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decided. "Anything before the immediate moment was history." The family—telling his family—that was the biggie. But not yet. He wanted to hold on to this time, these feelings. They were his and his alone. Falling in love was such a serious business. It meant responsibility for another person, through good and bad, through sickness and health. If he had one wish, it would be that his marriage be as good and strong, as happy and loving, as his grandmother's, his mother's, and his Aunt Amelia's. He decided he would pray to that end. First, he would do it in the Christian way and then in the Japanese way.
While Cole contemplated his love for Sumi, she pored over bridal books, her hope chest, and anything else that related to marriage. There was no way Cole Tanner was going to get away from her. When he popped the question, she intended to be ready, right down to the last pair of stockings. So far, she had not confided in her sisters, knowing they would giggle and chortle and insist on helping. Getting ready for the most important day of her life was something she wanted to do alone, so she could pick out special moments and remember them with ease. She wondered what Texas would be like and how Cole's family would accept her. She knew they would, but her older sister's unhappy experience was something she'd never forget.
When was Cole going to ask her the all-important question? At last count, she had twenty-seven different ways to say yes.
Four days remained of Cole's extended vacation. She had to make them count, to make them the most important in both their lives, so important that Cole would be miserable in Texas without her, just as she would be miserable here in Japan without him.
Sumi fell asleep with a vision of herself in a long, trailing white dress full of lace, the background blurred—Texas or Japan. It didn't matter as long as Cole was next to her.
"Today, Cole, I'm going to take you on the Shinkansen Super Express. Here in Japan we call it the bullet train. Supposedly it is the fastest train in the world. Perhaps it is faster than the plane you fly. By the way, why do you refer to the Coleman plane as the DM or the Dream Machine? But first, do you have the nerve to ride the bullet?" Sumi teased.
"Do I have the nerve? I've traveled faster than the speed of sound. A train is a train," Cole grumbled.
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"Very well, Cole Tanner," Sumi smiled. "But when you fall off the seat, I will not pick you up."
"That fast, eh?"
"That fast." Sumi smiled.
"And after the train ride, what then?"
"My father has given us tickets to a Kabuki drama. I think you will love it, as I do. I'm so glad, Cole, that you like all the same things I do. We have much in common."
"Not so fast, young lady. There is one thing here that we do not have in common. You've tested my good nature four times now since I'm here. No more!"
"What? Tell me how I have... What have I done?" Sumi could feel a vise around her heart at Cole's strange voice.
"You have the same sickness all my family has, at least the women. I thought you would be different, but you aren't. It's the only thing that I ... I wish it was different, but... you can't change, just like they can't. It's so sad. ... I was hoping ..."
Sumi stopped in her tracks. Tears brimmed in her eyes. "Tell me this instant how I have displeased you." She stamped her tiny foot in frustration.
"Sumi, Sumi, I was teasing. Please, don't cry. You could never displease me in any way. I'm sorry if I upset you. I meant shopping. Sometimes I think the women in my family were born to shop. Sawyer is the biggest offender. She can shop for days and then she collapses and says her feet hurt. Then she rushes out to buy new shoes for her aching feet. I was teasing about shopping on the Ginza. Truly, I enjoyed the shops and watching you haggle over the prices. It's an art."
"You are serious about this, aren't you?" Sumi laughed, her eyes sparkling with the tears she held in check.
"Sumi, I love you," Cole said softly.
There on the crowded Ginza with people streaming by, Sumi echoed her love for Cole.
"Later, after the bullet train, if I'm still alive, we'll talk, all right?" Cole asked softly.
"I'll hold you tight so you don't fall off the seat," Sumi smiled. "Yes, I wish to talk .. . about us."
Cole walked around the Hasegawa house for the last time. His heart ached that he was leaving this all behind. In two short weeks he'd come to love everything about Japan, particularly this family. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He didn't want to go back to Texas, but for now he had no choice.
