“No.”
“You think Mathieu will leave you because you lost some money?”
“Not ‘some’, most of. If I sell everything I own including the rest of my investments I should just be able to pay Anders back. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to pay back Adrian. I’ll have nothing left.”
Mathieu pulled Solomon into an embrace, “You have me if you still want me. I’m not going anywhere.” Solomon didn’t return the embrace and Mathieu looked to Elise helplessly.
“How do you feel, Solomon, now that you got that off your chest?”
“Not much better.”
“But not as angry?”
Solomon shook his head, “No. I’m just grateful that Mathieu didn’t give me any of his money or I probably would’ve lost that too.”
“You can have my money now. I don’t know how much Anders and Adrian and you lost but I will give you everything I have to help you.”
“I can’t take your money.”
Mathieu said firmly, “You’re not taking it. I’m giving it to you. I want you to have it. I don’t need it and you do. If you want to call it a loan then fine but I want you to have it. At least pay back Anders and Adrian or just Adrian after you sell all your stuff, pay back Anders and move in with me.”
“Move in with you?”
That surprised even Elise, “Are you sure you’re ready for that step, Mathieu?”
Mathieu didn’t look away from his partner, “We practically live together anyway. We eat together and sleep together and spend most of the rest of our free time together so why not? Or we can move my stuff into yours, whatever you want. The only thing we’ll really lose is the use of a bathroom.”
Solomon finally smiled, “You’re furniture is more comfortable.”
It was almost time to end the session and Elise wanted to make sure they were in a good place before she let them go, “Okay. Can we refocus please?”
“Sorry.”
“Sorry.”
“Solomon? How are you feeling now?”
“A lot better but I’m afraid to tell Anders and I’ll have to face Adrian for the first time after what he did.”
“How do you think they will react?”
“Anders will be understanding but relieved I will be able to pay him back. He didn’t lose that much because he withdrew a lot to open his restaurant and most of his profits he turns back into the business. Adrian….Adrian, I don’t know, angry probably.”
“It will better for you if you tell them sooner rather than later.”
“I know. I’ll tell them on Sunday. I’ll ask Anders to contact Adrian and have him to come to the restaurant.”
“Are you more secure in your relationship now knowing that both of you have made a definite commitment?”
“I knew that if I kept up my behavior I would push him away. I wouldn’t have blamed him if he left me but I feel better now.”
“I never thought about leaving. I knew you weren’t happy about something and for a time I thought it was me. You had helped me thorough so much and I didn’t know how to help you. It seemed like everything I did just made you angrier and I hated when you yelled at me. It was worse when you’d walk away because I didn’t know what you were thinking. At least when you were yelling I knew what was on your mind.”
“I’m sorry I kept it in for as long as I did. I should’ve trusted you enough to tell you even if I was too chicken to tell Anders and Adrian.”
“Okay. I think you both made a lot of progress this week and at this session. We’ll meet the same time next week.”
Both men agreed and Elise was happy to see them holding hands and smiling as they left her office. The doctor took out a red pen and made a note to watch Solomon for signs of depression but she hoped that with Mathieu’s love and help Solomon could recover from the loss he suffered.
CHAPTER 22
Anders’ relationships with his friends grounded him in the real world so he didn’t become too focused on his career. He had never met anyone like Mathieu, so broken and yet so loving and open in his willingness to share thoughts and ideas on life, art, history (which Anders secretly shares a passion for) and Anders’ first love, food. The chef could only imagine how vibrant a person Mathieu was or could be again once his disorder was sorted out. Anders never asked about his disorder and for that Mathieu was very grateful. More than once Anders offered his new friend a position in the restaurant, whenever he was able to take it, but Mathieu always said ‘no thank you’. But he was more than willing and happy to make and try new recipes from home anytime Anders had an idea for something new to add to the menu. In fact, some of the things Mathieu had made Solomon for dinner had been at Anders’ request. The chef thought it was kind of funny that Solomon had no clue that he’ was being used as a guinea pig. Anders had been Mathieu’s shoulder to cry on over the past few weeks when Solomon wasn’t acting quite like himself. Mathieu told Anders that, aside from his relationship with Solomon, his friendship was the most important and meaningful relationship he’d ever had.
