“Greg was great,” Lucy said wistfully. “But I hate him.”
“Me too.” I laughed before pausing to think. “He was one of the closest friends I’ve ever had,” I said seriously. I realized then how much I missed him. After five years, I still considered him a close friend. I hadn’t been allowed to grieve his abrupt departure, since I had wanted to be strong for Gretchen.
“There was always something about him though,” Lucy continued, as if she hadn’t heard me. “Sometimes I felt like he was living behind a glass wall, like I could see him and he could see me, but I couldn’t quite touch him. Sometimes I wonder how I ever fit in with you two.”
“Lucy,” I laughed, wiping my hands on a napkin. “What do you mean? I never heard you say that about him.”
“Well we weren’t really supposed to talk about him after. I just think you guys were similar, which is why you got along so well. And Gretchen and I aren’t necessarily alike, but I’m surprised by how close we’ve become.” I nodded in agreement. Even though I’d introduced them, I sometimes envied their relationship. Their connection had developed quickly, and I’d often thought that they’d have found each other regardless. “And Andrew, well,” she smiled. “He’d get along with just about anyone, so I’m not surprised that he fits so well into the group. I’m just thankful I snagged him before anyone else did.”
“He’s a good one,” I nodded. “But you guys were meant for each other.”
“Do you really think so?”
“Without a doubt.”
“Do you feel that way about Bill?” she asked suddenly.
I stopped chewing before swallowing with a gulp. “Of course I do, Luce. But, you tell me. Where does poor Bill fit into all this?” I teased.
“Bill? Well, he’s . . .” Her face became still as she thought. “He and Andrew are becoming close, which I’m so happy about. It’s a dream come true that we found guys who get along so well. And he loves you so much.”
I wasn’t quite sure what she meant by that. She was being sincere, but it felt like a cop out answer compared to what she’d just said about everyone else.
“Are you guys excited for our fishing expedition?” I asked, pretending to cast a line.
“Oh my gosh, you’re a nerd. Andrew is over the moon.” Just then, her phone chimed. “And that would be him,” she said, pulling it out. “‘Gonna catch you a big one tomorrow,’” she read aloud. We burst into laughter. “Did I mention that he’s excited?”
“That’s sweet,” I said with a big smile. “Should we invite Gretch? Do you think she’d come this year?”
“We can try.” She balled up her trash and tossed it on the tray.
~
I stood with my arms planed, trying not to laugh as the seamstress pulled at the armhole. “It tickles,” I whined to Gretchen as she watched.
“I told you.”
“So I guess I can’t wear a bra with this,” I observed, looking over my shoulder at the back, or lack thereof.
“Don’t move,” the seamstress ordered.
“Nope,” Lucy said. “But don’t worry, neither of you need the support. I wouldn’t have chosen this style otherwise.” In the mirror, I admired the rich Bordeaux color against my fair skin. The dress was floor-length silk jersey and fitted, but not tight. The neckline, held by razor-thin straps, dipped slightly lower than I was comfortable with, forming a ‘V’ between my breasts. “You can wear those chicken cutlet things if you want,” she added.
“That feels a little snug,” I said, grimacing. The woman blinked up at me briefly and continued working, ignoring my complaint.
“I’m on a strict diet until the wedding,” Gretchen said. “I do not want to look like a porker in the photos.”
“Oh, you’re going to look great,” Lucy reassured her. “You guys look even better in red than I thought. I’m a genius.”
“Well, I should hope so, you do this for a living,” Gretchen pointed out. “What about your dress?”
“No luck yet. Still looking. I’ve always known the colors I wanted to use, so your dresses were easy.”
“We need to have a dress-hunting party,” I offered. “Bring some magazines this weekend.”
“What’s this weekend?”
“Fishing,” we said in unison.
“Do you want to come?” I asked. “Lucy and I are going to stock up on Pinot Grigio and review bridal magazines by the fire while our men forage.”
“No thanks. I have plans. Have fun though,” she said, making a face.
