by A. M. Rose
Shit, now I’m rambling like an idiot. Which I’m sure makes me look worse—like I’m trying to hide something, which I am, but I don’t want him to know.
I want—no, I need to avoid this conversation. Whatever’s happening to me isn’t normal. I’ll sound ridiculous. Or I’ll say too much. My palms aren’t the only things sweating now. The heat in my body is on full blast, sweat dripping down my back. Maybe I should make a break for it. I can probably outrun him, but that would look beyond insane. My legs move so fast, I’m almost jogging. Maddox is only a step behind me.
He jumps in front of me, and I stop before plowing into him. “What aren’t you telling me?”
I avoid his eyes. “Nothing. I’m just starving. If you don’t like pancakes they have these awesome breakfast burritos. Or—”
“Then what was that all about?” He gestures back to where we came from. “The guy in the car.”
I step to the left and he steps right. “So I can speak French. What’s the big deal?”
His brows meet the dark hair hanging over his forehead. “Big deal? You’re fluent in three languages. Three. How many more do you speak?”
I ignore the urge to run away and keep my feet planted. “Well, I’ve been trying to learn Ukrainian lately.” That’s a half truth. The message in my dreams was in Ukrainian, and I understood it, too. So I play into Maddox’s questions. It’s better than dodging them and looking more suspicious.
Maddox tilts his head to the side. “Ukrainian? Seriously?”
I nod. “Lots of people speak more than one language. Why are you making such a big deal about it?”
“Yeah, but you also fight big guys. Like really big guys with knives. And you—”
“And you show up to restaurants randomly. And can draw faster than anyone I know, better than anything I’ve ever seen. I guess we’re all kind of weird.” I stare straight into his sapphire eyes. A few minutes ago all I thought was that he might kiss me. But now he’s looking at me like I’m some kind of alien and maybe I am. But I’m not going to stand here and feel obligated to tell him any part of the truth. That would be stupid.
His face softens. “You don’t trust me yet. I get it. We really only just met. Plus, you already have Dylan.” He steps closer, and I resist the urge to step back. I’m not about to draw any more suspicion to me. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you better.”
Even though I’d like be able to trust him, and I should be excited he wants to get to know me, I’m terrified. I don’t even know who I am anymore. What I’m turning into. These things I can do, they aren’t me. Not really. The tears won’t be held back anymore, and maybe Maddox can sense it, because his eyes soften, and he acts like he’s about to move closer to me. And that scares me even more.
“I can’t—I’m sorry—I can’t do this.” I turn away from him and run.
…
I dash past a cluster of buildings all contained inside a protective dome and keep running. The canopy of trees gets thicker the farther I go. Sweat trickles down my face. Voices shout my name. A group of men dressed in jumpsuits chase after me. Smart-Bullets whizz by. I jump behind the closest tree for protection.
“Stop,” they shout.
But I don’t. Fear propels me forward. I run in zigzags, ducking behind trees and tearing through brush as I go. The voices get softer and softer until they’re completely gone, as I push myself deeper into the woods. A chill runs up my spine. Silence surrounds me. I throw my back against a giant tree and stare up at thick branches. Sunlight isn’t even welcome here.
“Alexandrea, you are in grave danger,” a familiar voice says.
I dig my nails into the tree behind me, trying not to fall apart. “I don’t know what to do.”
“You need to go. You need to keep running.”
“But where? Where should I go? I’m all alone.” My voice shakes.
“Alone is good. You cannot trust anyone. Go, now.”
But I can’t move. My back slides down the trunk of the tree until I’m on the ground. I pull my legs into my chest. Why is this happening to me? What do they want? I’m shaking now, and it’s not from the cool air that blows past and flutters my hair across my face. I can’t imagine what those people want from me, or with me. I’m nothing special. I’m just me. I’m scared. And I’m stuck trembling on the forest floor, instead of jumping to my feet to get away.
