by Rhoda Baxter
‘Open it.’
She carefully peeled the package open. Inside was something small and heavy, wrapped in tissue paper. She released it from the paper and dropped it into her hand. A delicate silver brooch nestled in her palm. She moved it, watching the candlelight slide along its smooth lines. ‘Oh, Gordon.’
‘Do you like it? It’s not exactly like the one you saw when we were in Devon, but it was as close as I could get.’
She looked up into his blue, blue eyes. That weekend in Devon had been magical and romantic. At a time when her PhD was particularly stressful, the long walks on the beach and candlelit picnic that Gordon arranged had been the perfect antidote. ‘It’s beautiful. Thank you.’ Her voice gave way with emotion.
‘Not nearly as beautiful as you.’ Gordon took her free hand in his big warm one. ‘My Beth.’
Happiness lapped at her heart. No one could make her happy like Gordon could. Life was good again.
As they walked home, Gordon still holding Beth tightly to his side, he said, ‘This calendar of yours, what sort of guys do you have in it?’
‘Blokes with science PhDs,’ said Beth, cautious that Gordon might not approve. He could be a bit possessive and she didn’t want to have to argue with him about the calendar. She had forgotten just how much she enjoyed photographing people. When she was behind the camera, she forgot everything else and her whole being was focused though the viewfinder. Unsure where his line of questioning was going, she added, ‘Good-looking ones, obviously.’
‘Obviously.’ His mouth twitched into a half smile. ‘So, whose idea was that? Anna’s?’
‘Mine, actually.’
‘Really? You are full of surprises.’ His smile seemed genuine, without any trace of annoyance.
He was being remarkably agreeable about this. Perhaps she had misunderstood when she’d thought he disapproved. Feeling slightly bolder, she sketched out how she and Anna had interviewed the men and photographed them. She even told him about the naked guy. He laughed and Beth relaxed.
‘So, how many have you interviewed then? Did you have loads of men throwing themselves at your feet?’
‘We were lucky to find twelve,’ Beth said. ‘The choice was small …’ Then, thinking of Anna and Lara’s stringent criteria of who was a ‘fit’ man, added, ‘And the judging was pretty harsh.’
‘I’d be happy to be in your calendar,’ Gordon said.
Beth looked up at him; he was so beautiful. ‘And I’d love to photograph you,’ she said. ‘But we’ve got all the guys we need.’
‘So? You could move one off.’
‘I can’t do that!’ Beth was horrified at the thought and surprised that Gordon had suggested it as though it were nothing. ‘We’ve already told them they’re going to be in it.’
‘What’s the point of being in charge of a project if you can’t change your mind?’
Beth felt her shoulders start to bunch up. The feeling was familiar. Why was that? She didn’t remember being tense around Gordon before. She threw a quick glance at him. ‘I can’t change anything. Besides, I don’t think it would be right to.’
There was a pause, a mere heartbeat. ‘I was joking,’ he said. ‘Of course.’ He stopped and turned to face her. ‘You knew I was joking, right?’ His gaze focused on her.
‘Of course,’ she replied.
Gordon’s eyes sparkled in the neon streetlight. ‘I missed you so much,’ he whispered and Beth’s heart sped up. Being the focus of Gordon’s attention was breath-taking. This was what it felt like to be adored. She slipped her arms around his neck. ‘I missed you too.’
He gathered her to him and kissed her and she felt her whole body respond with well-remembered longing.
The lab timer went off, somewhere on the floor in Anna’s room. Hibs cursed and rolled out of bed, where he’d almost fallen asleep next to her. Where was the bloody thing? He groped around on the floor.
Anna turned the light on. ‘What’s that noise?’ she said, blearily.
Hibs found the offending timer and turned it off. ‘I’ve got to go back to the lab to do my next reading.’ He gathered his clothes and started getting dressed.
‘Do you have to?’ She was leaning on her side, naked and dishevelled.
Hibs pulled on his T-shirt. ‘’Fraid so. Science is a cruel mistress.’ He had to drop to the floor and search for a sock. ‘Gotcha.’ His hair was loose about his shoulders. He pulled it back. ‘Where did my hairband go?’
