away and saying to Richard, “I look forward to seeing both you and your wife tonight.”
Whatever Jacqueline’s intentions were when she decided to tell her husband about my run-in with Declan, I know I need to play it off as nothing to Bennett and be on my best behavior tonight so that he isn’t the least bit tipped off about what I’m doing. So when he walks into the bathroom after a few minutes, I turn to face him, and silently strip off my clothes as he watches. His growing erection is noticeable through his slacks as I sit myself up on the sink counter and spread my legs open, inviting him to take what he wants.
I watch him loosen his tie, and when he starts working the buttons on his shirt, I lick my fingers and drag them down to my clit, rubbing soft circles. I think about anything but Bennett, working hard in my imagination, attempting to get myself wet. Leaning my head back against the mirror, I prop my feet up on the ledge and close my eyes. When the vision of Declan hovering over me with his hand inside my panties in his hotel the other night flashes in my head, my eyes pop open.
Fuck. I can’t think about him.
In an instant, Bennett is crouched down in front of me, hands spreading me open wider before dipping his tongue inside me. I continue massaging myself as he laps me up like I’m the only one who can quench his thirst. He sickens me, and as soon as I feel the swirl of hate manifest, I turn every part of me off and simply go through the movements I know he likes. I’m a well-oiled machine at this point, flawless in my performance.
He has no idea that I’m the poison in his bones, making my home in his soul. I’ve crept under his skin, and he never suspected a thing other than everything I’ve wanted him to, but he’s made my life a hell, and payback is a wicked bitch that comes in the form of me. I’m the devil seeped within the cracks of him. What he doesn’t know is that it’s because of him that I am what I am, and he’s fallen into the cobwebs of my lies like a fool. I guess I should love him for that, because when he least suspects it, he’s going to give me everything I’ve been seeking—vengeance.
“WOULD YOU MIND zipping me up?” I call out to Bennett from inside my closet.
I stand in front of my floor-length framed mirror that rests against one of the walls. The strapless black satin gown is adorned with a scattered crystal beaded bodice that fades down into the slim, silky black skirt that falls to the floor. When Bennett walks up from behind, his smile is wide when he catches the zipper and slowly drags it up the center of my back.
“You’re beautiful,” he tells me before dropping kisses along my bare shoulder.
“Bennett, that tickles,” I giggle as I shimmy away. I look at his reflection in the mirror as he laughs and then ask, “Can you help tie my sash?”
Looking down at the wide, burnt orange, satin sash that’s draped around my waist and down my hips, he shakes his head, holding the two ends and says, “What do I do with this?”
“For such a smart boy, you think you could manage a simple tie,” I tease. Giving a wink, I straighten my posture and instruct, “Just a loose knot. I’d like it to hang slack a little below my waist.”
As he works the fabric, my mind goes back to Declan. I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday, but I know he’ll be at the party tonight. He’s growing impatient with me, which is good, but just as before when Bennett and Declan were together, my nerves are heightened. I don’t mind if Bennett suspects that I might be having an affair, but to have him suspicious this early on could be fatal. I need to make sure that Bennett is none the wiser and to simply assume that through the time spent together planning this event, we have become nothing more than friends and that the only intimacy I crave is that of my husband.
“How’s that?” he asks as he steps away.
I turn and look over my shoulder at the back of my dress and smile. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
He wraps his arms around me and draws me in close. He’s clad in his black tux and bowtie—classic Bennett. Looking into his eyes, I softly sigh and relax in his embrace, whispering, “I miss you.”
“You have me, honey. I’m right here.”
“For now. But I still miss you, like I can never get close enough to you for it to be enough,” I tell him, my words nothing but maladies for my liking.
“God, do you have any clue what that does to me?”
“Hmm . . . tell me.”
“If I tell you, I’m going to unknot that sash and peel this gown off of you.”
My smile grows, and he kisses the corner of my mouth, always careful not to smudge my lipgloss. We spend a few moments holding each other before we slip on our coats and head down to the car.
When we pull up to the hotel, Baldwin parks in front and Bennett grabs the box with my mask. He opens it and pulls out the black, laser-cut metal mask and says, “Where did you find this? It’s really unique.”
His comment catches me off guard because I assumed it was a gift from him, but then it dawns on me that the reason there was no card or note was because it’s from Declan.
“Oh,” I say, taking a second before lying, “I found it online and ordered it.”
“Come here,” he says as he leans in. Gently placing it on my face, he loops the ribbon behind my head and secures it in a bow.
