We waited in silence until she finally continued.
"This lecture may be called 'seduction for inexperienced males', but please be assured that this will be interesting for all genders and levels of experience. I like to say that learning is never over, no matter how good you think you are at a subject. I myself still like to expand my knowledge, even though I've conducted hundreds of successful abductions.
"Seduction isn't just about getting your abductee into your bed, nest, roost or whatever sleeping arrangement your species prefers. It's about forming a lasting bond that combines friendship with something deeper. Your end goal is to make your abductee love you with all her heart or hearts - or whatever anatomy her kind associate with love. You do not necessarily have to have the same feelings for your abductee, but it helps if you want to keep her as a long-term mate.
"Every species has different courtship rituals and it's your responsibility to research how your abductee likes to be wooed. You can combine that with the traditions of your own species, but make sure that at least half of your actions correspond to what your new female is used to. You don't want to confuse her unnecessarily.
"I know you will be eager to proceed as fast as possible, but be aware that seduction can take time. Start slowly, take note of how your female responds to your advances, then adjust your strategy accordingly. Give her your full attention. Make her feel adored and cherished. Protect her from all outside threats, even if you don't perceive them as important. Always remember that your abductee may never have left her planet before and everything is new and strange to her. A simple wormhole jump could traumatise her if you've not prepared her well.
"As your first assignment in this module, I'd like you to make a list of all the seduction strategies you've read about during the research phase. Then sort them by intensity. If you have the choice between giving her a sweet treat versus marking her with your saliva, choose the former to start with. If you find a strategy that works well for your abductee, repeat it again and again, even if it becomes boring to you. Your abductee will let you know when she's ready to proceed to the next step."
She smiled, her third eye glazed over as if she was reminiscing over a past abduction. I was impressed that she'd abducted hundreds of beings. I hadn't thought it possible for a Karangi, known for their benevolence and kindness, to do this kind of work professionally, but maybe Professor Katila was an exception to her species' customs.
"Before we end this lecture, please be reminded to submit your practical assignment reports as soon as possible. Seduction is not part of the abduction assignment so you don't need to wait to complete this module before submitting your reports. However, if your probing went exceptionally well, you may include a short summary of it in your assignment."
Havel grinned happily at that. I was sure he expected us to get bonus points for our successful probing.
Xil switched off the screen, also smiling. This crew had never been happier. Even my own lips curved into a smile. I wasn't used to that movement. I was known for being grumpy and I did my best to live up to that expectation.
"Havel, finish your report," Xil commanded. "I'll read over it when you're done, but I think you're best placed to write it. Definitely mention the probing and if our female agrees, include a quote from her. Maybe have her rate the probing on a scale from one to ten."
"I'll be disappointed if she says anything lower than nine," Havel muttered. "Although, I did forget the cameras so..."
"Matar and I will make a list of seduction strategies," the captain interrupted. "Hopefully, we'll be done with that before she wakes up so that we can get started right away. I want her to be ready for mating as soon as possible."
His eyes flicked down to his crotch and I couldn't help but follow his gaze. He was hard, just like me. Havel was already walking out of the room so I couldn't see if he had an erection too, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he had. This female was messing with our bodies already and she hadn't even touched us.
With a sigh, I created a piece of virtual paper and began jotting down what I'd read during the Learn phase of the 4 Ls. I felt Xil watching me, but I didn't pay him any attention. I was intent on doing well with this seduction thing and hopefully be the first our female decided to mate with.
1. Opening doors for her (note to self: programme doors not to open automatically)
2. Give her a plant (note to self: research what colours she likes)
3. Sing to her while she's a floor above from you (does it work if she's in the same room?)
4. Write love letters (are comms acceptable or do we have to procure real paper?)
5. Sit next to her while someone else plays a string instrument (may be difficult to find a musician; research if recorded music or a live stream of a musician is acceptable)
6. Have food together and have a fire burning instead of normal lights
7. Give her lots of boxes full of tiny food pieces
8. Wear lacy undergarments
9. Write poetry (note to self: find a poetry generator)
10. Send yourself (not sure what is meant by this, more research needed)
11. Watch recordings of other couples
12. Smile a lot and swirl your moustache (should we get fake facial hair?)
13. Hold her hand as often as possible
Xil looked over my shoulder.
"That's a great list," he muttered. "You really did your research."
It made me feel surprisingly good to hear that from him. It wasn't that I didn't feel appreciated on this ship, but this was something unfamiliar and I had never expected to be good at it.
"I don't quite get the bit about lacy undergarments," Xil said thoughtfully. "What does lacy mean?"
"Fabric full of holes," I supplied, glad I'd looked that up a few days ago. "It should be easy to replicate."