Solomon was one of Anders’ oldest friends. Anders had been present at almost every important event that had happened in Solomon’s life during and since university; graduation, first ‘real’ job celebration, milestone birthday, first love, first flat, second flat and second love. But the one event Anders wished more than anything he could’ve been there for was first (and hopefully only) broken heart. He was so involved in getting his restaurant up and running he shut his friends out for a while and that was his biggest regret. If anyone knew how Solomon was feeling he did and he was incredibly sorry he wasn’t there for the broken hearted man.
Anders met Adrian the same day he met Solomon. Soon the three of them were hanging out every day. Adrian was (and still is) less shy than Solomon; never afraid to voice his like or more often dislike of something. The Welshman had always been hard to pin down. You thought he’d go one way and he went the other. Anders had always been there after every one of Adrian’s transgressions; every drunken one night stand or short lived relationship. Anders always thought the accountant had an unrequited crush on Solomon but was still surprised when the confession of love was made. The chef didn’t know who he felt sorrier for, Adrian or Solomon.
Anders wasn’t a stupid man, far from it, and he knew that having a date in his own restaurant was a bad idea but he did it anyway (twice), (in one week), (with two different women!). During each date the chef was called into the kitchen several times; neither woman seemed to mind much yet every time he returned to the first woman he found more and more of his own steak was gone while his pile of vegetables grew and he looked up to find the blonde staring back at him wide-eyed with an innocent smile on her face.
The first woman, Elise, light haired where he was dark, fair skin, easy smile, dazzling intelligence, unexpectedly wicked sense of humor, melodic laugh, sparkling eyes and she knew her steak. The first woman was open and fun. She was easy to be with despite of or because of her profession. She wore soft colors to flatter her flawless, ivory skin and light blue eyes. When he looked at her he was reminded of the grace and class of a certain 1950’s movie star.
The second woman, Evelyn, was full of charm with an understated sexuality hidden behind a mass of long, dark brown hair, flirty gray-blue eyes and an impish grin. The second woman was more mysterious. She drew people in with her way of speaking and easy laugh and they needed to know more. She wore paisleys, plaids and florals in a more relaxed, office-casual style. She reminded him a little of a Bohemian artist.
Both women piqued his interest but in different ways. The blonde appealed to his sense of humor and intellect while sharing an interest in his profession. The brunette appealed to his artistic side and his sense of adventure. With the first woman he went to street fairs and festivals; they had picnics in the park where he read to her while she laid her head in his lap and when he took her to his favorite butcher he had one of the best dates he’d ever had. The second woman took him to the Ba
uhaus exhibition at the Barbican Art Gallery and introduced him to art bars where they laughed as they doodled all over one of the cloth covered sofas.
But when all was said and done the side of Anders that was a gentleman knew that dating two women at the same time was wrong and he had to choose one or the other. But which one?
***
Elise was very good at separating work from play. She never asked Anders about Mathieu and Anders never asked her. She had also been hurt by divorce but hadn’t let it affect her personality. She refused to place blame on her ex-husband for the failure of the relationship and had made peace with the fact it didn’t work out. Besides good steak, she shared Anders’ appreciation for jazz and her ideal Sunday would be one spent in bed all day in her pajama’s reading the newspaper, doing the crossword puzzle and watching bad movies on TV while eating all kinds of junk food. She would’ve liked to have had children but when her husband left she threw herself into her career. She had dated some since the divorce but hadn’t had any serious relationships. She found that the men usually were only seeking some kind of free advice or were only after her for the money they perceived her to have because she was a doctor. While she did have a tidy nest egg stashed away that would keep her in comfort if she retired she was not willing to make that fact known to potential suitors.
