by David Smith
"That's exactly what you need to do!" He said angrily, his voice like gravel sliding out of a dump truck, putting himself between me and the door. "It's her choice. The only choice you have is whether you want to have her and let things be the way they are or let her go altogether."
"No, that was your choice!" I told him.
He backed down a little, I could tell I hurt him, that it might have sounded like I thought he was a coward, which I did even though I understood his position.
"You think it's easy for me to let her..."he stopped. "What was I supposed to do? Take her and go out there, with those things? Keep fighting him? He would have killed me eventually then who would be around to protect her?"
I just stared at him.
"Well," he said quietly. "You wanna be a fighter then go ahead. But you're gonna get yourself killed and maybe her too. If you really care about her and want to save her life, you'll leave her be."
I didn't want to insult him any further by pointing out to him that the life he had chosen and provided for his wife might not be, to her, worth living. On top of that, I didn't want to presume to know how she might feel about it anyway. So I just shoved past him and out the door.
I rushed up the stairs to the fifth floor and down the hall, past the briefing room and stopped short of going out onto the roof and the catwalk. She was there, ten feet down the catwalk to the left of the open door, sitting in a metal folding chair, one of the guards leaned back in another with his feet propped up on the handrail, his usual position. The guard from the other end of the roof came walking, right past the doorway I was standing in and I was relieved that he didn't see me. He was short and stocky, a bulldog of a man, and had black hair and a short but thick beard.
He spoke to her but I couldn't hear what was said. His body language was flirtatious though, and the other guard's became the same the more they talked, sitting up then leaning forward in his chair, closer to her.
It was obvious that the one from the other end of the roof was the more dominant, with the other following his lead while trying to keep her attention on himself, a red haired man not much older than myself and even more awkward. She was sitting with her arms folded, bolt upright in the chair, her knees and feet together but smiling and giggling nervously at their conversation.
I heard the crunch of footsteps on the shingled roof from above the doorway and I shrunk back further into the shadows as he came down the slope of the roof, past the door and down to the catwalk. He was the strongest and most confident looking of the three and went straight to where she was sitting, made her get up to give him her chair then pulled her onto his lap.
It was like watching a pack of coyotes fighting over a fresh kill. The new alpha male wasted no time with small talk and flirting but went straight to work, kissing her neck, crudely fondling her and taunting the others with a crooked grin.
The one with the thick beard hesitated but soon stepped in front of her and began unbuckling his belt. The alpha male pushed him back and laughed, then stood, forcing her down to her knees in between himself and the bearded one. It would seem that she was about to be raped but having heard what Perez and the old man had told me about her, I waited to see what she would do. As the alpha male held her hair tightly in one hand, she reached up with both hands and started unbuckling the bearded troll's belt. She looked up at the red-haired guy who was still sitting in his chair with a look on his face of pleased disbelief and a posture of begging for permission to join in, and smiled as she reached into the other's pants. I had seen enough.
My initial reaction was to sulk back downstairs and find one of those barrels we picked up from the farm and drink till I forgot I ever knew her. But I guess I wanted to make known to her what I thought about it all. So I lunged from the shadows and blind-sided the alpha male with a roundhouse right from behind. It connected at the corner of his jaw and his ear and he stiffened up like a board and fell hard, to the wooden catwalk, pulling her down with him, his hand still tightly gripping her hair. I started to swing at the bearded one with a left but he slipped back and I barely grazed his chin. He caught my arm and the red-haired kid jumped up to help him. They had me wrapped up and bent me backwards over the handrail before I could get free, the bearded one being much stronger than myself.
"What are you doing up here you little piece of shit?" He asked.
"Let him go." I heard Beth say from behind the red-haired kid. She had her rifle in his back and raised his hands up but the bearded one didn't move.
"Mind your own business little girl." The bearded one said.
"That's my brother. This is my business." As soon as she got the last word out of her mouth, the red-haired one spun around, pushing the barrel away with one hand and striking her across the face with the other. She bounced off the handrail and slumped to the floor.
I grabbed the Bearded one by the balls and he froze but before I could do anything the red-haired one reached down and grabbed the back of my leg and started lifting in an attempt to dump me over the side. I kicked my leg wildly and he held on to what he had but so did I. If I was going to the ground, five stories below, the bearded ones balls were coming with me.
Every time he pulled up on my leg I pulled harder and unable to help in his weakened state, The bearded one finally grab the red haired one by his shirt collar.
With his face twisted in pain and tears in his eyes he managed to eek out, "Stop." to the kid.
Then, with his last bit of strength, The bearded one put his forearm up under my chin and pinned me down, bending backwards over the handrail still, and the kid rammed the butt of his rifle into the side of my face. It hurts so bad I forgot about everything else I was doing and lost my grip.
The next thing I remember is being body-slammed on the slope of the roof and sliding back down to the floor of the catwalk. The alpha male had woken up and was now on top of me, his knees on my arms and his hand on my throat. He hit me hard twice across the face.
Fortunately, it was on the side opposite the one that was already bleeding and swelling. It felt like my entire head was on fire.
