by Tiki Kos
Dad.
My heart stung as if a dagger was shoved deep into the center. My lungs shouted in horror as I tried to breathe, each one becoming more ragged then the next.
“H-h-h-he’s dead.” I swallowed hard, then sobbed. “My best friend is dead.”
The room spun. I closed my eyes while my fingers felt around for something to grasp.
They found a pillow and held on for dear life. I yanked it out from under me and smooshed it against my face.
I screamed, and screamed again.
The insides of my stomach flip flopped. I pulled the pillow off and threw it as far as it could go. It whipped through the air and into the opposite wall, knocking down a picture frame and shattering it.
I curled my knees up until they reached my stomach.
“Why did this happen?”
I rocked back and forth. Tears blurred my vision as I tried to control my breathing, but it didn’t help. The breaths became sharp and heavy.
“H-h-how could this have happened?” I sobbed.
Now, I was truly alone.
The single person who had my back was gone, and I didn’t know how I was going to survive this. In my mind, it would have been so much easier if I hadn’t.
I swallowed the giant lump in my throat.
My palms slid up and down the sides of my cheeks. What was I going to do now?
A knock sounded from the door, making me shoot up to sitting and pull the edge of the blanket down.
“Are you awake?” a voice I didn’t recognize called out.
“Yes,” I answered.
“If it’s all right with you, may I come in? I would like to make sure you’re not bleeding out.”
Did I really have a choice?
The wooden door creaked open. A guy a little older than me entered the room. He had long black hair that draped over his shoulders. His wide eyes were dark with swirls of light brown on the edges, reminding me of onyx. His caramel skin had the softest hints of pink around his apple cheeks. A curved smile that could only mean trouble met my gaze.
He carried in a silver tray with a water bottle, some food, a mug, and some square pieces of gauze.
“Hello.” He nodded his head, then flashed me a smile full of white teeth. A pendant poked out of his t-shirt, revealing what looked like a canine tooth.
“Hi,” I croaked. “How long have I been here?”
“A couple of days. Are you doing okay?”
I shrugged.
“You must still be in shock.” He placed the tray on the edge of the bed and handed me the water.
I graciously accepted it. My fingers fumbled to twist the lid off, and after a few attempts, I managed it.
“Where am I?” I took a long swig of water. As it ran through my mouth and into my throat, the cool liquid soothed the rough edges.
“The Blackpine Reserve. A couple of hunters found you bleeding out in the woods.”
“Hunters don’t usually go that far up the mountain. Especially not in this weather,” I shot back. My voice was more bitter than I would have liked.
I knew what I was talking about. I had been going to that cabin since the day I was born, and never once had I seen a hunter up there. An uneasy feeling brewed in my heart.
“I would say you’re pretty lucky they did this time. You almost died out there.”
“My dad did die. He was eaten, actually.” I should have stopped there, but some part of my body urged me to continue. I needed someone else to hear what happened, as if the words would validate everything I’d gone through. “By wolves.”
Fear flinched in the boy’s eyes only for a second, but I was quick enough to catch a glimpse.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” He gave me a sad smile and his face returned to normal. “But like my father would say, his journey isn’t over.”
“What do you mean?”
“He will be reborn, and once his soul is finished with his path in life, your dad can rest.” The boy pointed towards the painting on the far right of the room. There was a tribe of men and women sitting around fire. They were smiling and sharing something in wooden mugs with coloured tribal symbols around the rims. “Once his journey is done, he will rest with your ancestors.”
My eyebrows crinkled down. I knew he was probably trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t help. I didn’t care about my ancestors, or a journey. I just wanted my dad back.
“Right…” I looked past the boy towards the tray. A scone the size of my fist sat on a plate surrounded by strawberries and blueberries. Just the sight of it made my stomach complain in hunger.
“Sounds like you’re famished.” The boy gave out a harmonious laugh and handed me the plate.
I whispered a thanks before diving into the pastry. It was flakey with a taste of bittersweet lemon and a flavour I couldn’t place. A hint of floral. Maybe lavender? Or rose? Whatever it was, it tasted amazing—and I wasn’t a huge fan of scones.
“What’s your name?”
“Sunny Armstrong,” I said, after tossing a raspberry into my mouth. The tartness tickled my taste buds.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Sunny.” He lightly pushed his hair around the curve of his ear. “I’m Igasho Sweetwater. You can call me Sho.”
Sweetwater?
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” His voice was soft and careful. “I know you’ve been through a very traumatic event.”
“No. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”
Sho nodded his head. “I understand. When my mother died, I didn’t speak to anyone for a whole three months. I just focused on getting into medical school.”
“Medical school?”
“Yes, I went to Riverview Medical College. But my father needed me back for his campaign. I postponed my studies and moved home to help out.”
Mayor Sweetwater had made him drop out of medical school?
“Oh. That kinda sucks.”
“Here, why don’t you drink this tea? It will make you feel better and help you sleep. It’s my own blend, Wolfsbane. It’s a concoction of wild flowers from the area.”
“Sure, thanks. I appreciate all the help.”
What did I have to lose?
Sho gave me a brilliant smile. “It’s been my pleasure. I live to serve and help people.”
