I turned and studied him. "Why don't you give in?"
Toby closed his eyes. "It certainly wouldn't be appropriate for a student-teacher relationship."
"We both know this goes way beyond that." I reached for his beard and ran my palm over it. "Have I ever seen it this long?"
"No, I like to keep it short."
"It's kind of sexy."
His face broke into a wide smile. "You say you want me to let go of all restraint?"
I bit my lower lip. "Maybe it'll help restore my memories."
Toby swallowed, making his Adam's apple bob up and down. "You don't know what you're asking."
I leaned closer to his face. "But I want to find out."
"Are you sure?"
"Wholly."
Toby reached under my arms and stood, lifting me into the air. He spun me in circles and then pulled me down against him. "I can't tell you how long I've waited to do this." He pressed his lips on mine and spun around again, stopping in front of a wall. Desire burned in his eyes and he pinned me against the house, kissing me again, but taking it deeper this time. His arms wrapped tightly around me and one leg curled around me.
My heart raced and I kissed him back greedily. It was like a well-choreographed dance that had been practiced for hours on end. I explored his mouth—the tastes so familiar, his aroma like a trip back in time. My hands went to the back of his neck and my fingers ran themselves through his soft hair.
This was what I was meant for—he was what was missing from my life. Even if no other memory ever surfaced again, I had all I ever needed.
His hands moved to my hair, pulling it back. "Is this okay?" he whispered.
I grabbed his face and pulled him into another exploratory kiss. His hands moved down to my waist and rested there.
A moment later, he pulled back and gasped for air. "That was just like old times."
"Let's bring the past to life." I kissed his ear. "Help me restore my memories."
"We should slow down."
"Now?" I exclaimed.
He nodded toward the window. "We have an audience."
Five faces were pressed against the window.
I turned back to him. "I don't care."
Toby took a deep breath. "I need a moment." He took my hand and led me back to the bench.
Groans sounded from inside.
Toby rested his hand on my leg, just above the knee. "That was… It was like… like no time had passed."
"How much time has passed?"
He squeezed my leg and gazed into my eyes. "Years."
I paused, doing the math. "That doesn't add up, especially given the age difference."
Toby's smile faded. "There is no age gap."
"Wait, what?"
"It's complicated. I don't know where to begin."
"How about with how a college professor has no age difference from someone who just graduated high school?"
He kissed the top of my head. "You didn't just graduate, sweetness."
"When did I?"
"Like I said, years ago."
I tilted my head. "I don't understand."
Tears shone in his eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Promise to keep an open mind?" His voice wavered.
My heart shattered, seeing him in pain. "After everything I've been through, that shouldn't be hard."
Toby cleared his throat. "You died some decades ago."
"Died?"
"In my arms. I never thought I would get to see you again."
I stared at him, trying to make sense of it. "How is that possible?"
"The easy answer is that you were brought back to life."
"Is that why I can't remember anything?"
He shook his head.
"How do you know?" Everything seemed to spin around us. I clung to him.
Toby held me tighter. "Because others came back to life around the same time as you, and they all remember everything."
My mouth dropped.
"Like I said, everything is really complicated. I don't want to drop it all on you right now. Hopefully it'll all come together when your memories return."
White dots danced around in the air. My eyes fluttered and I fell toward Toby's chest just as everything turned black.
I woke up in an unfamiliar bed and sat bolt upright, gasping for air. The room was pretty, decorated in lavender and silver hues with the sun shining in brightly.
It took me a minute to remember everything that had happened before I blacked out. Everything came flooding back—well, not everything, everything. My life before college was still a mystery, but I recalled finding Toby and coming back to his home. That had to be where I was. Maybe a guest room or something. Such a feminine room wasn't his.
A girl with rainbow hair came in and smiled. "You're awake. Hi, I'm Ziamara."
I stared at her. A strange odor lingered in the air. I couldn't place it. "Are you… part of the pack?"
She sat at the edge of the bed. "Kind of an honorary member. I'm married to Jet."
"Oh."
"I'm a vampire."
My eyes widened. "I see."
Ziamara winked. "I won't bite, I promise. Want me to tell Toby you're up?"
"Sure, if he's not busy."
"He is, but he's been waiting for you to wake."
"You'd think he would be the one sleeping after all he's been through."
"That dude is as tough as nails." She walked to the door then turned around. "Oh, do you need anything?"
Just my memories. I shook my head and leaned back against the pillows.
She left the room and I thought back to my conversation with Toby after dinner. That kiss… It was unbelievable. I sighed, wishing I could remember our life together before—especially since that had reminded him of kisses from then.
"Knock, knock," came Toby's voice.
"Come in." I sat back up.
He smiled widely and stepped inside and paused after a couple feet. "It's so strange being in a bedroom with you."
"Is it?"
"We've never been alone in a house before. Because our parents hated each other, we could only sneak away in the woods."
"I wish I could remember. Maybe you can help me." I climbed out of the bed and pursed my lips.
He arched a brow, the corners of his mouth curving upward. "What are you thinking?"
