by Stevens, GJ
I wanted to wave at the pilots. I wanted to see their faces so I could thank them. I wanted to shake their hands and put them on camera to tell the nation not to worry because they were on the case. I wanted to tell the world they had our backs, even though they were in no danger of contracting the terrible virus themselves.
With those thoughts running through my head, I looked back to the trail and counted what remained. A laugh lifted from my chest when I saw I only had to put two down with each of my shots.
Stepping back, I waited, hoping for the next launch to even the odds. I was ready to turn and take cover from the spray of barbecued stink.
The whine of the drone’s engine changed as I counted in my head, heart fluttering, optimism draining even before I twisted up to the sky. I saw its grey underbelly as it turned away, its thin wings empty of the long missiles which could cut the odds to something more manageable.
Pulling in a deep breath, I glanced behind, but turned away at Alex’s frustration. For the second time the jack ripped from under the van as she released it to stop it from sinking through the grass with each turn of the handle.
I closed my eyes and let my held breath out before drawing another, as slow as I could manage though my nose. I regretted the need to pull air when the foul stench came in the breeze.
Opening my eyes, I bit back the surprise as I saw the blackened pack had been closing the gap for longer than I thought.
The creatures were so much closer. In a moment they’d be in arms reach. I had to give Alex time.
I ran at a right angle, heading deeper to the moor whilst watching their heads for a decision; watching what remained of their minds choose who would be on the buffet.
I forced the decision, firing off a shot which glanced off the lead creature’s shoulder, despite knowing each shot which wasn’t a direct hit in the head meant increasing the number I would need to kill with each remaining round as its blood sprayed in lumps across its companions.
As the ground became more uneven, I had to slow my backwards walk. The first few stumbles were too much for my heart to take. Declaring myself as the tastier treat, I released off a second shot to reassure the handful whose decisions were waning.
The shot took down the lead twice-baked creature, tripping two who followed close behind which gave me a welcome moment to catch my breath.
With one eye on the rising van, I continued to lead them further away. With each step I felt the water still in my trainers and the damp running through my clothes, the rub of harsh fabric seams on my skin.
What I wouldn’t give for a rest, a cat nap then maybe a shower, or a soak in a bath surrounded by scented candles, drying myself with a fluffy warm towel and stepping into dry clothes not covered in decaying human flesh.
I thought of Toni; her smile as she knelt down beside the bath, her fingers dancing on the surface of the water, promising her touch. I stumbled back, twisting to see what had caught my foot with my hands wheeling through the air, the pistol heavy until it fell.
At first I thought it was a judge’s wig, then I saw the animal’s belly wide open; the great rend surrounded a cavity picked clean of the organs, blood and dark gristle clinging to the woollen edges.
I saw all of this before my ass hit the grass to send a jarring pain shooting up through my spine. I froze with panic as I looked to the cloudless blue sky. The view was all too soon interrupted with a blackened, bald head rearing down, its yellowed teeth poking out from burnt gums, snapping open and closed.
My eyes fixed on the pink of its tonsils as the sky blotted out. My hands were blind as they swept the ground for the gun.
86
The fingers of my right hand jarred against something cold and hard, curling around its irregular edges before I knew what I held; bringing it up before I could move my head. Leaving my coordination alone to draw the rock down on the wide jaw, I sent its blackened head twisting around.
With a second blow, my heels pushed hard to get a grip. The rock smashed against its temple and the thick blood spraying out was the least of my concerns. The charred once-human went down, its body dropping where it stood and its heavy head smacked against my empty belly to send a wave of pain and nausea up through my throat.
Still, I was more concerned not to feel its teeth unpicking my flesh.
When pain didn’t sear through my once-white vest I knew it was dead for the final time, or at least unconscious, if that was still a thing.
I had no time to think about whether they had a consciousness to come out of before I saw two charcoaled creatures taking its place in the attack, one either side with their hands out in front, lipless mouths wide as they mashed their teeth.
I threw the rock at the head of the one to the left, which I regretted as soon as my fingers released and long before the rock bounced harmless from the side of its face and landed with a thump to my stomach to force the wind from my chest.
With my hands flailing left and right, I couldn’t decide what to do next as the creatures loomed down.
My hand slapped hard against something white flashing by to my right, leaving a trail of fumes in its wake and sending pain radiating up my arm as nerves told me of the bones broken into too many bits from the impact, the stars in my eyes only confirming.
Despite the veil of pain pulling at my thoughts, I saw there was only one row of assailants left. To the right I could see the rolling hills of the moor with the village in the distance.
White flashed again. I heard the roar of the van’s engine, but this time to the left as I remembered I still had to defend myself, despite having only one usable hand.
As I looked up to the sudden change of colour, I saw the black of the creatures silhouetted against white, the large letters so well recognised hovering above its head.
With the slam of a door, Alex appeared at my side. She punched the last remaining creature square in the temple, then twice more before it went down.
