by Stevens, GJ
“All I'm saying is there's plenty of nice hotels Exeter-way,” he said, leaning in, trying to peer past me and into the back of the van. “Where’s your man?”
“Excuse me?” I replied, the indignation in my voice not put on.
“Sorry, your camera man. I mean your camera operator,” he said, and I watched as he forced a smile to his face, his cheeks reddening.
I flinched to the police car as the passenger door opened and his female colleague stepped out, her chest barrel-like, not helped by the body armour.
I heard what sounded like something heavy dropping to the floor. The van rocked with the noise and footsteps walked from behind.
A deeper version of Toni’s voice came from over my shoulder.
“Camera-woman,” she said, and I turned to see her stroking a grey furry windshield from a stick microphone.
The policeman gave a wry smile, his eyes narrow.
Mine, too. She looked like a feral child and as she turned, we saw a line of blood dripping from the corner of her eye.
37
“Oh dear,” Mike said at the sight of the blood down her face.
I would have mirrored his words if I'd had any breath.
Toni’s gaze flicked between us, surprise not hidden in her brow.
“Are you okay?” the policeman said through an imagined strict frown, but my eyes were too busy pleading with Toni for some well-placed words.
I turned back to the man at the window, watched as he backed away with hushed conversation to his colleague coming around the car. His hand reached down, instinct touching on the top of his baton.
I thought about revving the engine. I could speed off down the track, but realised before my feet could react I’d switched off the ignition.
I turned to Toni’s high grin, her hand dabbing at her face before looking down at the sticky red on her finger.
“A box fell from a shelf,” she said. “Lady here wanted to drive. It's always a bad idea,” she added with a shake of her head and a smirk down in my direction.
I lowered my eyebrows to the officer, his face rising with a knowing grin at my apologetic shrug as his hand fell away from the baton.
“Looks nasty. Someone should have a look at that,” came the voice of the policewoman as she came into view.
“It’s fine,” Toni replied, smiling back.
The woman squinted at the blood, her fingers hooked under the arm holes of her stab vest. After a pause, she turned to her colleague.
“We should go if you’ve had enough of a look?” she said, raising her brow.
“Nice to meet you,” Mike said with a new distance in his voice and turned away. “Get that looked at,” he said, twisting round to Toni as he slid into the driver’s seat of the police car. His colleague joined him, the engine jumping to life shortly after.
A sudden bang on the back door snapped our gaze around and between the seats to the stranger on her knees, her hand slapping on the thin metal in Toni’s shadow.
I twisted around, my face full of alarm, first looking to Toni, but she was already between the seats with great strides to the stranger, whose head had turned around in alarm.
Spinning back, I watched for the police car to make sure they’d gone. Instead I saw their car rock to a halt, Officer Mike’s face set stern as he stared towards the back of the van.
I turned the key in the ignition, waved to the officers and pulled away from the lay-by. I wouldn't wait for their next reaction.
Watching in the mirror, I expected blue lights to flash, expected the car to turn and begin the chase.
Instead I saw the driver’s door open whilst the car started a slow forward roll. My foot lifted from the accelerator with my gaze fixed in the mirror, watching as the police car jabbed to a stop for a second time.
I stopped the spin of our wheels, barely listening to the scuffle of activity in the back or the muted argument with no voices. My concentration hung on the policeman’s walk.
Switching my view to the left-side mirror, I jabbed my foot back on the accelerator when I saw the bush move into the road. I realised it wasn’t the foliage advancing with bared teeth towards the poor man who didn't understand what approached him.
Pinned in my seat, something heavy fell in the back and rolled, thudding against the metal panels with each snap left and right of the wheel.
I forced the accelerator hard as I wound around the country road, taking every bend, every junction to put as much distance between us and the terror.
When Toni didn’t re-join me as the adrenaline faded, my need to know what was happening in the back grew.
Only when we entered a sleepy village did I feel my right foot lighten and the van slow, coasting to a stop as the road widened.
For a moment I let my breath settle, finding no danger as I scoured through the windows and soon I discovered we’d stopped outside a church with a steeple rising high in to the blue winter sky.
Movement caught my eyes and I sat up straight, ready to push the accelerator again.
I studied the figure’s walk, concentrating on the man in a long black coat and a black shirt with a white collar that reminded me of my childhood. It took several seconds with my gaze on the priest before I could let my heartbeat slow; before I could be confident as he drifted between the headstones he wasn’t someone who should be buried deep.
I stood, climbing out of the seat and turned to see Toni on the floor with her back resting against the doors. I couldn’t quite make out her expression, my body casting a long shadow.
Reaching high to the ceiling, I flicked on the light and gasped for air as I saw the stranger’s face held to Toni’s chest. A look of terror stared back from Toni. The stranger didn’t move, didn’t struggle as I watched with my mouth agape.
38
“She was going to scream again. She was going to give us away. They would take you back.”
Toni hadn’t moved her hand from behind the stranger’s head as I stared on.
“What have you done?” I said, my voice high as I kept my feet planted firm. “What have you done?”
