by Jason Kenyon
‘How I didn’t miss you, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said.
Archimegadon struck him soundly with the Staff of Antagules. ‘I seem to have caused quite a stir with this firestorm,’ he said. ‘I believe it is time for us to depart.’
‘You did this?’ Neurion asked.
‘Indeed so,’ the mage replied. ‘For I am Archimegadon!’
Another building exploded.
‘Cast that one, did you?’ Obdo asked.
‘Silence, you oaf,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Clearly there are some people who cannot help but try to emulate me, no doubt to capture some small essence of my greatness.’
‘Of course,’ Obdo said. ‘Maybe you should punish them for it.’
‘Well, much as that is called for,’ the mage said, ‘perhaps we should be off instead.’
Archimegadon cast his eyes about as he looked for the nearest way out when his gaze fell upon Mesellanillian Altabranorius.
‘What on earth are you doing here?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘Well, actually…’ Mesellanillian began.
‘He came here to kill you, Sir Mage,’ Obdo said. ‘He was a bit miffed that you beat him.’
‘Shut up, Obdo,’ Mesellanillian said.
‘Well, isn’t that familiar,’ Obdo said.
‘Came here to kill me, eh?’ Archimegadon asked, looking a bit wary despite his lofty tone of voice. ‘I advise you not to try. At this moment in time I am in a very bad mood, so it would be in your best interests to stay on my good side.’
‘Don’t worry yourself,’ Mesellanillian said with a growl. ‘I’ve already agreed not to try.’
‘I am not worried, sir!’ Archimegadon said. ‘Why, I could smite you on the spot, you overblown windbag!’
‘That’s it, I’m off,’ Mesellanillian said, drawing himself up. ‘If I am not allowed to kill him, then I cannot remain here any longer.’ He glared at Archimegadon. ‘Otherwise I may get tempted too far. Good day!’
The sorcerer disappeared and the three companions looked at each other for a few seconds.
‘Now what did you do that for?’ Obdo asked. ‘He was being nice. Besides, he can cast some pretty good spells. He may not know many curses, but he’s got a nifty explody spell.’
‘Silence,’ Archimegadon said. ‘He does not control the full power of Flamebolt as I do. Besides, the man is a fool. We do not need him.’
‘If you say so,’ Obdo said with a shrug. ‘Can we get going?’
‘What about Valia?’ Neurion asked.
Archimegadon sighed. ‘We’d better find her. The imbecile won’t be able to survive by herself, I fear.’
The explosions wracking the base now were smaller, but they still made quite a noise. Luckily it seemed they were still far away, so the three adventurers ventured further into the base. Archimegadon kept a vigilant eye out for the unknown aggressor, who, it seemed, was by himself… or herself, possibly. Whoever it was seemed to be as powerful as an entire army. Certainly they had made a huge mess of the Dusk Alliance, which was probably all but sundered now.
‘What do we do if we run into Akarith?’ Obdo asked.
‘It depends, naturally,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘If the opportunity is good, then we take it. If not…’
‘You have a masterful way of stating the obvious.’
‘Shut up, Obdo,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Right you are, sir.’
Neurion had lit up his Pure Light again, and he was pointing it at every shadow he could see. ‘Can’t see Valia anywhere,’ he said.
‘What is that thing there, Neurion?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘It’s the Pure Light,’ Neurion replied. ‘Can cleanse the soul and make you look much cleaner.’
‘How useful,’ Archimegadon said. ‘If that is the case, why did you never try it on Obdo before?’
‘I… sort of… forgot it,’ Neurion replied.
‘How did you manage that?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘Well… it was one of my first lessons,’ Neurion replied.
‘How many lessons did you take?’
‘More or less fifty,’ Neurion replied.
‘Fifty?’ Archimegadon frowned. ‘No wonder you don’t know anything, Neurion. Did you never think of specialising?’
‘Why?’ Neurion looked puzzled. ‘Isn’t it better for me to know everything?’
Archimegadon ran his hand through his hair. ‘Daah! You idiot! You’re rubbish at everything! Why didn’t you simply learn a few things and become a master at them? Rather than wasting your money on doing the basics of everything?’