He handed me the warm ceramic mug. I wrapped both hands around it and inhaled deeply. Hints of chamomile, honey, and a little bit of spice tickled my nose. I took a lengthy sip. The warm liquid swirled down my throat, and the moment it hit my stomach, my guts tightened into a knot. Then, they began to twist around like a corkscrew.
“Everything will be okay,” Sho promised.
The pain would die down for a few seconds, then come roaring back, even more intense. My fingers went numb and loosened their grip on the mug until it slipped out. My body braced for the loud shatter, but Sho swiped the mug out of the air in one swift motion.
“Oh shit,” I winced through my teeth. My arms shook as a cold sweat dribbled from my forehead. I was so hot, but so cold at the same time.
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, which was now rock solid and sore to the touch.
“W-what did you give me?” My lips trembled; even speaking hurt.
“This tea will help you.” His voice was reassuring. “I promise. It will be painful for moment, but after, everything will go back to normal. All you have to do is finish the whole thing.”
“N-n-no tea.” I shook my head.
Sho placed a firm hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “You have to trust me.” I really didn’t want to, but something in my gut was telling me he wasn’t lying. His black eyes edged me on to drink some more.
As I went to take another sip, I could hear the distant yells of people arguing outside the door, followed by a woman screaming.
“The raven—” I whispered.
Mom entered the room at a run, her cheeks flushed and her fists clenched. She wore her signature red leather jacket, skinny jeans and biker boots. Her blon
de hair was slicked back.
“Get away from my daughter,” she snarled.
“I was only trying to help.”
“Shut up!” she snapped. “We don’t need to listen to your lies.”
Sho put his free hand in the air and backed away from the bed. Mom stepped between the two of us, looped her arm around my waist, and pulled me to standing. The heat from her arm warmed through the thin cloth of the t-shirt and soothed the aches in my back.
She crinkled her nose and sniffed the air.
“He was trying to poison you.” Mom grabbed hold of my chin and shoved two fingers down my throat.
My stomach clenched as I began to gag.
“Just get it all out,” she muttered, thrusting her fingers further in.
Before I could even react, I felt something surge from my gut and into my throat. The tea spewed out, covering the ground beneath me.
The taste in my mouth wasn't sour, but flowery.
I coughed and spat out the regurgitated slime before straightening up and wiping the involuntary tears that had streamed from my eyes.
“You can never trust someone like him.” She spat on the ground.
I frowned, shooting a glance at Sho. Why would he do that?
Sho looked scared as he shook his head. “I didn’t, Sunny. I just wanted to help you.”
“You’re just like your father, promising sugar to flies, but in the end you’re nothing but a filthy liar.”
“Sunny…”
Mom raised her finger at Sho. “If you ever talk to my daughter again, I will kill you. Let’s go, Sunny.”
Mom pulled me out of the room. I turned to see what Sho was doing, but he had disappeared. My eyebrows furrowed. Where the hell did he go? I knew that there wasn’t another door in the room. I tried to pull back away from Mom, but she yanked me out of reach.
I had so many questions floating around in my head. I couldn’t make sense of them all. If he was a doctor, why would he try to kill me?
Chapter Three
I was glad Mom was so focused on getting out of the reservation and not looking at my face. I knew it probably looked as puzzled as I felt. The hallway was filled with Disciples, some older members I recognized, and others I didn’t. As we walked by, the men nodded and placed a hand on their chests.
It didn’t make any sense whatsoever. The Nokado tribe had saved my life.
“Mom, why are the Disciples here?” I felt better now, almost back to normal, but still a little weak.
She lowered her hand, let go of me and looked my way. “The Disciples never leave one of their own. Ever. You know the rules.”
“I’m not one of them,” I protested.
She frowned. “You are, whether you like it or not. Disciples don’t leave their own to die.” She recited one of their six commandments. I’d heard them at least a thousand times, and I knew every single one by heart.
I chuckled, but it made her frown lines deepen and her lips sour. “I wasn’t going to die here. These people saved my life. See this?” I pointed to the bloodied gauze on my neck. “I was attacked by a wolf, and their hunters saved me.”
Mom rolled her lips in disgust. “You don’t understand anything. You will, but today is not that day.”
“What does that even mean?” I asked.
“It means this conversation is over, and it’s time to leave this shithole.”
“But—”
“But nothing. I don’t want to hear about it until we get home.” She wrapped her arm around my waist, dragging me out of the building.
I really didn’t understand her distaste for the Nokado. The building wasn’t a shithole; it was freshly painted with traditional Native American art everywhere. Sho had seemed nice enough before the whole poisoning me thing. I’d never had the chance to hang out with any of the tribe. They went to school at the reservation and if they came into town, it was usually just on the north side.
A line of black Escalades were waiting for us on the outskirts of the building. Wow. The drug business must be booming. They’d traded their beat ups for the massive SUV’s. Anger brewed inside of me, twisting my thoughts to hate. How could my mom be with these people? How could she treat them better than her own family?
Mom held her head high in the air, and motioned for the leather clad men to follow her. She looked content. Shouldn’t she be a crying mess? Her ex-husband had just died, and her daughter mangled.
