“How was canoeing?” he asked as he shut off the television.
Tember was impressed by Jeremy’s actions. To her grandparents, television took priority over speaking or spending time with her. “It was fun.”
Without missing a beat, Gracie answered, “Oh, Dad, you would’ve died. So Tember and I played this game where we both stood on the gunnels of the canoe and tried to shake the other one off.”
“I bet she clobbered you,” Jeremy said to Tember who just nodded and smiled.
“Well, she almost clobbered me. The last set we did, Tember jumped up and put all her weight onto one side.”
“Gunnel,” Tember corrected.
“Gunnel. So the whole canoe flipped. I fell hard into the water. I look up out of the water, and guess what? She was standing, standing on the underside of the canoe with her hands on her hips.
“No way!” Jeremy said.
“Yup, like she was king of the mountain or something,” Gracie said.
Tember thought of what happened after the canoe flipped. She thought about cradling Gracie and kissing her.
“Did you have fun?” Jeremy asked Tember.
“Yeah, it was great. This is the best birthday...in like...ever.” She looked up at Gracie, and Gracie smiled.
“Well, alright! What’re we doing tonight?” Jeremy asked as he clapped his hands together and stood. “I can take you guys to dinner. Or you two can go alone.” Jeremy wiggled his eyebrows at the two of them.
“Dad!” Gracie said. “Thanks, but I’m dragging Tember to the dance tonight.”
“Okay, okay. Your old man will just sit around the fire by himself, crying,” Jeremy answered.
“Don’t forget the tissues,” Gracie answered. “Tember, come to my room. You can help me pick out what to wear tonight.”
“Door open!” Jeremy yelled.
“Whatever, Dad,” Gracie yelled back.
Gracie closed her bedroom door. Then she pulled Tember roughly toward her and quickly kissed her hard on the lips.
“What was that for?” Tember whispered.
“Why does it have to be for something?” Gracie asked.
“Why don’t you want him to know?” Tember whispered.
Gracie answered, “I just...I guess even though we’re close and everything, a girl doesn’t need to tell her dad everything. Also, he kinda set us up. I don’t want him gloating that he knows what’s best for me.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Tember said.
“If you really want to tell him, we can,” Gracie said as she grabbed the front of Tember’s shirt and kissed her on the lips again.
“No...no, he’s your dad. Your decision.” Tember caught her breath.
They hung out in Gracie’s room as Gracie tried on dresses over her bathing suit.
“How about this one?” she asked.
“You do realize that you’re asking me what dress I like for you to wear to go on a date with me, right?” Tember asked.
“Shh, not so loud,” Gracie warned.
“Listen, I want to be surprised. Anything you wear will be fine. I’m going to go back to my place and find something to wear. It won’t be a dress.”
“Whatever you wear will be fine? But it’s kind of a big deal. We’re making our lesbian debut. Is that what you consider yourself? Or are you bi? Or you don’t have to tell me.”
“Relax. I don’t know. I haven’t had much time around other people. All I know is I like you and I’m attracted to you,” Tember said. “Is it okay that I don’t know?”
“Of course. This has to be all new to you, huh?” Gracie asked.
“Yes,” Tember answered. Then she leaned forward and kissed Gracie on the lips. “I’ll pick you up at seven?”
“Sure. Wait, no let’s meet there. Then we avoid the whole dad thing,” Gracie said.
“Okay, see you then.” Tember opened the door and walked into the living room where Jeremy was still watching the game.
“She try on everything and pick nothing?” Jeremy asked.
“She did try on a lot, but I think she has some contenders,” Tember said.
“Okay, see you later,” he said.
“Later.”
As Tember walked toward her RV, she processed the day. She had been taken to breakfast, got stranded with Gracie, been locked in the RV, been rescued, kissed a girl while canoeing, and was going on her first real date with a girl. As she approached her grandparents’ RV, she remembered that she had to retrieve her tampon full of money.
She took some time to find a long stick, chew some gum, stick the gum to the end of the stick, and pull out the tampon. She opened the tampon and removed the five hundred dollars. She put it in her pocket until she could find a better place to hide it.
