by Sarina Dorie
I froze under the sheets, horrified. For a moment I considered a witty reply about not needing a second breakfast, but I knew I would probably get tongue tied trying to say something plucky. If I could have embraced my inner Vega, I would probably have remained under the sheets and done exactly what I wanted to spite him, but I wasn’t so bold.
“What are you doing here?” Thatch asked.
Elric chuckled. “I told you. I’m here to—”
“You aren’t fooling anyone with that.”
I emerged from under the covers, untwisting my nightgown and smoothing it out as I sat beside my husband. My face felt hot. Thatch’s erection tented the sheets outward.
“Peek-a-boo. There you are, love,” Elric said with false cheerfulness. “It’s time for your treatment.”
“Now isn’t a good time,” I said.
“You’re going to have to make time. You’ve gone without me for two days now.”
That was true. He’d only cuddled with me as I’d meditated the day before, but that didn’t give him a right to barge in right now. “Come back in two hours.”
“That isn’t a good idea. How about you continue what you were doing, and I’ll watch to ensure your magic doesn’t get out of control.”
There was no way that was going to happen. “Two days ago you said I was getting stronger. You said I’m able to control my touch magic better.”
Elric bit his lip. “You are improving, but—”
Thatch jabbed a finger in his direction. “Don’t try to blame this on Clarissa’s affinity. This has nothing to do with her magic. You’re just trying to sabotage our relationship.”
“No. You’re trying to sabotage yourself. You were about to breach your contract. If I hadn’t interrupted—”
“I wasn’t, and you know it.” Thatch slid out from beneath the blankets, stalking closer to Elric. “You just want Clarissa all to yourself. That’s always what this is about with you. Not what’s good for her, but what’s good for you.”
My gaze flickered to my husband’s still very hard erection. It was hard not to look at. “Tell me about this bargain.”
Neither acknowledged my request. I hadn’t expected they would.
Elric remained calm, his tone pompous.
“You are jealous because you know I can help Clarissa with her magic, and you can’t.”
Thatch lifted his chin. “If you weren’t such a selfish git, you wouldn’t lie to her.”
“Me? You’re the one who made me agree to a keep a dozen things from her so that your ego can survive intact. You’re going to drain yourself pleasuring your wife—or your wife pleasuring you.”
I listened with rapt attention, patiently waiting for one of them to slip and say too much.
“That’s my concern, not yours,” Thatch said.
“Is it? What about when your pride hurts Clarissa? She’s going to be heartbroken once she realizes what you’ve done to yourself. Who is going to be left to pick up the pieces?” He smirked. “Who will bring comfort to your wife when you cannot?”
“Get out.” Thatch shoved him.
That wasn’t a good sign.
Elric pushed him back. “This is my house, and you are my guest. You will show me the respect a Fae prince deserves. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, considering you are in my debt.”
“Hey! You two stop!” I scrambled out of bed.
“I don’t care if you are our host and this is your castle. I will not have you in my bedroom.” Thatch grabbed Elric by the lapels, attempting to forcibly remove him.
Elric laughed. He faded and reappeared behind Thatch, kicking him in the behind and sending him stumbling forward. Thatch whirled.
Elric waved a hand at Thatch’s erection. “Who did that for you?”
I placed myself between the two of them, a palm on each of their chests. “Stop fighting. This isn’t productive. You’re both being ridiculous.”
“You know what’s ridiculous? That monstrosity.” Elric gestured to Thatch’s engorged penis, which had remained erect during the entirety of their argument and scuffle. “How did you manage that? Is it a glamour or a spell?”
Thatch straightened. “A potion.”
The words affected me like a blow. I stared at my husband in surprise. This was the reason he had been avoiding sex with me? He needed magical Viagra but wouldn’t tell me?
“Which of my servants did you convince to make that for you?”
“Not a servant.” A malicious smile slid across Thatch’s face. “Your wife.”
