All my heroines, yes, even the Little Mermaid, even poor dull listless Sleeping Beauty, have given me this sense of possibility. They made me feel I wasn’t forced to live out the story my family wanted for me, that I wasn’t doomed to plod forward to a fate predetermined by God, that I didn’t need to be defined by my seizures, or trapped in fictions of my own making, or shaped by other people’s stories. That I wanted to write my own life.
When I first told my mother about meeting my heroines again, she said ‘And at the end, you become the heroine.’ I objected, vehemently. To be fair, all our conversations are vehement – we’re Middle Eastern drama queens, and we can’t help it. But also: she’s the heroine, not me. As a child I thought her life was fascinating but that mine would be safe and boring. My whole quest for fictional heroines began because I wanted to be a heroine like her. But I didn’t understand what heroism was. I thought my mother was heroic because things had happened to her. It’s taken me till now, at 37, after two years of thinking about my heroines, to realise that my mother is a heroine because of what she did. For all her superstition, my mother defied fate. She was flung across the world, ripped away from everything she knew, but she went on coping and hoping and making a new life for herself, living in a new place and in a new language. Like Scheherazade, when bad things happened, she didn’t become a victim. Instead, she wrote and rewrote the story of her life. That’s how she became a heroine. She improvised.
There are no regrets in improvisation, and no mistakes. All accidents are happy accidents, invitations to go in a new and exciting direction, to change the game. There’s a principle of improvisation that I think about a lot: it’s called yes and. When one performer makes an offer, the other must accept it (yes) and offer something of their own (and). Otherwise the improvisation gets blocked. And yes and feels like the secret of life, not just improvisation. We have to keep making choices, keep transforming. Scheherazade’s stories never end. Every story in the Nights opens a door that leads on to another story. I don’t know if I’ll get a happy ending. But why worry about a happy ending? Why worry about any ending at all? I don’t know where I’m going next, and for the first time in forever, I don’t want to. I want my life to be picaresque. Fantastical. I want to say yes and.
POSTSCRIPT
If I can’t exactly tell you how to be a heroine, I can (in affectionate homage to Nora Ephron, who put recipes in Heartburn) tell you how to make Iraqi Jewish marzipan: masafan. Of course, it’s my mother’s recipe. And it is heroically good.
Preheat the oven to 200°C and grease an oven tray really well. Mix 200g ground almonds, 200g caster sugar, two egg whites, some bashed-up cardamom seeds and a few drops of orange-flower water. Fill a bowl with water and another drop or two of orange-flower water, and dampen your hands in it, then roll the mixture into little balls. Pinch each one to shape it into a star. Sink half a pistachio into each centre. Bake for eight minutes, till they’re golden.
INDEX
The page references in this index correspond to the printed edition from which this ebook was created. To find a specific word or phrase from the index, please use the search feature of your ebook reader.
10 Things I Hate About You 123
30 Rock 214
99 Red Balloons 187