A branch snaps and my head shoots up. Maddox is standing in front of me with a smile on his face and an outstretched hand. He’s not in a jumpsuit but simple jeans and T-shirt that bring out the color of his eyes.
I release the breath caught in my chest. Thank God, I’m safe. I reach my hand out toward him.
My heart stops. Standing behind Maddox is the Green-eyed man. Those eyes cut through me. And he’s holding something in his hand. The crescent scar under his eye crinkles. A gun. He has a gun.
I scream.
The Green-eyed man fires. The shot pierces my chest and sends fire through my veins. I roll onto my side, clenching my chest.
“No!” Maddox cries out.
I wake up on the floor of my bedroom. My fists clench my chest, which burns so fierce I think I might die next to a pile of dirty clothes in my bedroom tonight. Stop. I want it all to stop. The dreams. The craziness that’s happening to me. Everything. But just thinking it makes me realize that things are probably just getting started.
Chapter Nineteen
Monday is thankfully a teacher in-service day, so I sleep in late and spend half the day moping around my room trying not to think about my stupid dreams, all the crap that’s happening to me, running from Maddox the way I did, or anything at all really. I need a break. Some time where I can think of nothing and just be the old Drea again. But even as I flip through pictures on my laptop, I know it isn’t possible. And that thought alone is exhausting.
But at least today maybe I can pretend.
Around two o’clock, I finally leave my house and head toward the coffee shop down the street to meet Dylan. No school for him means extra lacrosse practice, so after he goes home to shower he’s going to meet me so we can take one of our many impromptu mini adventures. Which is perfect, because I could use a little time to clear my head and be away from everything and everyone.
After getting coffees for both of us, I find a table outside to sit and wait for him. A text on my phone says he’s on his way. Perfect. The wind brushes through my loose hair, and the sun feels nice, normal even, warming my skin. And for a moment I close my eyes and take deep breaths full of roasted coffee smells. I take a sip of my own iced concoction and allow the cool liquid to roll over my tongue. It’s the first time in days I feel like ordinary Drea. Like maybe today won’t be drama filled for once.
“Hey,” Maddox says, and my head snaps up.
My eyes pop open, and my pulse increases. No. He’s not supposed to be here, at the best coffee shop in town on such a beautiful day. He’s supposed to be far, far away doing something fun and definitely not running into me. And I was supposed to have more time before I saw him again—at school, not here. What the hell should I say? “Hey.” Yeah, that was real smooth.
“I’m actually glad I ran into you.” He slides the chair next to me out and sits down. Sure, have a seat, because this isn’t awkward, and having this conversation doesn’t make me nervous or anything. “I’m really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that. It was a pretty dick move.”
My stomach flutters. He’s right. The way he acted wasn’t cool, even if I am hiding things. But the way I acted wasn’t much better—leaving him on the sidewalk and ignoring him. I stare at his shoes. They’re white and blue, with bright green swishes on the side. I need to tell him something, but I still can’t give him the explanation he wants. “I should be sorry. It’s just—”
“No explanation necessary. Friends?”
I meet his gaze. His eyes seem so sincere. Which is super confusing. I’m not sure why he’s giving me an o
ut, or if I even deserve it. But I’m going to take it anyway, especially if it means we never have to talk about yesterday again. “Friends.”
He leans back in the chair and props his foot on his opposite knee. “So what are you up to today?”
“I’m—”
“Drea and I have plans.” Dylan comes up from behind me. He got some sun at practice today; his nose and cheeks are a little pink. “You ready to go?”
I hand him his coffee and grab mine. “Yeah.” I turn to Maddox. “Dylan and I do these impromptu little trips where we just pick a direction and see where it takes us.” Okay, now I’m rambling and it’s not like Maddox even asked for the details. “What were you thinking?” I ask Dylan.
He takes a long drink of his iced triple Americano. “I thought we’d head north. There’s this state park that overlooks the ocean. It might be a good spot to get some pictures of the sunset. Or see the stars later.” Last time we went on one of our adventures we headed east and ended up in hill country. It was so beautiful out there, part of me wishes we could do that again, but the rule with these trips is to always do something new.