“Well, you’re just jealous that we’ll be in flannel pajamas while you’re running around in four-inch heels. Never mind,” I said, giving up. “You win.”
“Finished,” the seamstress said. “Go change.”
I slipped out of the dress and checked the tag before handing it to her from the fitting room. I decided that Bill wouldn’t need to know about the expense until he figured it out on his own. Anyway, there was no getting around it.
Lucy and I said good-bye to Gretchen and walked the quarter mile back to work. Having her office across the street from mine made daily life a little better.
“Oh, I have the car today. Do you want a ride home?” I asked.
“How come?”
“Bill had to leave the city for a case this morning, so he carpooled with a colleague. How ‘bout it?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”
“K, text me when you’re done for the day.”
~
“So, my crown just fell out,” Lucy said as soon as I entered her office. I’d decided to leave work a few minutes early and was hoping to convince her to do the same. She indicated to her mouth. “I think it was the apple. That’s what I get for trying to be healthy.”
“Ouch,” I scrunched up my nose and looked away. I’d prided myself on having as little dental work done on my mouth as possible, due to routine flossing and brushing. My father had scared me into it as a kid, forcing the doctor to show me detailed photos of dental procedures.
“I called the dentist, and he can see me right now, it shouldn’t take more than an hour to fix. I’m sorry, go home and I’ll just see you tonight.” The phone rang shrilly, causing us both to jump. “I hate that thing,” she muttered.
“I’ll give you a ride to the dentist.”
She looked at the phone, which continued to ring. “What time is it? Geez, nobody wants to stay a minute after five.”
“Oh, can I be your receptionist?” I asked, but I was already leaning over to answer the phone. I blanked suddenly, forgetting the name of the company. “Personal styling department,” I said, grimacing as Lucy laughed.
“Olivia?”
I froze. “Yes?”
“It’s David. Dylan.”
Surprised, I lowered myself onto the edge of the desk. “Oh, hello, David. How did you know it was me?”
“With a voice like that?” He scoffed. I was immediately transplanted back to middle school, where my throatiness had been frequently mocked.
“What can I do for you?” I asked, clearing my throat. How many times had I asked him that? I wondered idly what he could do for me.
“Actually, I was looking for Lucy.”
“Right, of course.”
I made to pass the phone but he continued. “I have a bit of a situation on my hands.”
“Go on,” I said, shrugging at Lucy.
Who is it? she mouthed at me.
David Dylan, I mouthed back. She paused a second before continuing to pack up her purse.
“Something came up this evening. I’ve been invited to a black tie gala at the Museum of Contemporary Art and it’s, well, soon. My only tuxedo is in my New York apartment. I need to know if Lucy can find me one fast, and I’ll pick it up on my way.”
“Oh,” I said. “Hang on.” I hit the hold button and repeated what he’d just told me.
“Shit,” she said, catching me off guard. Hearing Lucy curse was like seeing a fish on land, it was just fundamentally wrong
. “My boss would kill me,” she said to herself.
“Why? Where would you even get a tuxedo right now?”
“Well, what is he, six-foot-three? Four? We have something that one of the Bears wore to an event recently, he was about David’s build. Not perfect but it could work in a pinch. I guess I can go to the dentist on Monday.”
“Well,” I started, “maybe I can help.”
Her eyes drifted up to the ceiling as she thought. “You could. That would be so awesome, but you don’t have to. I can set everything up quickly and go to the appointment – all you’d have to do is wait here, give him the suit and lock up.”
“I can do that,” I said. “We probably won’t leave for the cabin ‘til eight or nine anyway.”
“Here, give me the phone,” she said, taking it from my hands. “David? It’s Lucy. Listen, I have an emergency dental appointment . . . No, no, it’s fine, but I think I have something here that could work. Liv says she will wait for you if you want to swing by on the way.” She paused and I held my breath. “Great. Sounds good.” She looked at me. “She’ll see you in half an hour.”