‘When you put it like that…’
Obdo put out a hand to hold them both back. ‘Wait… I see someone trapped over there. I think it’s a woman.’
‘Ah, Valia, looks like we’re here to rescue you in time,’ Archimegadon said, striding over.
It wasn’t Valia, though. It was Akarith, stuck underneath a wooden beam. Archimegadon’s first thought was that she must be dead, but on closer look she was still breathing. Her eyes opened at Archimegadon’s voice.
‘Who is Valia?’ Akarith asked, her voice weaker than before but still with a backbone of iron. ‘I see you found your friends, mage. Still going to carry out my quest?’
‘Well, perhaps,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Then again, now that we’ve reached this point, perhaps we’d better have a little chat first, eh?’
‘What’s up?’ Obdo asked. ‘You know this lady?’
‘This lady is Akarith Kellason,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Leader of the broken Dusk Alliance.’
‘It isn’t broken!’ Akarith said. ‘I… just need to get… this blasted thing off me… then I can gather everyone and we’ll strike back!’ She pushed at the wooden beam, but it was hopeless.
‘How the mighty have fallen,’ Obdo said.
‘Shut up,’ Akarith said. ‘You have never been mighty, nor will you ever be.’
‘Right now I’m better off than you, milady,’ Obdo said.
‘Quiet, Obdo,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Quite right,’ Neurion said. ‘We must be magnanimous in…’
‘Shush,’ Archimegadon said. ‘Now then, as I was saying…’ He laughed mockingly at Akarith. ‘Such a shame, milady. And the poison was working so well with you too.’
‘Poison?’ Akarith looked a little worried.
‘Only in terms of words, milady,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘You were feeding out of my hand. There was no attack planned. All that stuff about the king was garbage. And you lapped it up.’
‘I did not!’ Akarith said. ‘I was suspicious of you all the time.’
‘Pssh, you can tell yourself that but you won’t believe it deep down,’ Archimegadon said.
‘Well, fine then, Mage for Hire,’ Akarith said. ‘But do tell where that plan was going.’
‘Ah… well…’ Archimegadon paused. ‘It was to delay you. Yes. Until our inside agent freed me and my friends.’
‘Of course,’ Akarith said, smirking.
‘Enough of this babble,’ Archimegadon said. ‘What is important is that I have single-handedly defeated Akarith Kellason, and we can now kill her and deliver her to Lord Auber Bartell as planned.’
Akarith’s smirk faded and true concern filled her eyes. ‘Wait, wait! I can make you rich, mage. Really rich! Think of it… all that money. Eh?’
‘Oh, balls to that,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Compared to the legitimate money I will make? Tush.’
‘Not as much as what I can offer,’ Akarith said.
‘Money is worthless if I am an outlaw who cannot spend it,’ Archimegadon said. ‘I will stick with the original plan.’
‘You don’t have to kill me, you know,’ Akarith said. ‘You could take me there alive.’
‘Admittedly it would save me the displeasure of bloodying these robes,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I gave you those robes,’ Akarith said.
‘Well, you stole my last lot, thief,’ Archimegadon said.
�
��Want us to free her?’ Neurion asked.
‘Get some ropes and bind her hands,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘After checking she doesn’t have any knives to hand, of course.’
‘I’d rather you bound my hands than killed me,’ Akarith said. ‘I won’t try to stab you.’
‘Ooh, ooh, can I carry her?’ Obdo asked. ‘I carried the Shadow’s head… I’d be ideal.’
Archimegadon narrowed his eyes. ‘She’s probably three times your age, Obdo. Furthermore she is our prisoner. Clean up your mind at once.’
Obdo’s shoulders fell. ‘Come on…’
‘Excuse me, I am not that old!’ Akarith said. ‘Yes, I’ll be brushing my fifties in a couple of years, but…’ She glared at Archimegadon. ‘Besides, people always tell me I look very young for my age.’
‘Perhaps you do, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and he are an unsuitable match,’ Archimegadon said.
‘I wasn’t arguing for that reason,’ Akarith said, her eyes flashing.
Neurion set about binding her hands while Obdo sized up the wooden beam. ‘It’ll take all three of us to move it, I think,’ he said. ‘Might be a little tough, even then.’
