by Rhoda Baxter
Chapter Nine
‘I’ll be about five minutes,’ Beth said as she pulled on latex gloves and grabbed a lab book.
‘Okay. I’ll wait here.’ Gordon flung himself into a chair and put his feet on her desk. He grabbed a draft paper that Hibs was proofreading and started to skim though it.
Beth paused. ‘Don’t touch anything.’
Gordon gave her an injured look and carried on reading.
Beth hurried down to the microscope room, turning lights on as she went. She shut the door to the room behind her, leaned against it and let out a deep breath. Gordon was back. On the walk over from the pub, he had slipped his arm around her waist like he had always done and they caught up with what had been happening while they’d been apart – in Beth’s case, not much; in Gordon’s, a whole lot.
She couldn’t believe that he had come back. He was back for a whole six months and he still wanted to be with her. Rolling back her sleeve, she pinched herself. Ow. Yes, it was definitely happening. A huge smile tugged at her mouth. Once she’d taken these photos, she’d have four hours to spend with him before she had to take the next set. Four whole hours to catch up with Gordon. She was so happy she felt she could fly. She took another deep breath and tried to force herself calm. She had to keep a steady hand for these photos.
After a few more breaths she had her emotions under control. She checked that there was nothing lying around to trip her up and turned out the main lights. In the eerie red light, she found the first of the microscopes, turned the camera on as carefully as possible and grabbed the image.
She practically flew back upstairs to Gordon. He was leaning forward, looking through something else on her desk.
‘I’m done for another few hours,’ she said as she binned her gloves and washed her hands.
‘What’s this?’ Gordon held up a list of names.
‘Those are the guys who responded to our advert for the calendar.’
‘Calendar?’
She told him what it was about.
He frowned. ‘That sounds like you’re desperate to find a man.’
‘I’m not looking for a man.’ She felt a stab of guilt that she’d even been thinking about snogging Hibs. It had made sense at the time, when she’d thought that she and Gordon had no hope. It was clear to her now that she’d been wrong. He wouldn’t have kissed her like that if they were over. ‘Technically,’ she said, cautiously, ‘I am single.’
‘No you’re not. You’ve got me.’ He came over to her and touched her cheek. ‘Beth, when I told you earlier that I was afraid it would be painful for you if we were in touch … I lied. I didn’t call or text because it was too painful for me.’ He took both her hands in his big warm ones. The sensation awoke more memories of happy times with him. His eyes met hers, so beautiful they were almost hypnotic.
Gordon continued, ‘I really thought I loved the job more than I loved you, but it hurt me being away from you. I thought going cold turkey was the best way to get over it, but I was wrong. There wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think about you … us. We made a stupid, stupid mistake splitting up. I … would like us to try again. If you …’ He placed her hands over his heart. ‘If you’ll have me.’
It was as though Gordon’s thoughts had been linked to her own. He had just articulated everything she’d felt during their separation. Any residual anger at the lack of contact evaporated. Her heart sang. Her Gordon was back. Happiness broke over her, making her tingle. All was right with the world again. ‘I missed you too,’ she said. ‘I’m glad you’re back.’
Anna kissed Hibs when they got into the lift up to Beth’s flat. Kissing Anna made him forget that he wasn’t kissing Beth. By the time the doors pinged open, her top was in his hands. She managed to open the flat with one hand while the other was still inside his shirt. Hibs was impressed. They tumbled into the flat, kissing furiously and tearing clothes off each other. The kitchen light was on and, as they passed, Hibs dimly registered that Gordon’s jacket was on the table. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and followed Anna into her room.
Afterwards, he lay in the dark, his fingers idly ruffling Anna’s spiky hair. He had been right about her. Skilled. She was currently asleep, with her leg thrown across him. She had jumped him, without much encouragement. He liked that. He never had to work hard on women, but it was still flattering to have an attractive woman just grab him.