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He'd start to put the wheels in motion as soon as he set foot on Texas soil. His thoughts brought him to the music room with all the family pictures. Again, he could feel the mist in his eyes as he stared at Riley and a Sumi he'd never known. His footsteps were leaden, his shoulders drooping as he walked out of the room. Good-byes were so hard.
Where was Sumi? She'd said she would be back in thirty minutes. Something about her father wanting something from the paper. It wasn't like Sumi to be late.
Cole's footsteps took him to the tranquil Zen garden. He would miss this peaceful place. If only. ..
Startled at the sound of a footfall, Cole turned to see the old Japanese behind him. "There are times when I believe I can hear my soul breathe in this quiet place. Can you hear your soul, Coleman san?"
"Yes," Cole said simply. "I'm happy that you are up and about. You're feeling better, then?"
"Somewhat. Has my daughter pleased you these past days? At times she is willful, with a mind of her own."
Thank God for that, Cole thought. He searched for the right words. He turned till he was facing the old one. He led him to his seat and took one opposite him. "I've fallen in love with Sumi. Your ruse worked. Mind you, I didn't figure this out myself; Sumi told me you would never, under any circumstance, take to your bed, unless there was a reason. I must return to Texas today, but I'll be back. Thank you, Mr. Hasegawa."
"And I thought I was being so clever," the old man said fretfully. "You see, I have no secrets anymore." His tone was still fretful when he said, "I don't suppose Sumi told you she pestered me to come up with a plan so you could spend some time together."
Cole's eyes were full of awe. Then he threw back his head and laughed. "We've been had!"
"Ah, so, now you understand. That is good. Your fam-ily..."
"My mother speaks of Sumi often. She loves her. Grandmother Billie says she is like Otami. She, too, loves her. My family will accept her. You need have no fear on that score."
There was fear in the old one's voice when he asked, "You will take Sumi away from here?"
"No. I wouldn't do that. I'm surprised at your question. I thought we understood one another."
There was sadness in the old man's voice. "Once, not so long
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ago, I thought I understood, but I was wrong. One must hear the words, Coleman san, not once, but several times. The more times the words are repeated, the more meaning they hold."
Sumi returned, her eyes soft and compassionate as she leaned over to kiss her father's dry cheek. "What have you been telling him?" she asked.
"All your secrets, you willful child." The old man smiled. "Where are you taking him now?"
"To the Shinto temple, as you instructed, and from there to the airport. You said he must see the fifty different kinds of mosses that grow there. For his Japanese education." Sumi's tone clearly indicated she would much rather do something else.
"One must see these things, be aware of them. In Texas they have no moss, only... tumble weeds. Go along, now. Did you bring me the cigar you promised, and did you leave the sake in my bedroom?"
"But of course, Father. We made a deal, did we not?"
"Yes, but you are a wily one. Sometimes you try to trick me and think I'll forget. Light the cigar for me, Coleman san. Be sure to close the front doors and pull the curtains. Tell your sisters I sleep. I want to smoke it down to the end."
Cole hid his smile as he struck a match to the cigar. A real
Havana. He puffed till the tip glowed red. He handed it reverently to the old man, who reached for it greedily. "Go! I want to smoke in peace."
Sumi closed the door softly and drew the curtains. Two of her sisters hovered about. She spoke rapidly in Japanese. Once he heard the word cigar. The sisters nodded and withdrew.
"It's a conspiracy." Cole laughed. "They know!"
"Of course they know. They know about the sake, too. It keeps Father's wits about him. He enjoys tricks and devious-ness." Sumi laughed.
"Let's get on with the moss business," Cole grumbled.
"You do not wish to see the Shinto temple?" Sumi giggled.
"I don't care. As long as I'm with you, that's all that matters."
"If you don't mind waiting one more minute, Cole, I want to fetch my raincoat. You will want to say good-bye to my father in private. I'll join you shortly."
Wise, wonderful Sumi. Of course he wanted to say good-bye in private. He had a favor to ask of the old Japanese. His eyes dropped to his flight bag. All the old one could say was no.