"You're going to die tonight." He said, his words muffled through his swollen jaw. "But first, you're gonna watch. Kellan," he barked. "she's all yours young man."
"You got to take me to see the doc, John." The bearded one groaned as he lay flat on his back, legs spread wide trying to make room for the pain.
"Take your damn self, Mark. I'm busy."
As Mark lay there complaining, Kellan slammed Stephanie, face down, onto the roof. She winced when she hit but then closed her eyes tightly. Her mouth was closed tightly, her lips pulled in between her teeth and tears starting to form in her tightly closed eyes as he lay on top of her, working her shorts and underwear down to her knees.
Keeping his weight on her, he was working on getting his own pants down when I saw Beth getting back up, behind them both. She stuck her rifle in his back.
"Get off of her, Kellan."
He froze for a second then smiled. "You know you ain't gonna shoot me." He said then continued what he was doing.
"I said get off her!" She said and pushed the muzzle harder into his back.
He reached back and slapped it away, his pants now down below his ass. Stephanie was still motionless, her face in a clinch, as he tried to position himself. Beth was just starting to cry and, I think, about to pull the trigger when I heard a familiar and deep voice from the shadows inside the door.
"Why are you out of uniform, soldier?"
The two who could still stand did so immediately. The other held onto the handrail and got up to one knee. Kellan was covering himself with his hands, pants still halfway to his knees. They, all three, looked terrified.
Through my swollen eyes, he looked like a beast as he emerged from the shadows and into the moonlight. It was Jackson. His pleasant demeanor had changed into that of a monster. "Who wants to explain to me what is going on here?" He said slowly and deliberately as he helped Stephanie to her fe
et and she pulled her shorts back up.
"Chief Jackson, sir..." John started to speak but was interrupted by a big, black fist in his gut, all the air being forced out of his body in one gasp.
Jackson leaned in so close that his lips touched John's ear as he whispered. "If you ever let my name cross your filthy lips again, the next thing across them will be my boot laces, do you understand, Kendrick?"
"Yes sir." He mouthed, trying to breath.
"Now, stand up!" He yelled and I know it must've made the man deaf in that ear. "That was what's called a rhetorical question," he said, addressing all three men. "It's obvious what you three were doing. Speaking of which, pull your damn pants up boy. That white ass of yours gonna bring in the dead for miles around in this moonlight. Now, I would be a fool if I expected you rednecks to have enough self respect not to neglect your duties. But, you will have enough respect for this young lady to do your business with her in private or you'll be out on recon with me. Do I make myself clear?"
They all gave a pathetic and intimidated, "Yes sir."
"Now get back to your posts and stay there." He then looked at the three of us.
"Can you walk?" He asked me.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little scratched up." I said as I got to my feet.
"You may have a concussion. The three of you come with me."
We followed him into the house and he stopped at the Captain's door. He knocked and after a few moments we heard, "Come."
"Wait out here till I come get you." He said before entering.
We sat down on the floor, me against one wall and Stephanie facing me from the other. What I felt from what I saw was even worse than the pounding in my head from the beating I took. I wanted to let into her but didn't really feel like I had the right or that it would do any good. Maybe if I would have taken her when she offered, she wouldn't be doing this. It didn't feel right though, I didn't want to do it just to lay claim to her like some possession or to save her from herself. That's not what it should be about, or should it?
"So this is what you do every night?" I asked quietly, trying to mask my disapproval.
"And all day, not that it's any of your business."
"When you come to me crying, you kinda make it my business."
"You don't have to worry about that anymore because I won't. Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me." She interrupted and I continued.
"Besides, I care about you and I didn't save your life to see you throw it away on people who don't."
"No," she quickly came back. "You saved it so you could control it and I never asked you to."
"It's not like that and you know it."
"All I know is that you've been trying to tell me what to do ever since we've met."
"And he doesn't?" I broke in.
"No. I do what I want. It's my choice. You're not my father, he's dead and I don't need another one."
"Right. You don't and he's just like your father, using people till they're no longer useful, using you."
I really didn't know what else to say. Anything else that came to mind made me feel like she was right even though I knew, in my heart, she wasn't.
It was nearly half an hour before Jackson came back out. Beth had her ear to the door the entire time but all she could hear was muffled tones. Finally, she quickly turned and sat against the wall just before the door opened and the Captain stuck his head out.
"Come on."
He was sitting behind his desk when we walked in, his pistols in a shoulder holster, hanging on the wall behind him. He had straightened his hair and gotten dressed before allowing us to enter but his eyes made it apparent that he had been gotten out of bed for this. He was leaning back in his chair, one forearm and calloused hand resting on his desk and the other, on the arm of the chair. His head was down and his blue eyes searched us from under his gray brows.
There were two metal chairs in front of his desk. Beth sat in one as I stood aside and let Stephanie have the other, for which she shot me a dirty look before sitting. Jackson walked around and stood behind the Captain, his arms folded, and we all just looked at each other for a while.
With that same disarming, slight smile and interrogating eyes as the first day I met him, he was trying to read us. He didn't know how much I had learned about him, or at least I hoped he didn't. With that, I was unsure of my ability to read him so I decided not to speak unless spoken to. I would let him show his hand first and play off of that.
