by Peter Saenz
Mika says, “Dig in boys. There’s plenty for everyone.”
That’s all I had to hear and we dig right in. When I see Tobias has finished his bacon I grab the tongs and place more on his plate, saving a couple for Fenrus which he happily chomps down.
“So Anna, how did you meet Tobias’ family?” I ask.
“In the 60s a group of “flower children” came to me to ask if they could rent some land I owned for a commune. Tobias’ grandparents were part of the group. They were close in age to me and I didn’t sense any deception from them so I told them yes. I loved how open and friendly they all were. Tobias’ grandmother, Lydia, was already pregnant with Tobias’ father by then. I’d check in on them periodically and over time we became very good friends. When Lydia gave birth I served as her mid-wife. I grew to love her son Alex as my own. Everyone in the commune knew I was Wiccan but it was never an issue with anyone. At that time everyone was delving into the metaphysical and experiencing new spiritual awakenings. Tobias’ parents never showed an interest in the Craft but several of the others wanted to learn more so I gave a few lessons here and there when asked. Little Alex took to the Craft right away. His parents thought it was great and encouraged his curiosity. Alex’s best friend through childhood was a girl named Chloe. The two of them were always together. Chloe became a student of mine as well. Early on I could see that the two of them had some magical potential but I never let them in on my suspicions. I wanted them to develop any gifts on their own, in their own time. Their friendship grew into love and eventually Tobias was the fruit of that union. Tobias is the spitting image of his father.”
As soon as she says this, I’m immediately taken back to last night’s dream travel. I can clearly envision my father looking at his son with eyes of love. Growing up I was always told I looked exactly like my father and now I see that same family resemblance in his new son. Aside for the red hair, he has the same facial features my father and I do. The food in my stomach twists and I put my fork down, now no longer hungry. I take a few deep breaths to allow the sickening feeling in my stomach to pass. Anna notices my change in composure and asks what’s wrong.
“Nothing. I’m sorry, just some old ghosts in my closets. I didn’t mean to take you away from your story.”
I feel Tobias looking at me. I turn to him and see a look of questioned concern on his face. I try my best to respond with an expression of “later”. He understands and goes back to eating his breakfast. Wanting for Anna to continue with her story I ask, “So were Tobias’ and Mika’s parents friends?”
Anna winces and I suddenly remember that the subject of Mika’s parents is a sore subject. Seeing my apologetic expression, Anna smiles and continues with her story.
“Mika’s father didn’t enter the picture until later in life, but yes, they were very good friends. Lizzy, Alex and Chloe were constantly running around the commune, getting into all sorts of mischief. They were certainly a handful as kids. Lizzy’s gifts, however, came into bloom when she was still in junior high. I of course was happy that the goddess had provided her blessings. Unfortunately her gifts also attracted the attention of Initiators. They stayed far enough away in the beginning but they’re relentless ways eventually caused them to step over the line. One day they kidnapped her on her way home from school. I could tell through our bond that she was in trouble the moment they grabbed her. I gathered what friends I could, both magical and not, and tracked her down to a home on the outskirts of town. We were able to rescue her but I knew she’d never be safe in the city again. I planned to move us to a new area but a Wiccan family I knew and trusted agreed to let her stay with them under the guise of a distant relative. It was hard for me to let her go but I knew she’d be safe with them. They were a large family whereas I had lost my husband many years prior and was alone. We kept in contact and I’d go to visit her whenever I could. She eventually met Robert and the two of them fell in love. He wasn’t at all familiar with the Craft but treated us all like family and completely supported Lizzy’s faith. Then when they had Mika, well, I couldn’t have been happier. They let her stay with me here in San Francisco every summer for a few weeks at a time. Alex and Chloe loved when she would visit too. They treated her like their own. Tobias is 8 years older than Mika but he always looked at her as a little sister.”
“Wow”, I said. “Sounds like you all really cared for one another. I do have a question though. You said that you could sense Tobias’ parents were developing their magic. As far as I know, no one in my family has any magical ability. I still don’t understand where the magic initially comes from. Is it a family thing? Are some people just born with the gift? Where does it all come from?”