Maddox pushes back from the table. “Ever been to Hollywood?”
Dylan shakes his head. “Haven’t been farther north than downtown L.A.”
I grab my trusty travel backpack from where I set it on the ground and pull it into my lap. It goes on all of our adventures, full of snacks, an extra phone charger, and of course my camera. “Nope, can’t say that I have. Why?”
Maddox shrugs. “I used to live up that way. If you guys don’t mind someone tagging along, I could show you where some real-life stars hang out. Now those could be some good pictures, maybe even make a buck if you get a really good shot. And we could check out this awesome sushi joint.”
I gag just thinking about it. “No. No way. No sushi.”
Dylan laughs. “It’s not really Drea’s thing.”
“Well, there are tons of other places,” Maddox says. “I even know where James Franco lives.”
I laugh. “Did you see the Naked and Afraid spoof he did? It was seriously hysterical.”
“Hey. Do you know where Selena Gomez hangs out?” Dylan asks, and I roll my eyes. Yes, she is gorgeous but still.
“Good choice.” Maddox and Dylan exchange fist bumps.
“Really guys?” I huff.
“What? You like that new song of hers.” Dylan shakes his now half-full coffee at me.
I let out another sigh, but they aren’t listening to me. And somehow after that, we’re all piling into Maddox’s car to head north and fighting over what we’re going to listen to on the radio.
I text Mom to let her know what’s up. Well, at least the part that I’m taking a mini-adventure with Dylan and heading north, without any real specifics. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be thrilled with the idea of us going all the way up to Hollywood in hopes of catching some famous people in their natural habitat. Her response comes pretty quick telling me to be careful and have fun. The “be careful” part I expected; the “fun” part is new. I realize now that maybe she is trying. Leaving meals in the fridge, like the soup when I stayed home from school, the new clothes the other night, and she’s left a new photography magazine out for me yesterday, also. It’s been nice, so I’ve decided to try harder, too. I’m not going to bring things up, like Dad or the accident or being adopted. Sure, I want to know, but I like this new thing Mom and I have going, and I’m not about to ruin it.
I reach across and crank up the music just as Maddox pulls on the freeway. I’m not thinking about any of that today anyway.
…
The drive takes way longer than we expect, so we end up stopping on the way for some drive-thru. Not that I’m complaining. It isn’t sushi. But the burger sits in my stomach like a blob of hard clay. It was no Max’s that’s for sure. Then we get back in the car and basically crawl through L.A. traffic. The sun is already disappearing from the sky. Now I remember why we never come up this way.
“We made it.” Maddox points out the front window. “Look up there.”
To the right is the Hollywood sign, towering white letters shoved in a brown hillside that reaches up and touches the pale blue sky. In a flash, blueprints, land surveys, maps, and security diagrams are all laid out in my mind. It’s just like what happened with surfing, or when I played lacrosse with Dylan, but more. These are so detailed, so specific. And I’ve seen those things before. This is new. I’ve never looked at something I’ve never seen before and known it the way I know this.
“Cool,” Dylan says from the back seat. “I’ve never seen it in person before.”
I press my hands against the window, trying to take it all it. “Let’s go up there.”
Dylan pops his head between us. “You want to drive all the way up there? Why?”
I give him a look, telling him I need to go with my eyes, but I say, “I don’t know. It could be cool.”
“It’s an awesome view. I’ve been up there a bunch of times myself.” Maddox flips on his blinker. “It’ll be dark by the time we get up the hill. But we could…” He glances at me, then Dylan. “I mean, if you want to get an up-close look, I know a place we can climb the fence. Maybe check out the view from the cross section of the letter H. Now that would be one hellava picture.”
Dylan leans forward. “Bullshit.”