***
Evelyn was ever the dedicated, professional business woman running a very busy art department but she didn’t let the stress of her job control her personal life. She learned long ago to do her best to leave work at work. When the stress became too much she turned to her art. Her walls were lined with bright, abstracts in oil and minutely detailed water color landscapes. Anders would be more than happy to hang any of them in the restaurant. She’d had a couple of long-term relationships but in the end when the man decided he should be more important to her than her career she disagreed and they left. After the end of each relationship she went through a brief mourning period and then bounced back with a smile and the knowledge that there was somebody out there for her who would understand her need for balance between career and personal life without demanding more than she wanted to or was able to give.
***
Adrian knew he had to stop wallowing (and drinking) but he couldn’t help it. He knew he made a mistake that day with Mathieu but he still couldn’t bring himself to apologize. He was so tired of hearing Solomon go on and on about his new boyfriend and his problem it was driving him crazy and when he heard the Irishman say ‘I love him’ something inside Adrian just snapped and he figured he would help the guy out with a shove in the right direction (no pun intended) and he was in the perfect place to provide such a shove right out the door. What really bothered Adrian was that the problem wasn’t Mathieu. Mathieu was wonderful. He was attractive, thoughtful, kind, funny, considerate, talented, had the sexiest Irish accent and he cooked. He was perfect for Solomon and it broke Adrian’s heart.
The problem was Adrian had had a crush on Solomon since university but never told the object of his desire how he felt and now it was too late. Adrian tried not to be jealous or hate Mathieu but it was hard. The artist had something Adrian had always wanted; Solomon. Sometimes he wondered if things would be different if he had just told Solomon how he felt but he knew it was pointless. Solomon would never think of him as a lover or a partner. Mathieu seemed like the real thing; a keeper. The Welshman always hoped that Solomon would come around; see him in a different light, especially after what happened with Lee but Solomon never thought of him as anything but a friend.
Lee: that guy was lucky he was still alive because Adrian wanted to kill him for hurting Solomon. But Solomon, ever the valiant knight, told Adrian to leave it alone. So, he did. For a year the Welshman held Solomon while he cried and wondered why it didn’t work out; sat with him while he drank and ate his way through gallons of black cherry ice cream; threatened him when he tried to justify Lee’s behavior and blame the break-up on himself. And all for what? For nothing. Now Solomon wasn’t even talking to him. Solomon had Mathieu. Wonderful, broken, needed-Solomon’s-help, Mathieu. At first Adrian thought Solomon would get tired of playing caretaker but it never happened. And now Solomon seemed to be broken too. According to Anders, Solomon was having temper tantrums and attending therapy sessions with his boyfriend. Instead of Solomon ‘fixing’ Mathieu, Mathieu had ‘broken’ Solomon.
Maybe, Adrian thought, it was time for a change. He’d start with some time off, clear his head and decide what he wanted from life; cash in some of his investments; take a trip somewhere….New Zealand maybe.
***
Mathieu couldn’t be happier to have the old Solomon almost back. Solomon was still a little tense because he had yet to tell Anders and Adrian about the money but Mathieu was sure once that was done and the money reimbursed the old Solomon would be all the way back. Solomon figured it out and it wouldn’t take all of Mathieu’s money to pay the two men back (after Solomon sold all of his stuff). Solomon didn’t want to take any of his partner’s money but Mathieu insisted. The artist had been very frugal with his money even before his agoraphobia; no expensive holiday trips or cars or fancy clothes. The most expensive thing he had was his TV and even that was a few years old.