Elric’s face went red.
I could only focus on Thatch’s admission about needing a potion. “You didn’t—that wasn’t because—?” I swallowed hard. “I thought you . . . wanted me.”
Thatch’s eyes turned mournful. “I do.” He slipped an arm around my waist, drawing me closer.
I stepped back. “Why do you always have to lie to me? Can’t you just once trust me with the truth?”
Elric squeezed me to his side. “This is the problem with marrying a pathological liar. He doesn’t know how to tell the truth.”
I shoved him away. I wanted to smack them both.
Elric looked to Thatch. “Are you going to tell her? If you don’t, I will.”
“You gave me your word you wouldn’t.”
Elric eyed him with disdain. “Yes, but I’m not magically obligated to keep my word about this part.”
“No. You would simply be showing Clarissa what a dishonorable scoundrel you are by being the kind of man to break your word.”
Elric turned to me, a hand outstretched, inviting me to come to him. “Do you want to know the truth about your husband’s magic?”
“Don’t,” Thatch said through clenched teeth.
I scooted back from them farther. I did want to know the truth, but not at the expense of Thatch’s pride. Even if he did make me angry.
“Tell her why it’s necessary I pleasure her instead of you. Tell her about your torture chamber.”
Thatch leaned against the bed, shoulders drooping in defeat. “Clarissa already knows about my affinity.”
I tried to piece together what Elric was hinting at and what Thatch wasn’t saying. Pain gave his affinity strength, therefore pleasure would weaken him. I had used this to my advantage during times when I had witnessed him losing control.
I swallowed. “You need your affinity to be recharged to heal, but pleasure weakens you and drains you again. Because I was drained, any kind of pain sets my recovery back. For you, any kind of pleasure.”
“It’s not any kind of pain for you. It’s prolonged, insistent pain. Just as it’s not any kind of pleasure for me. Prolonged touch, particularly sexual pleasure takes away my ability to heal from being drained.” His gray eyes were filled with gloom. “Everything you need from me to help you heal, to give you pleasure, makes me worse. If I were myself, I would have a surplus of magic that would prevent this. I would balance the pleasure and pain magic. I could block your magic if it became too strong. Right now I have nothing.”
“And he continues to have nothing because you keep undoing any magic he stores up,” Elric said.
Thatch stared at the floor.
“Am I right?” Elric asked. “That is how pain magic works?”
Thatch nodded. “All the pain magic I renew and store up in myself during the day, I lose when I’m with you, Clarissa. Even if I use no magic whatsoever, I become drained after cuddling with you in bed.” His misery hung over him like thunderclouds.
My heart clenched. I was the one making everything worse. My pleasure caused him pain—the wrong kind of pain. “But how is this possible? You had over a year to heal. The last time you were completely drained—after Alouette Loraline drained you—you were able to use magic, and that was far less than a year.” The times he had been drained, but not to the brink of death, he’d recovered much more quickly.
“I could use magic, so long as I was
n’t exposed to my weakness.” He sat on the bed, one arm draped around a pole as if that was all that kept him upright.
His dour mood had no effect on Vega’s very potent potion.
Elric placed a hand on my elbow. “Most affinities don’t recover at all after being drained. For a Red affinity, it’s a feat to even once recover. After a second time, it’s more challenging to regain one’s magic. The third time is near impossible. I don’t know if anyone has ever been drained more and recovered. Except Thatchy here. It’s a miracle he’s starting to regain his strength at all.”
Especially with me undoing it. I’d drained his magic as he’d been trying to recover.
My husband scowled at Elric. “Don’t call me Thatchy.”
For weeks I thought Thatch hadn’t wanted to touch me because I didn’t arouse him, because he didn’t want me after I’d been touched by Elric. I thought he had fallen out of love with me in the time I’d been asleep. I’d worried about so many other possibilities but not this.