She went into her tent and her pillow still sat there in shreds, and she once again was reminded of her grandfather’s drunken rage. Then she heard a car pull into her site. Her grandmother was driving her grandfather’s car with her grandfather sitting in the passenger seat. Tember stood and waved. She tried to force a smile, but it would not come.
“Jenny!” her grandmother called.
“Yes?”
“Did you make dinner?”
“No,” Tember answered. She usually followed no with apologies and a quick scurrying to fix what was wrong, but today she was in no mood for her grandparents. She was ready to leave them and be done with them.
“Oh, don’t bother. We just came back to grab some things to pawn, and then we’ll be off.”
“Okay,” Tember said. She realized it was still her birthday, and neither of them had acknowledged it. This gave her the guts to ask something she normally couldn’t. “Can I borrow twenty dollars?”
“Oh, Jenny, you know we don’t have money,” her grandmother answered.
“Well, I thought with it being my eighteenth birthday...” Tember said, and her grandfather’s head shot up to Tember.
“Here, here,” her grandfather said as he handed her three bills. “Fifty bucks good?” Her grandfather held her hand in his and looked into her eyes.
Tember’s eyes welled with tears. His eyes told her that he remembered what he had done earlier.
“You’re giving her fifty! We need–” her grandmother started, but her grandfather stopped her.
“Jenny never asks for nothing. It’s her birthday. Did you get her anything? I sure as hell didn’t,” her grandfather said.
The three of them walked into the RV, and her grandmother tried to open her bedroom door.
“Why’s this locked?” she demanded. “Damn it, Jenny!”
Her grandfather’s head whipped in the direction of the bedroom door, then at Tember, and at the door again. Tember assumed he was wondering how she had escaped. She was not planning on telling him.
Her grandfather replied, “Don’t get all mad. She didn’t do this. I locked it.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” her grandmother said as she walked to the bathroom, grabbed the key out of the medicine cabinet, and unlocked the door. Tember made a mental note of the new hiding place.
Tember’s grandparents made a pile of baseball cards, antiques, jewelry, and pictures. With no regard for Tember’s plans, they put Tember in charge of finding out how much they were worth. She couldn’t help but think about how her grandparents had no idea what happened in her life today. They had no idea that she was contemplating whether she was gay or not.
Tember thought of her parents and wondered if she would’ve talk to them about her sexual orientation, giving them details of her date. She decided her parents would’ve been supportive of anything she did. That was a perk of only having a ten-year-old’s limited perspective of her parents. She could give them amazing attributes.
Her grandparents left with a paper bag full of semi-worthless treasures to pawn, and Tember was stuck trying to find something to wear. She had to settle for a clean T-shirt and a less wrinkly pair of jeans.
By the time Tember got to the dance, it was seven t
hirty. She was never late for anything. She never really had to worry about time. Being homeschooled, she never had to be on a schedule or on time for anything. Just the same, making Gracie wait didn’t sit well with her. She wondered if she was one of those girls who would be made to be kept waiting. From what she knew of Gracie, Tember figured Gracie would be easily forgiven for being late.
Tember walked up to the big field house where the dance was being held. She had already prepared herself for the disappointment that the type of music she liked wouldn’t be played. She walked into the field house and the testosterone and bad music, as well as the smell of sawdust hit her head on. Several boys, who stood against the opposite wall, looked up when she walked in. She crossed her arms, and they looked away.
She scanned the room for Gracie, hoping she was wearing the spaghetti-strapped, short gray dress. The music slowed, and individuals coupled up and swayed around the dance floor. For a small campground, there were a lot of teens there. Tember stood by the door for several minutes and then decided to walk amongst the swaying duos.
Then she saw Gracie, who was wearing the gray dress, and she was attached to a teenage boy named Donnie. Their bodies were pressed close together, and his lips were close to her neck. Tember formed a fist and started to walk up to them. She’d never punched anyone before, but Donnie was going to be her fist’s maiden voyage. Then the two turned around, and Gracie’s eyes froze on hers. Gracie whispered in Donnie’s ears, and he released her and stepped away.