“She wouldn’t be quiet. I was just holding her down, but she stopped moving. She stopped struggling. I wasn’t holding her that hard.”
“Maybe she’s okay,” I said, my legs stiff as I moved between the seats. “Let her go,” I said, leaning down.
Toni kept her hand to the back of the stranger’s head as she stared back.
Her eyes were wide, brow heavy and lips pursed.
“Let go,” I said, raising my voice. “What’s wrong with you?” I pushed out my hand to touch Toni’s, but before I could she pulled away, leaving the woman to slide down her body.
Turning as her limp form fell, the woman’s eyes were open and didn’t flinch when the back of her head bounced hard against the floor.
I stared at her bloodshot whites fixed back at me as if asking why I hadn’t done something sooner.
“What have you done?” I said, snatching a look at Toni. With her gaze fixed on me, she hadn’t looked down at the body. “She’s dead,” I said, glancing down. “She’s dead,” I said again, with a rise in volume when Toni didn’t seem to have heard.
“Look at her,” I said, peering down once more, but still her gaze didn’t follow. “Look at her,” I repeated, my voice high, almost shouting.
Flinching back, her mouth hanging wide, Toni took a tentative look down, but twisted away and scrabbled to her feet as she spoke in a hurried voice.
“She almost gave us away. I didn’t mean to,” she said, rushing along the van and between the seats.
I watched as she pulled open the passenger door and jumped to the tarmac. Picking myself up, I followed, slamming the door at my back, my gaze moving across to the vicar paying us no attention as he continued to ramble around the graveyard.
Toni hurried in the direction we’d just raced from, her head shaking and mumbling to herself.
Taking after her, trying my best to match her pace, I cal
led out whilst flinching another look to the graveyard.
I pushed on a fixed smile as the vicar looked up with concern in my direction.
“Toni,” I said a little quieter, but still she rushed on, almost running down the narrow road. “Toni,” I said as I caught up.
She didn’t slow and made no move to acknowledge she’d heard my words. It was only as my hand went to her shoulder she flinched at my touch and let herself slow.
I took her by the upper arms, turning her towards me. Her eyes were vacant as she stared right through me. A mumble of words came from her pale lips.
“Toni,” I said, gently shaking her shoulder and she saw me as if for the first time. “Where are you going? We can’t go this way, it’s not safe,” I said, pleading wide-eyed.
She blinked, twisted her head the way she’d been heading and turned back, her face so pale.
“I know you didn’t mean it. It was an accident.”
She nodded and I tried to convince myself my words were true.
“She would get us caught, then we couldn’t break the story and keep everyone safe.”
She nodded harder at my words.
“And now we’ve just got to deal with it.”
My words caught up in my head. What was I saying? Toni had just murdered someone and now I was telling her how we would cover it up. Didn’t that make me as bad as her?
Bloodied faces burst into my vision. Teeth snapped at me as I remembered how the world had changed. The world I lived in would never be the same, for me at least. I’d spent the day killing already, although they were dead before I did anything.
Toni had taken a life. Why didn’t I feel worse? I was going to help cover it up and I hated myself for the thought.
The roar of an engine caught my ear and I turned away from Toni, her head following. A Land Rover flashed into view, speeding around the corner, the side panels scraping the foliage lining the lane.
Great stone sections of wall scraped down the side, sparks flying as the driver struggled to keep control, the windscreen marbled with a hole in the centre. The Land Rover's direction corrected, swerving into the middle of the road, but too quickly. The wheels slid left, then right and for a moment I saw daylight underneath.
Taking a step back, I tried to look at the driver’s face. I took another step, my hands clamped to Toni’s t-shirt and I saw the red, blinking eyes of a soldier in the driver’s seat. He stared back, face white like snow, breath panting. In his terror he hadn’t seen us, or didn’t care.
With the road not much wider than the vehicle, I lunged at Toni, pushing as hard as I could towards the bush, but I knew there wasn’t enough time to save us both.
39
The roar of the engine thundered high as Toni dropped into the bush. About to launch after her, I watched with an ache as she stopped short of safety, her shoulder pushing aside the thick green cover to clash hard with a rigid stone wall hidden under.
With no time for a plan b, no time to change my mind, all I could do was brace myself for the impact and hold back any thought of the crushing weight heading my way.
I’d waited with my eyes squeezed closed for longer than the split second I’d expected for it to all be over.
I turned without thought, instinct taking control. My hands reached up to my face as the Land Rover collided with the wall, sending shrapnel bursting out from its front.
The fearful gaze of the driver stared back and I twisted, without conscious thought, letting myself drop with my arms wide, falling over Toni like a blanket.
Debris peppered my back as Toni writhed beneath my cover.
A few moments passed and I stood with the last of the shrapnel showering to the ground. I twisted and turned, easing out every new ache while I watched steam hiss from the crumpled front of the Land Rover.
With the ring in my ears only just settling, I helped Toni up and she lunged, folding her arms around me and squeezing tight, gripping so hard I felt like I’d been hit.
After longer than I should have waited, I peeled her off and turned back, remembering the poor driver who must have seen me, twisting the wheel at the last moment.
