by Diana Scott
I walk around my living room biting my tongue so I don't start screaming. I'm tired of having to tell everyone that he was the one who left me.
“Past... past.... “
“Yes, past, and now what happens?”
“I have no idea, but it will be a matter of investigating,” she drinks some of her coffee that I guess now it will be frozen, while pointing the finger at me. “Now, you'll stop bullshitting and enjoy the moment. Use every opportunity you have. Good or bad, opportunities are opportunities. Do you want me to come back with you?”
“More than anything in this world.” I admit ashamed.
“Then go for it," she looks at her jolted watch. “I'm leaving because after last night I have tons of work.”
The woman gets up to leave and I feel terrible. She trusted my professionalism and I left, leaving her stranded.
“Solange, I don't know how to apologize to you,” I deny with my head, regretting my actions. “I have told you my problems and I have not been able to think of the damage I have caused to the Gallery. I'm really sorry and I would understand perfectly if you no longer wanted me to be the director of Tina Collection.”
“Cut the crap. On Monday I want you back at work and to answer the two hundred emails I plan to send you. After I was the one who took care of all the guests, you owe it to me,” she answers amusingly as she walks out the door. “And by the way, for the next meeting put on that black dress that suits you perfectly. I'm sure if Reed doesn't walk yet, he will," she winks a mischievous eye. “Anne! Do you still have the wish list?” She shouts from the elevator door, "Why don't you take advantage of it?”
“I have it...” I comment confused.
“Well, you know what to do.”
I smile without enthusiasm and close the door, leaning on it.
Who I want to fool, no matter Solange's advice, I will go to this and any appointment that Reed proposes to me because I am totally and completely in love. My fury and anger will accompany me in every clandestine encounter but I will go to one and the other until my heart becomes a sad dust.
I lie down on the sofa and open the agenda where I have hidden the famous list.
Fantasies not fulfilled
To be desired by several men at once. To feel like a goddess for whom they drool but who belongs only to him.
Embedded in an elevator, car (inside and on the hood), dark alley, terrace house ... (and everything that occurs to me from now on).
With morbidity, half hidden and with a distracted audience, in a nightclub, a disco and a party with many guests.
Dreams
Chocolate skin, abdomen marked with mischievous look and a little bad boy appearance (only a little).
The well-endowed will be welcome.
That he likes to dance. I love music, I want to feel alive. Yes, music is a must.
Those who like soccer on the sofa with a beer in a tin and smelly friends don't look for me. I changed my phone number.
With intelligent conversation. Yes, please!
Creative, with initiative, affectionate, sexual, impulsive and embedder. Fundamental. On second thought, if you're an embedder, I absolve you of everything else.
I curl up under a blanket while I read it with a pen in my hand. Dr. Klein would say I shouldn't do it, that I should think of myself, that I don't deserve to be treated like that but my body asks me to return to its side and my hands are dying to caress him. If I can't get away from him, I'll at least try to enjoy it for as long as it lasts or for as long as my damaged heart can bear.
With morbidity, half hidden and with a distracted audience, in a nightclub
✓ Compliments of Reed Blackman.
You play, I play
Our room, and which one of them is that supposed to be? Let's see Anne, think... I bite my nails with care not to stain them with the red lipstick.
The room of Solange's house? No, that can't be because it's not one of the rooms of the Temple. Self-esteem affirms giving me the reason. The Fantasy room? We were there together and it was great but I'm not sure it was that special. No, the room must be something special, something that distinguishes it, something that we both want and of course... Cinnamon Room!
Uf, uf, I shake my arms nervously before inserting my access card. Access allowed. Well, here I am. Here we go.
I curiously enter an immense room where the aromas of cinnamon envelop me. The light is tenuous and sensual. In the center, a large round bed and cream-colored sheets draw my attention from all views. I walk while I caress the delicate hand-carved mahogany furniture. I breathe in and the smell of incense mixes with cinnamon and vanilla, awakening each of my senses. A few aromatic candles are distributed throughout the room, all are lit, someone has taken the trouble to prepare every detail consciously. I close my eyes enjoying a sea of sensations and letting my mind wander enjoying the moment. One in which Reed and I are enjoying our love and in which I do not fear the sad reality.
“I knew you would come...”
“Why this room?”
“Because it is where I always wanted to have you and where you always wanted to be.”
His voice on my back bristles my skin as I feel his strong, rough fingers caress my shoulder and gently descend my arm. I try to turn but he won't let me.
“Because I am what you look for in a man, because I am the only one able to fulfill your darkest fantasies and give you the security you need.”
I feel his breathing in my neck and I know he has to be wearing the walking brace. I'm saddened at the moment, I want to tell him it's not necessary, I want to explain that I don't care about his legs, I only want his heart but I bite my tongue not to speak. If I want him back, I will have to seize every opportunity. I can't spoil it by talking about wheelchairs. I have a possibility and no matter how miserable and outrageous it may be, I will take it and let the world judge me tomorrow.
“Don't move, don't turn around and don't open your eyes.”