Anna asks me, “Another aspect your teacher never explained to you?”
The sound in her voice tells me that she’s more surprised at the lack of Malik’s teaching skills than she is at my naiveté.
“No ma’am,” I ashamedly spit out. “I did ask him when we first met but he never out and out gave me an answer. I think he was trying to sell me on the mysteries of it all to get me to go along with him. Everything he told me was very general. To be honest, I don’t think he really had an answer.”
Anna replies, “We all develop magical gifts in our own time Devin. Like you, some witches are gifted with magic seemingly out of nowhere whereas others, like with my family, have had them for many generations. In that, there really is a mystery to magic. I can trace my family’s magical lineage back several hundred years. Did you notice the name on the building when you first entered?”
“Yes”, I reply. “It said ‘St. Elizabeth’. Who is she?”
“There are many St. Elizabeths,” Anna answers. “The particular St. Elizabeth this building is named after is also known as St. Elizabeth of Reute. She was a German woman who lived about 600 years ago. She is also the sister to one of my direct ancestors. Both sisters were great Seers. Elizabeth, however, was afraid of her gifts. When she was fourteen years old she joined the Third Order of St. Francis, hoping the Catholic faith would absolve her of what she perceived as wickedness. Her natural inclination to magic however grew over the years and eventually caused her moments of what her Order thought were miraculous events. Her devotion to her faith and extreme wish for repentance caused her to see more religious visions and even magically develop the wounds of Christ, also known as the stigmata. Because she was seen as such a devoted nun, her displays of magic were revered. In the end, her fears of our family magic were shown fruitless as she was praised for her gifts later in life. To date, she is the most famous member of our family. Each generation shares her story with the next, not because of her eventual Catholic sainthood, but as an important parable on life: No matter how far you try to run from who you are, or what path you take, you will always be led back to the place you were meant to be.”
Again Anna’s words take me back to a previous memory. This time to the similar last words my father said to me: “Don’t ever run from what you are son. Embrace the hand life gives you.” Has Anna seen my father tell me this in one of her visions? Is that why she’s telling me her family story? I look at her and am suddenly ashamed of my questioning thoughts. I can’t sense any malice from her at all. On the contrary, she seems like the kind of sweet grandmother I’ve always wished to have.
Years taking care of myself on the streets have trained me to keep information on a need to know basis, but I hear the words falling from my lips without hesitation. “I kind of fell into magic by accident. I grew up in a picture perfect home but that all changed when my father left me and my mother when I was 6 years old. After that my mom started drinking to kill the pain. I retreated into myself most of the time. I eventually ran away when I was 16 and lived on the streets close to three years before Malik, our former coven master, took me in. He trained me for 5 years in different ways to manipulate magic. From what I’ve seen from my short time with you though, it’s obvious he failed as a teacher in a lot of respects. The last year I began to see
his true colors and wanted out. He had made us take a blood oath when we first joined the coven though, so it wasn’t easy to just walk away from it all. Fortunately the goddess showed kindness to me and gave me Fenrus. With his help we were able to escape from the others and make it north, which then led us to you.”
Anna looks to me sharply. “So my suspicions were right. It also explains why I don’t sense a Devotional Amulet on you. Your pet really isn’t your pet. He’s your amulet, your familiar, isn’t he?”
“Yes.”
“And when you said that your goddess blessed you with him, who did you mean? Who is your central god?”
Anna’s direct tone and reaction completely surprise me. “My goddess is Gaea, the earth mother. Same as Tobias.”
Anna nods. “I see. Please don’t be offended Devin. I mean no disrespect with my questions but in all my years in the Craft I’ve never met another witch with a true familiar. I’m sure Tobias has no doubt told you they are very rare and only given to the most skilled of witches. I don’t doubt your deservedness, but I am puzzled that with the amount of training you still require, one of the Powerful Ones still deemed you worthy to receive. There must be something about you very special.”
“No offense taken. Her blessing is a mystery to me as well. But did I hear right, did you say you’ve never met “another” witch with a familiar? Does that mean you have one too?”