He thought about Gordon and Beth. If only he’d made his move sooner. Beth would have been with him and Gordon would have had to bugger off. Just ten minutes and things would have worked out differently. Hibs sighed. There was no point thinking about what might have been. He had to face the fact that it was Gordon that was in Beth’s bed now and he was in Anna’s.
Anna was Beth’s housemate … which could make things awkward. He had been so angry about Gordon’s reappearance that he’d gone with Anna when she propositioned him, almost out of revenge. Which was, even by his own standards, a stupid thing to have done.
Now he couldn’t come back to Beth’s house for a while. Anna stirred and her hand came up and rested on his nipple. Hibs smiled – she wouldn’t take long to get over it. Her fingers moved, caressing him, and he realised she wasn’t asleep at all. He looked down at her and she smiled, her eyes still closed. Okay. It may have been a mistake to sleep with her, but now was not the time to dwell on it.
Beth opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Gordon. A sliver of sunlight sneaked in through the gap in the curtains and fell on his golden brown hair, making it glow. She pinched herself again to check she wasn’t dreaming. Ouch. No. He really was back. She propped herself up on her elbow and watched his smooth, well-muscled chest rise and fall. She had dreamed about this so often in the past six months, and here he was again. Back where he belonged. To think she had almost thrown it all away. If Gordon had turned up five minutes later, she would have been walking to the lab, flirting with Hibs.
The thought of Hibs brought a small tingle to the base of her spine. She cast a guilty glance at Gordon. She was so lonely she had even been thinking she might kiss Hibs. What a disaster that would have been. She would have missed Gordon and ruined a perfectly good friendship with Hibs just because she’d let her frustrations get the better of her. Well, that was a lesson learned. She should have trusted her instincts and waited for Gordon to come back to her.
There were muffled noises from the next room. Anna must have pulled some unsuspecting bloke last night. The thought that it might be Hibs crossed her mind and she frowned. It was quite likely to be Hibs, now that she thought of it. Anna definitely fancied him. Well, that could make things awkward. But if they made each other happy … A sudden wash of annoyance and hurt surprised her. Pulling random people was what Hibs did. She shouldn’t let it bother her. Besides, if she’d wanted to be one of his floozies, she’d had the opportunity yesterday. Thank goodness Gordon had returned and saved her from making a stupid mistake. She shifted position to look back at him sleeping peacefully beside her.
Gordon’s breathing changed and he opened his eyes. Beth decided she was too happy to care about Hibs or Anna.
‘Good morning.’ She planted a kiss on his shoulder.
‘Morning. What time is it?’ His voice was still slurred with sleep.
‘Only about seven.’
He smiled. ‘I don’t need to be at the department until nine. Which gives us plenty of time.’
Beth smiled back. ‘Plenty of time for …?’
‘Come here, you.’ He kissed her, pulling her to him, and Beth melted. She had missed this so much. She could go on kissing him forever.
Chapter Ten
‘So he just grabbed you and kissed you? Just like that? Before he even said hello?’ Lara put down her cup.
‘Yes,’ said Beth. ‘Isn’t it romantic?’
‘Presumptuous
, more like. What if you had a boyfriend?’
‘But I don’t.’
Lara rolled her eyes. ‘But if you had. He could have caused a major problem for you, just kissing you like that.’
Beth considered. Lara might have a point, but it was pretty irrelevant. If she’d had a boyfriend, she would have been with him and Gordon would have had the sense to leave her alone. ‘Yes, but it’s no big deal. Because I don’t have a boyfriend.’
‘He didn’t know that though. He just marched in and grabbed you, regardless. I call that thoughtless at best.’
Beth was disappointed. She had expected Lara to be supportive or, at least, marginally happy for her. All the time that Beth had been depressed about breaking up with Gordon, Lara had listened and made soothing comments, gently urging her to move on and meet other people. Now that Beth finally had what she was longing for, she had expected Lara to be as happy as she was.
Beth regarded her friend over the rim of her coffee. Lara looked tired. Maybe that was why she was being so unlike her usual supportive self. Perhaps it was time to change the subject. ‘So, what are you and Chris up to this weekend? Anything fun?’
