“Won’t she be recognized?” I had asked Nell about SuEllen.
“During my mother’s reign, maybe.” The queen’s face had looked bitter. “But by all reports, servants aren’t so much as looked upon now except to be on the receiving end of a noble’s wrath. Not to mention Auntie has been thought dead for over a decade.”
So here we were.
The other servants rushed hurriedly around, keeping their heads down. The guards were stationed around the palace at regular intervals, but they took no notice of another pair of servants.
Not that I had spent a lot of time in castles in my day, but this one felt claustrophobic. The hallways were broad and the ceilings were high, everything shining and pristine. But the people...it was like they were afraid to breathe, let alone speak or laugh.
It made sense, now, why this had been the optimal way to move about unnoticed, even for someone who had once been prominent here.
SuEllen’s grim face told me she had noticed also in the brief moment before we parted ways.
“Ten minutes,” SuEllen reminded me.
That was how long the general had said he could keep the hallway clear once BeLa sent him word we had arrived. Trusting that man with anything felt like stabbing myself in the eye, but there was nothing I wouldn’t do to get Addie back.
If the diagram was correct, her room was only about a minute’s walk from the hallway where I left the captain, in the opposite direction of BeLa’s. The neat sketching and labeling of the palace had been so familiar, it had nearly undone me.
Sometimes it was easy to forget it was the same man who had taught me to draw the layout of a room, the same man I had adored for my entire childhood who had destroyed so much of my life lately.
Despise him though I did these days, he had at least taught me the value of keeping my head in a mission. So, I brushed away those thoughts, instead putting every bit of my focus into my surroundings. I couldn’t afford to be distracted here, not with so much at stake.
Though the drawing had been accurate, it felt like hours striding with intentional nonchalance toward the door to Addie’s chambers. Whatever signal the General was looking for must have come through, because before I could reach the door, something on the guard’s wrist chirped. He glanced down at it, then took off down the hall, muttering something under his breath.
It took everything I had not to sprint the last few yards to the door. I lifted my shaking hand to knock.
Why is it shaking? This is just Addie. But I still didn’t know if she even wanted me now, after everything I had done. I had thought I couldn’t care about anything after my brother died.
I had been so, so wrong.
Because the girl on the other side of this door meant everything to me. I knew beyond all reasonable certainty that I would not survive losing her again.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked three times on the door. And this time, my hand was steady.
I figured it would take her a moment to get to the door, so it surprised me when the metal slid open only seconds later, an out-of-breath Addie on the other side of it.
Before I could react, she was tugging on my shirt, pulling me into her chambers and shutting the door behind me.
I drank in the sight of her tiny frame, dressed in sheer Levelian clothes I was sure I could get used to. Her face was free of makeup, and her hair had grown out enough to pull back into a short, spunky ponytail high on her head. A few locks had fallen down around her face.
Has she always been this gorgeous?
Merde. I had missed her.
She stood only inches from me, examining me as thoroughly as I was her. The hungry look in her eyes took away any self-control I had to not stray from this mission.
I pulled her into my arms, kissing first the top of her head, then skating my lips down her forehead all the way to her perfect, waiting lips.
She parted her mouth and leaned into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, and I actually lost the ability to breathe for a moment. I crushed her against my body until I could feel the gears of her locket cutting into my chest. I couldn’t bring myself to care, not when I had her here in my arms again, fitting against me as perfectly as she always had.
“I knew it was you,” she murmured against my lips. “Even your knock is cocky.”
I forced myself to pull back, to regain some control so we could get out of here in time. It wasn’t easy, taking in her wide brown eyes and her still-flushed face.
I smirked at her last comment. She bit her lip, and I had to look away before I started something that would take far longer than the seven or so minutes I estimated we had left.
“How could you possibly have known it was me?” I asked, mostly to change the subject while I went over to the small dresser near the bed, throwing things at random into the discreet satchel I had brought.
“Your father made a cryptic comment about it.” She sounded distracted, and I heard her footsteps getting closer. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t call him that,” I said without turning around. I tried to keep the aggravation from my voice, but by the sound of her footsteps stopping and her lack of response, I guessed I had failed.
Sighing, I answered her question instead. “I’m packing. We have less than seven minutes before the guards return.” There was a tube that looked similar to Nell’s healing paste. I threw that in, along with a couple of what I assumed were shirts and pants, since we hadn’t had much time to prepare.
All of that took less than a minute. We were down to six, and the short trek to the passageway would take at least two. Relief washed over me. We would be fine on time.
I turned around to realize she was still standing in the same spot. Usually, I could read Addie like a children’s book, but the expression of mixed regret and hope and fear on her face made no sense to me.
I had last seen that edge of determination, though, when she insisted on going over to my father’s ship. Dread filled my veins like ice.
“Addie?”
“You still don’t know,” she said.