Anna shrugged, dislodging the duvet so it fell to her waist. ‘I’d offer to lend you one of mine, but I don’t use them.’
Hibs smiled and ran his fingertips through her short spiky hair. She wound a strand of his hair in her fingers. ‘It suits you that way,’ she said. She pulled him down to her and kissed him. ‘You can take my keys and let yourself back in, if you like.’
Hibs hesitated. He wasn’t sure he wanted to get that far into a relationship with Anna. He liked her. She was fun and adventurous in bed. But, well, he didn’t want to be stuck with her.
‘I’ll see you later.’ He slid off the bed and went to the door.
‘Science isn’t your mistress,’ Anna said.
Hibs paused, his hand on the door handle. ‘Pardon?’
‘Science isn’t your mistress,’ Anna repeated. ‘It’s your wife. I’m your mistress. Me and all the other girls who flit through your life.’
Oh shit. Despite her assurances that this was just a hook up, Anna seemed to think there was more to their relationship than that. Hibs retraced a couple of steps until he could see her face.
But she didn’t seem upset. In fact, she smiled at him. ‘Don’t worry,’ she said. ‘I get it. You don’t do relationships because it gets in the way of work. Much more fun to have the odd shag and switch it off when you need to get back to the lab.’
He stared. She did get it. Sort of. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Nothing to be sorry about.’ Anna pulled the duvet up. ‘You’re still welcome to come back,’ she said. ‘But there’s no need to commit either way.’
He grinned back. ‘Just the way I like it.’
He took the keys.
Chapter Twelve
‘We’re heading off to the pub; you coming?’ Hibs asked as he pulled on his faded denim jacket.
Beth looked at her computer screen and pulled a face. ‘I can’t.’
‘Why not? You haven’t got to take another reading for … what? Three hours?’
‘I’m running a gel.’
‘Like that’s an excuse,’ said Vik. ‘Come on, Beth. It’s Friday.’ He leaned in closer. ‘And I don’t want to be a gooseberry while the barmaid flirts with Hibs. You know he’ll only encourage her, even though he has a girlfriend.’
‘She’s not my girlfriend,’ said Hibs.
‘You’re sleeping with her; you’re with her when you’re not at work. She’s your girlfriend,’ Vik said.
Beth stayed out of the conversation. It had been a few weeks now and the idea of Hibs being with Anna still brought with it a stab of resentment. She knew she had no reason to feel awkward about it, but she still did.
‘Whatever,’ Hibs said. ‘So, Beth, will we be seeing you or not?’
‘I told Gordon I’d be working …’ She was tempted: she had yet to see Hibs and Anna together and felt almost compelled to find out more. It was like the need to pick a scab. She knew it would hurt, but she really couldn’t stop herself.
‘But you are working. You’ll be taking your timer to the pub,’ said Vik.
He was right. And she could turn the current down on the gel so that it ran slower. She was working, even if she took a short break to go to the pub. Gordon need never know.
‘Oh what the hell,’ she said. ‘I’ll just go turn the gel down.’
The guys waited for
her and they all walked to the pub together, Beth in the middle. It felt natural to walk in between these two men, chatting about nothing in particular. Part way there, Hibs removed the rubber band that had been holding his hair back. His hair flowed thick and black onto his shoulders. ‘Yeuch,’ he said, looking at the twisted piece of rubber. ‘I hate these things.’
Beth giggled. ‘I’m so going to buy you a set of Barbie hairbands for Christmas.’ She liked to tease him about his hair. It was longer, thicker and in better condition than hers had ever been. Hair like that had no right to be on a man.
Hibs flicked his hair at her. ‘Well, my usual manly black hairband is somewhere on the floor of your housemate’s room.’
‘How are things going with Anna?’ Beth said, ignoring the churn in her stomach.
‘I quite like her, actually,’ said Hibs. ‘She’s good company. If a bit single-minded at times.’
‘Single-minded about what?’ said Vik.
‘What do you think?’
‘Oh,’ Vik said. ‘That’s good, right?’
