by Sherri Hayes
I was speechless, and so was Jade.
When he realized that neither of us was going to say anything in response to his confession, Cal stormed out of the room, and a few seconds later, we heard the front door slam shut.
While he was gone, Jade finished setting up my Skype account, and I sent the contact request to Stephan. Jade explained I had to wait for him to accept it and then we’d be good to go.
She continued to reassure me that Cal would be fine, given time. We both picked at our food, intermittently glancing at the door until the dishes were washed, dried, and put away. When we finished, I went to my room and sat on my bed with my laptop open, hoping that Stephan would accept my request.
That was where I was when I heard Cal return. He didn’t bother to come into the room to see me. Instead, I heard some murmuring and then the sound of their bedroom door closing.
I didn’t know what to do. Should I stay and wait for him to come to me, or should I go to him? I felt responsible for the pain he was feeling. Memories were powerful things. I knew that better than anyone. It was my fault he had to relive what had happened.
A sound coming from my computer startled me. I almost threw it across the bed, away from me, before I realized what it was. The Skype icon at the bottom of the screen was lit up.
My stomach suddenly felt as if it had a hundred butterflies in it, all trying to get out at once. Shaking, I moved my curser over the box and clicked on it.
Are you there, sweetheart?
Excitement surged through me as I placed my hands over the keys.
Yes. I’m here.
:) Good. Are you alone?
Yes.
I’m going to send you a request for a video chat. A box will pop up on your screen. Press the green button with the video camera, and then I’ll be able to see you.
Okay.
I’d barely typed out the word before a black box with two green buttons and one red appeared on my screen. Following his instructions, I pressed the green button that looked like a video camera. Seconds later, Stephan’s face appeared on my screen.
He smiled when he saw me. “Hello, Brianna.”
“Hello, Sir.” I smiled back at him. It was so good to see Stephan, even if it was only through a computer screen.
“Did you have any problems loading Skype onto your computer?”
I shook my head. “No. Jade set everything up for me. She said it was easy.”
It felt somewhat strange talking to him like this. I was used to being able to touch him and feel his body pressed up against mine when we had our evening conversations. I missed sitting with him in his chair.
“What were you thinking about just now?”
I looked up again quickly. “I was thinking that talking to you over the computer like this . . . not being able to touch you . . . feels weird.”
The corners of his mouth turned down a little. “I miss you being here with me, too. We’ll see each other soon, though. I promise. Until then, this is the best alternative.” He shifted, moving his laptop closer so that I could see more of his face. “Tell me about your day. What did you do after you left the hotel?”
“Not a lot. We came back here, and I read a little. Then Jade helped set up Skype for me.”
“Did you eat?”
“Yes.”
“Lunch and dinner?”
“Yes, Sir.”
Stephan smiled, and I felt a little flutter in my stomach. “Good girl. I’m glad you’re eating more.”
“I’m trying . . .”
“Continue.”
I looked down and tangled my fingers. “But sometimes it doesn’t taste good.”
“What do you mean it doesn’t taste good? Is the food bad?”
Glancing back up at the computer screen, I took a moment to study Stephan’s face. I wanted to reach through the computer and feel him. “No. The food is fine.” I wasn’t sure how to explain. “Sometimes it tastes like dirt or paper or something.”
He didn’t respond immediately. “Last night you didn’t appear to have issues with the food.”
“The food last night tasted good.”
Stephan’s brow furrowed. “What about this afternoon?”
I lifted one shoulder before dropping it.
“Use your words, Brianna. I can’t read your mind.”
Feeling guilty, I looked down again.
“Eyes on me, Brianna.”
Looking up again, I met his gaze. “The food tasted okay, but it wasn’t the same. I wasn’t really hungry, but I made myself eat something because I knew you’d be angry if I didn’t.”
“You’re right, I would have been. You have to take care of yourself.”
“I know. I’m trying for you, Sir.”
His smiled lit up his eyes. “I know you are, sweetheart. Thank you.”
I smiled back at him, again missing the feel of his arms wrapped around me.
“I know. I wish I was there to hold you right now, too,” he whispered.
We sat for several minutes, neither of us saying anything. It might not be what I wanted, but having him there on the other end of the computer made me feel so much better. I’d hated not being able to talk to him these last four months. “Sir?”
“Yes?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything, Brianna. You know that.”
Pressing my lips together, I debated whether or not to say anything about what had happened with Cal today. I was confused, though, and Stephan could always help me make sense of things. “Cal was really upset today that I was going to talk to you over Skype. He’d been upset about the hotel, too, but Jade convinced him somehow.” I paused. “I always knew Cal didn’t like you, but today he said something, and Jade pressed him about it.”
“What did he say?”
The sound of Stephan’s voice soothed me, and I took a deep breath before continuing. “He kept saying that he was afraid you’d hurt me, and then he told us about a neighbor he had.”
I shared the story Cal had told Jade and me, including the part where he’d come home one day to find the police and an ambulance at her house.