Alex bent and I was on my feet, shoved in through the open passenger door. All I could feel was the oppressive warmth as we bounced over the ground with my hand throbbing as it nestled limp in my lap.
“Are you okay?” Alex said with hurried breath between glances shot my way, first to my face, then to my hand as I cradled it, wincing with each rise and fall over the uneven grass.
I nodded, gesturing for her to look forward, not wanting her to miss some other trap in the road; something else that would block our path or rip the wheels from the axle to prevent our progress.
With my breath settling, I stared at the strewn, lifeless bodies in the mirror, then watched them again as the van turned. The bodies were still.
I watched as we drove past the abandoned flat tyre, the block of wood Alex must have found in the back to rest the jack on top of to stop it disappearing into the grass.
The sky was clear until I peered over to the village, where the wind blew thick smoke in the opposite direction, turning the bright daylight to night. It seemed as if there wasn’t a single part of the horizon which wasn’t burning, or smouldering with toxic smoke.
I took hope. The bombing had worked, despite our breach in their containment. There were no undead still walking to greet us. Maybe, just maybe they’d put a stop to this before the end.
The pain had dulled by the time we were back on the smooth tarmac, with my gaze scouring the horizon and the sky for movement; for any sign of the living or the dead.
“Thank you,” I said.
“No need,” she replied. “You gave me the time I needed. I’m sorry about the hand. How is it?”
I looked down, afraid of what I’d see, but it wasn’t deformed or out of shape. The skin was darkening underneath and swelling as I watched.
I tried a tentative movement. I was brave enough to make sure I could see the first signs as I wiggled my fingers.
“I don’t think it's broken, but it fucking hurts.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied.
“Rather pain than death.”
“And,” Alex said, then stopped.
“I’m fine,” I replied, knowing she couldn’t bring herself to ask how I felt otherwise. And I was fine. The pain in my hand totally distracted me from any other sensation.
Her only reply was a shallow nod as her head fixed forward. She placed the gun which had been resting on her lap to the seat in between us without moving her view.
“What now?” she said, as she slowed for a T-junction with no signs showing the way.
“St Buryan,” I said, pulling out the Sat Nav from the glove compartment and handing it over to Alex after trying to turn it on with my left hand.
She nodded and found the town. Letting the minicomputer choose the route, she took the first left on the deserted road.
As the van rolled forward, I watched the numbers in the corner fall from sixty.
As we drove along, I felt restless in the seat. I couldn’t get comfortable, despite my fidgeting. It wasn’t the pain in my hand, but something else I couldn’t put my finger on that wouldn’t let me settle.
“We’re stopping for a change of clothes, too,” she said after a few moments.
I closed my eyes, the thought of the candlelit bath coming into focus.
“And painkillers and food.”
I let a smile bloom as we rolled down the narrow country road which was only just wide enough for the white lines to mark the two lanes. The stretch of my lips fell as Toni’s image appeared in my mind; her bruised face and curled lip drew my guilt back from where it had rested.
I heard her voice as she made the call which brought me here. The call that tempted me back to her. I’d fallen all the way down the rabbit hole at her command. She’d called me for help. She said she needed me, but was it the reason I came? Or was it the want of a story or a break from the monotony of my life?
Alex said my name, pulling me from the trance and I turned from the window, opening my eyes even though they hadn’t shut.
When she didn’t speak again, I drew back to the road and saw the junction leading four ways. I looked to the little screen and saw we needed to head straight over, but the giant concrete cubes blocked the way and even if we could get past, cars were parked the other side with their doors open, boot lids high, glass missing from the windows. Bodies lay across the road, more adding to the total in my head as the van trundled on, slowing with each passing moment.
I saw soldiers, civilians and a tear caught in my eye as I watched a young body in a red top, its colour leeching to the road. My gaze caught on a column of black smoke rising in the distance, then on another.
Five more fires scattered across the view, but it wasn’t until I saw a figure walking towards us from between the cars, a line of blue seen through the great hole in their once pristine white coat, that the emptiness returned to my stomach and I closed my eyes.
“Oh my god, Toni. What have you done?”
87
“Get the camera out,” I said, turning to Alex.
“What, here?” she said, staring back wide-eyed as the van rocked to a stop.
“We’ve got to film this,” I said, motioning out to the roadblock. “We’ve got to let people know. This is how we can help. This is how we can make a difference.”
Alex stared at me for what felt like a long while, but as we both turned to the figure, I could see she’d only made it a few steps closer to us.
Alex wiped her mouth on the back of her hand as she took a hard swallow.
“This is…,” she said, but couldn’t finish. “Back there…” she said, trying again. “Wasn't that the end? I thought we'd seen it all. I thought we were heading away from the trouble.”
I nodded. I’d thought the same. I’d thought we were in the middle, the epicentre, but here the military had been stopping people getting out of somewhere we wanted to go. They were stopping people going north and it wasn’t difficult to guess why they were trying to get away.