Lara didn’t answer and stared at her coffee.
‘Lara? Is there something wrong?’ Beth thought about Lara’s hesitation when Hibs had asked about Chris the other day. ‘Is something going on with Chris?’
Lara faltered in the act of picking up a flapjack. ‘What?’ She avoided looking at Beth.
‘You’re acting really strange. Are you sure you’re okay?’ Beth waited, watching Lara. Lara wasn’t given to outpourings of emotion, so it was hard to be sure, but she knew something wasn’t right. The trouble with extremely rational people was that they were often the last people to admit they needed help.
Lara carefully put her cappuccino down and sucked in her top lip to get the foam off it. ‘No,’ she said, finally. ‘I’m not sure I am.’ When she looked up, there were tears gathering in her eyes. ‘I think Chris is having an affair.’
‘Oh, Lara, no. Are you sure it’s not a misunderstanding? What makes you think that?’ Beth pictured Chris. He seemed quite nice, but then, didn’t they all. She remembered the leap of faith it had taken for Lara to admit that she’d fallen in love with him. He had been so desperate to be with her. It was impossible to imagine that he could cheat on her.
Lara shook her head. ‘I’ve suspected for some time,’ she said. ‘He’s been working funny hours. Coming home really late most nights …’
‘But he’s always done that,’ said Beth. ‘He works in London. It is a long commute.’
‘Yes, but he used to tell me about his day. Now he just says, “Oh, the usual,” and changes the subject. And he jumps in the shower as soon as he gets home. I mean, literally. He’s in the door and straight upstairs for a shower. I asked him about it and he said he couldn’t bear the grime in London.’
‘It is pretty grimy …’
A tear rolled down Lara’s cheek. ‘He’s started locking his phone. He said it was because he didn’t want to it unlocked at work in case someone played a silly joke on him. I found it on the bed last night. He’d forgotten to lock it and I looked at his text messages …’ She scraped the tear away with the side of her hand. ‘He’s definitely having an affair.’
Beth put her hand over Lara’s. ‘Oh, Lara.’
Lara turned her hand over and gripped Beth’s. They sat there in silence for a moment as Beth tried frantically to think of a reason for Chris to have compromising text messages on his phone. There had to be some other explanation.
‘It wasn’t a joke or something?’
‘No. The texts were pretty explicit,’ said Lara. There was a peculiar flatness to her tone as she stirred her drink with fierce concentration.
‘Maybe—’
‘Beth.’ Lara dropped her hand. ‘I know what I read, okay? I know you don’t like to believe bad stuff happens, but it does. It happens to everyone. Now it’s happening to me.’ Lara pushed her hair back with both her hands.
Beth was silent for a minute, taken aback by Lara’s outburst. She had only been trying to help. But this wasn’t about her. It was about Lara. Lara had given up a lot to be with Chris because she loved him. She didn’t deserve for this to happen to her.
‘What are you going to do?’
Lara shook her head. ‘I don’t know.’ She picked up her napkin and dabbed away another tear.
Beth squeezed Lara’s other hand. ‘What did he say when he realised you’d seen the texts?’
‘He doesn’t know. I locked the phone and left it where I found it.’
‘And this morning?’
‘He flew past me on his way out to catch the train, just like every morning.’ Lara looked at her hands. ‘I guess we haven’t really been communicating for some time now.’
‘Lots of couples are like that.’
Lara shrugged. ‘It used to be okay. We used to do stuff together at the weekend. Now he works Saturdays and Sundays and he never seems to want to do anything with me.’ She sighed and blew her nose. ‘I can’t carry on like this. I’m going to have to say something.’
‘What sort of something?’
‘I’m going to have to ask him to choose. Her or me.’ Lara stared ahead. ‘I bet he chooses her.’
‘He won’t. He’d have to be an idiot to lose you.’