‘We shall manage it,’ Archimegadon said. ‘To work, men.’
Fortunately for Akarith, who would have been the first to suffer had they dropped it, the three companions managed to lift the beam clear without any trouble whatsoever. Until Neurion’s grip slipped and it landed on Archimegadon’s and Obdo’s feet. Neurion, who knew for an instant that it was going to drop, was able to dodge out the way. Akarith laughed at them.
‘Divine justice, Mage for Hire,’ Akarith said. ‘Do you have a rating system? I have a bad report to make about you.’
‘Fortunately I have no such foolish system,’ Archimegadon said, ‘but psychotic women who string me up and threaten me wouldn’t be allowed to leave feedback anyway.’
‘What about Valia?’ Neurion asked.
‘Well, she didn’t string me up but the rest fits,’ Archimegadon replied.
‘I meant should we look for her?’ Neurion asked.
‘She probably escaped long before us,’ Archimegadon replied. ‘Let’s get out and wait, and if she doesn’t show we’ll check the ruins after the… ah… the copycat has gone.’
‘Did anyone see who it was?’ Obdo asked.
‘He was wearing a great big cloak,’ Akarith replied. ‘I’m guessing he didn’t want anyone to know who he was.’
‘Who asked you to speak?’ Archimegadon asked.
‘That little man there,’ Akarith replied, pointing at Obdo.
‘Leave me out of this,’ Obdo said.
‘I can see what this journey is going to be like,’ Akarith said.
*
The cloaked man wiped his hands and surveyed the base. Not a soul moved. It had been a perfect test. Everything had worked according to plan, and the power he now wielded was far beyond what even he had expected.
Perfect. That was all that needed to be said.
The air next to him shimmered and a strange old man appeared.
‘My, my, what a mess you have made,’ the old man said.
‘I tried,’ the cloaked man said with a smile.
‘Problem is, I can’t be letting you live, fellow,’ the old man said.
‘Oh, don’t spoil it,’ the cloaked man said. ‘I don’t want to have to kill you. I was here for the Dusk Alliance.’
‘I let that fellow Vortagenses go, and he founded a bloody kingdom of you fools,’ the old man said. ‘Nope, sorry old chap. This is it for you.’
‘Very well,’ the cloaked man said. He turned to face the old man. ‘Kalahd!’
The old man raised a hand and then froze in shock. ‘Wait, my powers! What…’
It took the cloaked man just a second to draw his sword and run the old man through. He watched the light in the old man’s eyes fade away to nothing before kicking the man off his sword. Too bad. What a waste.
Now then, there was more work to be done, and not too much time left. He decided to set out straight away. After all, it was still a few days to Aldrack.
Chapter Sixteen: Round the Campfire
Archimegadon could honestly say that he had never felt better. Standing there, looking across the vastness that was Valanthas, whole and well, he was perfectly content. When he had left the Mage School in Melethas he had doubted Sen Delarian’s word that he would receive the two thousand relorans for the delivery of the first amulet and now the delivery of this second one. Certainly, he had not even considered the possibility, which was probably why he had allowed himself to be dragged on this ridiculous quest to battle the Dusk Alliance’s leader.
Now, though, everything had changed. Thanks to the intervention of that strange cloaked fellow, he had Akarith in his custody. Not only that, but the Dusk Alliance was finished. The survivors had gathered in the nearby forest and few remained, a fact which Obdo had been sent to investigate. Obdo had returned and confirmed it. The Dusk Alliance thieves had decided to disband and go back to the easier way of life.
They had also confirmed another thing – Valia was alive and well, and apparently she had developed an interest in Felick Broadblade, for she had last been seen running off into the woods with him. Archimegadon had dismissed this last news, since he had expected little else of the foolish knight. Especially since their band was now better off without her.
So nobody would be pursuing him for vengeance, Akarith was ready for delivery to Bartell, and the red amulet was still in his hands, along with the letter. He had earnt the five relorans, and soon he was going to be two thousand relorans richer. That would buy more than a lordship! He could purchase a vast swathe of land, and servants to run it for him. A castle to reign from! And that holiday to the Isles of Filikis, of course.