“So did I,” I said, sliding along the seats. I twisted toward her, sucking back the pain as I placed my left hand on her shoulder. “There’s no dressing it up. This couldn’t be worse. It could be the end of the country. The end of the world. But imagine if people could know what’s coming. Imagine if they had a chance to prepare, or to even just lock their doors because they know what’s heading their way. If we,” I said, giving as much emphasis on the words as I could spare, “if we could expose what’s happening and who’s pulling the strings, we might stop it from going any further.”
If only I could live through the night without killing you.
For a moment I wasn’t sure if I’d voiced the last words.
Alex looked to my good hand as it drifted down her arm and I pulled away, watching her brow lower.
“We need to tell the world,” I said. I wasn’t ashamed of the pleading in my tone. “We need to find those who did this. We tell everyone what they’ve done.”
Alex turned back to the road without a reply. I watched as her gaze fixed on the child’s body which lay alone. I watched as she followed the road before lingering on the creature, stumbling every other moment as it passed between the concrete blocks, its white eyes fixed square on our windscreen.
Alex nodded, but didn’t turn in her seat.
“But not here. We need to keep safe,” she said, her voice flat and void of emotion. “We need to find somewhere to rest and get out of these wet clothes.” She nodded as she spoke. “We need food and to figure out how these cameras of yours work.”
I looked out through the windscreen with a slight smile rising on my lips. She was right. If we did this right here, we were likely to mess it up through fatigue.
I didn’t complain as the wheels rolled; instead, I forced myself to look at the child and to take in her pale cold face. I forced the memory to form so I could describe her in great detail to the people of the nation.
We varied our journey more times than I could count to avoid roadblocks found at almost every turn, my gaze flitting to the rising and falling number in the corner of the Sat Nav and the sun sinking further with each passing moment.
A feeling nagged just out of reach.
After two hours we’d cleared ten miles, but we should have been in the hospital carpark setting up the camera rather than watching from so far away as the sun touched the horizon.
When we came across a lone cottage on the side of the road, we both agreed without words we should stop and do the things we knew we should.
Alex hadn't slowed the van for long before we saw the long line of blood covering the path which led to the front door.
Darkness fell soon after we moved on, leaving only our headlights, the stars and the moon, half bright in the sky. Alex drove with care, knowing we had no spare tyre, careful to avoid debris between the cars littered to the side, each pushed at rough angles down ditches and into hedges to clear a path.
With little other choice, she pulled the van into the car park of a wide single storey white building. The headlights were bright on its sign across the front, giving more than a flutter of optimism at the words ‘Cash and Carry’ in yellow on the dark board.
Alex drove around the perimeter in slow motion, turning the wheels for the headlights to scan every surface. The shutters at the front were down, but two wooden rear doors looked like they wouldn’t present Alex with much of a challenge. We parked around the rear.
“You got a toolbox?” she said, looking into the back.
I shrugged. “I guess,” I said, and watched her disappear between the seats.
The realisation of what had nagged at my thoughts sprang to the front when Alex switched the light on.
I saw the vial, or what remained, the red liquid soaking into the carpet and already drying around the broken glass edges.
My eyes closed and shoulders hunched as I realised this would be my last night on Earth.
88
“We have to do it now,” I said, as Alex continued to search through the racks lining the walls. “We have to…” I sa
id, but the lump in my throat held the rest of the words back.
Alex turned, dragging a small box to the floor which she placed next to the red mess on the carpet. She let the handle drop and turned up to see my gaze fixed to my last hope.
“Your medicine?” she said, her words seemed distant.
I gave a shallow nod. She kept quiet, not replying for a long moment.
“How long have you…?”
A shake of my head was the only reply for a long while as I stared.
“No idea,” I eventually said, closing my eyes and drawing in a deep, slow breath as I tried to relax; tried to slow the thoughts racing through my head.
How long did I have?
Could I feel it coming already?
The hunger felt obvious, a sensation I’d learnt to dread, but the emptiness in my stomach wasn’t alone, accompanied with a deep pain in my chest and a vacant chasm where blood forced out to my body.
“What can I do?” Alex said, her voice solemn as she put out a hand to her side.
I pulled back a step and out of her reach. “I should go,” I replied, with no time between the words.
Alex shook her head.
“You don’t understand,” I replied, but she wouldn’t relent.
“It's too dangerous at night. We’ll end up in a ditch on the side of the road or in the middle of nowhere with no chance of help. Is that how you want it to end?”
“If you knew the alternative...”
Alex took a step closer, her hands taking mine.
“You never said what happened if you didn’t get the medicine,” she said, squeezing my hands and drawing me closer.
I stood on the spot, taking in her words. I had to go.
“I think you know already,” I said, biting my bottom lip. If Toni really was still alive, I had to be next to her when it was all over, but I couldn’t have Alex near me when the end came. The plan formed as the thoughts scattered across my brain.
I would wait for her to leave to pick the lock. When the door opened and she was inside, I’d take the van and hope I could make it as far as the hospital. I knew Toni would welcome me in. I knew she’d be grateful to see me and then I would change. I would let myself go; go all the way without holding myself back.