Ackland, Valentine 218
Agent 160 (theatre company) 234, 243
Ahasuerus, King 16, 17–18
Albee, Edward: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? 142
Alcott, Louisa May
Good Wives 42–3, 50
Jo’s Boys 51
Little Men 51
Little Women 42–52, 65, 89, 235
All Passion Spent 221
Alvarez, Al 125
Amis, Martin: The Information 169
Andersen, Hans Christian
Fairy Tales 19, 22
‘The Little Mermaid’ 7, 19–22, 23–6, 235, 243
‘The Princess and the Pea’ 22
The Snow Queen 22
‘Thumbelina’ 22
‘The Ugly Duckling’ 22
Anderson, Wes 114
Anna Karenina 95
Anne of Green Gables 6, 32–42, 233, 235, 240, 243
Anne of Windy Willows 104
Anne’s House of Dreams 42
Antony and Cleopatra 104
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret 72, 73
Ariel 125, 139
‘Ariel’ 137
Austen, Jane 78–9
Emma 215
Mansfield Park 69
Northanger Abbey 4, 6–7, 137
Persuasion 210
Pride and Prejudice 6, 57–71, 75, 78, 235, 240
Bacchae, The 149
Ballet Shoes 5, 151–3, 154–5, 233, 235
Barbara Pym Cookbook, The 227
Basile, Giambattista: ‘Sun, Moon, and Talia’ 12–13
Beckinsale, Kate 210
Becoming Jane 78
Behn, Aphra 234–5
The Lucky Chance 234
Bell Jar, The 5, 122–4, 126–7, 129, 133, 138, 139, 150, 235
Bell, Gertrude 208–9
Beyond Good and Evil 193
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls 164
Blake, William 232
Bloody Chamber, The 23
‘Bluebeard’ 23
Blume, Judy 57
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret 72, 73
Forever 72
Bonham-Carter, Helena 141
Breakfast at Tiffany’s 235
Breaking Dawn 77
Brecht, Bertolt 148–9
Bridget Jones’s Diary 223
Brittain, Vera 222
Brontë, Branwell 116, 202, 203, 205
Brontë, Charlotte 68–9, 201–2, 203–4, 205
Jane Eyre 1–5, 195–201, 203–4, 205, 223
Brontë, Emily 1, 201–2, 204
‘The Caged Bird’ 1
Wuthering Heights 1–5, 69, 116, 185–95, 201–3, 204, 205, 211, 215, 233, 235, 236
Brook, Peter: The Empty Space 144
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer 101
Bunyan, John: The Pilgrim’s Progress 43, 47
Bush, Kate: ‘Wuthering Heights’ 185
Byrne, Gabriel 49
‘Caged Bird, The’ 1
Callil, Carmen 118
Cambridge University 119–22, 144, 149–50, 155
Campbell, Joseph 27
The Hero with a Thousand Faces 5
Capote, Truman: Breakfast at Tiffany’s 235
Carson, Anne: Glass, Irony and God 201
Carter, Angela
The Bloody Chamber 23
Nights at the Circus 96
Carter, Lynda 10
Cartland, Barbara 191
Catcher in the Rye, The 108
Chaplin, Charlie 175
Chekhov, Anton: Uncle Vanya 144
Child, Lee: Killing Floor 231
Christie, Agatha 221
Cinema Paradiso 103
Clarissa 133
Cobain, Kurt 127
Colbert, Claudette 84
Cold Comfort Farm (novel) 209–15, 235, 236
Cold Comfort Farm (film) 210, 212
Collins, Suzanne: The Hunger Games 101
Color Purple, The 135, 236
Colossus, The 139
Conran, Shirley: Lace 6, 176–82, 236
Consequences 220
Coolidge, Susan: What Katy Did 5, 130–31, 132–3, 234
Cooper, Jilly
Riders 73–6, 180
Rivals 76
Coward, Noël: Private Lives 144
‘Cut’ 137
Davison, Emily Wilding 56
Delafield, E.M.: Consequences 220
Delaney, Shelagh: A Taste of Honey 182–3
Dickens, Charles
Great Expectations 219–20
Oliver Twist 71, 143
Dirty Dancing 156
Disney 10–11, 13, 14, 24, 187
Doll’s House, A 96–7
Donne, John 109, 111
Dress Reform 51
du Maurier, Daphne: Jamaica Inn 204–5, 233
Duffey, Eliza Bisbee: No Sex in Education 51
Dworkin, Andrea 22
Ecclesiastes 104
Eco, Umberto 191
‘Edge’ 127, 139
Edinburgh Fringe 144, 162
Ellis, Bret Easton 176
Ellis, Samantha
Cambridge University 119–22, 144, 149–50, 155
Candy Jar, The 142