Hibs nodded. ‘Oh yes. Although, when we’re not busy doing it, Anna and I get on rather well. Which is a bit of first for me.’ He paused. ‘Apart from Winn, anyway.’
Beth dug her hands into her pockets and trudged along in silence. So Hibs was considering taking on a steady girlfriend after years of playing the field, and that girlfriend was her flatmate. If it worked out, she’d lose her best friend and her housemate in one go. If it all fell apart, she’d be caught in the middle.
‘So, Beth,’ Hibs said. ‘How are things with Gorgeous Gordon?’
Beth fingered her phone in her pocket. She still felt guilty about going to the pub when she’d told him she’d be working. ‘Fine.’
Hibs stopped. ‘Then why are you so worried about coming to the pub?’ He looked directly at her, challenging her to defend her relationship. How did he do that? Could he read her mind or something?
‘Because I told him I was working. I could have told him I could come out between readings and I didn’t. It was stupid of me. Okay?’ She glared back.
‘Okay,’ said Hibs. ‘Just checking.’
The pub was busy. A rugby team was taking up most of the seats near the entrance, forcing them to squeeze past loud, burly blokes to get in. Beth spotted a couple of seats in a far corner and grabbed them while the boys went to the bar.
‘I meant to ask,’ Hibs said when he returned with their drinks, ‘what’s going on with the calendar?’
‘It’s all ready to go to the printers now,’ Beth said. ‘We just need Clarissa to okay the money.’
‘Is she likely to?’
‘I hope so,’ said Beth. ‘We did an awful lot of work taking the photos and sorting out the layout. I’ll have to pummel Clarissa with her own jewellery if she doesn’t sign it off.’
Hibs laughed. ‘I’m guessing she’ll sign it off rather than risk it.’
Beth nodded.
‘So where’s Gordon?’ Vik asked, looking behind Beth to the door.
Beth jumped and looked behind her. There was no one there but the loud rugby lads. ‘He’s got swimming training.’ She turned back to her Coke. There was silence and she could almost feel Hibs and Vik exchanging glances.
After a few moments Vik said, ‘Did you see Britain’s Got Talent last night?’
‘No,’ Beth and Hibs said in unison.
They looked at each other, Beth feeling slightly embarrassed. ‘Was it good?’ she said, turning to Vik.
Vik pulled a face. ‘Well, I watched it. With my flatmates. While eating my takeaway for one.’
Beth patted his hand. ‘Poor Vik.’
‘Maybe we should put a lonely hearts ad on that website … what’s it called … the Asian dating site?’ said Hibs.
‘No thanks,’ he said. ‘My parents will do that for me when I’m done with the PhD. My aunty is busy lining up women for me to meet as it is.’ He took a long sip from his pint. ‘I don’t need a wife. I need to meet someone for now, you know.’ He looked at Hibs. ‘Like you have.’
‘He’s not a role model, you know,’ said Beth.
Her phone began to ring. ‘Oh shit,’ she said when she saw the screen. ‘It’s Gordon.’
‘So?’ said Vik.
‘He’s expecting me to be in the lab.’
They looked at the phone. It rang and rang. Eventually, it went to answerphone and Beth exhaled. She hadn’t realised she’d been holding her breath. That had been close.
‘I don’t understand,’ Hibs said. ‘You told him you were working. You are working.’ He indicated the icon that said Beth’s timer was running on her phone.
‘I told him I’d be in the lab. Not the pub. It—’ The phone started to ring – it was Gordon. Again.
‘Shit,’ Beth said, her heart starting to speed up.
‘Take it outside,’ said Hibs. ‘Tell him you were in the cold room or something.’
‘Right.’ She grabbed the phone and ran out. The rugby lads were getting into some sort of drinking competition and she had to shove her way through them.
She answered the phone, slightly out of breath. ‘Hello?’
‘It’s Gordon.’ He sounded annoyed. ‘Where were you? I’ve been trying for ages.’
‘I was … in the cold room. I left the phone on my desk but I ran to get it when I heard it.’ That should explain why she sounded breathless. Good recovery, Beth.
