“The last time I came home, he was in the middle of strangling her. I tore him off her and he turned and came at me in a rage. He ended up kicking me out of the house that night.” A muscle along Carter’s jaw tightened and it hurt. “Said he was through with me challenging him. And my mom backed him up.” His breath caught. “She told me it would be better for her and Amy if I made myself scarce.” He had been staring straight ahead, but he turned to meet Shannon’s gaze. “That was thirteen years ago and when I walked out of that house, it was the last time I saw any of them.”
Shannon gasped. “Even your sister?”
His gut twisted at the mention of his sister. Perhaps he had failed Amy more than anyone else. She was a kid and he’d walked away. She was helpless and he’d left her on her own with wolves.
Carter rubbed at his forehead. “She called me two years ago, when our mom passed away.”
“Carter,” Shannon whispered. Her fingers tightened on his hand.
Carter usually did his best to avoid dredging up his past, so he had forgotten how much it could drain him. He allowed his head to slump forward. “I didn’t go to the funeral,” he said. “At the time, I didn’t want to face Amy.” He cupped one of his hands over his eyes and blew out a long breath. “I felt horrible for leaving her in that house alone and unprotected. Who knows what she ended up enduring.”
Shannon took hold of his wrist and pulled his hand away from his face. “Do you still have her number?”
He nodded once.
“You should call her.” She gently squeezed his wrist.
“Have you talked to your brothers?”
“That’s not fair.”
He flipped his hand around in her grasp so they were holding hands instead of her clutching his wrist. “How about this? When you talk to your brothers about how you feel, I promise I’ll call Amy.”
Her eyebrows rose, but a second later she nodded. “So where did you go—when your stepdad kicked you out?”
“First I went to my dad’s house,” Carter explained. “At the time he lived in this gated community across town. I rang the doorbell at ten at night and I looked a lot like this.” He pointed at his bruised jaw and busted lip. “He took one look at me and said I wasn’t allowed in. He assumed I’d been causing fights and he didn’t want me around his new sons. Said I’d be a bad influence and I’d ruin them if he let me in. He moved them to California soon after that. I always thought it was to get away from me.”
“Oh, Carter.” Now she looked like she might start crying. “I’m so sorry.”
Pity had always rubbed him wrong. It always would. Not that he believed Shannon was pitying him, but even the possibility that she could be was enough. He wasn’t that helpless kid anymore. That certainly wasn’t the image of him he wanted her to have. “For all intents and purposes I was homeless for the next few years. I traveled by foot from ranch to ranch and took whatever work I could and slept in a lot of barns. I barely finished high school between it all.” Carter leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling. “That’s probably enough about me.”
Shannon scooted a little closer so she could lay her head on his shoulder. “Thank you for telling me all that. For what it’s worth, I think you’re the bravest and best person I’ve ever met.”
Except she didn’t know everything.
She didn’t know the worst of it.
That thought propelled him off the couch. Carter paced away and then stopped with his back to her. He lowered his head into his hands and took a deep breath. He was in love with Shannon Jarrett. The truth of it rocked through him. He knew it like he knew he was breathing. However, he was also aware of the fact that he didn’t know how to be a good boyfriend—he wasn’t even sure he knew what it looked like to simply be a good friend. If he tried, he would flounder and fail. He would end up disappointing her and he couldn’t stand to stick around and see that happen. But loving her had become a part of him and for the first time in his life, Carter wasn’t sure he could walk away.
He thought about the application the Spiras had given him for the short-term veterinarian mission trip program. Night after night he had looked over the materials and he had even gone so far as to complete the forms online. But he hadn’t pressed Submit yet. Whenever he thought about it he couldn’t picture leaving Red Dog Ranch and that scared him more than anything. He was a man without roots—a wanderer—and no person or place was supposed to ever capture his heart.
Yet she had.
This place had, too.
Carter dropped his hands from his face. Was love worth the risk? He had to know if she felt the same way. “Remember that overseas program Spira told me about?”
Still on the couch, she had tucked her legs under herself. “Of course. Have you heard back yet?”
“I haven’t applied yet. Do you think I should?” He slowly turned to face her, gripping the back of a chair as he did. “If I got in, it would mean leaving this place. You guys would have to find someone new to work with the horses.”
Ask me to stay.
Tell me you never want me to leave.
If she gave him the slightest hint that she cared, he would spill everything. He would go against every promise he ever made to protect himself and be vulnerable enough to chance getting hurt again. He would trust her with the worst piece of himself, the piece he hadn’t yet told her about but she deserved to know.
“You can’t pass up an opportunity like that. It’s your dream, Carter. You have to apply. Do it.” Shannon pointed at him in a way that made him think of a cross teacher. “Today.” She batted her hand in the air. “And don’t worry about the horses. Rhett has a file of other applicants from when you were hired. We can replace you in a heartbeat.”
He refused to let her see how much one simple sentence had torn at him.
Carter forced a smile. “Right. Of course.” A strained laugh slipped out. “I’ll submit the application today.”