Stephan listened intently, not commenting until I was finished. “And Cal believes I would harm you like that?”
I nodded.
“What do you think?”
My eyes widened at his question. “You wouldn’t hurt me. I know you wouldn’t. And I told him that.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t. But knowing this does help me to understand why Ross had such a strong reaction to my being a Dominant. He equates BDSM with abuse.”
“Yes.”
Stephan leaned in closer to the computer, his eyes taking over most of the screen. “You did, too, once.”
“It was all I knew.”
There was a noise somewhere on his end. He looked up, over the screen, then back down at me once more. Leaning back, he sighed. “It’s getting late. I should let you get some sleep. I want you to do something for me.”
“Okay.”
“I want you to think about us and our relationship. You know I want you in my life—that I want you to be my submissive. I want you to think about what that means, and I want you to write down any questions you have for me. We might as well use this time apart to our advantage. Otherwise it’s just an irritation to us both.”
“What kind of questions?”
“Anything you want to know. Think about what you know, what you’ve seen . . . even what Cal has said. Make a list if you’d like, and we can talk about it. I want you to think about what a relationship between the two of us would mean long-term. What it would mean to truly be my submissive. I know you can be what I want and what I need, but this is something you have to decide for yourself. Is this a lifestyle you want.”
“But I’m not better yet. I’m working on it. Dr. Perkins says that it will take a while, but I’m trying. I want to be better for you.”
I notice a small reaction in him when I mentioned Dr.
Perkins. “Ah. Yes. Your therapist. You’ll have to tell me about her next time.” He paused. “For now, however, you need your sleep, and you have some thinking to do. I have a late meeting tomorrow that I can’t get out of, so we won’t be able to talk like we are tonight. Are you able to be online Tuesday night?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“Good. I’ll meet you on here Tuesday evening. Think about what I said, Brianna. I love you, and I want to share my life with you. That includes the kinky aspects as well.”
“Okay.”
Stephan smiled. “Good night, love.”
“Good night.”
Chapter 21
Stephan
First thing I did on Monday morning was phone Oscar. I needed his help in procuring Sarah a place to live for as long as she remained in Minneapolis. The conversation with my uncle had opened my eyes to the fact that her living with me, especially now that her pregnancy was noticeable, wasn’t in my best interest. I refused to let her go back to that hotel. It wasn’t what you’d call sleazy, but it wasn’t all that great either—especially long-term. Sarah still had no idea how long she was staying, so I wanted her to have a place where she’d be comfortable.
Oscar, who hadn’t seen Sarah recently since she always retreated to her room when he stopped by, wholeheartedly agreed with Richard. My lawyer said he’d get back to me in a couple of days, so until then, Sarah and I had agreed it was best she and I not be seen entering and leaving my building together, although that usually wasn’t a problem. She had her schedule, and I had mine. After our being seen together at the gala, however, I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before someone put two and two together.
Sitting down behind my desk, I swiveled my chair around so that I could look out the large bank of windows. I’d spoken to Brianna less than twenty-four hours ago, and already I wanted to log on to the computer or pick up the phone so that I could hear her voice. This separation was maddening. I wanted to know what she was doing, how she was feeling. I also needed to find the best way to tell her about Sarah before she found out in some other way.
I’d debated whether or not to bring it up last night, but given I had no idea how she’d react to finding out my ex was back in town, I thought it might be better to explain things to her in person. That was why, lying in bed last night, I’d begun brainstorming ways we could see each other. Going to a restaurant was out unless I rented the entire place for the evening. It was a possibility, but I wanted to explore other options. Dinner at a restaurant, no matter how private I tried to make it, would still mean other people would be around.
The telephone on my desk rang, forcing me to push my thoughts of Brianna to the back of my mind and focus on work. I needed to get through this day. My afternoon was booked with back-to-back meetings. After that, I had a business dinner scheduled with a couple who’d expressed interest in contributing significantly to The Coleman Foundation and our work with some of the local free clinics. As much as I’d rather spend my evening talking to Brianna, I couldn’t neglect my job—especially now, when everyone’s eyes were on me. I only wished things were different, and she could be there with me.
***
“It’s nice to finally meet you in person, Mr. Coleman. My wife and I have heard good things about your foundation.”
Caleb Haase smiled politely from across the table. He was older, probably in his early sixties, as was his wife. His crisp suit was a visible sign of wealth broadcast for all to see. I didn’t tend to flaunt the fact that I had money most of the time. Yes, I dressed well, but while my suits were tailored to fit, they didn’t cost as much as some cars.
“Thank you. We do try to help as many people as we can. Our teamwork with the local hospitals and clinics has been paramount to that effort.”
The server, a man about my age, delivered our drinks and then discreetly left the table. The Haases had chosen the location for tonight’s dinner. It was one of the most expensive restaurants in the Twin Cities. If the smallest crumb was dropped on the table, someone on the staff was there to sweep it up moments later. It was overly pretentious.