“Whatever it is, we can talk about it on the road.” I buckled the satchel, then tried for a gentler tone.
“I can’t go with you. I’m sorry.”
I felt like one of Nell’s arrows had shot straight through me.
“Why not?” I finally managed to choke out.
“Seven minutes isn’t enough time to explain. I need you to trust me.”
Her words brought me back to the day I had almost lost everything. I spoke without thinking.
“The last time you said that, my brother died, and you nearly went with him.”
I remembered once Addie saying the best part of herself had died with her sister. Seeing the look on her face now, I wondered if the same was true for me now that Gunther was gone.
The Idealist
It was Anton’s first birthday without her.
His mother had died only a few months earlier, and he wasn’t ready to celebrate the first year of his life that she wouldn’t be a part of. He had never enjoyed the pointless ceremony anyway. She was the only thing that made the event bearable. A room full of people pretending to be happy he was alive, but who hated him on any other day wasn’t something to celebrate. He would’ve preferred to be in his room building robots with his mother than sit through the façade.
Anton wiped a tear from his eye before his father could see. The only light in his dark little world was his mother. She was the only person who had ever shown him love or protection. The only person he could truly communicate with. And now, she was gone.
He tried to ignore the empty feeling in his chest, the ache that had been there since the day it happened. But nothing could make it go away.
For all that his father had shown her no respect, he did seem to genuinely grieve her absence.
At least, he seemed angrier without her around.
“Smile, Son,” his father mouthed, gripping his shoulder a little too ti
ghtly. “This is your party. Act at least as if you are grateful.”
“Yes, sir,” the boy replied with a small nod. He forced the corners of his lips up into a tight smile that felt like a betrayal.
Anton sat alone at a long, spartanly decorated table in the middle of the crowded room. His father had invited every high-ranking official in the kingdom to Anton’s birthday, as though a seven-year-old cared about such things. Everywhere he looked, there were men dressed in military uniforms speaking loudly to each other, while their wives stood silently behind them.
Very few children were in attendance, and they refused to speak to Anton. That was fine with him. He was used to their strange looks.
But then again, he usually had his mother with him. He didn’t need their friendship when she was there. He didn’t need anyone else when he had her.
Anton glanced up at the plain white cake in front of him. This was the only time of year he was allowed the sweet treat, and it used to be the one thing he looked forward to.
But not anymore.
Images of his mother’s smile as she watched him blow out candles came back to haunt him, and he had to look away. How was he supposed to enjoy anything when she was dead?
Chapter Twenty-One
Adelaide
Some part of me had always known he blamed me for that day, but hearing him say it out loud felt like someone had carved out my insides with a rusty, serrated knife. That Gunther hadn’t actually died didn’t change the fact that none of it would have happened if I hadn’t gone over to the General’s ship.
Then again, they might have made good on their threat to sink our ship. Then, Gunther would be dead in truth, along with the rest of us. Even though knowing Killian now, I was fairly certain he would have never let that happen, I still couldn’t look back and wish I had made any other decision.
I had done what I thought was best at the time, just as I was doing now.
But there wasn’t time to say any of that. There wasn’t even time to tell him his brother was alive, not without risking him getting distracted and getting caught.
“We’re nearly out of time,” I voiced the thought aloud. “You need to leave. And I need to stay.”
“You honestly expect me to walk away from you when I finally found you?” His jaw was set, and I wished he wouldn’t argue so hard.
Doesn’t he see how impossible this already is for me?
“You didn’t seem to have a problem walking away from me before.”
Perhaps Clark hadn’t been the only one keeping his resentment on a tight leash.
His expression turned to granite.
“Last I checked, I wasn’t the one traipsing around at the king’s side while he as good as told all of Levelia he wants to marry me.”
“I should hope not.” I raised my eyebrows, trying not to rise to his bait.
“This isn’t a joke, Addie.”
“Don’t you think that I know that?” My voice grew louder, despite my efforts. “I have a plan, Clark. Just let me do this.” I didn’t, but now hardly seemed the time to mention that. Besides, I had the beginnings of one.
Clark examined my face for a long moment.
“All right,” he finally said. “Then I’ll stay with you.”
“You know you can’t do that.” I sighed, refusing to let myself contemplate the appeal of that idea.
“So, let me get this straight. You want to stay. You want me to go. But you want me to think this has nothing to do with him?”
“The king?”
He nodded.
“You know I never had any desire to be royalty. Why do you think I so badly wanted out of that life before?”
“I do know that.” His expression now could have rivaled my heiress face, cold, closed off. “That’s why I didn’t ask if you were staying for the title. I asked if you were staying for him.”
When I raised my eyebrows in confusion, he shook his head irritably again, finally spitting out what he wanted to know.
“Do you have feelings for him?”
I parted my lips, partly in surprise but mostly in fury.