“That’s wonderful, Carter.” Her smile was bright and wide, and it felt as if someone had punched him in the chest. “It’s going to be such a great experience. I can’t wait for you to go.”
Given how she had treated him in the past, he had wondered about her feelings.
He wouldn’t entertain that hope any longer. It had been foolish to believe a woman like Shannon could ever care about him. Even for a second.
He rubbed his hands together. “I should head out. Thanks for the ice.” He headed toward the door. “After everything...you’ve had a rough day. You should stay in and relax. Don’t worry about the fence—Easton and I can get it covered.”
Once he was outside, Carter opened the browser on his cell phone and logged on to the mission’s website. Pulling up his application, he hit Submit and then shoved his phone back into his pocket. It was done. No turning back.
It appeared he might need an early exit anyway.
All his assumptions about Shannon’s actions and attention had been wrong. She wasn’t growing attached to him. They were coworkers who happened to get along and she was used to being around guys because of her brothers. Carter kicked a stone on the path, sending it rambling through the yard.
We can replace you in a heartbeat.
Thankfully, he hadn’t voiced his feelings.
Chapter Nine
The next day, Shannon woke to Rhett and Wade pounding on her door. Yawning, she scrubbed her hand down her face. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
In the distance behind her brothers, the fencing around the arena glowed white in a wash of morning sunshine. Carter and Easton must have painted it until sundown and she wouldn’t be surprised if Carter had already been awake and working to finish the arena today. Despite the chill of the morning, the sight warmed Shannon clear to her toes.
Yesterday after Carter left, she had taken his advice and stayed inside. It had been a good thing, too, beca
use she had finished confirming all the entrants for the horse show and also double-checked with all the booth vendors to make sure her rental orders for the tables and chairs were correct. She had designed some social media ads and posted them on all the ranch’s online channels and had written a press release, forwarding it to the local media. She had even forwarded the press release to news outlets in San Antonio. One of the posts on social media had garnered over three hundred comments overnight, and most were people saying they were planning on attending.
“We’re sorry to wake you.” Rhett’s voice snapped her back to the present.
Wade waved a file folder. “But you need to see this and it couldn’t wait.” He brushed past her. Rhett followed, giving an apologetic half shrug as he passed her. Wade dropped the file onto her table, flipped it open and fanned the pages out so most of them were visible.
Shannon rubbed at her eyes. Since she’d just looked at the brightness outside, her vision was trying to adjust back to the dim interior of her house. “What is this? If you guys are trying to drag me into one of those old mystery games we used to play, it’s not happening. You two are too competitive so it’s not even fun anymore.”
Rhett sighed. “That’s Carter’s criminal history.” They didn’t usually run total criminal histories for work at the ranch. Since they weren’t a long-term living facility, it wasn’t required by state law and their father had always believed that people who had made mistakes should still be given a chance. Before working, a staff member had to be fingerprinted, but they only selected histories to be flagged for felony charges or charges dealing with crimes against children. Misdemeanors wouldn’t have been noted.
She made it to the table and lifted the first page, but without her contacts, her eyes still hadn’t finished focusing. “I don’t understand.”
Rhett shoved his hands into his pockets.
Wade crossed his arms. “We had Donnelley do some digging.” He jutted his chin toward the table. “Carter has a battery charge, a string of thefts and an old restraining order.”
The sheet of paper trembled in Shannon’s hand as she tried to make sense of what her brothers were saying. But nothing they said fitted the man she knew. “A restraining order?”
Wade tugged a printout from the back of the folder and tapped on it. “Audrey Baker was the protected party. Has he ever mentioned her?”
“Never.” Shannon put her hand out, bracing herself against the table, but her legs still wobbled. She sank onto one of the kitchen chairs. “But these are all old, right? Nothing is recent?”
“Battery and a restraining order, Shannon.” Wade tugged on his hair. “The writing is pretty clear. This is Cord Anders 2.0.”
Rhett rolled his shoulders. “I’m afraid there’s more.” He glanced at Wade, who only nodded. So Rhett continued, “Seven different people have reported items missing or stolen at the ranch. All the items have gone missing in the month since Carter’s been here. And every missing item was last seen near Carter or the horse barn.” Rhett straightened his hat. “It’s too big of a coincidence, especially in light of all this.” He gestured toward the table. “We at least have to question him about it.”
This had to be a mistake.
There was no way Carter had been stealing from everyone.
Then again...she’d misjudged a man before and it had cost her dearly.
Gripping the edge of the table, Shannon looked back and forth between her brothers. “What are you saying?”
“We’re saying the man’s not welcome here any longer,” Rhett said. In an instant he went from concerned brother to formidable ranch owner. “We were on our way to tell him we strongly suggest he turn in his resignation, but we figured we’d speak to you first so it didn’t come as quite a shock for you.”
Her eyes burned and her throat felt hot. “Do you have any proof for the thefts?”
Wade touched the file folder. “He has seven theft charges on his record. That’s proof enough as far as I’m concerned.”
