by Danni Roan
“She’s pretty nice to look at.”
“So, what’s the problem.?”
“To begin with she’s the boss,” Chase said, running a rough hand along his jaw. “She’s big city, I’m country.”
“Uh huh.” Kade let his friend talk.
“We’re not right for each other.” Chase sipped his coffee, growing quiet as the room grew still.
It must have been a full two minutes later before Kade spoke. “You ever think that things happen for a reason?”
“Pretty much,” Chase agreed.
“Chase, you’ve been a bronc rider for a while, you know that eight seconds can seem like an eternity, right?”
“Yah,” Chase agreed again, uncertain where his friend’s train of thought was going.
“Does it feel like your eight seconds is up now?”
A slow grin spread across Chase’s handsome face. “You don’t say much Kade, but you always seem to know the right thing when the time comes.”
He pushed his chair away from the table. “Guess we’d better go get some of Mrs. Wade’s breakfast.”
Kade’s chair creaked as he pushed it away from the table. He was glad the furniture in his family home had been built for oversized galoots like himself.
“Cinnamon rolls,” Chase commented, quickstepping it up the stairs of the house and into the kitchen a few moments later. “I can smell ‘em from here.”
“Take this to your cousin,” Mrs. Wade demanded, handing Kade a tray with coffee, bacon, eggs, and a hot cinnamon roll dripping with butter and frosting. “She didn’t come out for supper last night. I’m sure she’s hungry by now.”
“Yes ma’am,” Kade said, simply grasping the handles of the tray and turning down the hall.
***
Phil groaned at the knock on the door, but rose and pulled the handle anyway. “Kade?” she started, then waved him in, taking the oversized mug of coffee in both hands.
“Mrs. Wade?” Phil nodded at the tray, taking her first sip of coffee, her eyes closing in ecstasy.
Kade shifted, setting the tray on the desk top with care, and scooped Fred up as the cat pawed at his boots.
“Can you stay a minute?” she asked, lifting her eyes over the rim of her mug.
Kade settled carefully onto the stool, still scratching the cat under his chin.
Reaching for the cinnamon roll, Phil ordered her thoughts.
“You mind?” Kade asked tipping his head toward the plate of bacon and eggs.
“Go ahead,” Phil smiled, watching him lift a fork and begin eating.
“I don’t get it, Kade,” she finally said, finishing a bit of the gooey pastry. “I’ve been reading through these letters and even with the trials and troubles the family faced they seemed to, to…” she shrugged, “find some inner peace.”
Kade smiled, letting his cousin talk, and crunched on perfectly crisped bacon.
“It’s like they had some secret, some special source of strength.” She peeled off another coil of sweet bread. “Do you think it had something to do with all those old-fashioned notions?”
She nibbled her breakfast, her brows puckered. “Maybe, they had more energy or will-power or something because they were repressed.”
A hearty chuckle rumbled from Kade’s chest. “You do realize that my great-grandparents had six children,” he said, still smiling.
“Then what, Kade?” Phil asked, clutching her mug with both hands.
“Maybe they just understood their purpose,” the big man said, standing.
“What purpose?” Phil asked, frustration in her voice.
Kade shrugged his massive shoulders. “Sometimes the trail’s not clear Phil; you simply have to go on faith.”
“You really believe that, don’t you?” Phil looked up, studying her cousin.
“Phil, you have to find your own way,” Kade said gently. “I don’t think any of our forbearers knew what they would do in the face of adversity and challenge. They just lived each day with a heart full of love.”
“You’re right, Kade. I have a ranch to run, well a business anyway. I’ll worry about what I know and let everything else fall in to place.”
“A little prayer never hurt, either,” Kade cast back over his shoulder as he placed Fred on the floor and exited the room.
Finishing her coffee in one gulp, Philomena stepped back into her bedroom, diving into the shower to scrub the cobwebs from her head.
Kade had given her much to think about. Did the man really pray? She smiled, pulling on jeans and a comfortable T-shirt, and headed to the barn.
“Hi Randall,” Phil said, startling the young man leading a horse toward the hitching rail.
“Morning, Miss Allen.”
“Are you using Amy today?” Phil asked, polite but to the point.
“No ma’am, you want me to saddle her for you?”
“No thank you, but I’d like to take her out.”
“I’ve got this, Randall,” Chase poked his head from a stall, pitchfork in his hand. “Let me settle Butch first and I’ll get Amy ready.”
“Do I get the special saddle again?” Phil asked, moving toward the open door.
Chase smiled at Phil, leaning on his fork. “You going out by yourself?”
“Depends, you think your boss would let you have a slow day at the ranch off?”
“Maybe if I ask nice.”
Something in Phil’s chest fluttered as the wrangler grinned under his hat. “I’ll tell Kade,” she offered, turning on her heel and disappearing from the barn.
***
The fresh air and sunshine seemed to lift Phil’s spirits as Amy fairly skimmed over the prairie.
The wide-open spaces were like a balm to her soul, the warm fingers of the sun caressing her cheeks, picking out the crimson hues in her hair.