childhood 14–19, 29–31, 55–9, 62–3, 105
editing 169
Florence, Italy 141–2, 144–5
journalism 174–5, 182
MacDowell artists’ colony 207–9, 213
Nutter, The 144
Operation Magic Carpet 38
Patching Havoc 183
play writing 142–5, 149, 160, 162, 183, 186, 208–9, 213, 219, 234, 243
poetry 34–5, 53, 84, 104, 125, 126–7, 143
relationships 103–7, 109–11, 127–8, 175, 187, 192–4, 213
religion 55, 103–7, 109–11, 114, 115–16, 219
seizures 129, 130, 131–2, 137, 149, 187, 213–14
Suckers, The 144
Emily trilogy 6, 52–3, 233
Emma 215
Empty Space, The 144
Enchanted 187
Ephron, Nora 100, 155
Heartburn 246
ER 174
Estés, Clarissa Pinkola: Women Who Run with the Wolves 186
Esther 16–19, 213, 238
Euripides: The Bacchae 149
Evening Standard 174
Every Night, Josephine! 168
Excellent Women 223–8, 236
Fairy Tales (Hans Christian Andersen) 19, 22
farhud 30
Fear of Flying 94–6
Female Eunuch, The 92–4
‘Fever 103°’ 125
Fiddler on the Roof 26
Fielding, Helen: Bridget Jones’s Diary 223
Firth, Colin 66
Flaubert, Gustave 108
Madame Bovary 95
Florence, Italy 141–2, 144–5, 149
Fontaine, Joan 200
Forever 72
Forster, EM 7, 146–7, 149
Maurice 147
A Passage to India 147
A Room with a View 141–2, 145–6, 147–9, 233, 235
Where Angels Fear to Tread 147
Four Weddings and a Funeral 50
Franny and Zooey 6, 107–114, 150, 235
French, Marilyn: The Women’s Room 96–100, 219, 235
Frost in May 5, 104–7, 111, 114–15, 117, 118
Funny Face 232
Gable, Clark 84
Garland, Judy 168
Gibbons, Stella: Cold Comfort Farm 209–15, 235, 236
Gilbert, Sandra: The Madwoman in the Attic 47, 69, 198
Ginsberg, Allen: Howl 121
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The 100
Glass, Irony and God 201
Gone with the Wind (novel) 5, 81–92, 100–102, 110, 150, 164, 235
Gone with the Wind (film) 84, 90, 92
Good Wives 42–3, 50
Grease 62
Great Expectations 219–20
Greer, Germaine 75, 102
Female Eunuch, The 92–4
Grimms’ Fairy Tales 11
Guardian 182
Gubar, Susan: The Madwoman in the Attic 47, 69, 198
Hall, Radclyffe: The Well of Loneliness 220
Hardy, Thomas: Tess of the d’Urbervilles 133–5
Harris, Trudier 136
Hart, Melissa Joan 123
Hathaway, Anne 78
Heartburn 246
Heller, Zoë: Notes on a Scandal 223
Hemingway, Ernest 95
Hepburn, Audrey 232, 233
Hero with a Thousand Faces, The 5
Hodgson Burnett, Frances: A Little Princess 5, 31–2
Hole: Live Through This 127
Holtby, Winifred 222
South Riding 221–22
Horses 231
Howl 121
Hughes, Ted 119, 121, 125, 126, 127, 139
‘The Minotaur’ 126
Hughes, Frieda 139
Hunger Games, The 101
Ibsen, Henrik: A Doll’s House 96–7
Information, The 169
Ingalls Wilder, Laura: Little House in the Big Woods 207, 208
Iraqi Jews 6, 14–19, 29–31, 55–9, 63, 69, 72, 128, 192, 235, 246
It Happened One Night 84
Jamaica Inn 204–5, 233
Jane Eyre (novel) 1–5, 195–201, 203–4, 223
Jane Eyre (film) 200
Jo’s Boys 51
Joan of Arc 232
Jong, Erica: Fear of Flying 94–6
Journals 119, 124, 126, 138
Judaism 6, 14–19, 104, 106–7, 109–11, 114, 115–16, 118, 155–61
Just Kids 231–3
Just Seventeen 83
Kael, Pauline 173
Kaysen, Susanna: Girl, Interrupted 127
Keaton, Buster 233
Keats, John 152
Kelly, Gene 157
Killing Floor 231
Ku Klux Klan 85
Kurdistan 192–3
Lace 6, 176–82, 236
Lady Chatterley’s Lover 218
Larsson, Stieg: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo 100
Lawrence, DH: Lady Chatterley’s Lover 218
Leader, Darian: Promises Lovers Make When it Gets Late 175
Lefroy, Tom 78
Leigh, Vivien 81, 90, 92
Little House in the Big Woods 207, 208