Since first running into Obdo he had grown richer by quite a significant amount, which was more than he had earnt over the last few years. Archimegadon debated hiring Obdo to run one of his farms as a mild way of showing gratitude, but no need to be too nice, eh?
Lord Archimegadon. Soon enough, he thought to himself. Mage for Hire no longer. Not even a hired mage. Maybe not even a mage… just Lord Archimegadon of Melethas and its environs. Would he be sad to hang up his mage’s robes and live it up as a lord? Perhaps a little. His journeys over the last few years had certainly been amusing from time to time, barring the occasional slip-up or dangerous encounter. Even despite the immeasurable rudeness of many people, Archimegadon had commanded a certain amount of respect as a Mage for Hire. He had even, on the very rare occasion, actually helped people with his own abilities.
Bah! Such sentimental nonsense was for fools. He could pay someone to be miserable in his stead in just a couple of days. He could hire a troupe of players to write a tragedy about it and perform the whole thing for him. What did he have to be miserable about? Nothing! Everything was at last on an upturn, and there was nothing that could bring a halt to the stampede that was Archimegadon, soon-to-be Lord of Melethas.
Archimegadon smiled indulgently one last time on that rock, overlooking the land he had once worked for, before turning and heading back towards his companions and the camp they had set up.
*
‘So tell me straight,’ Gelenn said. ‘The entire base is destroyed?’
‘Some of the walls are still standing,’ Mortimyr replied. ‘The entire inside has been burnt to ashes. We came a long way for nothing.’
‘What are we going to do now?’ Terrill asked. ‘I mean, we didn’t actually do anything. I don’t think we can lie that we destroyed everything, can we?’
‘Hey, I’m a good mage,’ Gelenn replied, with one of her familiar swift smiles, ‘but I can’t take out armies yet.’ She folded her arms. ‘I’m working on it, though.’
‘Never mind that,’ Mortimyr said. ‘What are we going to do? We’re already low on money since that weaselly clerk went missing. We just spent a week walking across the forest for nothing.’
&nbs
p; ‘I think it means we’ll be sleeping outside for a bit,’ Terrill said. ‘Imagine that, though. I wonder which army blew the Dusk Alliance up.’
‘I hope it wasn’t Bartell’s, unless he forgot he hired us,’ Mortimyr said.
‘He’s not very reliable,’ Gelenn said.
‘I blame the clerk,’ Terrill said. ‘He’s the one who hired us without Sen knowing in the first place.’
‘Though Sen gave us the second to pay for all,’ Gelenn said. ‘Double or nothing.’
‘We’ve been had,’ Mortimyr said. ‘I just know it.’
‘How’s the money from the Shadow faring?’ Terrill asked. ‘Surely we haven’t got through fifty vallins yet?’
‘Since we’ve been wandering around forests we’re still fairly well off,’ Gelenn replied. ‘But we spent a whole load on food supplies.’
‘Still, fifty vallins was a lot of money for killing a demon of that sort,’ Terrill said. ‘But we could have done with those thousand relorans for the wand, not to mention the bonus thousand relorans for killing off the Dusk Alliance.’
‘Haven’t seen any relorans for a long while,’ Mortimyr said.
‘Things’ll pick up,’ Terrill said. ‘Just you wait.’
‘So where next?’ Gelenn asked. ‘Aldrack? Shall we knock on Bartell’s door and get those thousand relorans?’
‘That’s what that mage told us to do,’ Mortimyr replied. ‘“Oh, just drop by and he’ll be sure to pay you, if his clerk doesn’t have the cash”. Mages are criminals.’
‘Hey, watch it,’ Gelenn said.
‘Not you two,’ Mortimyr said. ‘But that Mage School bunch… either they’re money-grabbers running it, or they’re idiots who “trained” there. You remember that joker we ran into when we killed the Shadow?’
‘Vaguely,’ Terrill replied, grinning. ‘I think he actually believed he killed it, too.’
‘Waster,’ Mortimyr said. ‘I have half a mind to teach him a lesson if we run into him again.’
‘Oh, be nice,’ Gelenn said. ‘He’s only like that because they didn’t bother training him. It’s expensive too – he needs to make the money back somehow.’