Gracie started to walk toward Tember, but Tember turned and weaved through the swaying couples.
“Tember,” Gracie called. “Stop, please.”
Tember stopped but didn’t turn around. Gracie pulled on Tember’s arm to spin her around, but Tember stood her ground. Gracie moved so she was face to face with Tember.
“Really, are we playing the jealous girlfriend already?” Gracie asked.
Tember could not help but laugh and then moved her eyes to Gracie.
“I just–” Tember started.
Gracie answered, “I know you just saw me in this dress and figured you couldn’t control yourself and decided to run for the hills.”
Tember looked at Gracie from her legs up to her face and said, “Pretty much. You look amazing.”
Gracie placed her hands on Tember’s shoulders. “You don’t look half bad yourself.”
“Sorry this is the best–”
“Are you kidding, you’re so hot. You could show up here in anything, and I’d be drooling,” Gracie said.
“Really?” Tember asked. “I’m hot?”
“Sexy,” Gracie said. “I just spent the whole time listening to Donnie whine that the hottest girls on the campground are off limits. The news reached him already.”
“Oh,” Tember said.
“Everything okay? You’re late,” Gracie said.
“Oh, sorry. Yeah, long story...my crazy grandparents, but I’m all yours now,” Tember said.
“All mine.” Gracie smiled.
“Yes, well…what I mean is,” Tember said, “go easy on me. This is all new to me.”
The slow song turned into a techno nightmare that caused Tember to cringe.
“Maybe this isn’t our scene?” Gracie said. “In my head, it was more romantic.”
“Maybe not.”
Gracie took Tember’s hand and led her out of the hall. “Okay, let’s go.”
It was dusk and the sky looked pink in the distance. The two walked away from the hall, through the pool area, and to a thin trail behind it that Tember had never before noticed.
Tember looked around. “Where are we going?”
“I have no idea. I really don’t care. I just want you all to myself,” Gracie said. “Is that okay?”
“Yes.”
Tember could only focus on her hand in Gracie’s; as they walked, Gracie ran her thumb up and down the top or inside of Tember’s hand. That small movement made Tember’s breath hitch, caused her to lose her train of thought, and forced her have to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other.
They came to a clearing where a small path led to the water’s edge of a small pond. Croaking frogs and chirping crickets filled the air with their music. Gracie turned quickly to Tember and pulled her into an embrace. Tember leaned into Gracie and felt as though she could breathe again. Tember’s chest loosened, and Gracie’s embrace seemed to melt away Tember’s anxiety.
Gracie pulled away and pushed her lips into Tember’s. Luckily Tember remembered how to move her lips with Gracie’s and decided she was either dreaming or in heaven.
Gracie pulled away from the kiss and said, “See. Got you all to myself. This is much better, huh?”
“Yes,” Tember said as she leaned in and kissed Gracie again. “You feel amazing. You do something to me that I’ve never felt before.”
“Me too,” Gracie said. “I mean, you do that to me too.”
“Come on! You have to be more experienced than me,” Tember argued.
“No,” Gracie said. “I’ve never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Unless you count Jake from kindergarten. We sat on the swings together.”
“Whatever!"
The two stood there kissing, caressing, and holding each other as the frogs and crickets seemed to grow louder and louder. Tember ran her hands up and down Gracie’s bare arms and back, feeling goosebumps.
“Cold?” Tember asked.
“A little,” Gracie answered. “I don’t want tonight to end, though.”
“You could change your clothes at your place, and we could go back out,” Tember said. “I have all night.”
“Oh, all night! Wow, what a big day. You kiss a girl, and now you’re hoping to spend the night–” Gracie started.
“I didn’t mean–”
“Yeah, no worries. I know…yeah, we can go grab clothes at my campsite. I hope my Dad’s not there,” Gracie said.
The two kissed a few more times and then walked hand in hand to Gracie’s site. Her dad had left a note saying he’d gone into town to watch a baseball game with a few guys from the campground.
“Do you want to stay in and watch a movie?” Gracie asked.