My sorrow and regret condensed into a smoldering ball of fury. “Did you also lie to me about the reason Elric needs to bed me instead of you? Do I really need his magic to help me control my affinity?”
“Yes,” they both said at the same time.
“You could have told me about the pain magic and how greatly pleasure weakens you.” I waved a hand at his erection, still standing at attention. Vega had done an excellent job with her potion—not that I had ever doubted her skills in spells.
“No. It would have inhibited your recovery,” Thatch said. “I don’t want to expose you to my magic, nor do I wish to make you stop expressing yourself through touch.”
“Stop trying to be so gallant.” I balled my fists at my sides, anger building in me.
“He isn’t gallant.” Elric laughed. “He’s jealous. He didn’t want me to keep you all to myself. That’s what he’s really afraid—”
I punched him in the shoulder.
“Ow!” Elric leapt back, laughing harder. “Your husband is the one who likes to be hit, not me.”
I marched over to Thatch, wanting to punch him in the shoulder too. At the same time, I didn’t. I didn’t want to hit him in anger. It would feel like abuse—which apparently I had no problem giving Elric.
I glared at my husband. “Felix Thatch, if you want to be married to me, you need to start treating me like your equal. I am not going to break because you need pain magic. Do you know how much I love you?” I mentally steeled myself not to flinch as I raised my hand and slapped him. “That’s how much.”
He sucked in a breath. His eyes locked on mine. I slapped him across his other cheek. The shock of it reverberated to me. This didn’t feel good to me, but I knew it did to him.
He took hold of my hips and drew me closer. “Again.”
My chest felt tight with shame. I didn’t know if I were mentally strong enough to keep this up. I slapped him again and again. Conflicting emotions rose up in me. Tears filled my eyes. His lips parted mine, his mouth drinking me in. The tenderness was so unexpected, it soothed the anguish in me and awakened dormant desire.
That’s how I knew it had to be bad for him. I pulled away, out of his arms.
“Well then,” Elric said. “Now that I’ve saved you from injuring yourself, I suppose we all can go about our day as it should be.” He waved a dismissive hand at Thatch. “You can go off to your dungeon and torture yourself.”
I wanted to believe Elric had come here specifically to rescue Thatch from harming himself, but I doubted he was that selfless. To humiliate Thatch in the process of helping—that I might buy.
Thatch didn’t move. “I wish a private moment with my wife. Perhaps you might return to your wife, who is likely to feel neglected with all the attention you bestow on another woman.”
“How kind of you to express such concern over my wife’s feelings. I assure you, she will be fine.” Elric placed a hand on my back. “Your wife will not. It’s best I satisfy her needs now rather than later. Especially since you can’t.”
I slapped his hand away. “Was that necessary? Is there some reason you can’t try to be nice to Felix?”
“Indeed. There’s a reason,” Thatch said. “It’s that he’s a bloody git.”
I rolled my eyes. They were going to drive me crazy.
“Well, you’re a smellfungus skelpie-limmer.” Elric lifted his nose into the air. “And a liar. Clarissa even called you that.”
Thatch said through clenched teeth, “When I am fully recovered, do you know what I’m going to do to you?”
“Shut up! Both of you!” I shouted. “This doesn’t make me want to be with either of you.”
Thatch looked like he was trying not to smile.
I pointed at him. “No. That goes for you too. You’re both acting like immature teenagers. Seriously, you need to learn how to get along.” I looked to Elric. “I married Felix Thatch because I love him. I will not have you trying to undermine our relationship. If we need privacy to talk, you need to respect that.”
Elric crossed his arms, sulkily staring at the tray he’d brought in. “Tolerating his presence in my house is a tall enough order.”
Thatch lifted his chin, imperiously staring down his nose at Elric.
I pointed at him. “And you very well know I need Elric to help me with my affinity. You are undermining our relationship every time you keep the truth from me. You put Elric in an uncomfortable position when I have to learn the truth from him instead of you. Every time you lie to me, every time you insult Elric, it shows me how petty and selfish you are. You are afraid I’m going to start to prefer him over you? Well, you know what? You’re going to drive me into his arms because I’m not going to want to put up with your shit.”
