Ji turned away, unable to look at her while he listened to the rest. “What recourse do females have in bad situations?”
Seta shrugged as she thought about it. “Most females in the Suzerains private corral spend their time learning how to manipulate and seduce what they want from him, since they accept their value is in his service. I have known some in the progeny zenana to try and hide in the shadows, hoping the suzerain would forget about them. Hiding never lasted long because his administrator records every birth. Reports about each female are sent regularly with ratings on achievements, beauty, and other saleable factors. Arranging a mate for a female with little beauty or grace is seen as an arduous task, but also as a good businessman’s challenge.”
To keep from shaking the complacency out of her voice, Ji went to a chair by the window where he could watch Seta and still keep a lookout. “What happens to females like you who manage to escape Ethos?”
“The suzerain might never admit it, but I think Rena and I were the first to do so. Of course, we were being aided by an emissary and a demon. Escaping was not a circumstance either of us controlled at the time it happened, even though I mostly have a full memory of it. Rena and I argued many times after she was returned to her body about why it happened to the two of us and not to others. She wished us both dead because she saw our survival as an abomination to her beliefs. By that point I was glad my life had been extended, whoever the benefactor. The fight over our destined fate was the first genuine disagreement we had ever had in our lives. It turned out to also be the last one.”
Ji made a sound low in his throat. “You have a demon you haven’t mastered controlling and a half-mad Siren who wants to kill every male who looks at you. I don’t think your odds are quite as good as they were last time. The emissary was probably your edge.”
“Yes. Perhaps my current reality is a bit more of a challenge. I can almost hear Malachi laughing at my predicament and telling me how much I will learn from it,” Seta said, crossing her arms. “Actually—I’m fairly sure I could escape with Zorinda’s help alone. You are not needed for that.”
Ji frowned. It was hard to listen to the horrid stories of her past without getting angry. “Do you think your courage and strength stings my male ego? If the creature within you can aid your escape from this place, she has my full support. But you’re not wanting to escape yet, are you?”
Seta studied his face and somehow knew Ji would discover the full truth even if she tried to lie. “No. I have no intentions of escaping yet. I have no intentions of killing Suzerain Trax yet either. I plan to track down my Trax sibling and see why the mining canton bought her. In the process of doing so, I hope to find some leverage to hold over my horrible sire’s head until he does what he promised.”
“Suzerain Trax’s offspring is not his family—or at least the females aren’t. They’re his business. Do you really think the suzerain will ever do what you want? His promises are not worth trusting.”
Seta nodded. “Yes. You speak the truth. But I must believe something can be done because it is a risk I feel I have to take. Otherwise, my escape and continued life mean nothing. Rena made the ultimate sacrifice for our escape by leaving the emissary her body to use. As futile as this quest seems to those not born on my planet, I still have to try to better the lives of those who will never taste complete freedom.”
Ji bowed his head to Seta and then raised his gaze to hers. “That’s the most irrational thing I have ever heard a female say.”
Seta snorted at the scorn in his tone. “Glad I could be a three-hundred year old Siren’s first for something. You don’t have to help me in this task, Ji. I did not ask you to come and intervene on my behalf.”
Ji rose from his chair and walked to where his destiny stood staring at him with determination. “Just because your quest is foolish and destined to disappoint you, it does not mean I don’t think you are acting bravely. We will consider my assistance as your first mating gift from me.”
“Mating gift? Why must we go over this time and again? I feel no such connection to you, Ji Warro of Rylen. Perhaps I am not the only one who has set themselves upon a foolish quest destined to end in disappointment. I do not wish to be your mate.”
Ji laughed. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Seta.”
“I don’t,” Seta said, stepping away from his arms.
“The abysmal life which made you shut down your feelings has ironically made you the perfect mate for a jaded male like me. Sirens love to conquer their partners. I will enjoy winning your full affection, no matter how many Earth years it takes.”
He stepped closer as Seta stepped farther backwards. Her retreat reminded him of his tiny office on the Guardian 13 and the many times he’d all but chased her around it.
“Do not think you will bend me to your will,” Seta declared. “I would kill you first. Arghane’s lame attempts used up all my patience for such things.”
When her back hit a wall, maintaining a safe distance between their bodies became an impossibility. Seta hissed when Ji’s hard, muscled form pressed along her scantily clothed body. She heard a string of Siren—swearing again, most likely—just before she heard his hands smack the walls on either side of her head.
She braced for his sensual possession, but his mouth landing softly against her trembling lips was oddly reassuring. Whimpering at the sweetness his gentle kiss offered, Seta stood on her toes and reached up for more. She wrapped her arms around Ji’s wide shoulders to hold him in place while she thoroughly kissed him back. He had taught her both how to kiss him and how to please him, but she was starting to see just how restrained he had been with her in his lovemaking.
His breathing was ragged when she regretted her enthusiastic reaction and dropped back down.