I feel him walking with confident steps and coming back almost immediately. My skin bristles as I feel his firm fingers caress my hair and lift it high calculating its weight. I move my hands nervously and I'm about to open my eyes when a soft and somewhat padded bandage covers them delicately leaving me totally in the dark.
“Shh... it's okay. Trust me.”
His rough, pasty voice turns me on just by getting close to my neck. The rough hands caress my back as I feel him open the zipper of the dress and feel him slide down my waist until it falls to the floor.
“Why should I trust you?”
“Because you know me better than anyone. You know the truth but you don't want to see it... because you are my weakness...” He clears his throat, hoarse of passion as he caress the softness of my black lingerie.
I close my eyes under the blindfold trying to believe him as I tremble with each of his delicate rubs. He lifts my long mane high and collects it in a high ponytail while the humidity of his breath caresses my neck.
“Come...”
His soft but firm hands gently bring me closer to the bed. I try to feel the distance from the mattress to sit. I'm totally blind, I can't see anything. I smell deeply and the aroma of cinnamon, vanilla and Reed envelop me in a cloud of sensations. I don't see him but I can feel him, his buds gently caress every inch of my body and I tremble wherever he goes. My skin becomes bristly and my throat dries up expectantly. I want him and I need him in equal parts. His touch is the oxygen I need to live.
“Reed...”
I babble his name trembling as I feel him get rid of my lingerie with the most delicate of movements. I'm in the fifth heaven and I don't want to land. The hard body touches the softness of my skin and I feel as passion wakes up in the humidity of my deepest being. I want him, I want him, I need him. Him and only him.
His lips make love to me where they pass while his nibbling teeth claim possession of my entire body. A sound wakes me from my daydream and worries me. What is it?
“Are you going to... to s
hare me?”
Fear is reflected in my voice. I don't think I'm ready for such an experience. Not now. Not after all I've been through. I love him with all his problems and needs but not another man.
“Reed, I'm not ready for...”
I bite my lip feeling that I have spoiled the moment but the humidity of his lips rests on mine silencing my fears.
“I go mad with the simple idea that someone else might have you as I do...”
They are so soft and fiery that my body twists nervously for such a wonderful delight. I forget my fears and raise my hands trying to caress him but he walks away and I feel the cold of his absence.
“Shh... quiet, wait...”
A hard noise indicates to me that the metal mesh of his legs has fallen to the ground. The weight of his body sinks the mattress and the sound of something mechanic approaches me.
“I'm not ready to share you either. It's just you and me, let yourself go...”
“Where to?” I purr mushy..
“Where only you can accompany me.”
His mouth kisses me passionately and I let myself go. His tongue runs through me and seize my tongue, which surrenders to its master.
A soft and velvety texture begins to move caressing my lips and slowly descends through my breasts taking out groans of pure despair. My nipples harden with his silky contact and my body rises to the top of passion.
“I think you have lied to me,” my words stutter as I feel the vibrator come down my belly. “You have brought a friend.”
I feel Reed's smile on my skin as he kisses the low curves of my breasts and continues with the sweet torment in his hand, bringing it closer to my femininity that jumps excited at its touch.
“No, not yet.....” I babble meaning it's too soon. I want to enjoy more but his perverse smile shows me that he is not willing to stop.
The warmth of his body sticks over me when his fingers and his new friend go inside me, making me moan with desire.
“Come with me, come...” The hoarse words spoken in my ear and the delicate movement in my clitoris make me fly farther than any reality.
“No, not yet... with you... I want with you...” I say as I twist behind the hardness of his pelvis that pushes me firmly against the mattress.
“Later baby, now I want to see you shiver under my body, I want to smell the perfume of your desire for me. Yes, this is my girl... let go... come with me. I need you...”
The vibrator moves with desperation inside my body. The touch of his soft body hair on my breasts, his hand clutching my wrist preventing me from moving and the ecstasy caused by the scent of his skin make my body twist with desire.
Reed grabs one of my nipples with his mouth, nibbling it delicately and wetting it with his tongue while his words incite me again and again and lift me up to the seventh heaven. I'd like to scream, free myself, beg but I can't, my choppy gasps don't allow it. Reed releases my wrist and inserts his hand between our bodies to remove the vibrator and I feel the emptiness of unsatisfied pleasure. I lift up my hips begging for more when his hard and sharp penis is introduced with force filling me up to the unspeakable.
The sensation is so intense that I throw my head back lifting my pelvis to bring it closer to me. I lift my legs and curl them around his hips in desperation to feel him even more.
“Yes, for God's sake...” Reed grunts ferociously when he strikes with all his strength inside me.
The mind abandons me and primary desires take hold of my being. I pant excitedly and eagerly as I cling tightly to his back. I bite, scratch and squeeze wishing time would not pass. His despair is as evident as mine and a fierce groan emerges from his throat indicating the end of our battle.
My body reacts to his cry as a slave to his master. The spasms begin from within me squeezing his penis to defeat him exhausted, and Reed cursed in a kind of crude, primitive sound before falling on me.