“That’s not proof.” She snatched the sheets of paper away from him and scanned for a date. Frantically, she flipped through the pages. “These are all mostly from twelve or thirteen years ago. Here.” She tugged out the restraining order. “This one is the most recent, from eleven years back.” She whirled toward Wade. “How can you of all people judge someone’s past?” She pushed against his chest. “We only have to go back five or six years to find a longer string of arrests for you.”
“I’m not that guy anymore.” Wade’s frown spoke his hurt better than words ever could.
“Neither is Carter,” Shannon said.
Wade spoke slowly, as if he thought she might not speak the same language. “We plan on searching his cabin for the stolen items. Let’s just say I won’t be shocked if we find them.”
“Shannon.” Rhett put a hand on Wade’s shoulder. “Don’t you think it’s odd that he rarely stays more than a year at a ranch before moving on? The only time he stayed in the same place was for schooling, but his address history showed he moved frequently even when he was there. Given everything we know, it feels like a pattern.”
“But I thought Carter was a good guy,” Shannon whispered. Moments from the last few weeks crowded her mind: Carter coming to her rescue with Cord more than once, and him encouraging her to reconcile with her brothers. She thought about the fact that every time she had confessed fears or worries to him, he had spent time building her up and telling her how strong she was. That wasn’t the behavior of an abuser.
Confusion was making her wish she had ignored the knocks on her door and stayed in bed. She pressed her forehead into her fingertips and groaned.
An arm came around her shoulders. Rhett. He pulled her gently into a hug. “It’s going to be okay.”
Shannon had spent her life looking up to her eldest brother and she found he was almost always right. But this time she wasn’t so sure.
* * *
Wing Crosby’s honk was full of indignation.
Carter chuckled. “Well, buddy, if you had just stayed where I put you instead of being a little escape artist, we wouldn’t be in this mess now would we?”
Last night Carter had set his alarm to wake up at four in the morning so he could finish working on the fence for Shannon. He wanted her horse show to be a success and if painting the riding arena was important to her, then he had been determined to get it done on schedule.
Of course Wing had gotten out of the barn and come looking for him like a lost puppy. The goose had brushed against wet paint and nestled next to a fence pole dripping with paint before Carter had noticed him. Subsequently the faithful bird had gotten his feathers covered in paint, which Carter knew wasn’t good for him. Geese preened and preening meant Wing would eventually ingest the paint. Carter wasn’t about to let that happen.
With Wing Crosby tucked under one arm and bottles of Dawn and Vaseline in his other hand, Carter headed toward the hose, where he had dragged a small trough. But Wade, Rhett and Shannon blocked the doorway to the outside, bringing him up short. Shannon had a manila file folder clutched tightly in her hands and her eyes were red-rimmed.
Carter’s heart lurched into his throat. He looked past her brothers, meeting her gaze. “Are you okay?”
Brow scrunched, Wade regarded him. “What are you doing?”
“Wing brushed against some fresh paint.” Carter lifted the bird a little so they could see him. “He needs to be washed.”
Rhett hooked one of his hands on his belt buckle. “Put the bird down for now. We need to talk.”
Carter set Wing on a nearby bale of hay. He glanced back to Shannon and the sight of her in distress tore him in two. “What’s going on here?”
Rhett stepped forward. “I’ve got a string of items that have reportedly gone missing. Almost all of their last known locations were at or near the horse barn.” He pulled the file f
rom Shannon’s hands and passed it to Carter. “We also pulled your criminal history. You gave consent as part of your application.”
Carter’s eyes narrowed. “I remember it said that would only be used during special circumstances.”
Rhett nodded gravely. “I would consider this circumstance special enough to warrant it.”
The battery had been during his senior year of high school. A kid who had bullied him for five years had jumped him in the hallway and Carter had decided enough was enough. One well-placed punch and the kid had been sprawled on his back, crying in the middle of the hallway. It hadn’t mattered to the policemen that Carter had been attacked first; by then the responding officers had recognized him as the homeless kid they were always chasing out when he overstayed his welcome in public buildings during winter. They had already labeled him as troubled and were happy to have a reason to justify their label. He wasn’t proud of his arrests, but he had only ever stolen things during times he was close to starving. And the restraining order had been Audrey’s dad’s way of flexing his muscles.
Everything in the file was true. But he knew that file didn’t define who he was.
Not that it mattered.
They would run him out of their lives just like the church people in Audrey’s town had chased him off in the end. Without asking him—without getting his side of the story—they had already decided who they thought he was. This was what tight-knit communities did and he had been stupid to believe, to hope, that Red Dog Ranch would be immune to such behavior.
They had decided he was trash.
He needed to leave.
Carter worked his jaw back and forth. “So you’ve gone and decided I’m the thief, then?”
Shannon reached toward him. “Tell them you didn’t do any of those things.”
In the end, his extra hours of work and dedication hadn’t mattered to the Jarretts. The honorable way he had acted with their sister hadn’t mattered. They had still judged him and found him lacking. Telling them he hadn’t stolen a thing in more than ten years wouldn’t matter. He could explain until he was blue in the face, but they had already passed judgment on him, so no, thank you. He would retain his dignity and walk away.
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