I can’t believe Declan did this and never said anything. “Does it look okay?” I ask.
“You’re perfect.”
I hold out my hand for his mask—a golden et
ched mask with large contrasting burnt orange and deep red swirls of flame. When I have it tied in place, I softly press my lips to his.
“Let’s go,” he says. “I want everyone to see how beautiful you look tonight.”
Laughing at his words, I remark, “Arm candy?”
“You’re so much more than candy.”
He takes my hand as we walk in, fashionably late, to the already busy room. I stop for a moment to take everything in: the dark room is flanked with fire-burning rustic lanterns lining the walls, lavish orange and red flowers and greenery filling the tables, people dressed in their finest gowns and tuxes, and masks that reflect the theme—devils, harlequins, studded black leather, and of course my own black metal mask.
“I didn’t think you could top yourself, but this is amazing, honey,” Bennett tells me.
The room is busy with friends, my husband’s colleagues, waiters serving various drinks and hors d’oeuvres, the band playing, and people dancing and mingling.
“Shall we?” Bennett says as he leads me into the dark, fire-lit room.
It isn’t long before we are mixed in with the crowd and greeting our guests. I quickly snatch a flute of champagne off a silver tray. Taking a sip, I hear Jacqueline from behind me, “Nina, I’m impressed.”
When I turn to face her, I respond, “You say that as if you had doubts.” My words come out a little tart, but she doesn’t seem to take offense.
“Never. You always put on the best events,” she says. “You look amazing, by the way. I love the orange.”
“Thank you. I had the pleasure of seeing your husband earlier today. Seems he and my husband couldn’t take a day off from business.”
“Boys will be boys,” she says, and then adds with a smirk, “Especially when it comes to money and slinging their power around.”
We both laugh at the honesty of her statement when I feel Bennett’s arm wrap around my shoulder. “What are you girls laughing about?”
“Do you really need to ask?” I tease.
“Do you think you could pull yourself away from gossiping about me so that I can take you for a spin on the dance floor?”
“But talking about the quandaries of the men in our lives is so much fun,” I mock with a grin.
“I can only imagine,” he states before giving Jacqueline a nod and complimenting, “You look lovely this evening, Jacqueline.”
“As do you, Bennett,” her response laced in her usual flirtation. “If you’ll excuse me, I should probably go find Richard.”
When she walks away, Bennett leads us down to the crowded dance floor, and I finally spot Declan out of the corner of my eye. He stands in a small group, looking sharp in a black tux, but with no tie and the top couple buttons open. His eyes are covered in a gold and black diamond checkered harlequin mask, but I know it’s him by the day-old stubble on his strong jaw. When Bennett holds me close, I watch Declan over his shoulder as we move around the dance floor. His eyes finally find mine at the same time a slinky brunette slides up next to him and he wraps his arms around her waist. His eyes never stray from mine as she whispers something into his ear and I see the smile grow on his face, pleased by whatever she’s saying.
My stomach coils, not from jealousy, because I don’t get jealous, but from the fear of knowing that I could’ve fucked myself by playing too hard to get with him. Maybe I read him wrong and the push and pull act I’ve been playing with him was more of a turn off than a turn on. Or maybe he’s just trying to make me jealous to get me to finally make a move with him. No matter which of the two scenarios it may be, I only have one option in this and that’s to play him at his own game.
So as Declan flirts with the woman on his arm, eyes still pinned to mine, I let my eyes fall shut as I run my nose along Bennett’s jaw until my lips meet his in a tender kiss. With one hand behind his neck, I bury my fingers in his hair as I continue to kiss him.
Drawing back slightly, Bennett runs his knuckles down my cheek with soft eyes before he pulls me back into his arms. When I look over to Declan, he isn’t paying me any attention; instead, he’s sipping on whatever is in his double old-fashioned as he grazes his fingers slowly up and down the woman’s bare arm.
The thick cloud of defeat begins to wash over me and not even the best actress in the world could stave off the mood shift that flicks inside of my stomach. It’s a sick feeling that chokes me in a painful clench of knowing that this may not ever happen for me. That more years of my life were spent wasted on a quest that will come to naught.
I spend the next couple of hours focusing on Bennett, trying to distract me from myself, swallowing down the shit mood, but it still manifests in my gut—a never-ending reminder. But no one is wise to my inner-workings as we stroll through the room, visiting, toasting to the new year that is upon us, laughing, drinking, smiling, bragging, complimenting, faking . . .
And then I become the biggest fake of all when Bennett spots Declan and calls out for him.