I moved toward him slowly. "A replay of earlier. Isn't it a kiss that wakes the sleeping princess?"
Toby ran at me, scooped me up, and fell onto the bed. "If that's what you want, I have no other choice except to oblige."
"You talk too much." I pressed my mouth on his, taking in a whole new array of scents and tastes. He smelled of cologne and tasted like maple syrup.
"Anything yet?" he asked.
"Nothing."
He planted kisses all over my face. "Now?"
I giggled. "No."
"I'll have to keep trying." He trailed his lips along my jaw and down my neck. "How's that?"
"Nice, but it's not jogging any memories."
Toby trailed over to my mouth, gave me a kiss so passionate that it made my toes curl, and then he sat up. "We're either going to have to slow it down or get married real quick. Wow."
I didn't even flinch at the mention of marriage. "Were we engaged?"
He took my hand and kissed my palm. "Not formally. We were planning on running away together and starting our own pack. You wanted to have lots of pups."
"I can see why." I ran the back of my fingers along his newly shortened beard.
Toby gazed into my eyes.
We sat quietly for a minute. "So, what did you do all those years while I was gone? Did you marry anyone else? You said we were together decades ago."
He cupped my face and brushed his lips across mine. "I never married."
"Did you see anyone else?"
"Is this a conversation you really want to have?" He traced my lips with his fingertip. "Can't we just enjoy being together?"
&nb
sp; "Well, I can't remember anything from my life."
Toby frowned. "I can't pretend to know how frustrating that must be. Let me contact a witch I know. She helped me figure out that you were in this area."
"Wait. When did she do that? Before you ran into me?"
"Yeah. She discovered you were with the jaguars."
Blood drained from my face. "Jaguars?"
"Shifters."
"You mean like were-jaguars?"
"Exactly. They own that club you work at. Your boyfriend, he's one."
"Carter?" I asked. "He's not my boyfriend."
"Don't feel bad about it, sweetness. You had no way of knowing about us."
I scooted away. "He's not my boyfriend—we've never agreed to go exclusive."
"His dad showed me the video. I'm not upset. Don't worry."
"Video? What are you talking about?" My voice was growing higher pitched by the moment.
Toby took a deep breath. "Of you two… at his place. Close."
My mouth dropped. "When? How? I-I… This can't be happening."
"Whatever you two did, it's not my business. I didn't want to watch." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I don't know what I was thinking."
"What did you see?" I demanded.
He frowned. "You two kissing and then him unzipping your shirt. His dad turned off the video and essentially said—"
"Did he show you the part where I told Carter to stop?"
Relief flooded Toby's face. "You did? He led me to believe—"
Anger burned within me. "Was I with them before school started? Do you know?"
"Gessilyn saw you early in the summer, if I remember correctly."
"Why? What did they want with me?"
"According to Carter's dad, you were bait."
I stared at him.
"They wanted me."
"But… they… you mean they used me to get to you? For what?"
"He wanted to torture and then kill me."
Terror ran through me. "Kill you? Why?"
"Your guess is as good as mine."
"They used me so they could try to murder you?"
"That's the way it looks."
"I think I'm going to be sick."
Chapter 28
Victoria
I stepped out of Toby's Hummer across from my home and held his gaze for a moment. My mind was still spinning out of control—there was entirely too much to process. Carter and his dad using me. The fact that Carter had anything to do with it infuriated me. But looking into Toby's eyes helped calm me, momentarily at least.
"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" I asked. He was going to tell the news media he was back after dropping me off.
"I'd like nothing more, but it's best to keep you out of it."
"Because I'm your student."
He nodded. "We have to pretend that nothing has changed—at least until you have a new professor. But also, I don't want the jaguars catching wind of this. It's going to be bad enough that I'm going public with my return."
I bit my lip. "Okay. Well, I need some time to sort my thoughts anyway. When can I see you again?"
Toby stared at me, mirroring the same mixture of longing and needing time alone as I felt. "I'm leaving it up to you. Call me when you're ready. Day or night."
Realization hit me. "I don't have my phone. It's in my purse, which I left at the Jag. I'm not going back for it—or my car. All of that has been paid for by them. And it was them! They cut off my credit cards."
Toby's face shadowed. "You're better off cutting out anything that has to do with them. The car, the phone, everything."
My mouth dropped. He was right. "But they're even paying for my room and board." I started shaking.
He waved me back in the truck and wrapped his arms around me. "Everything will be okay, I promise."
"H-how? I'm about to be homeless. I have nothing."
Toby kissed the top of my head. "You won't get kicked out of school or your housing. Those are usually prepaid. Just act like everything is normal. I'll get you set up with a car and phone. I have to get another phone myself. Do you need anything else?"
"I don't know. Do you think they're monitoring my laptop?"
"More than likely. I'll add that to my list."
"Are you sure? I don't want—"
"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, sweetness. Nothing at all."
Tears pooled in my eyes. I blinked and they fell, landing on Toby's hand.