Anna smiles. “Yes, I do. His name is Sekhmet. He’s named after an ancient Egyptian war goddess.”
I interrupt, “The daughter of Bastet, the cat goddess.”
Anna smiles even bigger. “Very good Devin, yes. In some versions of her story, Sekhmet is said to be Bastet’s daughter. My Sekhmet was given to me when I was about your age. Whereas you’ve taken the Gods of Olympus as your Wiccan deities, I instead chose to honor the Gods of Heliopolis: the Egyptian gods. My two central gods are the goddess Isis and her most fierce protector, Bastet.”
“Ms. Whiskers!” I suddenly say and stand from my chair. “Is she alright? I feel awful that I completely forgot about her.”
Mika laughs. “Ms. Whiskers is alright. She’s upstairs playing with the others.”
“Others?”
Anna chuckles, “You don’t think a follower of Bastet wouldn’t have a small tribe of cats of her own, do you? Your feline is fine, and I must say very outspoken. Despite being on the mend she’s made it quite clear to the others that she is not to be trifled with without a severe swipe of her claws. The others are giving her space but are also completely amused at her rambunctiousness. Sekhmet even seems to have taken a shine to her.”
Suddenly confused I say, “Wait, Sekhmet was given to you when you were my age? 24 years old? How is he still alive? Aren’t cats only supposed to live for 10 to 15 years?”
Mika then chimes in, asking me, “He might look like a dog, but do you really think your familiar is an animal Devin?”
“Well...yes. Isn’t he?” I look at Fenrus and he looks back at me with meaningful eyes.
Anna says, “Your familiar is many things but don’t be fooled. He is not truly a dog. That’s simply the form he wishes to manifest as. Underneath it all Fenrus is a divine being made from the primal magic of ancient gods but he is also made of human magic, a part of your own soul. It’s because of this tie to you that makes him want to interact with you on a human level. If he wishes to eat food for example, it’s to savor the flavor and to experience what you are experiencing. If he wishes to howl at the moon, it’s to experience the feeling of emotion it provides. He can do many things that an ordinary dog can do but ultimately though, he doesn’t need to do any of these things to survive; only for amusement and understanding. Food, warmth, breathing, even relieving himself...Fenrus isn’t tied to these things in the way we are. The one thing he does have a tie to is you. As a part of your soul, if you were to get hurt, so would Fenrus.”
“And if I were to die?”
“Fenrus will then die as well. No man made weapon will ever have a single effect on Fenrus, save for those afflicted on you. And should you live into old age as I have, he will remain as he is now, giving you sustenance and strength; vigor and focus. But above all, he will always provide you with love.”
I look down again at Fenrus and can sense him confirming every word spoken. I pet his head and cheeks as he nuzzles his head against me. He seems like a real dog, feels like a real dog...yet meditating on what Anna has just explained to me, I slowly begin to take in that not everything is as it seems.
“Ms. Whiskers said that he and I have a sparkle to us. Some sort of shine that is a bit brighter than other magical beings. I wonder if she sees the same thing with you and Sekhmet.”
Surprised Anna asks, “You’re able to hear and understand cat speech?”
“Yeah, it was a surprise to me too.”
“Again, your access to natural magical gifts surprises me. My other cats are non-magical, just like your Ms. Whiskers. They’ve said something similar in regards to Sekhmet and I having a glow to us. Not knowing other familiar possessors, I’ve had to read on the subject or ask Sekhmet questions directly. I must then assume the glow that cats see is a common trait.”
Thinking on it again I ask Anna, “So are you able to merge with your familiar like I can with Fenrus?”
Shocked, Anna replies, “No, nothing like that has ever happened with us. Sekhmet is made from a part of my soul but we’ve never been able to reconnect that missing piece back into me. Sekhmet is his own being now, separate from me but connected on a primal level. Your ability to merge back with Fenrus is something completely alien to me. The goddess must have given you that unique gift for a reason, but a reason only she can answer. Perhaps in your mediations when you connect with your god you can ask her. If she is willing and the fates are kind, then maybe you will be given your answer.”
Questions. For every answer I receive, two more take its place. It’s likely to drive a guy crazy. I guess this must be where patience should serve its purpose.