How could I be surprised? At this point in my life, I was used to her lack of emotions.
The weather had cleared up, the freshly fallen snow covering the concrete sidewalks. I knew it was freezing out by the little breaths of clouds when I exhaled. I was in short sleeves, and I should have been cold. I wasn’t. If anything, I was hot. Was my bite infected? I poked it and felt nothing at all.
“I think I should get this checked out.”
Mom rolled her eyes. “You’ll be fine.” She pulled the gauze away from my neck. “It’s not even bleeding anymore.”
“But I did get bit by a wild animal, and I really don’t want to get rabies.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. You’ve got a better chance of getting struck by lightning.”
“What?” I was fairly convinced that wasn’t true.
“What?” Mom’s annoyed voice snapped as she stopped walking.
“T-t-those wolves were insane. They ate Dad.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
I wanted to see some semblance of sorrow. They were together for 18 years; didn’t that mean anything to her?
Mom trailed behind a couple of the Disciples into the first vehicle. I followed closely, ducking into the SUV. This one still had the fresh new car smell. The seats were a dark chocolate leather with two small television screens on the backs of the driver and passenger seat.
Once the car started, Mom flipped open the console and pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She shoved a long cigarette into her mouth and lit it. She puffed and puffed until the cigarette was gone. Then, she lit another. My nose crinkled from the horrid smell as it filled the entire backseat with a grey haze.
“Are we even going to talk about what happened?”
“No.” She coughed. “I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why not?”
“Just stop, Sunny. Nothing good will come from these questions.”
“Dad’s dead,” I whimpered. “He’s really gone. We need to talk about it. I almost died…Mom.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Anger flared in her blue eyes.
“Sometimes I wonder if you even care about me. If I died, would you cry then?”
She snorted. “Don’t play this little victim card with me. Bad shit happens to people every damn day.” Her voice was sour. “Act like a grown up, and move on.”
I leaned against the cool black tinted window. As I watched the trees and mountains blur by, a raven soared through the sky. The bird’s wings were the largest I had ever seen. Every time the sun would hit a certain point, they looked almost blue or purple. Its head tilted towards me as it flew closer to the SUV.
I wished I could be as free as him. The SUV turned to the right and into town, past the first set of lights. I thought we would lose the bird, but he continued to track us. His head tipped toward me and swooped down, close to the passenger door.
The ravens around these parts were well fed in the Blackpine Forest. They rarely had any reason to come into town.
“So weird,” I whispered.
“What is?” Mom snapped.
“Nothing. It was just a bird.”
She bent down to look at the raven, but he flew higher, out of sight.
“I don’t see anything.”
“He flew away.”
Mom hummed. “Good for him. He probably has something better to do, like eat garbage or shit on someone’s car.”
“Jesus, Mom.” I shook my head and looked at her in disbelief. She didn’t have to be so graphic
or swear every second word. I really didn’t like the weird mood she was in.
Her voice went low and serious. “You can’t trust birds, Sunny. They are scavengers and thieves.” Her last cigarette made its way to the resting position on her lips. “They’re always looking for something new to put their grubby little claws in.”
I didn’t understand why she had such a vendetta. Maybe she was a little crazier than usual. For a moment, I wondered if this was how she was dealing with her grief.
Our house was close to the town border. Once you hit the first set of lights, it was only a block away. You could tell what side of the town the Disciples ruled; their houses were nice and protected. No one dared trash a lawn or toilet paper some trees. The driveways were always shovelled, and in the summer, the neighbourhood had perfectly manicured lawns with full flower beds. You wouldn’t think a gang would be like this, but they were vain, and I guessed they enjoyed a clean community.
Poverty was highest in the north side of town. It was the forgotten side, where drugs were effortlessly accessible and people didn’t have enough funds to maintain their houses. You could easily find abandoned appliances on lawns, broken windows and doors. The Disciples’ reach never went that far. Mayor Sweetwater had cleaned up the community center in the north side, and set up his offices as well. I liked that about him. He wasn’t a pawn of the Disciples, and had started his best to make some changes.
The neighbourhood streets were packed with cars, more Escalades and trucks. This was the first time I had seen it so busy. A crowd of people dressed head to toe in black were waiting outside Mom’s house. I wished I had choice in whom I could live with; we didn’t get along the weekends we spent together, and it wasn’t uncommon for dishes to be thrown during those times. I had to remind myself it was only three more months and I could escape her.
The SUV pulled over at the driveway and let us hop out.
“What’s going on?”
She grabbed my hand and walked to the front door without answering. The lingerers moved out of her way and slightly bowed their heads when she walked past.
“Is this for Dad?” I asked.
As Mom pulled the door open, the aroma of cooking meat oozed out of the house, followed by the bitter smell of alcohol. People were everywhere. Her cream fabric couches were covered in sloppy drunks and kissing couples. Rock music blasted from the television set. A picture of an older man stood on the kitchen table. His hair was curly and to his shoulders, wisps of white but mostly grey. The photo didn’t show him in a good light; he had deep rooted lines underneath his eyes, and a shaggy beard.