‘Oh, okay.’ He believed her, thank god. ‘Listen. I was calling to check that you weren’t working tomorrow.’
‘No. It’s Hibs’s turn. Why?’
‘We’re going to the opera. Don Carlos is on at the New Theatre and I’ve got us two last-minute tickets.’
Beth stared at the wall opposite. She didn’t particularly like opera. It was nice enough, but she hated having to read surtitles. And everything happened so slowly. Gordon loved it though. ‘Sure,’ she said. ‘That would be lovely.’ She could always switch off and go to sleep, so long as Gordon didn’t notice. She mentally scanned her wardrobe for something to wear. Gordon always looked smart when they went to the theatre. She’d have to dust off another nice outfit. She smiled. It had been a while since she’d got to wear anything nice. She’d been living in her lab uniform of jeans and T-shirts for the last six months.
Someone opened the door to the pub and there was a blast of noise. Beth turned away, afraid that Gordon would hear. Whoever it was was holding the door open. There was a roar from the rugby lads.
‘What’s that?’ said Gordon.
‘Er … nothing.’
The rugby lads started chanting, ‘Down it, down it, DOWN IT!’
‘Beth?’ A hard edge crept into Gordon’s voice. ‘You’re not in the lab are you?’
Beth wondered whether to say she was watching something on YouTube, but she couldn’t figure out if she’d said anything that might contradict that before. Gordon had an uncanny knack of remembering things she didn’t want him to.
‘Er … I just popped out to give something to Anna,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to get back in a couple of minutes to turn my gel—’
‘You said you were working.’
‘I am.’
‘In the pub?’ His voice was incredulous now and full of ice.
‘No. Yes. Well, no. I told you. I just popped in—’
‘I don’t like being lied to, Beth.’
‘I’m not lying.’ Her voice sounded plaintive. The pub door swung shut and the noise was muffled. ‘I just popped down to the pub to give Anna some stuff for the calendar. I’m going right back to the lab.’
‘Oh, the calendar,’ said Gordon. ‘I should have guessed. And I suppose Anna just happens to be hanging out with those guys from your lab now that Hibs is screwing her.’
�
�Gordon!’
‘For heaven’s sake, Beth. Sometimes I think you care more about those guys than you do about me!’
‘That’s not true. I love you.’ This could not be happening. She had only just got Gordon back. Okay, he was possessive, but it was only because he cared. ‘I really do.’ Her voice caught in her throat.
There was a pause. ‘Yes,’ said Gordon. ‘I’m sorry, babe. I shouldn’t have got annoyed with you. It’s just … been a hard swimming session and … look, never mind. You go back to the lab. I’ll try and swing by later, okay.’
‘Okay.’
‘I’ll see you in a bit then. Bye.’
She hung up and rushed back in, elbowing her way through the crowd by the door. ‘I’ve got to get back to the lab,’ she said, grabbing her coat. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’
‘Wait, you’re going?’ said Vik.
‘Because Gordon has decreed she must,’ said Hibs. He shook his head and wouldn’t meet Beth’s eyes. ‘See you tomorrow, Beth. Do you need someone to walk you back?’
‘No, I’ll be fine. It’s still light.’ She needed to hurry so that she was back in the lab by the time Gordon came by. ‘See you later.’ She elbowed her way out again and fled.
Back in the lab she carried on working, checking the clock from time to time. By the time she’d done her 10 p.m. reading, Gordon still hadn’t shown up. She started clearing her bench – she was a little nervous about what Gordon might say and the work was a welcome distraction. Otherwise, she’d just be pacing and fretting, which was no good to anyone.
It was nearly eleven by the time Gordon buzzed to be allowed in.
‘Babe, it’s me.’
‘Oh, right. Give me a minute, I’ll be right down.’ During the day, the doors to the department were open, but at night she had to go down to the main entrance to let him in. Rather than go all the way down and come up again, she grabbed her coat and turned the lights off in the lab.
When she got downstairs, she could see Gordon standing outside, speaking on the phone. Beth let herself through the first security door and into the glass corridor. Gordon noticed her and waved. He didn’t look too angry.
