by Jill Kemerer
* * *
The loud ringtone coming from Gabby’s phone almost gave him a heart attack. He glanced over at her, curled up in the chair, sleeping. She looked young, beautiful and peaceful. He checked his own phone—after eleven o’clock at night. Should he try to wake her up?
He shifted Phoebe, also sleeping, to his other arm and reached over to shake Gabby’s shoulder. “Hey, wake up. Someone is calling you.”
She lifted her head, her eyelids trying to open, and gave him the most confused stare he’d seen in a while.
“What? Why are you here? Where am I?” Her voice was muffled as if she chewed on cotton. He tried not to laugh.
“You’re at your apartment. You fell asleep.”
Her phone blared again.
She bolted upright and swiped the phone. “Hello?”
Expressions of anxiety, then concern, then downright worry tightened her face.
“Okay, calm down. I’ll be right there. No, you’re not bothering me...Of course not. I’ll come to you.” She hung up.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“It’s Eden. She had some bad news and is completely freaking out. I’ve never—not once since I’ve known her—seen her get hysterical about anything.” Gabby got up. Her jerky movements proved she wasn’t quite awake all the way. “I have to go out there.”
“Want me to go get her?” He stood, keeping Phoebe cradled under his arm.
“No, no. I’ll go. You wouldn’t know how to find her.” She scurried to the kitchen, grabbed her keys and her purse, then smacked her forehead. “The baby.”
“I’ll take care of her. You go find your friend.”
“No. I’ll call Babs...” She rubbed her right eyebrow and shook her head. “I can’t. I forgot she was going to Jackson after I picked up the baby. No big deal. Phoebe can come with me...” She seemed to be talking to herself.
“Gabby.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I will stay here and take care of Phoebe.”
“You?”
Didn’t she think he could handle it? Should he be offended? “Yes. After you fell asleep, I changed her diaper and played with her. We were fine then, and we’ll be fine now.”
“I don’t know.” She chewed on her fingernail.
“Look, she’s sleeping.” He nodded to the baby. “Why wake her?”
Her gray eyes softened. “I guess you’re right. Her formula is in the kitchen. The bottles are in the cupboard. If she starts fussing, assume she’s hungry. Make sure you burp her. And be prepared for a nasty diaper—it could blow right through her pajamas.”
Nasty diaper? He did not look forward to that.
“Oh, you need to put her in her pajamas. Come on, I’ll show you where everything is.” She waved him to follow her, but he caught her hand and stopped her. The touch undid him—he quickly dropped her hand.
“Gabby, I know where you keep everything. You’ve taught me how to change her. We’ll be fine. Now go.”
Her worried eyes met his, and he wanted to hug her and assure her everything—her friend and him watching the baby—would be fine. But he couldn’t. Couldn’t touch her because holding her would be his downfall.
With her lips in a thin line, she nodded. “Call me for any reason. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone. She’s almost half an hour away.”
“I can stay all night.”
And with that, she nodded, clutching her purse, and left. At the click of the door, he stared down at Phoebe, asleep in his arms. Her hair was sweaty where her cheek rested against his arm. He caressed her little head and sat back down on the couch.
A few minutes later, Phoebe’s eyes blinked open, and spotting his face, she instantly let out a wail.
“Hey there, smiley, you don’t need to cry,” he said softly. “Your mama’s helping a friend. She’ll be back a little later.”
Her lower lip wobbled, her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth opened wide—letting out the loudest cry he’d ever heard.
He’d never been alone with the baby before. Gabby had always supervised them, and if Phoebe cried, Gabby had known what to do.
How was he supposed to handle this? How could he stop the crying?
“What do you need?” He sprang to his feet. “You hungry? Or do you not like my face?”
He shifted her in his arms, her head at his shoulders, and went into the kitchen. Her cries grew more urgent. His insides were winding tighter and tighter with each wail.
Was Phoebe in pain? What had Gabby told him? His glance fell on the clean bottles lined on the counter.
Assume she’s hungry. Right. He fiddled with the formula and hoped for the best. Had he prepared the bottle correctly? The wails were pounding into his head—he’d try anything to stop them.
“Here you go, here’s your bottle.” He tried to give it to her, but she turned her head and cried harder. Her face was brick red, and her little body stiff with tension. “Okay, I take it you’re not hungry.”
The basket of toys stood in the corner, so he went over and took out a stuffed bunny. “Look at Mr. Bunny.” He pretended to make it hop. She paused, her lips wobbling, and then resumed crying.
Once more, he tried to give her the bottle, but by the tone of her cries, he might as well have been lighting her favorite toy on fire.
Why had he thought he could take care of a baby by himself? Gabby would know what was wrong. She’d get her to stop. What if she came back and the baby was still hysterical? She’d never let him take care of his niece again.
God, I don’t know what to do. I hate seeing her upset. How do I make it better?
He stood up. She still cried and twisted to face away from him. Locking her in his grip, he shifted her to face the television. Her tiny legs dangled as he gently bounced her. Slowly, the cries subsided.
