“It’s a mighty tall leap for me,” she whispered.
Groaning, he thrust his hands into her hair and cradled the back of her head. “I’ve been a fool, Viv. And I’m sorry. More sorry than I’ve ever been about anything.”
A line furrowed the smooth skin between her brows. “Sawyer, what are you apologizing for? Pursuing me?”
“No. I’m not sorry about that. I’m thanking God that I had enough guts to pursue a woman like you. But I—well, I want you to know that the first day we met—I took one look at you and decided I had to have sex with you. And that was all I wanted.”
Her nostrils flared and he figured he’d just blown this night and probably any chance at another. Yet he didn’t regret his confession. She deserved that much from him.
“In other words you wanted to seduce me and to hell with my feelings? Right?”
He cringed. Somehow hearing her speak his plans out loud made them sound ten times worse. “That’s a mighty caustic way of putting it. But—you are right. That first day I saw you as a conquest. By the next day everything changed. You’d already become my friend and partner. You’d become special to me.”
Doubt flickered across her face. “That quick?”
His thumbs gently smoothed across her cheekbones. “That quick. And now—I don’t know what any of this means, Viv. I only know that something is growing between us and I don’t want to ignore it. I want us to be together—to give each other pleasure—to be happy.”
“Happy, yes. That’s what I want, too,” she whispered. “But what about our work? You’re only going to be at Lake Pleasant for a few months. Still, this intimate connection between us could jeopardize our jobs—our careers. I don’t want that, Sawyer.”
“We won’t let that happen, Viv. On the job we’ll simply be rangers working together. That’s all anyone will ever see,” he said with gentle assurance.
“Yes. Just two rangers doing our job,” she agreed, then rising on the tips of her toes, she placed her lips against his.
“Mmm. Does this mean you don’t want to leave?”
“It means you’ve done enough talking for now.”
She was right. The time had come for him to show her exactly how much he wanted her. But was he ready for her to see the tender feelings that were budding in his heart?
No. He wasn’t brave enough to be that vulnerable. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be.
Chapter Eleven
Vivian wasn’t sure how it happened so quickly. One minute they’d been kissing and the next he was tossing her clothing into a nearby chair and easing her back onto the double bed.
The quilt was cool to her bare back and the mattress was lumpy, but her senses barely registered those things as she watched Sawyer strip down to a pair of dark-colored boxers. His long, lean body was everything she’d thought it would be and more. Much more, she realized, as her gaze drifted downward to the erection pushing against the fabric of his underwear.
Did he already want her that much? Was he expecting her to be experienced? The notion that she might not be able to please him, especially since she’d not made love to a man since her divorce, made her so anxious she began to tremble.
He joined her on the bed and the moment he pulled her into his arms he felt the tremors that had taken control of her body.
“Viv, what’s wrong? Are you cold?”
“No. I—” She buried her face in his shoulder and clung to him tightly. “I’m worried this is not going to go well for you. I’m—It’s been so long—I think I’ve forgotten how to make love.”
He eased her head back far enough to look at her face and the tenderness she spotted in his eyes was so sweet, so unexpected, that tears suddenly burned her throat.
“Oh, my precious Viv. Don’t worry. Don’t think about anything. Except the two of us. And this.”
His lips came softly down on hers and in that moment she realized that Sawyer was going to be a giving and patient lover. And that was more than enough to give her the confidence she’d lost all those years ago when her marriage had collapsed.
After pressing a series of light kisses on her lips and cheeks, he lifted his head and with one hand, speared fingers into her hair.
As he spread the chestnut tresses over the quilt, he murmured, “The moonlight has turned your hair into flames dipped in silver. And my kisses have changed the color of your lips to a shade of crushed cherries.” To emphasize his words, his forefinger softly outlined the shape of her lips until they quivered beneath his touch. “You don’t look like a ranger now. You look like a very sexy woman—my woman.”
“Oh, yes, Sawyer. Make me your woman—in every way.”
The whispered plea was all he needed to hear and as he dropped his mouth to one puckered nipple, she was sure the floor tilted and the tiny room morphed into a patch of paradise.
Over and over, he laved her breasts with his lips and tongue, while his hands roamed over the hills and valleys of her curves, the long length of her muscled legs. Each time she thought she couldn’t feel more, she did, until finally the sensations were so many and flying at her with such speed that her throbbing body began to ache for relief.
She was writhing beneath him, her hands racing over the heated skin of his back and shoulders, when his fingers slipped between her thighs and urged them apart.
A gasp of pleasure rushed past her lips as his fingers touched the most intimate part of her, and when she dared to lift her eyes to his face, she saw that he was smiling down at her. And she realized he was taking immense pleasure in giving to her, instead of quickly taking what she was offering.
“You’re so lovely, Viv. So perfect—for me.”
She tried to form a reply, but she was too overcome with emotions to utter a word. And then speaking was no longer important as his fingers began to stroke the wet folds that were aching to receive him.