I knew I should be disappointed about the delay, but instead I just felt anxious. The way my stomach knotted up and my nerves hummed, I was forced to recognize that a friendship with David just might not be possible. Whatever had been planted inside me the night at the theater was fast blossoming.
“Oh crap,” she muttered. “I don’t have dress shoes or a shirt in his size.”
“Just get out of here,” I said, a plan forming in my mind. “I’ll take care of it.”
“Liv, you don’t understand. David is a huge client. I can’t mess this up.”
“K look, it’s no big deal. I can call Jack, the bartender from your party, remember? He’s our gopher when we need stuff at the office, and he’s almost always available.”
“There’s a Men’s Wearhouse in this neighborhood,” she said. “I know because Andrew has an appointment there next week.”
“Perfect. Call in the order on your way, and I’ll have him pick it up while I wait for David.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” she said, squeezing me in a tight hug. She ran out of the office and then back in with the tuxedo. “Everything else is in this bag. Call me if there are any problems, I have to go or the dentist will leave.”
“Go,” I urged.
Jack picked up on the first ring and was ready to help. Over the years he’d become one of the few people who made my life easier instead of harder. As I waited for him, I drank almost an entire water bottle in one gulp, used the restroom, and then drank another one. My nerves continued to hum.
“You are the best,” I said when Jack arrived thirty minutes later.
“You said that on the phone already,” he replied, blushing faintly.
“I can’t believe I caught you. Hope you didn’t have plans.” He opened his mouth but I didn’t wait for his answer. “By the way, thank you for bartending Lucy’s party. You were a hit. Score any digits?”
“Of course. Nobody good though.” His eyes crinkled with a mega-watt smile.
“I know, silly question,” I said as I unpacked the bag. “This is nice,” I said, admiring the shirt.
“Um,” he started just as the elevator sounded.
“That’s probably the client,” I said. “Thanks again, Jack. I’ll pay you for the extra hour.”
“Don’t worry about it, Livs. Consider it a favor. Er, some of us are headed to Navy Pier for a drink later. You should come.”
“Ah, I don’t think so. Bill and I are going north this weekend.” Just then, David’s impressive figure rounded the doorway.
“Too bad,” he said, turning and almost running into David. Jack, with his slick blond hair and hard body, was a hot topic at the office. They were comically matching in light jeans and half-zip pullovers, but Jack paled in comparison to David.
“Jack, this is Mr. Dylan. Jack was kind enough to personally deliver some things for your event tonight.”
“Nice to meet you,” David said indifferently with a quick handshake.
Jack turned back to me. “Maybe next time Liv?” he said with a hint of hopefulness. “You have my number if anything changes.”
Once we were alone, I shut the door and turned my attention to David. “So, here we are again. I’m going to ask Lucy to start paying me.”
“He likes you,” David stated.
“Oh, pfft,” I waved my hand dismissively. “He doesn’t. I’m not even sure he’s straight,” I added, knowing that he definitely was.
“He is straight, and he’s into you.”
“And you can tell that after thirty seconds?”
“He was flirting with you at Lucy’s party.”
My smile melted down my face. Jack’s and my only interaction at the party had been right before I’d spilled my drink. I thought of those chestnut browns on me, watching, observing.
“Yes, I saw you,” he said, reading my expression. “I followed you into the kitchen to find out your name, which I did, and ask you out, which I did not.”
“Oh,” I said, involuntarily touching my heart. His candor always sent it aflutter, and I was clinging to the small hints he kept dropping.
“In any case, he likes you.”
“Well, he’s headed for disappointment then,” I said, wiggling my left hand. I wasn’t sure if I’d meant the reminder for him or for myself. “Here.” I handed him the shirt and ended the conversation before it could go anywhere. “The tuxedo’s in there,” I said sternly. “We do not take sartorial emergencies lightly.”
As he changed, I smoothed my hair and quelled my stirring libido. I fought with myself, battling thoughts and reactions that were sinful, but that also felt out of my control.