I want to say what I feel but I can't. Our hearts beat too fast and the rhythm of our breaths matches them.
Reed rolls to one side, carrying me with him to his chest, and falls asleep a few seconds later. I take off my smiling mask and raise my head to observe him while I delineate his eyebrows with care not to wake him up.
Tomorrow I may cry again, but today the world will stop.
Same time, same place
I run down the hallway and open the door hurriedly and with heavy breathing. I'm late and I'm really terrified that he might have left. I enter desperate when a pair of strong hands hold me and imprison me against the wall.
His mouth kisses me desperately and I understand that I am not the only one who was afraid not to see eachother again. He pushes the door to close it with a kick as he grabs my arm with force to throw me against the bed.
He is nervous. His hands become entangled with the buttons on my shirt while I do the same with his pants. His legs barely respond and I feel him fall on me but I don't care. The urge to feel is too powerful. The fear of thinking that I wasn't coming, that I had lost him becomes an uncontrolled desperation. Our bodies clench possessive and my teeth bite his shoulders in protest but he does not give in. He frenziedly lowers my jeans and I lift my legs by pushing them with my feet down to speed up the process.
His ardent gaze devours me as he lowers his jeans and boxer at the same time. They get stuck in his knees but he doesn't care. His burning body is placed between my legs which he opened hungry and crazy to feel it.
A single charge and I feel my body filled to the deepest. No kissing, no caressing, no lustful words, just the sound of two bodies bumping skin against skin.
We are two souls desperate to possess each other. Their passion surrounds me. I feel his murky gaze penetrate me to the depths of my soul. I notice his tremors in each onslaught, I feel his fear reflected in the tension of his arms. I cling tightly to his shoulders and scratch him with my nails dominated by the force of a rapturous orgasm that comes too soon.
I shout his name over and over again as he continues his defiant punishment. He is angry, furious and terribly excited. His masculinity continues to move in and out without compromise and my body stirs nervously but nothing stops him. He wants to punish me for the delay, he wants to make me feel what it means not to have it.
He puts his hand between our half-dressed bodies and caresses my swollen and sensitive clitoris looking for a second answer that does not take long to arrive.
I curse high as I have never done before, accepting my defeat when I feel him push with more power and spill his scent hot and endless within me.
I open my eyes looking for a little consciousness when his crystal blue gaze fulmine me like a sharp spear.
“Don't be late again... I can't stand it,” his tone, although he wanted to look angry, has not succeeded, grief and despair turned out to be more powerful.
The darkness always envelops him and I feel sorry for him, for us...
I sit without words while I close my eyes not to reveal my feelings.
“Marc, I don't understand a word you're saying.”
I click on my laptop with too much energy as I look at the wall clock throwing a clear hint. He has been overwhelming me with its madness for over an hour and I'm about to lose my patience. I snort frustrated, I don't want to get angry. Marc has always been a friend and I owe him my tolerance, even if my patience and laptop are gone trying it. I count to ten to speak with a better, calmer tone.
“You're crazy!” I didn't make it.
“Anne, my sources tell me that you have Cleopatra's Jewels and I need you to trust me and tell me where you keep them.”
The poor man has dark circles under his eyes and he looks tired.
“Marc...” I speak with affection and understanding, “if you're looking for a scoop you're in the wrong place. I hope to be clear enough.”
“Anne, if you're lying to me then it's too late for both of us...”
And now with the melodrama roll. I didn't remember Marc capable of any stratagem in order to get a scoop.
“You're looking for good news and I don't have it. Now, please, if you don't have anything else to say to me, I'm very busy. In a few days it's the inaugural auction and I have a lot of work to do.”
“So my sources are wrong?”
“Marc, please...” I don't want to lie to you, but I'm not going to risk my job for a stupid news in the Herald News.
When this madness passes him, I imagine he will know how to understand and apologize to me.
“Anne, you know that you have always been someone very important in my life and I wish you all the best. After John's, I feel that it is my responsibility to do everything that happens to you and...”
“I'm not your responsibility or anyone else's...” I get up and caress his head with affection. You're a good friend and I'll always thank you but I promise you that I'm fine and I'll take care of myself.”
“You can always count on me.”
“And I thank you.”
Marc stands up and embraces me with such affection that I respond with the same affection. Many years unite us, and there are many battles that without his friendship would have been impossible for me to overcome.
“We will always be friends.”
“If you need me I will be there. No matter what happens, I won't leave you.”
“I know but now stop fooling around or you'll make me cry and ruin my makeup. Did you wake up feeling sensitive or something?” I say in a funny tone while I look at him with affection wanting to break the tension.
“Maybe.”
My office door opens without warning and I see Maurizio petrified in the door. I imagine that hugging Marc can lead to confusion, but nothing could be further from the truth.
There was nobody there and I thought I could... I'll come back at another more opportune moment.
“It's not necessary, I was just leaving. Anne, take good care of yourself.”
“I will.”
Marc goes to the exit and Maurizio moves to give him space and close the door behind him.