Her face was hot with turbulent emotion as she bowed her head to avoid looking into his eyes. Zorinda’s power was suspiciously quiet within her. In fact, she had never felt weaker around another creature. She wanted badly to lie with Ji on the decadent sleeping platform in this horrible room and let the Siren pleasure her as he had before. To want that act with him—especially in a place where other males had taken her without regard—made her more ashamed than remembering what those other males had done to her. She had no qualms at all about demeaning herself with the Siren.
“One day in the future, when your female energy is truly healed, you will get a vastly different reaction from me to challenges of that sort. Until then, don’t fight me too hard, Seta. It just makes me want you more. While we are here I prefer to keep thinking of myself as a little more enlightened than the males you grew up around on Ethos.”
“Males are illogical. I don’t understand what is so appealing about a female’s honest resistance to being physically used,” Seta whispered.
Ji pushed away, his body aching with a need he would not relieve just because he knew he could convince her to accommodate him. The Siren’s call threatened to make itself felt again and he was glad he’d had the Paladin’s medic install a second libido dampening implant before he came after Seta. The dampener allowed him to think a little more clearly than he might have otherwise. The last thing his prospective mate needed was one more dominant male taking what he wanted without regard to her true wishes.
One thing for sure, coming here and seeing her past completely explained Seta’s resistance to his pursuit of her on the Paladin. Meeting any male’s desire meant nothing to someone as mistreated as she had been. It was a sad, sobering thought to realize Seta might be too damaged to ever be the happy female he would like to one day make her.
“Should we go out and seek food?” Ji asked. He wasn’t hungry, but by the Creators, he needed a big distraction. There was a hole inside him larger than a Zoon crater. It needed to be filled with something.
Seta shook her head and walked to a com device near the sleeping platform. There were only three buttons. One called for the guards. One called for a pleasure box. The third was for food and that was the one
she pushed now. She had seen all three used during her time spent in this room.
Looking up, she saw Ji prowling restlessly. She wondered what the talented Siren would think about the pleasure box and all its restraints. A shudder went through her at the thought that Ji might grow jaded about his organic bonding methods one day and have some need for that kind of stimulation. Feeling such worry over his preferences should have made her angry, but instead it just made her sad. For the duration of time they shared a sleep space, she had no wish to disappoint the Siren with her disgust of his extreme maleness. She needed to try and see him differently.
“Food will arrive shortly. I have a question—if you care to answer. Have you ever restrained your females during bonding?”
“What in Helios kind of question is that to ask me?” Ji demanded, ceasing his pacing to stare at her serious gaze on his.
Seta looked away. “Perhaps it was an inappropriate one, given your shock. Returning to Ethos—memories of this room—I can’t prevent what feelings arise. The suzerain would be quite pleased with the mental torture this place causes me. One of the buttons on his com device calls for a pleasure box. There are many things in it, but mostly it is filled with various kinds of restraints. They prove useful to many union suitors since the average female almost never comes here willingly. My mate often used them on me because I never stopped fighting him. Rena was choked to death with a restraint when she died the first time on Ethos. That’s why the emissary found no spirit in her body. I was still fighting for my life, but Rena was already gone.”
Ji ran a hand through his hair and down his braid. As much as he hated it, he had to answer her. Without truth, there could be no trust. “I am a Siren, Seta. There have been many females in my life. Like your past, I cannot change what I did before I knew you. I can honestly say I never restrained a female against her will, only at her request. And there was always pleasure.”
“I see,” Seta said, rubbing the knot forming in her stomach. So Ji’s careful bonding with her was…what? Was his patience just an act?
“Please don’t look at me like I hit you. It was painful for me to offer you such an answer, knowing what you have endured. In exchange for my honesty, I need to hear you say you believe me when I say I would never in any way harm you or force you to do something you did not want to do.”
Seta bowed her head slowly and raised it slowly. “I believe you mean your statement insofar as you can see the future. Are you so very certain the restraints brought pleasure to the females?”
Ji glared. “At the risk of seeming a boastful male—yes. It brought them pleasure. I took a class in pleasure restraints when I was doing my advanced studies at academy. I am quite proficient. When done correctly, it is an effective technique for building anticipation and high arousal in your partner.”
“Or for building dread and fear in someone you wish to control,” Seta declared. When Ji’s jaw tightened, she knew she’d pressed her point too hard. Fortunately, a knock on the door heralded their meal. Ji started across the floor to answer.
“No, Ji. Sit. Males sit. In my culture a female answers the door and receives the food,” Seta ordered, pushing on his arm to turn him towards the chair. “Please. Let me observe protocol so we do not draw unwanted attention to ourselves.”
Huffing, but finally compliant, she watched until Ji sat down and glared at her.
Taking a deep breath, Seta opened their door and offered the traditional greeting, which was returned in kind. Two scantily clad females carried covered trays of food through the door. She knew one tray was for this evening. The other was for the morning.
Seta thanked them for their service, glared at their canton guard escort, and closed the door behind them.
“I’m sorry I spoke so harshly to you after you were kind enough to answer my question. But I didn’t want the serving females reporting back to anyone you were answering the door and handling food in my place. I prefer the males we encounter to believe you are like them. It will go a long way towards them leaving me alone if they think you control me,” Seta said quietly.