“You didn’t want to see my ugly mug, did you?” He kept his voice low. “I don’t blame you. But I’d never hurt you. I’m only here because your mama had to leave for a little bit. Her friend needs her—and she’s the type of person who will drop everything for her friends.”
The phone call he’d ignored from Sam bloomed fresh in his mind. Had Sam been calling for help? If he had taken it, would he have prevented Sam from overdosing a few days later?
He’d been wrapped up in his own misery about Dad selling the company and Robin leaving him—he hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone. He’d figured Sam called to tell him about his latest gig or something. He’d never dreamed Sam would die within the week.
Gently kissing the top of Phoebe’s head, he tried to push away the guilt. Gabby’s confession about her ex earlier had bothered him more than he cared to admit. The fact a guy would use her like that... His muscles tensed, and Phoebe twisted to look back at him. Two fat teardrops clung to her lashes, and her lower lip jutted out.
“Come on, let’s get you in your pajamas. You’ll feel better.” He carried her to her bedroom. Maybe he should have told Gabby the truth—the whole truth—tonight. Sure, he’d given her the condensed version of him and Robin and his dad, but there was more to it. Much more to it.
Why was it still important for him to make her believe he didn’t have money? When she so obviously never would expect anything from him?
“She doesn’t mind me now, but if she knew everything...” He laid Phoebe on the changing table, grabbed the wipes and put on a fresh diaper. Then he put her pajamas on, snapping them incorrectly twice before redoing it right. She made little babbling noises. She was back to her happy self. “Your mama doesn’t like rich guys, especially ones who didn’t earn their money. And I’m not like her. It’s midnight and she’s helping her friend. I couldn’t even answer a call from my brother.”
He scooped her up and carried her to the living room.
He didn’t deserve a woman like Gabby.
But he wanted to.
* * *<
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Her mind was racing in opposite directions. One thought dominated—help Eden. The other—had she made a ginormous mistake leaving the baby with Dylan?—chased closely behind. Gabby parked her car behind Eden’s on the shoulder of the old two-lane road. Turning on her flashlight, she began making her way across the rocky plain, then up the grassy hill to where a clearing was hidden from the road. She knew the spot because Eden had brought her out here on several occasions, including when they’d camped overnight a few months after Mia died. It had been a cathartic experience with millions of twinkling stars in the black sky and just the two of them talking through the grief.
Tonight was equally as clear, and Gabby had no problem seeing the path ahead of her. A dozen worries circled her brain. Would Dylan be able to handle Phoebe? What if something went wrong and he didn’t know what to do? Had she warned him about not letting Phoebe have any pillows in her crib? And what if he tried to feed her something she couldn’t handle? Did he know what babies could eat? And what about Eden? Why was she hysterical? What had happened?
When she reached the top of the hill, she scanned the flat clearing until she saw Eden sitting on a blanket, her knees bunched up to her chest.
“Hey,” Gabby said, jogging to her side. Eden didn’t move, so she clumsily folded her legs to a seated position next to her. “What’s going on? Why are you out here all alone?”
“I’m always alone, Gabby.” Eden continued to stare ahead, her arms wrapped around her knees. “And I’m about to be even more alone.”
“What are you talking about?” Gabby’s heart leaped to her throat. Eden’s tone set her nerves on edge.
She faced her then. “Dad called me after the picnic. He was all excited. Apparently he and Mom bought an RV and plan on traveling the country sooner rather than later.”
Gabby cringed. The past four years had been difficult for the entire family.
“I know how close you are to them.” Gabby put her arm around Eden’s shoulders.
“That’s not the worst part. They don’t want to ranch anymore. They’re going to sell it.” She started crying then.
“Oh no.” She rubbed Eden’s back as she sobbed. “I don’t know what to say. It’s your home.”
She sniffed. “I always thought I’d get married and bring the kids over to the ranch for Christmas and Sunday dinners and...” She hiccuped and cried at the same time. “All of my memories are there. Mia was there. How can they even consider letting some stranger have it all?”
Now she understood why Eden was so upset. This was about Mia as much as it was about losing her home.
“You’ll always have your memories of your sister. They’re locked up here—” Gabby pointed to her temple “—not in a house.”
Eden sniffled and blew her nose into a tissue. “I know you’re right, but it hit me so hard, especially after the picnic.”
“What was wrong with the picnic?” She thought about Dylan’s observation regarding Eden and Ryder.
“It was so obvious I don’t fit in with the guys around here. Judd said two words to me. Cash completely ignored me. And the only guy who made any effort was the one I don’t like at all.”
“Judd’s quiet. The two words he said to you were two more than he said to most of the women there. And you don’t want Cash. He’s a player.” Should she ask about Ryder? “Why don’t you like Ryder?”
“I didn’t say that,” she snapped.
“You weren’t talking about Ryder?”
Eden sighed. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s drop it.”
Gabby raised her eyebrows but didn’t push it. A shooting star streaked across the sky in front of them. “Did you see that? A shooting star.”
“Maybe if I wish on it, my parents won’t sell the ranch.”