Cole squared his shoulders and rapped softly on the garden
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door. When the old man told him to enter, he bent down and hefted his flight bag to his shoulder.
"I came to say good-bye and to thank you for a wonderful visit. I ... I was wondering ... I have a favor. ... It isn't exactly a favor.. . it's more like a request. . . . Would you ... do you think you could ..." Cole bent down, to the old man's puzzlement, and then handed something to the old Japanese. "I would like it if... if you could put this in ... in there with the others. If you think it doesn't belong, I'll understand." Cole held his breath, waiting, hoping the reply would be favorable.
Shadaharu Hasegawa's hands trembled. Nothing had prepared him for this moment. He looked down at what he held in his hand and then into Cole's eyes. His voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Cole found himself straining to hear the words. "You honor this old man, Coleman san, but you are too late."
Cole's heart sank. "Too late? I don't understand."
Cole followed the old man to the music room. His eyes searched out Sumi's growing years and then Riley's. He waited.
"My ears followed your footsteps a short while ago. I thought you had seen the family's latest addition. You did not turn on the light; perhaps that is why you missed it. Here, now we have light!" Cole stared about the room. He had missed it, probably because all the frames were the same. Next to the last picture of Riley was a picture of himself in the Zen garden, his favorite place in all of Japan. He was relaxed in the picture, not realizing Sumi was clicking her Nikon.
Cole sucked in his breath. "Did Sumi do this? I'm sorry. ..."
"No, Coleman san, Sumi did not do this. I myself placed this picture here last night on the eve of your departure. I consider you to be one of my family. I am honored, Coleman san, that you have accepted us as your own."
Cole didn't try to speak; there were no words for this moment. Instead, he wrapped the frail old man in his arms. "It is I, sir, who am honored."
"You will continue to look after my grandson?"
"You bet. He'll be here before you know it."
"Is that a promise, Coleman san?" the old man asked hopefully.
Cole didn't think twice about the lie. "A promise, old friend."
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"Have a safe trip, Coleman san. You have much to live for now."
Cole winked at the old man. "Yes, much to live for. Take care of yourself."
"I will see to it, Cole," Sumi said from the doorway. "Come, it is time to say good-bye to my family."
They were lined up in rows, the men in the back, the women in the middle, and the children in front. When they bowed, he bowed. When they smiled, he smiled. He waved good-bye, and they waved good-bye. Sumi giggled all the way to the Shinto temple.
"Will you see about coming to Texas for Christmas?"
"I will do my best. You will not return here?" she asked dejectedly.
"If I can. I'll call every day, and I'll write. You do the same." Sumi nodded, tears gathering in her eyes.
"I will wait for all eternity, Cole."
At the airfield Sumi cried silently. Cole patted her awkwardly. He wished she were going home with him. "I'll call you as soon as I get home. I swear, I'll write every day."
"I will, too. I want to join you for Christmas. I will do my best. Promise you won't forget about me. Absence... makes one forget...."
"Never. I'll be back as soon as possible. Be sure to tell your father I... enjoyed all the... the moss."
Sumi hiccuped. "I will tell him, Cole. Give my regards to all of your wonderful family."
Sumi watched the Dream Machine till it was nothing more than a dot in the sky.
Cole would not forget her. Their lives were linked. The days from now till Christmas would fly by; she was sure of it. Love had wings, or so said the romantic songs.
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UUHUi CHAPTER NINE!
Pale winter sunshine crept lazily into Tei she'd mistakenly tacked onto the west stuck out at an awkward angle and c around four in the afternoon. The rest o and dreary. She hadn't done much in tl once she discovered her mistake. For filled with odds and ends from the attic longed to her mother and that she hadn't There were several dusty plastic and silk in brass urns—her own contribution. L neral room waiting for a body.