"I don't wear undergarments. Do you think it's essential?"
"It came up again and again," I sighed. "I'm not happy about it either, but humans seem to see this as an essential seduction strategy. They call it lingerie, I believe. We could even cut up some of our uniform trousers. I don't think it matters as long as there are lots of holes."
"Enough holes for our dicks to be seen?"
"Exactly. I think it's supposed to be a teasing thing, where she can see our assets but would still have to undress us."
Xil licked his lips. "That does sound tempting, now that you say it like that. But that's probably for later, we should start with something where we're fully clothed. I wouldn't want to overwhelm her." He tapped on his comms, then looked at me triumphantly. "I've locked her door, so now she can't exit her room without one of us opening the door for her. That should be a great start to our seduction."
I nodded. "Great thinking. Let's put the door opening in first place. I suppose she might be hungry when she wakes up, so we can give her tiny food pieces next. For some reason, humans eat them out of a box rather than from a plate, but the fabricator should be able to replicate that. What next?"
"We'll have to wait until we arrive at the space station before we can get her a flower or a string instrument. I won't allow open fire on this ship so we can't do that until we're back on Kardar. We could write her letters though, maybe even now while she's asleep, and then she can read them when she wakes. I bet Havel could even come up with some poetry."
Xil raised his eyebrows. "Havel? Poetry? You're kidding."
"If not, we can probably find a way to generate some simple poetry. Or we'll look in a human book for something some human male has written in the past. I doubt she'll know every human book by heart, so she'll never notice. Especially if we use a really old book."
"Good idea. We can also do the singing from a floor below, but we have to plan that so that one of us is with her to see her reaction. Maybe two of us can sing so it's loud enough to penetrate the walls."
I rubbed my tail, a clear sign that I was getting nervous. "Why do you think we have to sing in another room? Do humans not
like it when they see someone else sing? Does it destroy the attraction?"
"You were the one who put it on the list, I'd never heard of it," Xil admitted. "I could sing a drinking song, or maybe a lullaby my mother-"
"Drinking song," I interrupted. We didn't want her to go to sleep. We wanted to mate with her and it was essential that she was awake during that. I wanted to hear her make those sweet sounds again, where she sounded like she was in a happy sort of pain. Pleasant distress.
"Havel can join you," I said. "I'll be with her since it was my idea."
Xil didn't look happy about it but then inclined his head. "Then I shall deal with the tiny food pieces. She's small, so I suppose they have to be even tinier than they'd be for us. Size of my fingernails, maybe?"
I nodded. "That or smaller. She really is tiny."
"What kind of food should I get? Maybe something from Kardar to introduce her to our cuisine?"
"Make a mixture of Kardarian and Peritan food," I suggested. "That way we'll see what she likes best."
I quickly sorted the list anew and added some notes for Havel, since he hadn't been here with us.
1. Opening doors for her (Havel, we've locked her door)
2. Give her lots of boxes full of tiny food pieces (Xil will do this)
3. Write love letters and poetry
4. Xil and Havel will sing drinking songs while Matar is with her a floor above
5. Wear lacy undergarments
6. Watch recordings of other couples
7. Hold hands whenever possible
In future:
8. Give her a plant (note to self: research what colours she likes)
9. Sit next to her while someone else plays a string instrument (may be difficult to find a musician; research if recorded music or a live stream of a musician is acceptable)
10. Have food together and have a fire burning instead of normal lights
I deleted the bit about facial hair and sending ourselves since I didn't know how that would contribute to seducing Trish. Maybe if all our other strategies didn't work, we could return to that.
"We can get Havel to find recordings of human couples," I suggested when I was done with the list. "I'm sure he came across some when he was researching human psychology and physiology."
"Yes, he showed me some," Xil said with a wide grin. "Humans can be very flexible when they want to be."
Trish
As soon as I woke, the memories of what happened made me sit up straight. I wasn't confused at all. I knew exactly what happened. It made me both queasy and breathless. A sexy kind of breathless, that is. I'd been probed by aliens. For real. And I'd enjoyed it. It was so amazing that I passed out in the end after the best orgasm of my life. I dimly remembered one of them carrying me into a sort of shower and washing me, but I had no recollection of him bringing me into this bedroom.
It was tiny, reminding me of a ship's cabin. I guessed that's what it was, now that I thought about it. The bed was attached to the wall and looked like it could be pulled up, creating more space. Metal shelves and cupboards graced the walls to create as much storage as possible. Instead of a window, a large screen hung opposite the door. It was blank though. No alien soaps for me to watch.
They'd dressed me in a simple dress that resembled a pale blue sack with holes for my head and arms. Not exactly the height of fashion, but I supposed I should be grateful I wasn't still naked. They'd even provided a pair of slippers made from something that reminded me of felt, yet it was softer beneath my feet.
