by Claire Adams
“I’m sure there were,” I said, smiling. “Every relationship is like that to a certain extent. I guess it just depends on the couple and how much they can really handle before breaking.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, shaking his head and stretching. “I don’t mean to bring her up like that. I’m sure the last thing you want to talk about while we’re on a date is my ex-wife and how our relationship went.”
“No, don’t apologize,” I said, turning to him. “You were married to Christina for many years, and that is a lot of history. On top of that, she is the mother of your child. I can’t expect for you to never think about her. I know that this a lot for you to take in, me being the first serious relationship outside of your marriage. I’m sure it’s only natural that you compare things to your marriage. It’s new and different. It was kind of like when my mother started dating your father. She told me that he would bring up your mother from time to time and then feel the need to apologize. She told him there was no need to apologize. It was his deceased wife. She didn’t do anything wrong, and my mother couldn’t expect him to just stop caring for her because she was in the picture.”
“You are too sweet,” he said, leaning over and kissing me on the lips. “Let’s go look at the bird sanctuary.”
“All right,” I said, watching him stand and then allowing him to pull me to my feet.
As we walked along, I watched his face wander back and forth between the present and the past. I would be lying if I said that it didn’t bother me that he thought about her while he was with me. Even though I had a feeling that he wasn’t thinking pleasant thoughts, it was still a bit unnerving. In the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but worry that starting a relationship with a man who wasn’t totally over his ex might be a dangerous thing. The only person there was to get hurt in that scenario was me, and I really didn’t want to be hurt by Ryan, unintentionally or not. However, what choice did I have? It was ridiculous of me to think that he would never think about her, and I knew over time, it would happen less and less until it was never brought up in his conscious thoughts.
As he grabbed onto my hand and led me toward the bird sanctuary, I took in a deep breath and smiled, shaking the thought from my mind. I was letting her win right then, allowing his ex to take up even a smidgen of space in my mind. There was no way I was going to let her scare me away from Ryan, even if it meant that eventually, I had to have a talk with him about it. For now, though, I just wanted to enjoy being with him and shake the anxiety right out of my stomach.
Chapter 17
Ryan
Kayla’s babysitter asked if she could take her to the zoo for the day since it was so nice outside. Immediately, I agreed knowing she would absolutely love it, and it would give me a chance to spend some more quality time with Alissa. I texted her and told her to come over and wear something comfortable. When she arrived, she looked adorable in a short pair of khaki shorts, a tight t-shirt that showed off her figure, and a baseball cap with her ponytail pulled through the back of it. She couldn’t have dressed more perfect than if I had told her where we were going beforehand. I walked over and cupped her face in my hands, kissing her deeply and feeling her lean into me, her hands running up my chest. On second thought, maybe I should just keep us there locked away in the bedroom for hours. I pulled away and shook that thought from mind, determined to share with Alissa something that I really loved.
“Where are we going?” She looked excited and nervous at the same time.
“You’ll see,” I said, bright-eyed as I shut her door and walked around to my side of the car.
She hounded me the entire way there, asking me questions and getting frustrated when I refused to answer them. There was something adorable about her and her anxiousness to know where we were headed. Her innocence was definitely shining through, and I found it absolutely endearing. As we pulled through the streets surrounding the city, she looked around wildly, trying to figure it out. I chuckled as I pulled through the parking gate and parked the car, looking out at the baseball stadium in front of us. It was huge and looming, and I could feel the excitement of the game already hitting me hard. It was Triple A, but I loved these games more than I loved the major league games. It was literally a situation where anything could happen, and these guys really played their hearts out. I had met a few of the guys in years past and found out just how little they actually made playing in the minor leagues. I knew that they did it strictly for the love of the game and the chance to make it to the big leagues. That was really awesome to me, doing what you loved regardless of the money. I guessed that even if landscaping was a modest income, I’d still do it. I loved my job, even when it was demanding and stressful.
She opened her mouth and clapped, looking over at me with excitement.
“Are we going to see a game?”
“No, I just thought we would park and make out here,” I said sarcastically.
“I’m so excited,” she said, ignoring my comment. “Come on, let’s go.”
I laughed as I pulled myself out of the car and walked over, taking her hand. She was bouncing up and down as we walked toward the stadium, and the smell of hotdogs and peanuts definitely got me excited to see the game as well. I had season tickets, though I rarely used them, so I pulled them out and let the attendants scan them as we walked inside. We made our way to the seats, right behind home plate, and sat down, looking around at the small crowd peppering the stands. These types of things were really hit or miss, and today, it looked like we wouldn’t be in for too much of a crowd.
The game hadn’t started yet, so I motioned to the concession guy going through the stands and bought us two hotdogs, some peanuts, and two beers. Alissa looked so excited, and I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. Once the game got started, she sat on the edge of her seat, watching every play.
“Steal home,” she screamed, clapping her hands as the guy raced toward home base and slid in just in the nick of time.