The front half of the vehicle had crumpled like a concertina, the front tyre flat. The rim of the wheel rested in a great wedge; it had been driven into the blacktop. Steam continued to rise, black smoke intertwining and no matter how hard I looked, the driver was nowhere.
I didn’t wait for Toni’s response before I leapt forward, gripping the door handle tight, my gaze flitting around the inside. There were no loose white air bags that should have saved his life. He’d vanished without a trace.
A groan pulled my attention to the field on the other side of the wall. I stepped back, shifting to the front of the crumpled bonnet, wafting away the blackening smoke mixing with the white of the steam.
Turning back to Toni wide-eyed, both of us twisted to the sound of movement and listened to the rustle of leaves and the scratch of vegetation on the other side of the wall.
As I turned, I caught a glimpse of the shattered sheet of glass resting flat on the bonnet.
About to turn back to take a closer look, I heard stones grind and rub together, jumping back just in time to watch as the wall collapsed into the field, stones falling either side.
Toni caught my arm as I was about to step through the settling dust and over the debris, about to race into the field to help the man who’d put himself into the wall to save our lives. I watched as she raised her nose to the air.
I took a tentative breath, coughing at the bitter smoke itching the back of my throat. Despite the caustic scratch, I could smell the rot hanging at the edges.
My mouth dropped and breath stopped as I turned towards the Land Rover and the crackle of flames rising from the edges of the bonnet to dance with the blackening smoke.
“Jess,” Toni called.
I turned without hiding my alarm and nodded whilst battling to keep my voice mute, not wanting to attract the attention of what could be the other side of the wall.
Watching the moment she caught up, her hand slammed to her mouth to cut a second call in half. Her head shook and lips bunched tight.
I turned back with a flinch as her hand gripped my shoulder. Stepping from the wall, I pulled at the Land Rover’s warming door handle, coughing as my grip got tighter. With the door holding firm, I jabbed at the passenger window, pointing to the rifle laid in the footwell.
Still she shook her head, pulling hard against my arm.
I relented, stumbling back, but as I steadied myself the body of the soldier lunged from the field, his face curtained with blood washing down from a slit in the centre of his forehead.
The solider fell towards me, his bloodied hand still warm as it latched on to my hand and he fell face first across the stones, dragging me down.
40
My gaze fell on the jagged patch of skin missing from the back of his hand as I lurched forward. I watched in slow motion as blood seeped from the wound each time his tendons flexed.
I glared on as exposed bones slid with its grip tightening around mine.
I didn’t panic. For some reason unknown I didn’t want to scream out. It felt like I was watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel.
My concentration drifted to the pistol holstered at his side as I saw the rocks rising to meet my falling body. My left hand swept from my side, but dragged back by a snatch of Toni’s clenched grip.
In amongst the struggle I caught the race of engines echoing down the lane, their volume growing each short moment between the pounding of blood in my ears.
I took no active part in the tug of war. I pulled neither hand either side until my attention snapped to the pain in my right.
Roused from the chaos, awed by the pain, my muscles tightened and almost effortlessly I pulled free of its grip, leaving its face to slap down to the remains of the stone wall.
Stumbling back, Toni caught my fall. Her arms were under mine until I leapt forward, righting my
self, not waiting to steady.
Instead I leant forward, bending to heave a great rock from the pile and pull it high above my head before letting it crash down. Flinching away, the legs shot up, then went limp as blood slapped across my bare shins.
Only taking vague notice of the great clots rolling down my skin, I tried to forget the squelch, the liquid slap as the stone hit.
With no time to pause, the sound of engines growing so near, I leapt to the rocks, pulling my glance away from the misshaped head. Seeking the soldier’s holster, I pulled the gun into my grip and was through the gap in the wall, turning back only to make sure Toni had followed.
We ran along the hedge inside the wall and despite my steady jog, I knew whoever was following, whatever was chasing after their colleague, they couldn’t take their vehicles any further than the Land Rover blocking the road.
Just as the thoughts were helping to slow the adrenaline coursing around my veins, I heard the aggravated bark of hungry dogs in the distance.
When down into a shallow valley we took our first opportunity to peer back and make sure nothing had followed, thankful we couldn’t see the scene we’d left behind and they couldn’t see us in return.
The pause didn’t last long; the breathy barks of the dogs in the distance helped us to swerve across the field, running until our breath couldn’t pull any harder.
Coming to rest well away from the hedge, together we leant behind a tall, wide tree, its branches gnarled and bare.
Taking solace in the silence and peering around the tree, my breath rattled my body as I tried to regain control whilst watching the vertical line of black smoke in the distance whiten and soon disappearing altogether. Listening for the snarl of chasing dogs, all I could hear was Toni’s deep breaths.
My view turned down to my feet and my ankles caked in mud, peppered with scarlet flecks of clotted blood dried hard, clinging despite my kicks as I tried to hold back the gag.
I turned away, looking around for something to help, something to wipe the mess away. Instead my gaze settled on Toni as she watched, squinting to where we’d come. Her breath had slowed and the darkness in her eyes seemed to have passed.