Lara shook her head. ‘He’s already lost me. I’ll never trust him again. If he chooses her, I know what to do then. It’s almost worse if he chooses me. We’d have to figure out a way to salvage this relationship and I don’t know how to do that. I almost want him to choose her.’
‘But he might not. He might realise that what you have is worth fighting for.’
Lara shook her head. ‘I don’t know that it is. What we have isn’t a relationship. It’s a habit.’
‘But you can change that if you work on it. Some things are important and worth fighting for.’
‘Beth, I know you’re trying to help, but please shut up. The only good reason for staying with someone is if your life is happier with them than without them. Chris and I … I’m not sure he makes me happy any more.’
Beth didn’t know what to say. Lara and Chris had been a constant in her adult life. They were supposed to always be there, like her parents were. She tried to imagine Lara single and on the pull like Anna, and failed completely. No. Lara and Chris were Lara and Chris. She looked at her friend, who had regained some of her composure and was lining the sugar sachets up in an immaculate row. Lara was in pain and she wished there was something she could do to help.
‘I can ask Hibs to beat him up for you,’ she suggested, only half joking. Hibs would probably say no, but then he liked Lara, so maybe …
Lara gave her a long look before managing a weak smile. ‘Thanks. That’s sweet. I think.’
Hibs knocked over a conical flask and spilled growth media all over his bench. He swore, pulled a handful of blue paper towel from the dispenser and started to mop it up before the stuff went everywhere. He was stuffing the soggy paper into the bin, still swearing, when Beth came back. He ignored her and carried on cleaning up.
‘What happened?’ Beth shrugged on her lab coat as she entered the bay.
‘Spillage. It’s fine. I’ve got it under control.’
‘You’re sure you don’t need a hand?’
He still couldn’t look at her. He wasn’t sure what made him angry. The fact that he’d been sure he was getting somewhere with her and then she’d gone off with someone else, or the fact that she’d let that wanker Gordon take her for a ride again. Unfortunate choice of words. He closed his eyes. It had to be the latter reason. He’d spent ages slowly trying to get her out of the destructive rut that Gordon had put her into and now, in one night, Gordon had waltzed in and put her right back again. Yes. T
hat was why he was feeling so angry. Definitely.
They worked in frosty silence for a while. Hibs tried to focus on the cultures he was setting up, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the sight of Beth and Gordon kissing. The very thought made him queasy. He remembered Anna and felt marginally guilty. It was a revenge shag, but Anna was aware of the fact and didn’t seem that bothered by it. His kind of girl. He liked Anna. He could be happily not-committed to her for a while.
He lit his Bunsen burner and held a wire loop in the flame to sterilise it. As he watched it, it grew hotter and hotter, glowing first red hot, then white.
‘Hibs.’ Beth’s voice made him jump. ‘Is something wrong?’
He turned to find her standing behind him, arms crossed, brow furrowed. Everything about her said she was annoyed. At what? He hadn’t done anything.
‘Actually,’ he said, ‘something is. Gordon. That’s what’s wrong.’
‘What about Gordon?’ Her chin rose: she was ready to defend her precious Gordon.
Hibs smacked down the inoculating loop he’d been heating. It hit the desk with a sizzle. ‘I can’t believe you let him waltz back into your life like that. After all the crap he put you through.’
‘He didn’t put me through any crap. He was away.’ Her voice was taut.
‘Yes and while he was away he didn’t give you a second thought. Now that he’s back, he fancies a quick shag so he comes to see you. You just roll over and let him in.’
Beth’s jaw dropped. ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’
‘Well it’s true.’ He should stop, but he couldn’t help himself. ‘And you know I’m right. He didn’t even text you on your birthday. Those aren’t the actions of a man who’s thinking about you.’
She took a small step back, away from him. ‘He sent a card. It just got lost in the post. He …’ She stopped talking and scowled. ‘I don’t have to explain to you.’
‘You don’t seriously believe that crap about the post?’ He was shouting now. ‘Oh come on, Beth!’