Intense pleasure washed over her in undulating waves and she cried out as she clung to his arms in an effort to prevent herself from being totally swept away. Then, just as she was teetering on the brink of losing all grip on her senses, he suddenly eased away from her and stood at the side of the bed.
The abrupt separation confused her. Until she saw him pulling a small packet from his wallet.
“I’m glad you came prepared,” she said awkwardly. “I haven’t taken birth control in years.”
“I wasn’t sure when or if this would ever happen. But I wanted to be ready.”
He turned his back to deal with the protection, then returned to the bed. She reached eagerly for him and with a needy groan he positioned himself over her.
“I never thought I’d ever want a man like this,” she told him. “Not ever again. But somehow you’ve changed me, Sawyer. And now all I want is you—inside of me—loving me.”
“Viv.”
The shortened version of her name was all he said before he lowered his hips and entered her with one slow, delicious thrust.
* * *
This wasn’t supposed to happen like this, Sawyer thought. He hadn’t planned on feeling this way. Not tonight. Not ever. But the wild, reckless need that gripped his senses was far too strong to fight. Vivian and her warm, giving body had taken total control of him and he was like a fallen leaf, tumbling helplessly end over end, with only a wayward wind to guide it.
Loving me. Loving me. Her words were like a mantra in his brain and with each thrust of his body, he tried to shove them away, tried to convince himself that every glorious burst of pleasure racking his body had nothing to do with his heart.
But then he would take one look at her sweet face and his lips would return to hers and he’d close his eyes against the onslaught of emotions. And the whole reckless circle would start all over again.
When he finally felt himself climbing toward the finish, he felt a sense of triumph that he’d survived the storm. Y
et when the end finally came and he felt Vivian arching desperately toward him, felt her arms and legs banding tightly around him, he wasn’t prepared for the utter surrender of his mind and his body. Everything inside him was pouring into her and he knew with certain finality that he’d never get it back.
Long moments passed before he found the strength to roll away from her, and even then his breathing was little more than short, ragged gulps. Next to him, Vivian remained on her back with her eyes closed, her swollen lips slightly parted. Except for the rapid rise and fall of her chest, she was motionless and Sawyer wondered what she was thinking, feeling. He couldn’t imagine it being anything close to the upheaval going on inside of him.
After a moment, she rolled toward him and curled her body into his. “I wish we had a blanket to cover up with,” she murmured drowsily. “But then I’d get too comfortable.”
“What would be wrong with that?” he asked, while being grateful he was still able to speak.
“It’s getting late. And I’m well over an hour’s drive from home.”
“Will anyone in your family be waiting up to make sure you make it home okay? Your mother maybe?”
“I’ve had to work late before. Sometimes overnight. All my family will go to bed and check with me in the morning. What about your grandmother?”
“I warned her I’d be late. She doesn’t worry.”
Sighing, she nestled her cheek against the hollow of his shoulder. “Well, maybe we could stay just a few minutes longer,” she said wistfully.
“If that’s the way you feel, then don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
He left the bed and crossed the floor to an old chest of drawers. After he pulled a folded quilt from the bottom drawer, he returned to the bed and draped the cover over her. “Your wish is my command. This should make you cozy.”
“I’ll be cozier with you next to me,” she said.
He joined her beneath the quilt and as he gathered her close against him, he tried to imagine having endless nights with her by his side. How would it be to always have her sleeping next to him? To know their days and nights and hopes and dreams would all be shared together?
“This is nice.”
“Mmm. Much better than pie and coffee.” She slid her palm across his chest and down his abdomen. “Although some toast and scrambled eggs would be wonderful right now.”
He chuckled. “Sorry. The fridge is empty.”
“It’s very quiet here,” she commented. “Are there any neighbors around? When we drove up I didn’t notice any houses nearby.”
“There are two homes just over the hill from here. Both of those families keep an eye out on the place for me. Fortunately I’ve never had any vandal problems.”
“Did your uncle always live here alone?”
“He was a rodeo cowboy and was gone for most of the time following the circuit. A wife or kids wouldn’t have fit his lifestyle. I think he had a special woman at one time in his life, but she died at a very young age. After that I don’t think he ever wanted another one.”
“That’s very sad. It sounds like your father and your uncle both suffered in the love department.”
That was something that Sawyer tried not to think about. Especially since he’d met Vivian. He didn’t want to think all the Whitehorse men were cursed when it came to women.
He rubbed a hand over his face then dropped his fingers to her hair. As he twined them through the silky strands, he said, “I often wonder if my father was ever loved. It didn’t seem so. But then I saw my parents’ relationship through a child’s eye. My grandmother said that Onida was never a good wife or mother. And I guess that much is obvious with her leaving and never coming back. Still, there are moments when I think she must have loved my father at one time—in the beginning. Why else would she have married him and bore him a child? I wonder, too, if he didn’t know how to make her happy or be a husband to her. I guess I’ll never know.”
“Not unless your mother returns someday.”
He tilted his head so that he could look down at her. “I told you that we’d heard from an old acquaintance that Onida died.”