He cupped my chin and guided me to look at him. "I promise it'll all work out, and I'll take care of everything. I don't want you worrying about finances or anything else. And I'll contact Gessilyn about finding a memory spell for you."
"Thank you, Toby." My lips quivered.
Toby glanced behind me. "Some people are coming our way. You'd better go. Let me give you Jet's number in case you need to get hold of me before class tomorrow."
He pulled out a pen, scribbled down a number, and squeezed my hand.
I hurried out of the Hummer and into the mansion. Sasha looked up from her bed, where she was on her laptop. "Did you spend another night in Carter's guest—what's the matter?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I dug into my backpack and pulled out my computer. I put everything I needed onto a cloud server—which Carter probably had full access to. He probably also knew all my passwords.
I'd never felt more violated. Well, in recent memory. Once I was sure all my schoolwork was safe, I threw the laptop on my bed.
"Victoria?"
"I'm fine."
"Obviously."
The screensaver on my laptop turned on. A picture of a jaguar lounging in a tree.
Fury tore through me. I grabbed the computer and threw it across the room and hit the wall. Pieces flew off and the screen cracked.
"Do you want to talk?" Sasha slid off her bed and crept toward me.
I picked up what was left of the laptop and threw it on the floor.
"Or maybe you'd prefer to destroy a thousand-dollar computer."
Ignoring her, I jumped up and down on the biggest piece. I pictured Carter's traitorous face with each crushing blow.
Someone pounded on our door. "What's going on in there?"
"Nothing!" I ran over to my nightstand and picked up a framed photo of a picture Carter had taken of us. I threw it across the room, shattering it much more nicely than the computer.
"Oh…" Sasha nodded. "Trouble in paradise. Gotcha."
"You have no idea." I leaped over the laptop remains and pulled the photo from what was left of the frame. Then I tore it into as many pieces as my fingers could manage.
"Again, I ask, do you want to talk?"
"Not unless you can breathe fire on his fat, ugly face."
She snickered and then covered her mouth. "Sorry."
"Wait!" I could probably have Soleil suck out his essence. Maybe she could take all of it.
Pounding sounded on our door again.
"Go away!" I shouted.
The door flung open. Landon came in. "Turn on the news! They just found that professor."
"Alive?" Sasha asked.
"Yeah, they're interviewing him now."
Sasha glanced at me. "That's good news. You were worried about him. And this'll get your mind off what's-his-butt."
Landon's mouth dropped. "You and Jag broke up?"
"Ugh!" I grabbed Sasha's arm and dragged her past Landon. "Let's go downstairs and see for ourselves."
"Wait," Landon called. "Details. I need some."
I ignored him and ran into the crowded living room. Everyone was talking about Toby, so I couldn't hear the interview. Not that I needed to—I was the only one who knew what had really happened.
On the screen, Toby appeared to be in front of the building where his office was. His hair was jumping around in the wind and he had close to a dozen microphones shoved at his face.
Sasha turned to me. "He looks like he's been through hell.
"
"Yeah, I know." What would she have thought if she'd seen him before he showered off all the dirt and gunk? He looked leaps and bounds better than when I'd found him. Now it was just bruises, cuts, and swelling. He was lucky nothing had gotten infected.
Watching him on the screen made me want to run out from the Waldensian and down to campus to throw myself in his arms. I didn't want to deal with school or anything. Not homework, midterm papers, or reading. None of it.
I turned to Sasha. "I'm going to clean up our room and then go to bed."
"This early? You haven't even had dinner, have you?"
"I don't care. And if Carter tries to find me, can you tell him I've moved?"
"Um, okay?"
"Thanks." I pushed my way through the sea of people up to our room.
Little pieces of the laptop and picture frame were all over the carpeting. I cursed Carter the entire time I cleaned. If they'd had me—against my will?—before I could remember, he had probably brainwashed me to fall for him in the first place. All the jaguar stuff seemed to make that clear.
I wanted to break more stuff, but the thought of cleaning it was enough to stop me. My stomach rumbled, but I ignored it. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget about everything for a little while.
At least Toby was going to help me break the Jag family's hold on me. I climbed into bed and tossed and turned for a while, my mind racing. Everything with Carter had been a lie. He'd used me. Pretended to know nothing about why I couldn't remember anything. Acting like I was just some random girl that he met at the barbecue.
The worst part was that I should have seen through it all. Hadn't someone told me that he never talked to most girls? Yet I'd eaten it up when he showered me with attention.
Stupid.
If I was dumb enough to fall for that, could I be equally idiotic for believing Toby? Did he have anything to gain by a relationship with me? As crazy as it was, I believed every bit of his story of our decades-old love for one another. That I'd died in his arms.
I sighed and pulled my pillow over my face. If only I had somewhere to call home, I'd run there to the safety and security of my family. Except that Toby was as close to that as I had.
When Sasha came back to our room, I was still awake, but I pretended to sleep.
I must have fallen asleep because my alarm woke me from a sound sleep. Eyes closed, I found the snooze button and sat up. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
Lost Wolf (Curse of the Moon Book 1) Page 18