She looked over at me and lifted her eyebrows in pride, as if she herself had made the call. She was one of the loudest people there, but I loved it. It showed me that she was really into the game, and she was having a really good time. I laughed and smiled as she cheered for the mascot running up and down the field. He kept stopping at the ropes and high fiving Alissa, who I could tell was having the time of her life. She laughed hysterically every time he came over, and I considered throwing her on the field with him, but I didn’t want to freak her out too much. She was doing something I could tell that she didn’t get to do very often, if at all, and I wanted this to be a good chance for us to bond over something that we both enjoyed. She looked over at me, smiling, and shook her head as the mascot left the field.
“I love this,” she said, sitting back down and taking a drink of her beer. “Thank you so much! To be honest, I’ve never been to a ball game outside of my sister’s softball team when she was fifteen. It’s crazy to think that I’ve lived in Phoenix my entire life and have never been to a pro baseball game. I guess with my father gone and my mother not into sports at all, I was never really offered the option as a kid. As an adult, I could never find anyone to go with me and didn’t want to sit alone at a game.”
“Really? Well, this is semi-pro, but I’ll definitely make sure to take you to a pro game this summer,” I said, laughing. “In all honesty, I bought these season tickets for me and for Kayla. She loves baseball. I used to come to games on my own all the time. Sure, I wasn’t ranting and raving in the seat all by myself, but the feeling and nostalgia of it all was intoxicating, and I was able to forget about what was going on in my life for a little while. When everything happened with the ex, this was the first place I came, and I sat here, escaping the reality of it.”
“Well, I guess your escape could have been worse,” she said, smiling. “So many people turn to alcohol and other stuff when times get tough. I do the same thing as you, though. When things get crazy, I go to my mom’s house, find my favorite blanket,
curl up on the couch, and just relax there, not thinking of anything other than the fact that I was safe and enjoying my time.”
“I won’t lie, I did my fair share of drinking,” I said, shaking my head. “But I never fell to it to take the edge off or anything like that. I knew that I had Kayla at home, and I needed to get myself together as fast as I possibly could. I knew it wouldn’t be overnight, but I definitely couldn’t turn to something like alcohol as a coping mechanism. I almost feel like it was harder to get through in the thick of it all, but the grief and heartache lasted a lot less time, having to feel everything all the time.”
“You weren’t pushing it to the background to deal with later,” she said. “That’s good.”
She gasped in excitement and turned back toward the field as the players ran to their positions. It was the top of the seventh inning, and we were up by five runs. I had a feeling this game was already won, but I wasn’t going to spoil it for Alissa. It was really nice having someone to share the love of baseball with. This was definitely something that could help Kayla be more comfortable with me and Alissa dating. Kayla loved baseball, and part of me felt bad for being there without her, though I was loving sharing the experience with Alissa alone.
When Kayla was a really little girl, and her mother would go out with the girls, I would snatch her up, throw her in some jeans and a ball cap, and bring her out to the stadium. At first, I thought she only liked it because of the music and excitement, but as time went on, I realized she had picked up on the game and really enjoyed watching. The last time she had been at a game, she was standing up and shaking her little five-year-old finger at the referee and telling him he was making a huge mistake. She ended up on the jumbotron, and everyone clapped hard for her. She didn’t take crap from these guys. It was hilarious.
Kayla was never a daddy’s girl. She was always attached to her mom, but at the same time, she craved independence from the time she was old enough to walk. She and I had a few specific things that we really loved doing together. Baseball was the top one, followed by fishing, which was a once a year kind of thing, and going to the carnival together. Christina didn’t like any of those things, and I promised Kayla that anytime we were out at one of those events, there would be no lectures or talks. It would just be us spending time together. I could tell that it really meant a lot to her since my ex put a lot of pressure on her from the time she was a baby to be perfect at everything she tried, like it was some kind of competition between her and the other mothers. I looked over at Alissa and laughed as she stood up and booed the referee for a really close call. That alone got my mind right back on track and stuck on my girlfriend. I was really proud to call her that, and although I knew we were making the right choice holding off telling Kayla, I couldn’t wait to let her in on the secret so we could start doing things all together.
I now knew that baseball was something that three of us could share once we decided that it was time to tell Kayla about our relationship. When I was married to Christina, we went to a few games, but she hated it and always complained the entire time. Kayla tried to brighten her spirits, but she was just a little girl, and my ex was indignant when it came to not getting her way.
Even though I absolutely loved baseball, because of how Christina felt about it, coupled with the fact that it had been a seriously crazy year and a half, it had actually been a while since I had been to a game. I felt right at home, especially with Alissa next to me, laughing at the mascot and forcing me to participate in the wave, even though we were the only two people in the stands. She got a kick out of the fact that every time the camera panned the stands, we were always the first people to show up on the huge screen over the field.