“You said that he is immune to any man made weapon, but what about magic? Is he in danger from other magic users like witches?” The thought of the coven harming Fenrus sends chills down my spine.
“Familiars are very powerful and have strong magical defenses.” Anna says. “They are not easy to defeat. That said, should a familiar fall into the wrong hands, either by stronger magics or by their own choice, other witches could steal their strength, augmenting their power to a high degree.”
I gulp before asking the next question but know it must be asked. “And if that were to happen...?”
Anna looks at me with remorseful eyes and says, “Then both you and he would die in the process.”
A sickening knot begins to form in my stomach. I look over to Tobias and even he seems to have lost his appetite. I then look at Fenrus and send him thoughts of protection and security. I receive the same feelings back with added love. How can I be so bonded to someone I only met two days ago? Is this how new parents feel when they have a child? All I know is that when I look into those big yellow eyes of his, I’m suddenly overtaken with feelings of love and devotion.
I can tell Anna understands what may be running through my mind when she says, “But fortunately you won’t have to worry about that while you’re here. I have a proposal for you Devin. If you agree to it, I’d like to teach you some of the aspects of the Craft that were overlooked in your previous studies. Just until Tobias feels better, I think it might benefit you and give you better insight to your relationship with Fenrus. I’m not looking to become your new coven master, have you perform a blood oath, or anything like that. I just don’t think it’s right for someone with your obvious gifts to be trained in only half of what the Craft truly is. What do you say? Would you be open to learning more about the faith?”
I’m dumbfounded. After my experience with Malik I’m very hesitant to accept any offers to replace him. I can sense though on every level that Anna offered the invite from a place of comple
te kindness. To decline the offer would insult the hospitality she and Mika have already shown us. Also, additional knowledge can only help us defeat whatever the old coven has in store for us come October. I mull around the opportunity for a few more moments and agree to the proposal. Smiles abound on everyone’s faces.
Mika then says, “I’ll do you one better. I saw the way you were looking at that sword before. I’m actually trained to use one. I’ll teach you how to use it, if you’re interested.”
“Sure! That would be awesome!”
Fenrus woofs happily in response.
*******
The next couple weeks fly by quickly. In the mornings we’d all have breakfast at Mika’s apartment, after which we’d go upstairs to Anna’s apartment where Tobias and Mika would sit in on my lessons with Anna. It was like starting school all over again. I quickly learned that Malik’s way of approaching the Craft was similar to how an overzealous football coach would teach P.E. to a group of junior high kids. Anna’s style of teaching was very much opposite. She took the time to walk me through each lesson at my own pace, without judgment or criticism. The lessons tended to lean more toward metaphysical philosophy than Malik’s straight forward “this is how you cast this spell” training, but I was loving it. I began learning more about the history of Wicca and where different types of magic come from. During our lesson on Egyptian magic I eventually was able to met Anna’s familiar, the very majestic Sekhmet. His beautiful sleek ginger coat almost radiates, and his yellow eyes are mesmerizing. The family magic he possesses reminds me of the strength I feel when near Malik’s amulet. As Fenrus wasn’t able to visit Anna’s apartment too often due to the tribe of cats living there being skittish of his canine form, Sekhmet would often appear in Mika’s domain to visit with Fenrus, forming a bond between the two of them.
In a hidden room in Anna’s apartment Anna shows me an elaborate shrine to both her goddesses, Isis and Bastet. The room is beautifully decorated and looks to be an exact replica of a room found in an ancient Egyptian temple. She explains that during her meditation period Sekhmet and the other cats would gather with her in the devotional room. Being able to see into other realms, the cats help Anna focus her energies and thus allow her to access her visions with better clarity. During the tour I’m happy to discover that Ms. Whiskers has officially joined Anna’s cat pack. When she would see me, she would immediately come over to tell me about some new discovery she’d found in the house, or about how wonderful the sun felt when she would lay out on the roof. Without fail though she would always end her stories with how wonderful Sekhmet is and how lucky he would be to have her as a mate. I don’t have the heart to tell her that he’s not really a cat.
