by Flynn Eire
"You dishonor yourself, Dimika," Alexander hissed as he raised his head off my chest. I instantly stopped stroking his hair and raised my head to look into his eyes. The look I saw made me gasp. Alexander was pissed off. If I couldn't tell from the ferocity of his gaze, the way his lips pulled back over his fangs was a dead giveaway.
"How did I do that?" I asked quietly, stunned at his reaction. I didn't understand. Why was he pissed after what we just shared? It was the best moment of my life, and he was pissed off? That sooo didn't seem right to me.
"You tried to trick me," he snarled as he pushed himself up off of me.
"I'm sorry, Alexander," I whispered, trying to keep back the tears that were forming in my eyes. "I didn't throw the fight. You really did win, I couldn't beat you."
"I'm not talking about that," Alexander snapped as he reached for his shorts. "I mean during the sex. You tried to trick me into claiming you. You used the heat of the moment to try and bind me to you for all eternity."
"I didn't, I swear," I replied as I felt the shock of his words wash over me. That wasn't part of the plan, when had I done that? "I never even thought to try and have you claim me, you have to believe me, Alexander."
"Then why say you were always mine?" He asked with a smirk, clearly not believing me. He pulled his shorts on so roughly I was surprised they didn't rip. "Why did you tilt your head and bare your neck to me?"
"I am yours," I said, sitting up and reaching for my own shorts. Suddenly I needed to not be naked around Alexander anymore. "I didn't realize I was offering myself to you like that at the time. I-I didn't even think about you claiming me. It just felt right. I'm sorry."
"You mean that, don't you?" Alexander asked, turning that all knowing gaze on me and searching my face for the truth. I looked straight into his eyes and nodded as I pulled my own shorts on. I never meant for it to go this far.
"I would never try and trick someone into being my mate," I answered, still nodding like an idiot. "I don't want someone who doesn't want to be my mate. That wouldn't be fair to either of us."
"Good," he replied as he bent to pick up his sword. "You need to be more careful with any other partners you might have, Dimitri. I realize it was your first time, but you can't get swept up in passion and forget yourself like that."
"I don't want anyone else. There won't be any others," I whispered quietly. I knew the only reason he heard me is because of our excellent vampiric hearing. "I wouldn't have done that with anyone but you, Alexander."
Then he did the worst possible thing he could have as a response . . . he laughed. Alexander laughed so hard it took him a few minutes to recover. I had to turn away from him, the pain swelling in my chest became too much.
"You are still young, Dimitri," he finally chuckled. "You don't know what you want."
"I am not a child," I snarled turning back to him. "Don't tell me I don't know my own feelings. I'm not that twenty-four year old boy you met half a century ago, Alexander. I'm over seventy-five years old. Most humans are mated with children and grandchildren by that age. This is not some school school-boy crush."
"Call it what you like, but you don't know any better," he said as he waved off my response like it was a pesky fly. I never once, ever, have been mad at him before. Always I respected and loved Alexander. I was so pissed off in that moment I was surprised steam wasn't coming out of my ears. I stormed over to him and grabbed him by the shirt he had just put back on.
"Don't brush away my feelings like that, Alexander," I snarled as I picked him up off the ground to put us at eye level. Even at the height of six foot three I still have five or so inches on him. "I love you. I know I love you, Alexander. It might have started out as some schoolboy crush but it grew into something more. I love you more than I love myself, more than anyone else in the world."
"That's not my fault," he said, narrowing his eyes at me in anger. "I never asked you to love me. I don't love you, I don't even want you, Dimitri."
I dropped him to his feet so fast, as if touching him burned my hand. "It's no one's fault how I feel, Alexander. I can't help the way I feel about you. But don't laugh at me or my feelings."
"Fine, I won't laugh at you," he replied as he straightened his shirt and retrieved the sword he'd dropped. "Either way, it doesn't matter. I don't want you. We will never be mated. You need to move on to someone else, someone who will return your love."