“I wouldn’t put much stock in that rumor. Just like my family doesn’t believe my father’s death was an accident. One thing for sure. There’s no chance of Dad ever coming back. But there’s still a possibility you might see your mother someday. How would you feel about that?”
Over the years Sawyer had carried a load of anger and resentment over the woman who’d given birth to him. In fact, his heart had so hardened toward her, he’d refused to label her as his mother. Yet now that Vivian had come into his life, he was looking at everything through different eyes. He was beginning to wonder if Onida had left Arizona for reasons other than to rid herself of the responsibilities of a son.
“I honestly don’t know, Viv. There are some things I’d like to have answered.”
She sighed and her warm breath caressed his skin. The sensation stirred his senses. Just like the touch of her hand skimming along his rib cage and the womanly scent of her skin rising up to his nostrils.
“Answers,” she said quietly. “Most people go through life searching for those.”
He bent his head in order to press a kiss on her temple. “Well, you’ve answered a very important question tonight.”
She lifted her head to look at him. “I have?”
He smiled at her bemused expression. “Yes, you have. You just proved that you haven’t forgotten how to make love.”
Chuckling under her breath, she brought her lips next to his. “For further proof, here’s an early Christmas gift.”
* * *
After getting only three hours of sleep, Vivian should have felt depleted the next morning. Instead, she felt like she could easily jog two miles and the smile on her face was noticed at the breakfast table by more than one family member.
“The caroling service must have been a humdinger,” Holt said as he wolfed down a mountain of scrambled eggs wrapped in a flour tortilla. “You’re still singing carols this morning.”
She grinned at him. “That’s because I’m in the Christmas mood. The holiday is coming fast, little brother. Have you gotten my gift yet?”
“Oh, heck, do I have to buy you a gift this year? A woman who has everything?”
She pulled a face at him. “I rarely go shopping for anything. I don’t have time.”
“She did have time for dinner with Sawyer last night, though,” Maureen spoke up. “And I’m a happy mother for that.”
Hoping there wasn’t a blush on her face, Vivian looked down the table to where her mother sat at an angle to her father’s empty chair.
“Do you really mean that, Mom?”
“I really mean it.”
Across the table, Blake said, “It makes us all happy, Viv. We all like your new man.”
“Yeah,” Holt added, “we just hope you hold on to him.”
“Now wait a minute, you two,” Vivian practically stuttered. “Sawyer isn’t my man. I mean—yes, we’re more than coworkers. But—”
“You guys are making your sister blush,” Katherine said. “You need to lighten up on her.”
Grateful to her sister-in-law, Vivian said, “Thanks, Kat. How’s the morning sickness?”
Smiling wanly, Katherine pointed to her plate of crackers and fresh fruit. “Better. At least I’m getting something down.”
“Good,” Vivian said. “Little Katherine needs her nourishment.”
“Little Katherine!” Holt shook his head. “You have it wrong, sis. I can tell you right now the baby is definitely a boy.”
Vivian rolled her eyes at him. “Since when did you become an authority on pregnancies?”
“I have about thirty pregnant mares right now. And I can correctly predict the gender of eighty-five percent of them before they’re born. Just ask Ch
andler. He knows I’m an expert on the subject.”
“Chandler has already left for the clinic this morning,” Maureen said. “But we’ll all be sure and ask him about your expertise tonight, Holt.”
“Actually, Kat could be having a girl and a boy,” Blake said coyly.
Everyone around the table stared at him in stunned disbelief, including Vivian. Ever since she’d made love to Sawyer last night, she’d been fantasizing about how it would be to have his child. Yet deep down she knew that’s all it could be, an incredible dream. Katherine and Blake were blessed. Their hopes and wishes were actually coming true.
Maureen put down her coffee cup. “Twins! You two haven’t mentioned this possibility before. Are you serious?”
“He is,” Katherine answered with another wan smile. “I had a checkup with my OB yesterday. He suspects twins but he can’t be sure until I have an ultrasound. That’s scheduled for this afternoon.”
Holt grinned. “Hell, brother, you’re going to get two babies for the price of one!”
“Holt, don’t start jumping the gun just yet,” Blake warned him. “We don’t know for sure.”
The likelihood of having twins in the family continued to be tossed around the table as Vivian hurriedly downed the last of her breakfast. By the time she’d left the dining room, Holt had already named his twin nephews and bought them a pair of matching paint ponies.
In the kitchen, Vivian walked over to the cabinet where Reeva, a thin, older woman with a silver-gray ponytail, was chopping cilantro.
“Blake just told us that Kat might be having twins,” she said to the cook. “Did you know?”
“Kat mentioned it to me this morning when I remarked on her peaked face. It would be a blessed event having two babies at once, but I’m worried about her health. She can barely eat.”
“Don’t worry, Reeva. Blake will take good care of her. And she has a fine doctor who’ll monitor her closely.” She glanced up and down the cabinet counter. “Is my lunch ready to go? I need to get a move on or I’m going to be late for work.”
A Ranger For Christmas (Linda Lael Miller Presents; Men 0f The West Book 40) Page 15