“Bennett,” he drawls in his ever-present brogue. “Good to see you again.”
“Same here. This is quite an event.”
“Well, you and I both know it’s only because of Nina here,” he says as he gives me an approving nod.
With a hint of a smile, I loop my arm through Bennett’s as I return the nod.
“Catherine,” he says to his date, “I’d like you to meet Mr. Vanderwal and his wife, Nina.”
I can’t ignore the needle he uses to stab the word wife, but I keep myself in check as I extend my hand to her for a gracious shake.
“It’s a pleasure,” I say.
“This is a wonderful party.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself,” I tell her and then turn to Bennett. Reaching up to affectionately cup his cheek, I excuse myself, saying, “Do you think I could get a few minutes? I’m a little warm and not feeling too well.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I just need a little breather. I’ll be back shortly,” I tell him and then give him a loving kiss in front of Declan, taking my time in an indecent display of affection. Lucky for me, I know Bennett, and he loves to make a show out of me, so I use that with the intent of making myself somehow feel better about this colossal failure I’ve created.
The emptiness inside of me swells as I make my way out of the room and down the hall towards Declan’s office where I know there’s a private bathroom. I just need to be alone to pull myself together from the swarming thoughts that are flooding my head right now.
Another knife in a faltered dream.
I walk over to the large, leather ottoman that sits in the center of the plush powder room. Heat creeps its way up my neck as thoughts of Pike enter, and I reach back to pull the ribbon loose on my mask. The cool air meets my skin as I drop the mask to the floor. I allow myself this rare moment of weakness as I sit here, but it’s interrupted when I hear the door open and look over my shoulder to see Declan.
I don’t speak as I watch him lock the door behind him. And then he faces me. His jaw is set tight as he takes his mask off, giving me a clear view of his darkened eyes, nearly black.
“I’m done with the fucking games here,” he barks as he walks over to me.
I stay quiet, slightly confused about this situation, as he continues, “You, making a spectacle in front of me with that man we both know you’re not happy with. Is this you trying to make me jealous?”
He stands over me, looking down, when I snap, “I should be asking you the same question.”
“Shut your mouth, Nina,” he demands sternly.
He’s pissed—jealous.
I’m suddenly revived, but the games are over. I’ll give him exactly what I know he wants, my submission to his demanding request. He startles me when he abruptly grabs ahold of my arms and forcefully yanks me up to my feet and spins me around in his arms so that we’re both facing the mirror. With one hand clenched around my arm, his other grabs my jaw, forcing me to look at our reflection.
/> “Look at me.”
I do.
“You want me?”
Nerves crash inside of me, accelerating my breathing, but I don’t respond.
“Answer me!”
“Yes.” My voice, hoarse in its attempt to speak.
“Say it,” he snaps as he releases my face and slips his hand down to my throat, gripping it firmly, forcing my head back. “Say it!”
“I want you.”
As soon as the words are out, he pushes me down quickly, and before I know it, he has my dress lifted, exposing my backside. My hands grab on to the edge of the sink to brace myself as he yanks my panties to the side.
“Look at me,” he instructs in a hard voice, and I do as he says, lifting my head to meet his eyes in the mirror. “I don’t have a soft touch, Nina.”
I nod my head and see him nodding as well in our mutual understanding of his words as he unhooks his belt and begins to unfasten his slacks. I shut down, taking my mind far away from what’s about to happen.
“Stick your ass out for me.”
I do, and without any warning, he slams inside of me, locking our bodies, causing a pained whimper to bleed out from my lips. With his hands on my hips, he hunches his shoulders over me, pinning me over the sink as he thrusts his cock in me over and over in a pounding feat of control, and I give it to him as I hold on tightly.
“Look at me,” he snarls in my ear. His eyes are hooded in primal need as I watch him fuck me from behind. I fight the heat that I can feel boiling inside of me, grinding my teeth as I try to ignore the slapping of his balls against my clit with each volatile thrust. But unlike Bennett, Declan forces me to stay in the moment with him when he says, “Tell me how bad you want me.”
I quickly shake my head, not wanting to speak.
“Tell me, Nina.”
“Mmm mmm.”
My denial is punished in an erotic agony that shoots through my core and up my spine when Declan painfully pinches my clit between his fingers, causing me to scream out and jerk my body away from him, but he bands his one arm around my waist, locking me still in his hold. He doesn’t let up as he hisses in my ear, “Tell me,” never once faltering as he continues to pump in and out of me.