I didn't even have the chance to reply because he spun on his heel and stalked out of the ring.
Not that I could think of a damn thing to say at that moment anyway. I was too busy holding my hand over my chest as if to keep my breaking heart inside my body. Right at that moment I wished he had killed me in battle instead of fucked me after it. Right at that moment I hated Alexander for being so cruel to me. Right at that moment, I hated myself for being so stupid and loving him.
Chapter 2
That night, as I showered myself, I scrubbed as hard as I could in scalding hot water. It was if I was trying to wash the anguish I felt off of me. No matter how hard I scoured I couldn't get rid of it. I felt like a character in Hamlet, "Out damn spot." But nothing worked.
Finally I just gave up and crawled into bed. Never had I felt so alone, so lost, in my own bed before. It was like, even though we hadn't had sex in my bed, I missed his presence. I did something that night I can't ever remember having done before . . . I cried. I cried so hard and for so long exhaustion finally overwhelmed me and I slept.
As if things couldn't get worse, I dreamed of being with Alexander over and over again.
"You will always want me, Dimika, and no one else."
"Yes, only you Alexander . . . ," I cried as I tilted my head to the side, baring my neck to him. "I'm yours forever."
"Mine, yes, you are mine," Alexander growled.
It played out just as it had in real life until that moment. In the dream though, instead of pulling my neck away from him, he bit me. Alexander plunged his fangs into my neck and claimed me. In the dream, he made me his for all eternity. As only true mates could.
I awoke with a start, my hand going to my neck, frantically trying to find where he bit me. Then reality hit me like a ton of bricks. He hadn't claimed me, not really, only in the dream. I sunk back into bed, wiping my eyes before I started to cry again.
Why had he told me I was his if he really didn't want me? Was it some game to him? He didn't want me but he didn't want anyone else to have me either? He seemed like he wanted me so badly at the time . . . but then why say he didn't afterwards?
I threw my hands over my face and screamed in frustration. Then, like a switch was thrown in my head, I laughed. Of course he didn't want me. Alexander could have anyone he wanted, why the fuck would he want me? I knew I wasn't bad to look at. I was six foot eight and over three hundred pounds of solid, toned muscle. I kept my blond hair shorter than his, and stylish, but still out of my face so as to not distract me in battle.
Was it something he saw when I was naked that made him not want me? I'd seen others in the group showers after training, I knew where I stood. I was well endowed, even for a man as big as I was. I rolled over and looked at the clock, realizing I had to get my ass in gear. Rank in the camp not only came with extra privileges, but also more responsibilities.
As third warrior in rank for the camp, I was only under Alexander and the council member who oversaw everything. Seeing as I was still young for one of our race they had agreed I should be in charge of the pre-transition vampires. I had never doubted that decision or the intentions behind it before.
As I got dressed now though, I wondered. Had Alexander set it up this way so I wouldn't be around the other warriors? But why would he try to seclude me from everyone else if he didn't want me? Thousands of questions swirled in my head as I left my room and jogged over to my first class. I desperately tried to push it all out of my head and put on my teacher façade.
Reaching the gym I quickly pulled open the door and walked inside as if I didn't h
ave a care in the world. I almost smiled when I saw the other warriors leaning against the wall. Today was a demonstration day: how to fight off, and defensive maneuvers against, a pack of Zakasac. That was the term we used for the vampires who had crossed over to the dark side. The translation from ancient Slavic was 'the bringer of death' or 'to be bitten to death.' It seemed a fairly accurate term considering what Zakasacs were.
Zakasac were once vampires as we were, but they chose to take lives for the power it gave them. Unlike us, who drank blood for necessity. Our race had strict rules about killing humans or other vampires. The only way to become Zakasac is to drain someone completely. They might gain more strength and speed, but they gave up the sunlight and their souls.
Human myths of vampires stem from the Zakasac. Soulless demons who slaughter for the thrill of the kill, and burn in the sun or if they touch or hold items. They were why our race had warriors and the camps to train them. Our job is to protect, our race and humans alike, from the threat of the Zakasac.