Vivian Haase took a sip of her fruity cocktail, her diamond jewelry reflecting off the light in the room and drawing attention from anyone who happened to be watching. “That’s how we heard about you, you know. A doctor friend of ours works at one of the free clinics. When we mentioned wanting to help, he suggested we look into The Coleman Foundation. What we’ve learned so far has impressed us.” She paused and pursed her lips. “I was happy to hear that rumor about you being involved in . . . shall we call them ‘unsavory’ activities . . . has been put to rest.” She took another drink. “For the most part anyway. You’ll always have the stray dog now and then trying to dig up a story just to cause trouble.”
When the Haases had first requested we meet over dinner rather than at my office, I’d thought it was merely a personal preference. I was swiftly realizing this meeting wasn’t really about The Coleman Foundation. Well, it was, but only indirectly. This was an interview of my character. If they found me suitable, they would donate to the foundation. If they didn’t, they would take their money elsewhere.
It was a common game in these types of social circles, but one I tried to avoid whenever possible. I had to make a decision. Did I play their game and get the money for the foundation, or did I stand up and walk out with my pride. It was a difficult quandary.
“Yes, we thought maybe you’d be bringing your girlfriend tonight—the one you brought to the gala Saturday night. She’s very pretty. Have you been seeing each other long?”
The ease with which Mrs. Haase was trying to weasel her way into my personal life astounded me. “She’s just a friend from my college days.” I quickly tried to redirect the subject. “Did you attend the gala, then?”
“Oh, heavens no. We would have been polite enough to introduce ourselves if we had. No. Caleb was catching up on his reading Sunday morning and saw your picture in the paper. I couldn’t help but notice you and the young lady you were with.”
I tried to school my features and not react to her news. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised, finding out Sarah and I had been photographed together at the gala took me by surprise. We’d arrived before everyone else, and I hadn’t noticed anyone snapping a picture beforehand. That meant someone inside the ballroom had taken the picture.
Luck was on my side, and the server appeared with our first course, meaning I could refrain from responding while he was there. I took the opportunity the lull in conversation provided to change the subject. “The last time we talked, you mentioned wanting to help specifically with the free clinic aspect of the foundation’s work. Is that still the direction you’re leaning?”
I said a silent thank you when Mr. Haase took the bait and began telling me about their doctor-friend’s work and how it had it had inspired them. Thankfully we made it through the rest of dinner without delving back into my personal life.
It was well after ten before I made it back home. The lights were out, so I figured Sarah was already upstairs asleep. She’d been working at Daren’s friend’s office a lot recently. No doubt she would be up early to head there again.
The dinner had gone on longer than I’d anticipated. We had been served five courses over two and a half hours. By the time it was over, I could safely say the Haases were not my kind of people. I got the impression they gave of their money so they could brag about how generous they were to their friends. People like that irritated me, but I wasn’t stupid enough to turn down their money, either. There were people out there—more every day it seemed—who couldn’t afford basic healthcare, not to mention long-term care that was sometimes needed. Although it wasn’t a part of my job I liked, I would smile and play nice with people like the Haases for the greater good.
After grabbing a drink of water, I ambled into my bedroom, undressed, and took a shower.
Showers were never the same without Brianna. Every time I stepped inside the marble encl
osure, I was assaulted with memories of my time there with her. Closing my eyes, I could almost hear the sound of her breathing in my ear . . . her moans as I stroked and caressed her.
I leaned forward and rested my head against my forearms—the cool tile a stark contrast to the heated water spraying across my back. My body betrayed me as my cock stiffened at the thought of Brianna warm and wet beneath my hands, even as my chest clenched painfully with the knowledge that she wasn’t here.
Breathing in a deep lungful of moist air, I pushed myself away from the wall and farther into the spray. She and I would get through this. We had to. Seeing her again had only confirmed what I’d already known. There was no way I could live without her being a part of my life.
The next day seemed to drag. Every time I looked at the clock, barely any time had passed. By five o’clock I was practically bouncing in my seat like an anxious toddler. It was shocking, the level of effect Brianna had over me, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
When I arrived home, Sarah was in the kitchen making something on the stove. She took one look at me and smiled a knowing smile. “I got home a little early today, so I made some soup. Nothing fancy, but I figured it was better than takeout.”
I wasn’t all that concerned with food, but I didn’t want to be rude. “Smells good. Do you need any help?”
She shook her head. “Nah. I got this. I was just going to chop up the rest of the chicken and make us some sandwiches to go with it. Did you want one or two?”
“One’s fine. Thank you.” I wasn’t even sure I could force one down my throat. It wasn’t that Sarah was a horrible cook. She was decent—better than I remembered her being—but the last thing I wanted to do was eat. I knew I had to be patient, though. Brianna needed to eat dinner as well, so logging on to Skype early was only going to either pull her away from her meal or be a long, drawn-out frustration.