Tember looked at Gracie and then to the television. “Yeah, sure.”
Gracie went and changed her clothes and came out in a T-shirt and sweats.
“I’ve decided you look good in everything,” Tember said.
“So do you,” Gracie said. “But I have to admit, I’ve been imagining what you’d look like wearing nothing.”
Tember’s eyes shot to Gracie’s; Gracie just smiled, looking at Tember longingly.
“Don’t worry. I’ll try to keep my teenage hormones in check. But–”
“What?” Tember asked. The way Gracie leered at Tember made her nervous.
“I have a TV in my room. It’d be more comfortable on the bed, but if you’d rather, or if you were more comfortable...” Gracie stumbled on her words.
Tember answered, “Okay.”
Gracie closed her bedroom door. They took little time choosing the movie. Tember grabbed a pillow at the head of the bed and lay on her stomach with her head at the foot of the bed. Gracie grabbed a pillow and lay next to Tember.
Energy and heat surged between the two inches that separated them. Tember worked hard to control her breathing; her heart raced and she couldn’t control it. She felt as if she was going to explode. She wanted Gracie to touch her, to hold her, to kiss her. She kept her eyes trained on the screen as if it was the first time she’d seen moving pictures.
Gracie slid closer to Tember so that the sides of their torsos touched. Tember thought she could feel Gracie’s heartbeat through her shoulders and wondered if it was her own heart pounding to get out of her chest.
Gracie turned on her side and ran her fingers down Tember’s cheek. Tember inhaled swiftly and then stiffened. Gracie moved her lips toward Tember’s neck and kissed tenderly at first and then harder. Tember closed her eyes and refused to move. All her wor
ld was focused on Gracie’s soft, wet lips tracing their way up and down her neck. Then there was a low moan. It took Tember by surprise that it actually came from her.
“You like?” Gracie asked.
Tember could only nod and turn her body to face Gracie. The two locked eyes when Gracie ran her hand down Tember’s face again.
“So freakin’ beautiful,” Gracie said.
“Not really.”
“Yes, really.” Gracie pressed her lips onto Tember’s.
Gracie’s kiss was harder, more passionate than the kisses they had shared earlier. Tember opened her lips, and Gracie pushed her tongue into Tember’s mouth. Gracie was rewarded by warmth and sweetness, as well as another moan from Tember.
“When my dad comes back, you better control your volume,” Gracie warned.
“Was I that loud?” Tember asked, and Gracie shook her head as she slid her hand down Tember’s torso.
Goosebumps ran the length of Tember’s body. Her mind raced harder than her heart. She suddenly realized the answer to why there were so many unwanted pregnancies, why the 70s and free love must have been a blast. She realized she could never be so alone again after Gracie.
Gracie pushed Tember onto her back and slid on top of her. Gracie used her arms to prop herself above Tember. She smiled as she looked from Tember’s lips to her eyes and back to her lips again. She bent her arms, putting all her weight on Tember as she pressed her lips against Tember’s. Gracie pushed her hips into Tember’s. Tember felt a wetness form between her legs. Gracie’s hand roamed down Tember’s torso and her fingers found the flesh of Tember’s stomach.
Tember grabbed Gracie’s hand and said, “No, I don’t...I mean, not yet.”
Gracie nodded and smiled, continuing to kiss her. The movie ended, and Jeremy still hadn’t returned to the RV. The two made their way under the sheets and fell asleep in each other’s arms.
13
Tember woke and found Gracie still sleeping soundly in her arms. Gracie’s arm was around Tember’s torso, draped onto Tember’s bare skin. Gracie’s leg lay across Tember’s legs. It felt comforting and natural, as though Tember had awakened like this her entire life.
Since Tember and Gracie had kissed, a new urge had been unleashed in Tember. Although she had nothing to compare the desire to, the feeling was something that she wanted to feel every day. The feeling was so overwhelmingly strong that Tember was sure—now that she had felt it—she could not do without. Tember wondered if this was how addicts felt when they were jonesin’ for their next hit. Or if this was how vampires felt when they had their first taste of blood.
Hope & a Canoe Page 7