“Really?” I peer back out the window at the sign. A diagram with camera positions and angles runs through my head. I do want to go up there, but. “There’s too much security. We’ll get caught.”
“Yeah, there’s security and stuff, but their equipment is old and I know some ways around it.” Maddox lets off the gas and pulls onto the exit.
A maintenance schedule is the next thing to pop to the front of my mind. He isn’t completely right, but he isn’t wrong either. It might actually be possible. How can my head know all these things?
“You go ahead; I’ll watch from the not-going-to-jail side of the fence.” Dylan flops back against his seat.
The boys argue back and forth. They both have good points. But I can’t help wondering if we could do it. More than that, I need to know if the things that flash through my head are really true, if I could know things I’m sure most people have no way of knowing unless they work up there. Going up to the sign and seeing for myself is exactly what I need to do.
We’ve taken a turn and the sign is hidden behind some buildings, but I know it’s still there and we’re headed straight for it. There’s an ache inside my stomach the closer we get, and it’s not from the food. Something just feels weird. Like static in the air. What will it mean if everything inside my head is right? That I could really know all the things I do? Or maybe I’m wrong.
Either way, one thing’s certain. This mini adventure is going to change my life.
Chapter Twenty
We make the drive up the hill and park on the back side. Maddox says that we should leave the car a fair distance away from the sign, right between two different houses so there’s no telling which one we could’ve gone into. The people up here hate tourists and have created a maze of signs that paint a different picture than what’s really here. Fake not a through street signs and arrows leading drivers away line the streets, but we managed our way up just fine by ignoring them all.
We walk the rest of the way up, keeping conversations to a minimum. The wind is the only thing making noise tonight, and here it howls. It whips around and sends chills up my back. If we draw any attention to ourselves, we’re screwed. If we don’t get close enough to the sign, I’ll never know if what I saw is real. And I need to know.
The sun has disappeared from the sky, but there’s still enough light left to illuminate more than a dozen satellite dishes, cell phones, microwave and radio towers used by LAPD, LAFD, and the school district at the top of the hill.
“There.” Maddox points to a tree, his voice close to a whisper. “We can climb over the fence. Wow. The tree’s a lot bigger now. I’ll go first
and you two follow.”
Dylan and I exchange a glance. Nervous excitement surges through me, and there seems to be something electric in the air. He steps in front of me. “Are you sure we should be doing this?”
Maddox meets my gaze. “You can trust me. It’s going to be okay.”
I stare at him for a few seconds, his eyes never disengaging from mine. My pulse slows, and it hits me that I do—for whatever weird reason—believe him, and I need to get over that fence. There’s something on the other side I need to find. So much that it almost seems to be calling to me.
Maddox smiles at me before he climbs the tree with ease. I watch each grab he makes, each placement of his feet so I can copy him. He makes his way across the branch without stopping and drops to the other side.
I go next, remembering each move he made. The rough bark digs into my fingers as I climb. This is nothing like the last time I was in a tree at the ropes course. That time I was petrified. My body fought me every step of the way. This time I’m confident, and freezing from the crisp air, but I’m not afraid I’m going to fall, even though the memory is still fresh in my mind. Another gust of wind rushes by, sending my loose hair in my face, tickling my nose, and I shiver as I make my way onto the branch that leads to the other side of the fence.
For a moment, I pause and check out the view. Lights shine so bright they create an unnatural glowing horizon and block out the stars above. Below the hill is like a giant grid. Street lights stretch out north to south and east to west. When I inhale, my lungs fill with the disgusting smog that covers this city with only a hint of pine from the tree I’m in. It’s gross. But I need to get to the sign. So I finish climbing and land on the ground next to Maddox.
Dylan has a little more trouble getting started. The place he plants his heel gives, his foot goes sliding down, and his chest hits the trunk of the tree. He shakes his hands and starts again. This time he’s able to get a good grip, then navigate his way through the tree and lands next to me. He’s over so fast I don’t have a second to be worried if he’ll make it.