"Stephanie," he said. "You know better than to go out at night by yourself."
"I couldn't sleep and I was bored." She started to explain.
He cut her off by just raising a finger off the desk. "If that happens again you can roam inside the house. That roof is a guard post, an on duty station. Those posts are our first line of defense and you are not defense personnel. By being there, you are a distraction. That roof is off limits, okay?"
I don't know if it was something about the way he spoke to her or that she feared him but she simply nodded.
"Alright, go on to bed." He told her and she got up and went into his darkened bedroom and closed the door behind her. My guts wrenched at the sight of her closing that door, the door to his bedroom, but I kept it from showing.
"Sit." He said to me in a hospitable tone and I did. I knew what she was and I disagreed with the very concept of it but I said nothing. I knew that Jackson might be his assassin. If that was the case, they could kill us both. No one would miss us except maybe Perez and the old farmer. But the farmer wouldn't say a word and I didn't know yet what to make of Perez. So I just waited for him to speak first.
"So," he began. "Sergeant Perez says you're the only two guards who are always on time and stay awake the whole shift so I don't want to lose either of you. What seems to be the problem?"
He didn't give me anything to go on and I didn't know how to answer, how much of the truth to tell. I hoped Beth would answer first since she didn't know anything that would get her in trouble but she was silent. I looked at her through swollen eyes then back at him. He stood from his chair slowly and walked around to the front of the desk and sat on it, looking down at me.
"I understand what she is," I began. "and I understand the need for her kind of..." what word to use? "service. But I think if a woman is going to be in that service, it should be her choice."
He nodded. "I see. Well, she hasn't been forced. It is her choice."
"I don't think she's mature enough to make that choice, sir."
He thought for a moment. "How old do you think she is?"
"I don't think it's a matter of age."
"Just tell me, how old?" He interrupted.
"I don't know, sixteen, seventeen? But..."
"I don't know either but, even if she's seventeen, that was old enough for a woman to legally decide for herself before this all started. And now, in this world without law, and especially considering the way things are now, everybody has to trow up fast. I think she's old enough to decide for herself."
It took me a moment to work up a rebuttal. Her parents had died before ever teaching her about love and sex and the only resource she had was trashy magazines she had found by the checkout lanes. "Do you know about how she grew up?"
He shrugged his shoulders.
"She has no idea what love and intimacy is supposed to be like. Emotionally, sexually, she's got the mind of a child. I just think she, or anybody, has the right to to at least have a chance at being with someone who actually cares about her but you've got her selling something and she has no idea the value of. A person's body shouldn't be used as currency, sexually or otherwise."
"Oh, I didn't realize you had a degree in psychology.” He said and paused for a moment. "We'll talk more about this later.” He said once he realized I wouldn't respond to sarcasm. “How did you get mixed up in this?" He asked Beth.
"I heard the commotion and saw that Kendrick wasn't at his post so I went to check it out. That's when I found my brother being hung o
ver the railing."
He gave her that investigative stare for a moment. "Okay. You did the right thing by stepping in. I'm going to put you on day watch though, for your own safety of course. Chief?"
"Yes, sir." Jackson answered.
"See to it that she gets back to her room safely and tell Sergeant Perez to pick someone from day watch to take her place immediately."
"Yes, sir." he answered then walked ahead of Beth out of the room and pulled the door shut behind them.
Jennings crossed his arms and his ankles, still sitting in his desk with his legs stretched out to the floor. His smile straightened as he looked at me harder than before but didn't speak. I supposed was analyzing the situation so I decided to go off subject.
"Sir, I would like to volunteer for night watch...since I am already awake."
He looked puzzled for a moment, then laughed one loud "Heh! Well, you've got heart kid, I'll give you that. Can you even see?"
"Out of the right one...a little."
He smiled, shaking his head. "No, we don't do revenge here. I'll make sure Sanchez hands down the proper discipline for that shiner they gave you."
"What about for Stephanie, what they were doing to her?" I asked.
He raised his head to look down his nose at me as his smile vanished again. "I take it you and she were personally involved when you got here."
"Yes...well, I thought we might be."
"I see." He said as he gave a sympathetic nod. "Younger women, they are impetuous. It's not her fault really. It's just a phase they go through till they're about...thirty." He said a laughed.
"What about what I said a minute ago?"
"But," he continued, disregarding my request for a response. "when they make up their mind on any given day one way or the other, you just have to let them do it. What she's doing now, no matter how you feel about it, it's her choice. It's about how she feels about it, not you. I guarantee, if you leave her alone and stop chasing her, she'll come running right back to you. And when she does, just take whatever she offers and let her go her way. It's all you'll get but its better than nothing, is the way to look at it." He stood from his desk and walked back around and sat down. He pulled a drawer open and I wondered if the conversation was to get my guard down so he could pull a gun out of his desk and kill me. Instead, he pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. "Probably better than having her all to yourself, as a matter of fact." He poured himself a glass. "Drink?" He asked, holding the bottle over the other glass.
