by Ali Parker
“Speaking of that…”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to reach out and see if you were awake.”
“Why?”
“Because I miss you.”
“Nope.”
“I love you?” I smiled, knowing she wasn’t going to let me off the hook.
“Yep, but nope.”
“I really wanna tell him, Aubrey, but it could ruin everything.” I sat up as my stomach sickened. “I know he likes me to some degree, but telling him that I’m madly in love with him is like Stalker 101 type stuff.”
She laughed. “No, it isn’t, but you know what?”
“What?” I pulled my legs up on the bed and pressed my cheek to my knee.
“Don’t tell him.”
“Good. I’m not.”
“Show him. You like seeing things more than hearing them. Show Jayce how you feel and let him figure it out on his own.”
“Why is this so damn hard?” I got off the bed and walked toward the bathroom, realizing that the shower was off.
“Because he’s not just anyone, Lay. He’s your childhood sweetheart and your best friend’s brother. There’s a lot going on in your relationship without adding your infatuation over him to the mix.”
“Really?” I rolled my eyes and walked back toward my room. “I gotta go.”
“Fine, but show him.”
“Later.” I hung up and chucked the phone into my room, praying like hell that it would hit the bed and not the wall.
“You all right?” Jayce’s voice sent warm tingles running down my back.
“Yeah. Sorry about that.” I turned to face him and tried to keep my face expressionless. The white towel wrapped around his waist left plenty of smooth, tanned skin on display. Water rivulets dripped down his chest and stomach to disappear into his towel. His dark hair looked even darker now that it was wet, and the sexy expression on his face had me frozen in place.
“No worries. Is he gone?”
“Yeah.” I pressed my teeth into my bottom lip and walked toward him, forcing myself to take one step and then another, and then another. “You really shouldn’t walk around like that.”
“What? Why?” He glanced down and ran his hand over his chest. “Too much?”
“In a good way.” I stopped in front of him and reached up to run my nails softly along the side of his hair. “What was the kiss for back at your mom’s?”
He grabbed my hand and tugged me closer before sliding his arms around me. “It was a daydream I’ve had about a million times. The kiss was supposed to last a little longer, but damn my mother for being right on time to ruin it.”
I laughed and he did too. “Maybe we should try again.”
“I’d like that.” He ran his hands up my back and over the curve of my shoulders, forcing my arms up as I wrapped them around his neck. “Just don’t count on anyone stopping us. You’ll have to do that instead.”
“And if I can’t?” I whispered against his lips as he leaned down and stole my breath with his nearness.
“Then I will.” He licked at my mouth and I groaned, swallowing Seth’s assumptions that Jayce Moore was the good guy type. He could be, but that didn’t mean he was all the time.
I pushed up and pressed my lips against his, forcing him to step back as I flattened myself against him. The warmth of his wet skin under my fingers was nothing compared to the way he made love to my mouth.
The fear that I would melt right there in the hall was too real to ignore.
I broke the kiss, panting softly, and ran my hands down his chest to his stomach. “How’s your stomach?”
“I don’t feel a thing.” He turned us, pressing me to the wall, and ground against me as he licked and sucked at my mouth with a hunger I wouldn’t have imagined possible.
Was I going to sleep with him? Fuck, I wanted to, but it seemed too fast, too rushed for the first time with him. I needed it to be special—different.
“Jayce,” I mumbled against his lips as he moved down and pressed hungry kisses against the side of my neck.
“What, baby?” His hands ran down my sides, his thumbs rolling over the sides of my breasts and flicking my nipples softly. I groaned again and arched my back, wanting to feel him pressed against me again.
“I can’t rush this. Please. I’ve wanted it too long.” I sucked in a quick breath as he stood back up and looked down at me.
“You have?” He gripped my hips tightly and licked his lips. “You’re not shitting me, right, Lay?”
“What? No.” I ran my fingers up his sides and around to the thick muscles of his back. “I want you so bad it hurts, but I can’t rush this with you. It can’t just be sex. I can’t deal with that again in my life.”
“Seth.” He glanced toward the door. “Is that what you guys had? I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell someone like you was doing with a guy like that.”
“Loneliness does crazy things.” I pulled him back against me. “I don’t wanna stop, but I need you to know that it’s not just sex for me.”
“I would never let it just be sex.” He cupped the side of my face and brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “I thought I’d come out and find you gone.”
“Hell no.” I let my eyes run down the front of him. “Seth is a part of my past.”
“And me? What am I, Lay?” He brushed his thumb over my lip again before sliding it into my mouth. “Can I be part of the future?”
I nodded and sucked his thumb deep into my mouth as he groaned low in his chest. Lust like I’d never experienced in my short life wrapped around me as if to suffocate me.
He pulled his thumb out of my mouth and moved forward, pressing his body against mine as he consumed me with kisses, licks, and soft bites.
“Stay in my bed with me tonight. We don’t have to make love, but I want you with me. Yeah?” He moved back just a little.