“Are you serious? Are you actually asking if I’m in love with that monster? I knew you didn’t entirely trust me, but I didn’t realize your opinion of me was that low,” I fumed.
“Then why won’t you answer?” he asked.
Unbelievable.
“Because I shouldn’t have to answer! Because I’m not the one who indicated they wanted out of this!” I gestured between us. I could hardly see straight past my outrage. “Because I’m already in love with an arrogant arsehole, and it isn’t the king, you idiot.”
His impossibly blue eyes widened, and I realized I had never actually said it out loud before. I was still breathing heavily from my anger, and I told myself that’s why my cheeks were red as well.
“Regardless,” I struggled to make my voice even, “You have to go. Now.”
He didn’t move for another stilted moment. When he finally did, it wasn’t toward the door.
He closed the gap between us, backing me against the wall. He lowered his head for a kiss that was neither chaste nor gentle. I returned it in the same manner, as desperate for his touch as it seemed he was for mine.
“I just need a little time, Clark,” I managed to get out around my rapid breaths.
“All right,” Clark finally said through clenched teeth. “I’ll go. But you have one week, and not a single second longer.” He pressed his lips to my left wrist, the one with his name tattooed on it.
Tiny sparks of electricity went zinging all throughout my body before he gently let the wrist go, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath.
Indecision was written all over his face, but he visibly forced himself to turn around. Clark was all the way to the door before he turned back to call behind him.
“Oh, and Addie.” A familiar brash grin flitted over his face. “I love you, too.”
The door slid shut behind him before I could recover enough to vocalize any sort of a response.
Damn him.
I resisted the urge to run after him. Barely.
The Idealist
Anton’s brothers were pointing and laughing at him again, making sure to cover their mouths so he couldn’t understand. He was so angry with them. Not just because they were being rude on his birthday, but for how quickly they seemed to forget their mother’s absence. How could anyone just forget her? How could they move on when she was no longer there to tuck them in at night, or to comfort them when they were sick or hurt?
Angry tears formed in Anton’s eyes, and he clenched his fists. He looked away to reel his emotions in. He couldn’t let them get the best of him, especially not here. Not when it was his party and all eyes were on him.
Something moved out of the corner of his eye, and he looked just in time to see his brother Finn attempting to sneak up behind him. Anton groaned. They always did this, and it never worked. He had learned to pay close attention to his surroundings when those two were around.
When he couldn’t take their antics anymore, he made a frustrated sign at them with his hands, one that roughly translated to “go away.” A few shocked expressions in the crowd told him that his gesture had been seen. His ‘weakness,’ as his father would put it. Then, he noticed the gleeful expression on Kaspar’s face, and he realized that this had been their goal. Anton winced, knowing he would pay dearly for that misstep. His brothers loved to get him into trouble. He wasn’t sure if they fully understood the consequences he would suffer, but it didn’t matter in the end. He’d still have to endure them.
It didn’t take long for his father to rush to his side, a murderous expression in his eyes and the set of his mouth.
Anton didn’t bother to read the demeaning words that formed on his father’s lips. He knew the threat behind them. Apologizing, he excused himself from the table, making his way back to his room. An idea had been forming in Anton’s mind, a way out of all of this.
That w
as the only thing that kept him going when his father came to exact his punishment that night.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Clark
By the time I finally wrenched myself away from Addie, I had to sprint all the way back to the passageway, subtlety be damned.
I thought the movement might help me clear my head as well, but no such luck. All I could think about was Addie. She had changed so much, but at the end of the day, she was still the same girl who had tried to spray me with nerve gas without a trace of fear in her eyes.
Stubborn, reckless, brave. Enthralling.
I wondered if she would ever stop driving me crazy, if we would even have time to discover the answer to that question.
She had been lying about having a plan. I could tell that much.
I slowed as I rounded the final corner, cognizant of the end of my timeline. The guards would be coming back soon.
Was she lying because she doesn’t have a plan yet? Or lying about why she wanted to stay? Why stay without a plan unless...
No, I wouldn’t go down that road. She had said she loved me. Blurted it out unwillingly, but that just made it more Addie. More genuine.
I did trust her. Just not always that she would protect herself. She was so damned unyielding, she didn’t always know when to bend. And she was playing a dangerous game, one that could get her killed.
Right on time, a guard appeared down the hall from me. Again, though, as a servant, I may as well have been invisible. Once the danger had passed, my thoughts returned to my wife of their own volition.
Merde, I hope she knows what she’s doing. She didn’t, though. Then why stay instead of coming back to form a plan? The question was running through my mind on repeat. Was he holding something over her?
I slipped into the corridor seconds after the timeline to see SuEllen walking back the way we had come. There was a hooded figure next to her, and they were going more slowly than I would have expected. Maybe because they were waiting for me.
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