He came out soon after, buttoning up the shirt. Each button swallowed up a little bit of dark, curly chest hair. His hair was black marble, styled in its sophisticated, slight ripple. My breath caught as he walked over to the mirror and slipped into the shoes I had placed on the floor. Men look infinitely more handsome in a tuxedo, I thought wistfully.
“These are too small.”
I pulled out the shoebox and flipped it around. “Yep. Size fourteen. Guess she couldn’t quite get that half, so you’ll have to make it work.”
“Where did Lucy find all this on such short notice?” he asked.
“Our secret.”
“Great,” he said to himself. “I’m impressed.”
I walked over and handed him the jacket, taking his wrist in my hand as I inserted the cufflinks. I stealthily admired his watch, a thick silver Rolex with a large black dial. “The tux is on loan for tonight,” I said.
“Can’t I just buy it?
“No, it belongs to someone else.”
“I doubt he’d miss it,” David said. When I looked up, he had a half smile on his freshly-shaven face.
“I’m sure he would. A lot.” I wrinkled my nose at him. It was becoming hard to ignore the palpable heat that was building between us. His stare followed when I moved to the left cuff, but I willed my eyes downward. A deep breath filled my nostrils with his spicy aftershave. I returned to the bag Lucy had left and held out the bow tie. He draped it around his neck, furrowing his brow as he applied singular focus to the task.
“Here, let me,” I said softly, slipping between him and the mirror. The spicy scent, now mixed with something fresh, something from a recent shower, intensified as I leaned in. Reaching up, I deftly molded the fabric into a neat bow. Aside from our wedding day, I’d never seen Bill in a tux, but I’d fixed my dad’s bowties when I was younger, and the motions were automatic. The memory of my mom and dad going out one evening made me smile. My mother wore a floor-length, black beaded dress that she had called ‘fancy,’ and Chanel No. 5 clouded their tiny bathroom.
As I pulled the bow taut, my fingers stilled and lingered; I could no longer avoid his penetrating gaze. I watched the rise and fall of his chest until my eyes traveled up his exposed neck. His
Adam’s apple jumped as he swallowed. The ends of his hair looked damp. Creases around his lax mouth remained, though his smile did not. Finally, our eyes locked.
In one slow, measured movement, he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. His other hand rose and raked through my hair, tilting my mouth upward. Instinctively, I pulled away as he closed the space between us, but his hold was firm. My eyes unwittingly fluttered shut as his lips touched mine, testing the new territory. Warmth pulsed through me with the rise and fall of my chest, reacting to the disparateness of his purposeful but tender touch. My mouth parted imperceptibly and he answered with a harder kiss, opening me with his lips. An ache blossomed between my legs, responding to the hot breath and heady taste of another man.
Without direction, my body molded to his, and my mouth gave way. He cupped my face and backed me against the mirror as the kiss became needier. His hands moved down my neck, over my collarbone and covered my shoulders, where he pressed me into the glass. That ache grew painfully, eager for satisfaction. I yearned to reach up and touch him but his unyielding grasp immobilized me.
An impassioned moan escaped my lips, and he tore away, leaving me gasping for air. He released my shoulders abruptly and stepped back.
“What are you doing?” he asked so softly that I was sure he hadn’t meant for me to hear. “Fuck.” He turned away from me and ran both hands through his styled hair. “Fuck!” he yelled and pounded his fist against the wall. He whipped the door open and stalked out.
Slowly, I covered my tingling mouth as shame seeped over me. I methodically picked up the office with trembling hands. I folded the clothes he’d left behind and set them in the bag. Twice, because of my shaky hand, I wrote a note to Lucy explaining that David had left in a hurry without his things.
This can’t happen, I told myself. Put it away, Olivia. This has to stop.
~
I felt physically and emotionally drained when I returned home. The idea of a weekend sojourn, beginning with an hour car drive felt impossible. When I entered the apartment, I heard noises coming from the bedroom.
Come Undone Page 15