"There will be a time when you find yourself outnumbered," I said loudly. Every one of my students immediately hushed and turned to watch me. Again it almost made me smile, how eager my students were to learn. "I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that you'll only face one on one combat. And I'm also going to tell what you should do if you find yourself outnumbered . . . you run."
I waited until the gasps of surprise and whispers quieted before I continued. "If you are outnumbered there is no shame in running. Zakasacs are stronger, faster, and more powerful than us. This is why we fight in groups, as a team, to overpower them and win. If you find yourself alone and about to be attacked, you run. You run as hard and as fast as you can. You run and live so that you may fight to see another day."
A hand went up in the middle of the class, they were seated on the bleachers to see the demonstration. I nodded at the young man, Nate, who was one of my best students.
"I mean no disrespect, Dimitri, but have you ever run?" he asked searching my face. As much as I wanted to lie and not disappoint their eager faces, this was a lesson they had to learn.
"Yes, I have, Nate," I answered nodding, ignoring the whispers. "I've never run and left one of our race or a human unprotected. Nor have I ever run when I had other warriors with me, or anyone injured. We don't leave people behind or unprotected. I would willingly give my life in the fight to save another. But when I've been out on my own and had a pack of Zakasacs closing in on me? Fuck yeah, I've run. We all have. That's why we're still alive."
"How could you run from your enemy?" Another boy yelled out without even raising his hand. I looked up and sure enough, it was Lance. If there was ever a student I wanted to take outside and kick the crap out of just because he deserved it, it was Lance. Born of a wealthy, older family, he had a silver spoon stuck in his mouth from his birth. Unfortunately, his attitude made me want to shove that spoon right up his ass.
"If I may, Dimitri?" One of the other warriors pushed himself off the wall. I knew without even looking it was my best friend Matteo Dominguez. Even if I wasn't used to him always backing me up, his thick Spanish accent could never be mistaken. I nodded at him, giving him permission to address my class. "Listen up guys, because I'm only going to say this once. You are here to learn from us, we have centuries of experience in this room alone." As he took a pause to let his words sink in, Matteo looked intently at each of the students to drive his point home. "While we encourage you to ask questions, not a single one of you has any right to question us. Not our motives, our training, or our actions. If I ever hear anyone disrespect or question the honor of any warrior of the camp I will challenge them outright."
I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling as Matteo's words sank in and Lance visibly paled. But so like Matteo, he wasn't done yet.
"I don't care who you are or what family you're from. You're not with your parents anymore, you're here, and you belong to us. So, make no mistake about it, pretransition or not, I will challenge you." He narrowed his gaze on Lance as he drove the message home.
"I will challenge you, you will lose, and I will fuck you so hard you can't walk, and I will do it in front of every warrior and pre-transition in this camp," Matteo growled. He was scaring the shit out of my students, but I knew Matteo better than that. He would never hurt or degrade any of the students like that. "Do I make myself perfectly clear, Lance?"
"Yes, Matteo," Lance answered at barely a whisper. The boy's face had gone so pale so quickly I was surprised he hadn't passed out.
"Good," Matteo replied nodding before turning his attention towards the entire class, not just Lance. "Dimitri speaks the truth. While no warrior ever wants to admit he has run, we have all done it. Running is why we are still alive. I don't care if you're just out of your transition or if you're centuries old like Alexander, we all have done it."
Just the mention of Alexander's name was like a knife to my chest. I managed to ignore it, until I heard his voice, "Matteo is right. I have run. What Dimitri teaches you is truth. You find yourself alone with the enemy approaching, you run."
I rolled my eyes and cursed the powers that be, of course Alexander had to choose today to sit in on my glass. Seeing him leaning in the doorway out of the corner of my eye didn't help me stay calm. But I had a job to do. It was painful enough to think of him every waking second, I wouldn't let him distract me from my class, my teaching, and my job.