“I can’t yet. I wouldn’t be able to behave.” I stepped toward him, pulling him down for another long round of kisses. The thick press of his arousal against my stomach had me ready to say to hell with taking anything slow, but I knew better.
This wasn’t some one-night stand. It was Jayce Moore. I’d loved him since I could walk. He was everything to me and I wasn’t going to let sex jack things up. I couldn’t.
He kissed me once more and stroked my hair as he watched me lovingly.
“All right. I get it. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” He kissed the tip of my nose and turned. “Night, Lay.”
“Night,” I whispered and waited until his door was shut to walk to my room and face-plant on my bed. Every part of me ached for the night to go on, for him to unleash himself all over me and leave evidence that he’d been there, but I’d be much happier in the morning knowing that I didn’t rush into anything with him.
I didn’t just like him or lust him.
I loved him. I loved him with all of me.
Chapter 17
Jayce
The night in the hall with Layla a few weeks back had been incredible, but nothing came of it.
We both acted like good friends the next day, and the next and the next. I was beyond frustrated with the fact that I couldn’t force myself to bring it up. Obviously, she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. What the fuck was my problem? I had no one to talk to about the shit, and the last thing I wanted to do was call Lucas while he was juggling Aubrey, hockey, and the wedding stuff.
I walked into my Chemistry class and dropped down beside Will, who seemed to be in far too good of a mood for the middle of the week.
I glanced over at him and grumbled. “What’s up with you?”
“Hey, sunshine.” He smiled. “I’m looking forward to getting our test scores back. My dad and I still have that thing where if I make a good grade, he forks over a hundred bucks.”
“For each test? That’s fucked up.” Seth turned around, gracing us with his ugly grill like he did during every class we had together. The guy had no cl
ass, coming to the apartment to cock block me that night a few weeks back. Idiot. He’d be thrilled to know that Layla and I had done it all on our own. We didn’t need help rejecting each other for useless reasons. We were pros at it.
“Yep. Fucked up works for me.” Will wagged his eyebrows. “It’s dollar beer night at Merskys. Come with me and Dillon tonight.”
“I don’t know. I’m sure I failed this fucker, seeing that I haven’t been studying.”
“You need to get a tutor.” Will shifted to face me. “Like a hot girl that you can share your evenings with.”
“I need to pass the class, not get laid,” I barked.
“I’d say getting laid would take the edge off your attitude.” Seth glanced back and snorted. “You’re not quite your laidback self, Moore. Something wrong?”
“Not at all.” I pulled out my notebook and glanced over at Will. “I’ll be there around four or so. I could use a night out, and beer never hurt anyone.”
“There’s my boy.”
I gave him a look to remind him that I was no one’s boy.
“And here are our test results for this first exam. Please realize that there are six exams this semester, but each one is a major part of your grade. I will allow you to correct the test for an additional ten points that I will add onto your score if you like, but you can only use this gift once.” My chemistry professor handed Will his test.
“Yes! Eighty-five. Fuck yes.” He wagged it at me like a small child might.
I grabbed it and smacked him in the head with it. “Stop it, dumb ass.”
“Man, you are in a horrible mood,” he whispered. “Girl problems?”
The professor dropped my test on my desk. The sixty-three glaring back up at me caused my stomach to turn.
I was going to fail. If I did, there went graduation and then what? I’d be stuck at Providence without Aubrey and Lucas, and Layla would be gone. Even with missing the previous semester, she was still going to graduate on time.
Fuck my life.
“Seriously?” I turned the test over and glanced up to see Seth watching me.
“Layla’s a pretty good tutor for Chemistry. I mean, she’s better at anatomy, but something tells me you already knew that.”
I came up out of my seat, ready to beat his ass. Will grabbed my shirt and pulled me back down as the professor glanced over her shoulder with a look of bewilderment on her face.
“Fuck you, man. You messed things up with her. Not me.” I grabbed my test and my bag and walked out before class really started. There was no point in taking up a seat when I had no chance of passing. I just didn’t get it. It was like a fucking foreign language to me.
“Ugh,” I growled loudly and pushed the door open to the science building. Winter was still very much ruling our days, but spring was starting to peek around the edges of the snow-covered grounds. Little flowers had started to poke up here and there.
I dropped down on a bench in the center of campus and pressed my face to my hands before letting out a long sigh. I needed help and yet I’d been avoiding Layla because I didn’t know where to go from our make-out session.
Did she really care about me, or was that the sweet way of letting someone down without hurting their feelings? Seth had mentioned more than once that Layla was something close to a nymph, but I’d yet to see it.
Did I want to? Fuck yes, but not to exploit it. To enjoy her and give her anything she wanted back in return. I loved her and had for as long as I could remember.
Why was everything so weird between us now? Wasn’t the make-out session supposed to be the door to another one and another one and then us being together?
What was I missing here? Whatever it was had me feeling like a prepubescent teenager with his head up his ass.
I pulled out my phone, took a picture of the test, and sent it to her with a big, “HELP!” typed underneath it.