His brows drew together in consternation. His gaze flickered to Elric behind me, and his eyes narrowed.
I waved a hand at Elric, even though I couldn’t see him. “Stop smiling.”
“I wasn’t,” Elric protested.
“He was,” Thatch said.
I was just about ready to punch them both again. “You need to learn to cooperate. If you can’t do it for yourselves, you’re going to have to learn to do so for me.”
Thatch grimaced. Elric shook his head.
If only I knew a team-building exercise for romantic rivals. My arsenal contained first-day activities and games to help children work together collaboratively. Then again. . . . I looked from one to the other. Maybe I did.
I knew what I needed to do in order to finally make them get along. They just wouldn’t like it.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Penis Pals
I had a plan to force them to learn to cooperate.
“I am going to teach you a lesson in teamwork and cooperation.” I rushed over to my wardrobe, wondering if my bag still had everything that had been stowed away in it. I discovered that it did. I didn’t have any pockets in my nightgown to stow the Chinese finger trap to hide it from them.
If necessity was the mother of invention, secrecy was the father of harebrained schemes. As discreetly as I could, I lifted my nightgown and tucked the finger trap into the waistband of my underwear.
“What are you doing?” Elric asked.
I turned back, hoping the cylinder didn’t stick out too much and give away what I intended to do to them. “Elric, take off your pants.”
“Don’t,” Thatch said.
He should have known better. Thatch always had the ability to inspire people to do exactly the opposite of what he ordered them to do.
Grinning, Elric removed his pants. “I bet you want to see who has a bigger cock. Just so you know, it’s going to be—”
“Shush.” I held up a hand. “Is there any rope in this room?”
“This sounds fun.” Elric’s enthusiasm was contagious. “We don’t have rope in here. Shall I send for a servant?”
“No, that isn’t necessary.” I went to the vanity and colle
cted some ribbons that I had never used in my hair. A bundle of ribbons wasn’t as strong as the fibers of rope, but there were enough of them, and when I twisted them together, that was sort of the same principle as rope.
Thatch’s grumpiness was an equal match in strength for Elric’s mood. “Whatever idea you have, I’m sure it isn’t wise.”
“We are going to practice a team-building exercise. Turn around. I’m going to tie you up.”
Thatch remained sitting on the bed. “As I already said, this does not seem like it is in my best interest.”
I knew what would motivate him, but I hesitated. Sadomasochism wasn’t my thing, but I understood it was his. I pinched him in the bicep. He didn’t flinch.
“Turn around, and let me tie you up. If you don’t, you aren’t going to get a reward.”
“It’s fine,” Elric said. “You can give me his reward instead.”
Thatch grudgingly turned away. I bound his hands together and tied him to the bedpost. He stood there, a frown turning the corners of his mouth down. Possibly that was because Elric had decided to remove all his clothes. I moved on to tie Elric’s hands behind his back next.
“I bet I know what we’re going to do. It’s a contest; isn’t it?” Elric asked. “We have to see who can please you more from a precarious position.”
“That isn’t how team building works.” Thatch rolled his eyes. “She’s going to make us work together to accomplish a task. Probably untying each other.”
He was a teacher and had probably performed less kinky versions of what I was about to do.
Delight shone in Elric’s eyes. “Oh, I think I understand. We need to work together to pleasure Clarissa. What a splendid idea!”
“Yep.” I felt a little bit bad about deceiving him, but not that bad. I waved a hand at his crotch. “Can you give me an erection?”
He smiled slyly. “Of course. After you kiss me.”
I slipped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He stooped to make it easier to reach him. It didn’t take long before I felt a hard cylinder poking into my belly that wasn’t the Chinese finger trap. I drew back.