“Chase, can I ask you a question?” She finally spoke, pulling rein and letting the cowboy catch up.
“Anything.” With the answer, Chase realized just how far gone he was for the woman.
“You really believe in God?”
Chase pulled his gelding up next to Phil, admiring the way she sat on the crazy purple seat.
“Yes,” he answered simply, running his hand over Amy’s mane.
“Why?”
The question ripped straight to his heart and he silently prayed the right words would come.
“Growing up the ranch was everything to me,” he began. “I was a happy kid, my mother…” he hesitated a moment, his eyes downcast, “my mother was a remarkable woman. She had a heart bigger than the Wyoming sky.”
Phil could hear the sorrow creeping into his voice and laid a hand over his.
“She always thought my father would change; call it faith.”
“Your mother believed as well.”
“She did, even when she was diagnosed with cancer.” His soft chuckle startled Phil and she looked up into deep blue eyes. “Without that woman’s prayers, I’m not sure I would have survived growing up.”
“That bad?” Phil smiled, feeling the warmth of his hands to her core.
“I was rambunctious, always into what I shouldn’t be. Mom was always patching me up. After she died, my dad’s gambling got completely out of control. We had good stock, a solid future breeding reining, working, and racing quarter horses, but it wasn’t enough for my old man.”
“So you believe in God because your mother believed?”
“No.” Chase shook his head once. “I believe because when I was at my lowest, He reached me. He sent someone who could love me right where I was. I wasn’t very lovable.” He looked up from under his hat, sorrow and shame mingled on his face.
“I can’t believe you were ever terrible.” Phil’s comment was kind.
“I was angry, proud, arrogant. I hit the rodeo circuit like a hurricane determined to keep my grandfather’s legacy alive. I was good,” he commented flatly. “It went to my head.”
“I see.”
On impulse, Chase reached
out and stroked his thumb down Philomena’s cheek. “No, you don’t.” His half smile was sad. “When I finally did, when my eyes were opened, I found a peace that was incomprehensible.”
“That’s why you’ve held it together with all this business about your father and Butch.” Phil’s statement was half question.
“I’m not saying I get it all right,” Chase said, cupping her face gently. “I just remind myself every day to believe.”
Phil leaned into Chase’s hand for a moment, enjoying the warmth, the strength.
“We’d better get back,” Chase said. “I’ve got a drive after lunch.”
“Thank you, Chase,” Phil said simply, turning Amy toward home.
Chapter 17
“It can’t be that simple, Fred,” Phil said, pacing her room that afternoon. The yellow and white cat stretched, exposing his belly where he lounged on the bed.
“There has to be an answer.”
“Miss Allen,” Mrs. Wade’s voice called from the hallway.
“Yes.” Phil welcomed the distraction.
“We have three new guests arriving tonight. I was wondering if you could have a look at the rooms to make sure everything’s ready. I’ve got meatballs simmering and don’t want to leave them too long.”
“Sure thing,” Phil answered, heading up the stairs.
She loved the old house; trying to keep the original feel and atmosphere of what it must have once been had been part of the thrill and challenge of bringing the place back to life.
At the top of the stairs she turned and moved through the first open door to her left. The room looked as if it had always been exactly like it was now, but she knew that only a short time ago it had been transformed.
Peeling wallpaper and dust-ridden carpet had been removed to pull back layers of modern, to the heart of an elegant past as bright sunlight spilled through the large window, splashing on the polished wood floor and blues of a replicated paper print.
The original furniture that could be saved had been refurbished and polished to an amber glow - beautifully hand-crafted beds, chairs, bureaus and more.
A little thrill rolled through Phil at the transformation, and she wondered what her ancestors would have made of the space.
Of course, the addition of discreetly hidden heating and air conditioning ducts added to the modern touch, as did the small shower and bath area tucked in a corner of the large room. Smoothing the blue and white checker board quilt over the bed, Phil smiled, seeing that everything was in order.
She was about to leave and move to the next room when her eyes fell on the small bed table drawer that stood partially open. Reaching to push the drawer the rest of the way closed, she spotted the small black book and reached in to remove it. The Bible was small, its black leather frayed and worn.
With an easy flick of her wrist Phil opened the book and scanned the page, her eyes roving over the delicate words.
Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17
A strange desire to laugh filled her chest and she smiled at the words. She’d just been thinking of how she’d rescued the Broken J, restoring it to a new life, a new purpose, while staying true to the essence of the ranch.
Plunking down on the bed she read the words again, a gentle truth filtering through her brain. The words suddenly held a deep meaning, a truth that filled her with wonder and joy.
Just like the ranch she could be made new, restored to the pristine beauty of a child of God. “I don’t know how to do this,” she said, a hitch in her voice. “I’ve never even been to church.”
Phil felt silly speaking to the empty room, but she realized that she wasn’t truly alone.
“God, I don’t know anything about this Christian stuff, all I know is that I want to be made new. I want to have the peace that Kade and Chase have.”
For a few moments, she sat there feeling different and yet the same as she always had. Tucking the Bible into her pocket, she stood and moved on to check the other rooms.