Tess sat alone this afternoon, the latest lap. Not that she was reading it, but it gav the room. She'd felt the need to conte present, and her future today. She knew sto about her past, and the future was up for gr giving her the answers she longed for. Th; and her own ability to figure out what she She rarely soul-searched, because she found. For instance: Her nest egg was se hated her, and she detested him. Lacey w of becoming a Coleman through marriag Business was lousy: the matrons and th
into the background: she could become a bag lady, going to look after her? Not Coots. If they went bell head right to the oil fields and hire on like some comi Lacey was in New York. She'd written once and asi things to be sent on. Tess hadn't heard from her i supposed she could have written, but she hadn't. Lac daughter. It was up to her to keep in touch with her gave that girl the best of everything; I never stinted years of my life went to that child, and how does she She slinks off to New York like a thief in the night," Te She'd taught Lacey every trick known to woman, ai couldn't hold on to one of the Colemans. Tears rollec leathery cheeks. Lacey didn't care one whit about h< else did either. Even Billie Coleman with her fancy Washington didn't care. She'd practically promisee she'd be inundated with requests for charts after she the in-depth forecasts Billie ordered. Tess should hz better. All Billie Coleman wanted was information, probably right; they must have laughed at her behinc sniggering was what he said.
Tess blew her nose lustily into a tissue. When sh find a wastebasket, she threw it in the corner. What did it make? She was the only one who ever came into
Ivy stood in the doorway watching her mother < were any kind of a daughter, she'd be in the room c her, wouldn't she? Unbidden, the hurts, the rejec nasty barbs, surfaced. Should she walk past the opei ignore her mother? No, that was wrong.
"Mama, what's the matter?" she asked, entering ium.
"Matter? Everything's the matter! Are you blind,
"How dare you talk to me like that? Didn't I put clothes on your back, feed and house you? Who do you think paid for all those years in college? Ah did! Don't you go spouting that ah don't care."
Ivy's words trembled out against her will. "I'm talking about love, Mama. You never showed any. You were never there when I needed you. I know you called me an ugly duckling behind my back. It was always Lacey this and Lacey that. You didn't even love Lacey. She told me you didn't."
"Ah always nursed you when you were sick. I walked the floor at night with you when you were a baby. Ah breast-fed you because you wouldn't take a formula. Ah changed your shitty diapers. Doesn't that count?" Tess wailed.
"No. Not to me. Lacey either. I don't ever
remember you saying a kind word to me. You never praised me. You never encouraged me. You don't know how to love," Ivy said sadly.
"Love? You talk about love! Let me tell you a thing or two, young lady. In this life there isn't a whole lot of room for sappy sentiment. Life is cold, and mercy me, it is hard. Ah did the best ah could for you girls, and this is the thanks ah get. Lacey said the same things you're saying. For shame. Ungrateful snots!"
Ivy bit her tongue. She would not say all the mean, hateful things she wanted to say. She would not. She'd bite her tongue off first. "Both of us can't be wrong, Mama," she said quietly. "You didn't even come to my graduation. All these years I studied hard, never socialized, just keeping my nose to the books so you'd be proud of me. You didn't even come. I kept looking all over. Lacey told me you wouldn't be there, but I kept hoping. Everyone had a parent there. Everyone but me!"
"For heaven's sake, Ivy, if it was that important, why didn't you say something?"
"That's what I'm talking about, Mama. I shouldn't have to ask. I thought you'd come because you were proud of me. Daddy said he wanted to go, but you didn't."
"Ah suppose you're going to throw that in my face for the rest of my life."
"No. I'm moving out after the first of the year. I have a good job now, and I've found an apartment I can afford."
"Thanks to my efforts and sacrifices," Tess sniffed. "Your father and I are probably going to lose Buckalew Big Wells. He'll go off to the oil fields and ah'll become a bag lady. Do
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you care? Does Lacey care? Hell no, you don't, so don't stand there and pretend you do."
Ivy clenched her teeth. She reached for her mother's shoulders. She wanted to shake her till her teeth rattled. She dropped to her knees till they had eye contact. "Mama, I will never let you become a bag lady. I will personally see to it that you are taken care of. Lacey will help, too. Even if we have to sacrifice. There will always be someone to care for you."
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