They were still debating who’s flat to move into. They agreed to keep the best furniture (Solomon’s bedroom; Mathieu’s living room) and sell off what was left over but they couldn’t decide which flat to keep it all in. Mathieu had all the bookcases that would have to be unpacked, moved and repacked (con); old appliances (con); carpeting (con to Solomon, pro to Mathieu). Solomon had new appliances (pro); hardwood floors (pro to Solomon, con to Mathieu). Mathieu’s was the place they agree they had their first date. Solomon’s was the place where they first made love (though technically it was on the bed which they were keeping). It hadn’t come down to tossing a coin yet but Solomon thought they were close to it. To Solomon it was really a decision between bookcases and appliances.
Solomon had loosened up about Mathieu going out on his own as long as the artist said where he was going so the last few mornings after he checked his emails he had been going to the park to sketch. Evelyn had a friend who wanted to hire an artist to produce a set of tarot cards and Mathieu, after some research, was attempting to follow instructions on some of the Cups series of cards. He had an idea for the image of the cup but he was having a hard time fitting all of them on each card through the series.
Mathieu had ordered lots of strawberries and had included them with every breakfast and in every dessert. He had even put some in Solomon’s new insulated lunch bag as a snack. They still hadn’t been to the restaurant to look at the collages yet and Solomon’s not sure Anders would even want to keep them after he heard what Solomon had to say about his money. Mathieu did his best to assure Solomon that he was underestimating the man but Solomon had seen how people reacted when they found out they’ve lost money and it usually wasn’t with a smile.
***
Saturday morning found the couple lying entwined on Solomon’s bed trading lazy kisses and gentle caresses. Neither man felt any inclination to get up and make breakfast though every once in a while they hear one of their stomachs growl. They hadn’t had this kind of intimacy in weeks and they’ve missed each other terribly. Their feelings at their physical closeness go beyond what they described to Elise at their first couple’s session they just didn’t realize it at the time.
Eventually their hunger won out and they dressed and headed to the kitchen. Mathieu had a new waffle maker he wanted to try. Solomon didn’t really want waffles but he told the Irishman he’d eat them if they could be chocolate chip waffles. Mathieu relented. Mathieu would always relent when it came to making Solomon’s favorites and because he wanted Solomon to be happy.
Mathieu began by sifting flour into a bowl and mixing in baking powder and salt. He set that bowl aside to whisk together egg yolks, milk, vanilla extract and melted butter in another bowl. In yet another bowl he whipped egg whites u
ntil they formed loose peaks; sugar was added and he continued to beat until soft peaks formed. The next step was to combine the flour mixture and the egg yolk mixture until a batter formed. One third of the egg whites were folded into the batter to lighten it before the rest of the whites were folded in. The last thing to be added was the chocolate chips. Solomon preheated the waffle iron according to the operating instructions while Mathieu was preparing the batter. When the iron was ready Mathieu poured on just enough batter to fill each of the holes; he closed the lid and set the timer for five minutes. He served Solomon his waffle with a dollop of fresh whipped cream and sliced strawberries.
Solomon deemed the waffles a complete success when he polished off his second one (just to be sure). “What would you like to do today?”
It had been a long time since Mathieu had had to decide what to do with his time and he wasn't quite sure where to start. He still hadn’t gone out into crowded places and just thinking about it made him nervous. While he thought he picked up the breakfast dishes to take them to the sink “Do we have to go out?”
“No, we don’t have to go out,” the blonde followed his partner into the kitchen to dry.
Mathieu hands over a coffee mug, “But?”
Solomon put the dry coffee mug on its hook, “But I think we should. You need to see if you can handle crowds and I need a distraction from thinking about tomorrow.”
“I can distract you,” Mathieu replied with a wink handing over a wet plate.
Solomon rolled his eyes and shook his head, “I set myself up for that just then, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you did,” Mathieu grinned and stuck out his tongue.
Solomon put the plate away, “Seriously though, I’ll be with you the whole time. We don’t even have to go far and the crowd doesn’t have to be that big. If you feel any symptoms we’ll come straight home.”
Mathieu turned his sad-puppy face on Solomon trying to get Solomon to change his mind.
The Sweet Tooth Page 19