“Do you think I’m like them? Is that how you see me?” Ji demanded, his heart hurting when he saw doubt in her gaze.
Seta shook her head. “I don’t think so. Not really. But I am more confused here than I was on the ship. Everything I have read about Sirens and their mating relationships sounds a lot like the business mating arrangements on Ethos. The only difference I can discern is Sirens possess the talent to grant a female pleasure and they derive something in return for doing so. Bonding in general is a coarse act with little to recommend it from my point of view. I have changed my mind some since being with you, but it would not surprise me to discover you were the only exception.”
“A concession that a fully trained Siren can pleasure a female is hardly worth giving voice to, Seta. All males of all species are equipped to pleasure their females, but not all males choose to do so. Sirens are compelled—but with a mate. . .” Ji’s sigh of disappointment echoed in the room. “A Siren lives to learn what pleases his mate and to do so as often as he or she is granted the right. And that is how we view the act. Bonding is a boon and a gift. A mate’s surrender is the most sought after thing on my planet because it is something which must be given with complete trust. You have no idea how much I envy Zade even though I don’t understand how he could have such mated bliss with a female like Commander Jet. She is not the kind of female who ever surrenders. If I knew him better, I would ask for his secrets. You can tell he has not addicted her to him.”
Seta snorted. “Yes. I admit I have always pondered their relationship as well. I envy Commander Jet’s warrior nature. I am not as fierce—and way more confused about males.”
Ji was still looking at her, but she had nothing further to say to him on the matter. The Siren would never understand. She didn’t long for a mating the way most females did. She never had and couldn’t imagine ever doing so. As an angry, abused Ethosian female, she also couldn’t imagine a more disappointing female for a Siren to want to bind himself to forever.
“Come and eat, Ji. They have sent two meals. One is for tonight. The other is for tomorrow. If you have never seen our food, you might not be able to tell the difference without me. Please come to the table. It would honor me to serve you.”
“Seta,” Ji waited until she turned to him. “You are complex, beautiful, and have a greater grace under pressure than any other creature I’ve known. You have rebounded from abuse, from suffering, and come back from death itself. I have seen the demon in control of your body and yet your spirit found its way back from oblivion. I have seen you grieving for Rena. But I have also seen you melting with pleasure in my arms—felt you experiencing it for the first time. And absolutely everything we have shared has increased my compassion for you. My quest is to win your heart, Seta Trax. If I do that properly, you will agree to become my mate when asked. And I swear I will respect and honor your body.”
Seta sighed and dropped her head to stare at the floor. “Please. I can’t talk about this anymore. Come to the table, Ji.”
She sighed in relief when he finally rose from his chair and walked to the table.
Chapter 5
Seta woke from the best sleep she’d gotten on Ethos to find herself draped over Ji’s naked chest. His hand stroked her hair with a tenderness no one but Rena had ever shown her. She lifted her face and watched his smile in waking welcome.
“Blessed day. I woke at first light and found you had crawled on top of me in your sleep.”
Seta blinked at how attractive Ji was. This was always her first thought when she saw him.
“I got cold in the night. Instead of reaching for a cover, I guess I reached for you.”
Ji ran a hand over Seta’s face. Sometimes she looked as innocent as a child. Perhaps she still was one in many ways. But fortunately she was a grown female in all the right ways. “It pleases me to know you would do so. I very much like keeping you warm.”
Seta pulled away slightly, not wanting to bolt and hurt the tentative peace between them. She already regretted their too personal discussion the previous evening. Nothing they had done together merited a requirement for Ji to confess all his past actions with other females to her. Truth was—she didn’t really want to know any details. It was easier to tolerate the Siren without knowing very much.
“Do Ethosians read energy?” Ji rolled sideways until Seta slid down beside him.
“Some do,” Seta answered carefully, wondering why Ji asked such a question. “Rena was intuitive, but she did not read energy the way I do. Truthfully though, I cannot tell now what skills the demon provides and what is innate. My memories before Zorinda are blurred, probably because there is not much during that time which I care to recall. Ania warned me the demon could be influencing almost everything I believe to be truth. I’ve learned to skeptical and not take anything for granted.”
“Will the guards or your father be able to sense that nothing really happened between us last night?”
Ji’s practical question had her looking away and plucking at the bed covers. Arghane would know. She could tell he was intuitive about such things because she constantly fought off his energy. Her nod was followed by a sigh. “My father will not know, but Arghane will.”
She froze when Ji covered her body with his in answer. Did he expect to bond this morning? His interest was obvious against her, but her interest was not activated at all. Worry tightened her muscles instinctively. Earthlings were infamous for the strong flight or fight urge built into their biological defenses. Yet nearly all alien cultures felt some similar urge under threatening circumstances. She certainly did, and it was all she could do not to push Ji off of her.
“Stop flinching with me,” Ji ordered, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I would never, ever force you to accept me physically. But I do want to mark you so it appears we spent last night indulging. It is a ruse which will keep you off-limits and keep me from killing the chief guard for leering at you in front of me.”
The Tracker's Quest: (Forced To Serve #6) Page 4