“Maybe.” Gabby wanted to give words of comfort, but she couldn’t lie to her best friend. “Change can be good sometimes.”
“For you.” Eden shrugged.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Nothing. I just noticed how Dylan looked at you. He didn’t want you out of his sight.”
Her heartbeat quickened. Was it true?
“I’m the only one he knows here.”
“He wasn’t scared, Gabby.” Eden blew out a long breath. “He likes you. And I’m glad. I just...well, I want someone to look at me like that. And instead I’m getting kicked out of my house. Maybe Brittany will let me rent the apartment above her studio for a discount.”
“It’s been a long time since you were on your own. Having your own apartment could be exactly what you need.”
“I’ve never really been on my own. I dormed with three other girls at college, and lived with Mom and Dad during the summers. I like life how it is now.”
“Who’s to say you won’t like it even better a year from now?” Gabby stood and held out a hand to Eden. She took it, stood and Gabby hugged her.
“I can’t stand the thought of someone else living in my house, Gabby.” Eden turned to head back down the path.
“Understandable.”
“I feel like I have no control.”
“I know the feeling well.” Gabby followed her, shining the flashlight before them.
“Thanks for coming out here. I’m sorry to call so late. I just couldn’t process any of this. I felt paralyzed sitting up there, and all I could think to do was call you.”
“I’m glad you did. That’s what friends are for. You were there for me night and day after Allison died.” They reached the bottom of the hill, and Gabby put her hand on Eden’s arm to stop her. “You’ll always have me. That’s one thing that won’t change.”
“I know. We’ll always be friends. I’ll get through this. It’s not the worst thing in the world. Losing Mia was.”
“I wish Mia and Allison were still here.”
“Me, too.” Eden stared at her with clear eyes. “I think you should get married and have more kids.”
“Me?” She forced out a laugh. “I’m not getting married.”
“I think you will and sooner than you think.” Eden continued walking forward. “You should, you know. Phoebe would get a daddy, and you’d have someone to lean on.”
“I don’t need anyone to lean on. I have you and the rest of the group.”
“It’s not the same.” Eden headed toward their cars.
She had a point. It wasn’t the same, and she knew it. The fact Dylan had been there to watch Phoebe had allowed her to drop everything and come here to help Eden. Without his offer, she would have had to wake someone else, bring the baby or not come at all.
She checked her phone to see if he’d called or texted. Nothing. No news was good news, right?
“Are you going to be okay going home on your own?” Gabby asked as Eden pulled her keys out of her pocket.
“Yeah.” Eden hugged her. “Thanks for coming out tonight. I’m sorry to drag you away.”
“Don’t be sorry. I wanted to come.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Eden got into her car.
“Hey, Eden?”
“Yes?”
“God will get you through this.”
Eden nodded. “I hope so, Gabby. I hope so.”
* * *
Half an hour later, Gabby quietly unlocked her door and tiptoed inside. The television screen glowed, but no sound came from it. Where were Dylan and Phoebe? As stress tightened her lungs, she stepped into the living room. The sight before her drained every ounce of anxiety.
Dylan was sprawled on her couch with Phoebe cuddled up on his chest. Both were sleeping.
It was the most precious sight she could imagine.
Eden’s words echoed in her mind. You should get married and have more kids...sooner than you think.
At the time, she’d thought it was ridiculous.
Now the idea didn’t s
eem so out there.
“Hey.” She tapped the bottom of Dylan’s foot. “Wake up. I’m home.”
He shifted, curling his arm around Phoebe protectively. Have mercy.
“Dylan, wake up.” She carefully picked up the baby. Dylan was a heavy sleeper. She carried Phoebe to her room and set her in the crib before returning to the living room.
He’d sat up and was raking his fingers through his hair. She tried not to stare. He looked so sleepy and adorable...and handsome.
“Was she okay for you?” Gabby perched on the edge of the chair.
“What?” He yawned. “Oh, yeah. She was great.”
“She didn’t cry at all?” Sometimes Gabby got the feeling she was dispensable—that any adult would do in Phoebe’s eyes.
“She cried a little after you left.” He looked sheepish. “I think she missed you.”
“Really?” Her spirits lifted. How messed up was that? She shouldn’t be happy the baby cried.
“Yeah, but she settled down.” He picked up his shoes and started putting them on. “How is your friend? Everything okay?”
“She’ll be fine. She had an unpleasant life surprise.”
“I know how that goes.” He nodded. “Well, I’ll get out of your hair. Thanks for the picnic and letting me come over—by the way, the Rockies won.”
He crossed to the front door. She followed him.
“You don’t have to thank me. I should be the one thanking you. Thanks for watching the baby for me—and for offering. It helped me out.” It was scary to think she could depend on him. The facts were there, though. He’d come through for her in a jam.
“No problem. I’m glad I could help. See you in church tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
He opened the door, hitched his chin to her and left.
She stared at the closed door for several moments.
The whole friend thing had flown out the window the instant she’d spotted him cradling Phoebe on the couch.
She could no longer herd him into the same pasture as Judd and Cash and the other cowboys in town.