I needed to at least get our friendship back on track if nothing else. I couldn’t keep avoiding her, or worse yet, watching her avoid me. It was the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen between us, and yet, it was a daily routine at this point.
“No more.” I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair before heading to the track house. I wasn’t on the team, but I needed to do something before I pulled my hair out in frustration.
Running until I puked or passed out would do the trick. It always had in the past.
“Coach?” I knocked on Coach Billows’s office door and waited for him to look up. Somewhere around lap ten on the track, I realized I didn’t want to play hockey anymore. Not without Lucas. He was the reason I’d started playing my freshman year, and without him there, the fun was gone from all of it for me. Baseball still mattered, but hockey didn’t.
“Hey, buddy. Come on in.” He leaned back in his chair and pointed to the seat across from his desk. “Have a seat and take a load off.”
I dropped my bag on the floor and sat down. “I flunked my first Chemistry test, which you know is a huge bummer. If I don’t pass this semester, I won’t graduate, and that can’t be my legacy.”
“I understand that.” He leaned forward as I handed him the test.
“I’m pulling out of hockey. I know you don’t want to hear that and that the team will have to hustle to find another captain, but hockey isn’t my life. It’s not my future.”
“And baseball is?” There was no condemnation in his voice thankfully. I’d probably have picked up my bag, flipped him off, and walked out if there was. I was too raw to take any shit from anyone else.
“It’s part of my past, Coach. It’s what I’ve been playing since I was a kid. It’s comfortable and a relief of sorts. This isn’t.” I glanced around. “I love the guys, and I love playing for you, but I gotta cut back somewhere, and it’s going to be here.”
“Nothing I can do to change your mind, Jayce? You’re a damn good captain and a great team player, son.”
“No, sir.” I stood up, took my test back from him, and picked up my bag from the floor. “I hope you’re not too disappointed. I just have limited amounts of time, and this can’t happen again.” I lifted the test into the air.
“I get it.” He stood up and walked around the desk, extending his hand to me. “I’ll see you around for sure, and best of luck with your grades, okay?”
“Thanks, Coach.” I turned and walked out of the office, letting out a long sigh. It felt like a ton of bricks had been lifted from my shoulders.
I dropped my stuff off in my car and headed over to Merskys an hour earlier than I’d told Will. I would run into someone I knew or would nurse a beer and catch up on the latest pro-baseball game on TV.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I walked into the pub. Layla.
“Hey.” I smiled at the thought of her calling me, which seemed childish, but I couldn’t help it.
“I’m so sorry about your Chemistry exam. We need to do the corrections this week. I heard Dr. Denzo will let you add ten points to your exams if you just do the corrections. That’ll bring us up to a D.”
“That sounds good.” I grabbed a menu from the front and got into a booth by myself. “I need to set up some time to start studying with you. We don’t have to do any of the other stuff we promised each other, but I need help, or I’m not going to graduate.”
“The dates?”
I cringed at her bringing it up. I couldn’t tell by the tone of her voice if she was sad about me releasing her from them or pissed that I would dare do such a thing.
“Yeah. I’ll help you with your batting problem and we’ll call it even. That sound all right?”
“Oh… yeah, of course. You don’t have to help me with anything, Jayce. I’m not going to stand by and let you flunk Chemistry.” She chuckled softly, but the sound fell flat. She was hurt or pissed. Who the hell knew which or why?
“Cool. I’ll check you later.” I waited for her to say goodbye and dropped the call.
Thankfully, Will and Dillon walked in a few minutes
later, forcing me to forgo the massive pity party I was about to throw in my own honor.
“So… we in a better mood?” Will lifted his eyebrows as he slid into the booth across from me.
“Why were you in a bad mood?” Dillon got in beside him and rolled his shoulders a few times as if stretching.
“I’m all right.” I picked up the beer that was delivered to the table while I was stewing over my relationship with Layla, or lack thereof. “To the women we want and can’t seem to get.”
“Ah. That explains it.” Will picked up the menu and waved a server over. “We need a round of beer and a few shots. My friend here is flunking out of college and can’t get laid. He needs some love, hm?”
The pretty blonde gave me a sappy look and walked off.
Dillon chuckled. “Wow. That was classy.”
“What? I was just trying to help a friend out.” Will gave me a shit-eating grin.
“Or get us some free drinks.” I lifted my eyebrow at him, challenging him.
“Just killing two birds with one stone.” He shrugged.
“It’s not going to work.” I shook my head and took a long drink of my beer.
Sure enough, the waitress came back over and unloaded a tray full of liquor for us.
“It’s on the house, guys. Hope your day gets better.” She smiled at me.
I nodded and waited until she walked off to give Will a look. “Unbelievable.”
“Stick with me, boys, and the world will be ours.”
“Nope. Not happening.” Dillon shook his head and grabbed a shot from the center of the table. “Your luck is good tonight, but I’ve seen it down way farther than Jayce here.”
“True.” I lifted my beer in the air. “To us fuckups and the women we wished loved us.”
They agreed and smacked their glasses against mine, not asking me another question about my problems.
And for that, I let them stay.
Chapter 18