***
Chase doused his head in the big rain barrel at the edge of the old blacksmith’s hut, feeling the cool water run down his back and making him shiver.
His mind was still on Philomena. Her name alone made him smile. The woman did crazy things to his head, not to mention his body.
Taking a deep breath, he finally admitted how much he’d grown to care about her. Even though she was all big city confidence and efficiency, she seemed vulnerable, even when she was all independent.
How had he ever allowed himself to get tangled up with a woman like Phil? “Tangled,” he scoffed. “I think it’s gone further than that.”
Shaking the water from his head, he ambled to the corral. He’d need a fresh horse for the mock round up they’d scheduled for the new crop of guests and he might as well choose one now.
In the back pasture, several horses grazed contentedly on the summer grass.
“Lord, I don’t know what you have planned. I don’t even know if you’ll let me keep my stock, but one thing I know is that you have always, only, ever, wanted good for me.”
Turning, he made his way back to the barn to saddle a horse and dude up.
“You’re looking right smart,” Kade jibed as he harnessed his big team in the center of the barn a few minutes later, running his eyes over Chase’s get up.
“Philomena said to dress for the cattle drive,” Chase commented, leading his rangy roan, Romeo, into the aisle and settling a blanket on his back. “You headed out early?”
“Yes, I’ll be out in the lead with the wagon train while you and Randall bring the guests along. I’ve got some of the students from Tipton High along to help, but they’ll just be keeping the cattle headed in the right direction.”
“It’s worked pretty well so far. The kids like the extra money for doing what they do at home for free, and it keeps the guests out of trouble.”
“With the dust these mock drives kick up, the students aren’t much more than an outline in the haze, anyway.”
“What’s in the chuck wagon anyway?”
Kade laughed. “Just a few snacks and drinks. Everything else will be out at the camp site. I don’t think the James crew ever ate as well on a drive as these folks do, but so far this has been a big draw for folks wanting to play cowboy. Even had a couple of townies sign up for it.”
The big man fastened the last buckle and drew the traces up to the back straps of the harness, then picked up the lines. “Stay out of trouble,” he called over his shoulder. “I’ll see you at supper.”
Chase climbed aboard Romeo, his best roping horse, and aimed the guests toward the trail leading to where several dozen head of cattle had been grouped. This was the third drive and the cattle seemed to have adjusted to the idea of being moved about the ranch randomly.
The bronc rider listened to the excited chatter of the guests as men, women and children rode along on well-trained mounts.
The sound of galloping feet surprised him and he turned to see Phil riding toward him on Amy, the garish purple breast band and bridle a jarring contrast to the old-fashioned feel of the drive.
“You’re kind of out costume,” Chase teased as she pulled Amy up next to him.
“I couldn’t help it. This crazy outfit is just too purple to waste.” She smiled, her violet eyes bright with cheer.
“I’m surprised to see you out tonight. Are we short a rider?”
“No, I just wanted to be out in the open.” She smiled softly, her eyes full of some light he didn’t quite recognize.
Lord, Chase’s heart sang out in silence, I don’t know exactly when, but somewhere along the way, I’ve fallen for this pretty city girl. I pray you’ll help me find wisdom in dealing with her in all things.
“You’re quiet,” Phil said, looking out over the meandering group.
“Keeping my eyes open,” Chase replied, looking at her fully. He was surprised by the
light blush that graced her cheeks.
“Sometimes it’s fun to pretend I’m back at the beginning, back when the Broken J was new, but I’m not sure I can truly understand what that was like.” She looked at him, taking in the strong lines of his face, the rough stubble of a two-day’s growth of beard and his piercing blue eyes.
“Time moves on,” Chase commented, waiting to see what else she had to say.
“Sometimes I think about how much easier our lives are now, but that some things must have been easier back then.”
“How so?”
“Too many of us seem to have lost our connection to the land. We’ve forgotten how to survive.”
“Not everyone,” Chase commented. “Those of us out here,” he gestured at the open air, “who make our living off the land are still independent. We have to be; we don’t have the luxury of waiting for someone else to work out our problems, or rescue us from danger.”
They rode on together for a while, listening to the guests chatter as they approached the cattle that were grazing lazily in a long valley.
“I still wouldn’t want to go back,” Phil finally spoke as they came to a stop, letting Randall explain what each guest should do. In the background, she could see the hired riders sitting easy in the saddle, keeping the cows in line.
“You missing the big city?”
“No, not at all.” Phil lifted her face to the bright sky. “I love it out here. I love the way we’ve given new life to this old ranch.”
Chase studied her face, waiting to see what else she had to say.
“Do you think it was easier to have faith back then?” Her words caught him by surprise.
“I think people have always been the same. Same weaknesses, same desires, same problems.”
“But they can be changed,” Phil commented quietly.
The herd started moving, the guests spreading out under watchful eyes.
Chase shrugged, ambling along the line of cattle at the head of the herd, leading them in the direction of the chuck wagon camp.
“I’m not sure I can put these things into words,” Phil said, stroking Amy’s neck. The horse seemed like such a special friend already. “I think I’m starting to understand about true restoration.”