Little Men 51
Little Mermaid, The (fairy tale) 7, 19–22, 23–6, 235, 243
Little Mermaid, The (film) 24
Little Princess, A 5, 31–2
Little Women (novel) 42–52, 65, 89, 235
Little Women (film) 49
Littlewood, Joan 182
Live Through This 127
Lolly Willowes 215–19
Lost Traveller, The 115, 116–17
Louder than Bombs 183
Love Machine, The 171
Love, Courtney 127
Lucky Chance, The 234
MacDowell artists’ colony 207–9, 213
Madame Bovary 95
Madwoman in the Attic, The 47, 69, 198
Mansfield, Katherine 146
Mansfield Park 69
Mapplethorpe, Robert 232
Marjorie Morningstar (novel) 6, 155–61, 235
Marjorie Morningstar (film) 157
Mary Poppins 221
masafan (recipe) 246
Maurice 147
May Anthology, The 125
Meyer, Russ: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls 164
Meyer, Stephenie
Twilight series 76–8, 189
Midsummer Night’s Dream, A 70
Miller, Henry 95
Millett, Kate 75
Mills and Boon 203
‘Minotaur, The’ 126
Misfits, The 84
Miss Julie 133
Mitchell, Margaret 85
Gone with the Wind 5, 81–92, 100–102, 110, 150, 164, 235
Monroe, Marilyn 84
Montand, Yves 232, 233
Montgomery, Lucy Maud
Anne of Green Gables 6, 32–42, 233, 235, 240, 243
Anne of Windy Willows 104
Anne’s House of Dreams 42
Emily trilogy 6, 52–3, 233
Rilla of Ingleside 42
Moonrise Kingdom 114
Nena: 99 Red Balloons 187
Newton, Isaac 120
Nicholson, Virginia: Singled Out 220
Nietzsche, Friedrich: Beyond Good and Evil 193
Nights at the Circus 96
No Sex in Education 51
Northanger Abbey 4, 6–7, 137
Notes on a Scandal 223
Noye’s Fludde 142–3
Nutter, The 144
Oberon, Merle 185, 186
Oliver Twist 71, 143
&
nbsp; Olivier, Laurence 185, 202
Once Is Not Enough 171
Orbach, Susie 75
Orlando: A Biography 96
Parker, Dorothy: The Portable Dorothy Parker 162
Passage to India, A 147
Patching Havoc 183
Perrault, Charles
‘Bluebeard’ 23
‘The Sleeping Beauty’ 11–12
Pilgrim’s Progress, The 43, 47
Plath, Sylvia 119, 121, 122, 124–6, 127, 131, 136–9, 183, 232
Ariel 125, 139
‘Ariel’ 137
The Bell Jar 5, 122–4, 126–7, 129, 133, 138, 139, 150, 235
The Colossus 139
‘Cut’ 137
‘Edge’ 127, 139
‘Fever 103°’ 125
Journals 119, 124, 126, 138
Pollyanna 35
Portable Dorothy Parker, The 162
Porter, Eleanor H: Pollyanna 35
Pride and Prejudice (novel) 6, 57–71, 75, 78, 235, 240
Pride and Prejudice (TV series) 66
Prince Edward Island 35
‘Princess and the Pea, The’ 22
Private Lives 144
Promises Lovers Make When it Gets Late 175
Purim 16–19
Pym, Barbara: Excellent Women 223–8, 236
Quant, Mary 92
Rapunzel 14
Rhys, Jean: Wide Sargasso Sea 198–9
Richardson, Samuel: Clarissa 133
Riders 73–6, 180
Rilla of Ingleside 42
Rimbaud, Arthur 232, 234
Rivals 76
Romeo and Juliet 70–71, 74
Room of One’s Own, A 100
Room with a View, A (novel) 141–2, 145–6, 147–9, 233, 235
Room with a View, A (film) 141
Royal Tenenbaums, The 114
Rules, The 90–91
Ruskin, John 141
Ryan, Meg 155
Ryder, Winona 49
Sabrina the Teenage Witch 123
Sackville-West, Vita: All Passion Spent 221
Salinger, JD 2, 113
Franny and Zooey 6, 107–114, 150, 235
The Catcher in the Rye 108
Sarandon, Susan 49
‘Saving the Life That is Your Own’ 136
Sewell, Rufus 212
Sex and the City 214
Sexton, Anne: Transformations 22–3
Shakespeare, William 69–71
Antony and Cleopatra 104
A Midsummer Night’s Dream 70
Romeo and Juliet 70–71, 74
The Taming of the Shrew 82, 102
Titus Andronicus 21–2
Simone, Nina 232
Sinbad the Sailor 16
Singled Out 220
Six Day War 30
Sleeping Beauty (film) 10–11, 13
‘Sleeping Beauty 10–13, 22, 243
How To Be A Heroine Page 22