"Thank you, Matteo, Alexander," I said loudly nodding to each of them before I turned back to my class. "Today we're going to have a demonstration on what to do if you can't run. This isn't normal sparring or training. This is simply defensive maneuvers to help you get to the point where you can run. Never, ever, go on the offensive with a Zakasac pack. If they're too close for you to run, you defend and debilitate as best you can while you wait for your window to run."
I moved to the center of the gym where the mats were already laid out, pulled off my shirt, and threw it to the side. The six warriors who were helping me with the demonstration circled me as I moved into a defensive crouch. Two of the warriors lunged at me at the same time, exactly as we had seen Zakasac work in our battles. I kicked out hard at the warrior in front of me, then dove into a roll before the one behind me could land on my back.
My dive had two intentions, avoid my second attacker and take one of the others waiting by surprise. As I rolled to my feet I saw Alexander still leaning against the door, with a smirk on his face as he watched me. Immediately I was filled with such rage it was like its own living, breathing entity. I grabbed the next warrior who lunged for me by the arm and swung him so that he landed clear across the gym.
When the next one came at me, my mind was so clouded with hurt and anger I stopped seeing them as warriors. They were no longer my friends and fellow trainers, they were the enemy. I grabbed one of them and threw him hard into two other warriors, clearly catching them by surprise. One of them was brave enough, or stupid enough, to jump on my back. But then again, they didn't know I'd just snapped somewhere inside my head.
I reached over my head and grabbed the back of his shirt. In one single, powerful motion, I pulled him off me and over me. I kept the motion going until I slammed him on the floor so hard I heard something crack. When I saw someone else approaching me from the right, I picked up the man at my feet and flung him at my attacker. I didn't know how long we all fought, or the damage I had done until I realized no one else was attacking me.
Turning back to the class, I saw horrified, mesmerized looks of awe. Glancing around the gym, all six men lay unconscious and scattered. Fuck! I really had lost it. Alexander was still there watching me, but he no longer was smirking. He had a very serious frown on his face and it was directed at me. At first I started to feel bad that he was almost reprimanding me. Then I thought better of it. Fuck him! If he doesn't like it, he can leave.
"Does anyone have any questions?" I asked panting as I tried to control my breathing. Everyone in the class shook their heads. "Di
d this help? Do you now understand what we mean when we say defensive fighting and offensive fighting?"
I heard several of them say yes, and the others simply nodded while their mouths were still open and gaping.
"Good," I said, nodding like an idiot. "Then class is dismissed early. Everyone go head up to the mess hall. Except, Nate, come here for a second."
"Yes, Dimitri?" he asked after he climbed down the bleachers and walk over to me.
"On your way to breakfast, can you stop by the infirmary and tell them we need assistance at the gym?" I asked trying not to tip him off to the fact the demonstration hadn't gone according to plan.
"Of course, Dimitri," Nate replied, then jogged off towards the door. As everyone started to leave I turned and headed for the locker room. I knew I had to get my anger under control before the other warriors arrived and saw what I had done. Stripping off my shoes and shorts, I threw them in the direction of my locker and walked to the group showers. I turned one to full cold blast, not even flinching at the temperature as I stood under it, head hanging down in shame.
"You want to explain what that was?" Alexander asked, and I jumped, startled by the sound of his voice right behind me. Once again, we were talking while I was naked. Fuck.
As soon as I heard his wonderful voice, my whole body started shake. "I told everyone what it was, a demonstration on defensive fighting," I answered. I kept staring straight ahead at the shower tile as I put my hands on the wall to hold myself up. I really didn't think my knees were going to hold me up much longer.
"Don't lie to me, Dimitri," he replied. "Throw your bullshit somewhere else. I know you too well. You never lose control like that."
"I don't know what you're talking about," I said quietly. As if saying it softly made it less of a lie. "If I was so out of control, you would have jumped in and stopped me."
"Honestly, I was too startled by your behavior to react," Alexander stated. Just then I felt his hand touch my shoulder and again I jumped.