All in all, it was one of the best dates we had been on so far, and I was able to really see another side of Alissa. Every time I turned around, I was learning more and more about her, and none of it was anything less than impressive. She was stealing my heart and doing it quickly. Although it made me nervous, I wasn’t going to let up in the least. Finding a commonality between me, Alissa, and Kayla was golden, and it was exciting. This summer had the potential to be awesome if Alissa decided to stick around in our lives.
Chapter 18
Alissa
I stood in the kitchen, pulling a few beers from the fridge and laughing about Kayla’s excitement that she got to go to the zoo. The babysitter looked frazzled and exhausted when she dropped Kayla back off at home. I figured if nothing else, this young girl being around Kayla all the time made for very good birth control. Being around kids like that was exhausting, and I couldn’t imagine how a seventeen-year-old girl thought about it. Ryan had gone upstairs to tuck Kayla in, knowing that she would fall asleep fast after being at the zoo all day. When he emerged from the hallway and back in the kitchen, I handed him a beer and smiled.
I ran my hand over the white sparkling granite counters and looked out at my handiwork. Obviously, I had seen it a million times since it was finished, but I hadn’t taken the time to really look at it until that moment. The cabinets were perfectly stained, and the granite made an excellent accent for the light color of the doors and shelves. I had taken the time to do the backsplash as well, and I was pretty impressed.
“You did a good job,” he said, clinking my bottle.
“Why, thank you,” I said with a curtsey.
“This beer is amazing after a long, warmer-than-I-expected day at the ball field,” he said, taking another sip. “I broke the news that I saw a ball game to Kayla. She was okay, though, because she got to see the monkeys and eat two ice cream cones. She is currently in a sugar coma.”
“That poor babysitter.” I laughed.
“Hey, she did it to herself.” He smiled. “I can remember the first time she watched Kayla. She had given in to a second piece of chocolate cake and then called me in a panic because it was ten at night and Kayla was doing laps around the house. I couldn’t help but laugh at her panic and then connection when I told her she gave her way too much sugar. Poor Kayla was like a test dummy for all of the babysitter’s mistakes.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling. “It was a really amazing day. One of the best days I’ve ever had, actually. You really made me feel special. You really make me feel special every time I see you.”
“You deserve to feel special because you are,” he said, turning to me.
“Well, you are doing a hell of a job at it,” I said, chuckling. “Most guys’ ideas of dates were the bars, clubs, and the one hippie guy who constantly forced me to go to hot yoga.”
“What in the world is hot yoga?”
“Think yoga in a sauna,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Either way, you have an amazing way of making me feel important and unique every time I am with you, so thank you for that.”
He looked at me for several moments, studying my face, and gazing deep into my eyes. He set his beer down on the counter and took mine out of my hand, setting it down next to his. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, sliding his lips down to the tip of my nose and then lifting my chin and kissing me gently on the lips. I stepped into him, feeling the affection between the two of us, and leaned into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Everything about that kiss signified the last few weeks, all rolled up into a neat package. However, as our lips pressed harder together, the lust began to seep through, and I could feel as he rubbed his tongue across my mouth, pushing my lips apart and tasting me. I moaned softly into his lips and ran my hands down his sides. My body pressed into his, and as I lifted up on my toes, my body rubbed against his hard cock.
My hand slipped around to the front of his pants and rubbed my palm up his clothed shaft, feeling his breath quicken as his mouth opened wider and our kiss became wilder by the second. He rubbed his hand down my arm and across my stomach, reaching between my legs and cupping my throbbing pussy. I squeezed his erection, instantly wanting to feel him inside of me. He pulled back breathlessly and looked around the room, grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me to
the stairs. He turned and pressed his finger to his lips before tiptoeing quietly up the staircase and down the hall to his bedroom. I walked in first and stood in the moonlight shining through his windows. He carefully closed the door and locked it before turning toward me.
I pulled my hat off and pulled my ponytail out, letting my hair cascade over my shoulders. Instantly, there was a rush of excitement between us both, and we ran toward each other, grabbing at each other’s clothes and throwing them to the floor. I reached back and unhooked my bra, allowing my breasts to bounce out, only to be caught by his large hands that massaged heavily as I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I looked down at his raging boner inside of his tight black boxer briefs. Instantly, I dropped to my knees and pulled on his boxers, releasing his cock and watching it bounce out toward my face. I licked my lips and grabbed onto the shaft, looking up at him as he took in a deep breath.
I leaned forward and pressed my lips against the tip of his shaft, feeling his soft, warm skin as I opened my mouth and slid my tongue across the head. He gasped and pulled his arms up behind his head, looking down as I opened wide and slid his cock deep into my throat. I grasped the shaft right below my mouth and slowly bobbed my head up and down on his cock. He groaned quietly as my wet mouth slobbered over his pulsing, thickening cock. I could feel his balls tighten as my hand slipped down and massaged them gently, my mouth still moving up and down him. He reached his hand down and pressed it against the top of my head, wrapping his hand through my hair and gently moving my face up and down on his dick. I liked when he took control, and I could feel a warm, wet pool collecting between my legs.