My stomach growled, reminding me that it had been a while since my last meal. How long had I been on this ship? I knew neither how long I'd been unconscious when they'd abducted me nor how long I'd just slept. For all I knew, I could have been here for days. A shiver ran down my back at the thought. Would anyone miss me? Chadra would probably be the only one, mostly because I destroyed her scooter and couldn't pay for the damage. She might also miss having me for small jobs that she didn't want to do herself.
I got up. It was time to explore this spaceship, hopefully without stumbling upon one of the aliens. I needed some time to process what had happened.
Problem was, the door didn't have a knob or handle. I stepped close to it, hoping it might have a sensor that would open it automatically, but nothing happened. I pressed my hands against it and pushed, without success.
They'd locked me in like a prisoner. I supposed it was to be expected. They'd abducted and probed me. For some reason, they were intent on following every alien abduction stereotype imaginable, which I guessed included being locked into a room. At least this wasn't a cell. And I had clothes. I should be grateful for small mercies like that.
I banged my fists against the door and started shouting for them to open it. Just like I was supposed to behave, right? I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I hadn't just been abducted by aliens. I was part of some kind of academic assignment they were conducting and therefore had to be the perfect abduction victim. This was ridiculous.
"Let me out!" I yelled as loud as I could.
I looked around the room again, almost hoping to spot a camera that I could wave to. Or destroy. Both options sounded tempting.
"Aliens, come and unlock this door!"
Footsteps sounded in the distance. Someone was running towards me. Had they heard my calls or was this just a coincidence? Maybe their cameras were too hidden for me to see. It didn't make sense for there not to be any. I had been abducted; of course, they'd want to keep an eye on me and see if the probing had any aftereffects. I bet the blue medic, Havel, would be keen to document everything I did. It was almost endearing if I hadn't been kidnapped.
The door slid open, revealing a grinning Matar. The green, tailed alien seemed pleased at himself for some reason, even though I scowled at him.
"Why did you lock me up?" I snapped. It was probably a bad idea to snap at my captors, but I was hungry and to be honest, after the probing I didn't take them too seriously. I didn't think they were dangerous, but there was a high chance I was wrong. Perhaps this was my mind trying to protect me from the truth.
"So I could open the door for you," he replied as if that made any sense at all. "Are you pleased?"
"No. I'm not."
His face fell, disappointment distorting his alien features. It was strange how his expressions were so human, in a way, or at least similar enough for me to recognise his emotions.
"Do you not like doors being opened for you?" he asked, sounding a little unsure.
"I don't like locked doors," I shot back at him. "Am I your prisoner?"
He raised his eyebrows and I noticed how perfectly shaped they were. Just like everything about him. He was gorgeous from top to bottom, even his tail. Alright, maybe his tail wasn't gorgeous, but it was exotic and strangely attractive. It made me want to reach out and see if it would curl around my hand.
"You're not. You're going to be our mate."
He - or one of the others - had said that before. A joke, surely? I wasn't mate material. I wasn't their species, nor was I particularly beautiful. Only pretty girls got abducted, that was universally acknowledged. Or maybe clever ones, to work for them and tell them all of Earth's secret. I was neither.
"I'm not. I want you to return me to my home." I stood as straight as I could and looked him right in the eyes. It took all my willpower to do that. His gaze was intense, sucking me in. His eyes were as green as the rest of him, but small silver specks shimmered within his pupils, making them sparkle. They had to be the most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen.
I forced myself to look away. I didn't want to swoon over my abductor. This wasn't the time to develop Stockholm syndrome.
"That isn't possible," he said surprisingly gently. "We'd fail our assignment. But don't worry, we'll look after you. We've already made a list-"
He broke off and bit his lower lip as if he'd said more than he'd intended.
"A list?"
"Of things to make you happy,"
he admitted. "Opening doors is on there, but it seems you don't like that. I shall erase it immediately."
A white rectangle appeared in front of him, covered in small, neat writing. I tried to read it, but it was written in alien. Whatever language they spoke. The translator - I didn't call it the disgusting thing it really was - only worked for spoken words, it seemed. And I was fine with that. I didn't want a worm in my eyes, thank you very much.
Matar ran his fingers over the projection and the top line disappeared. On one hand, I was curious about what else lay in store, while on the other hand, I dreaded to find out. Being locked inside my room just so he could open a door for me wasn't a good start. What would be next, starving me so they could sate my hunger?
My stomach growled again. Matar jumped back, his tail erect, his eyes wild as he searched the corridor for a threat.
I rolled my eyes. "It's just my stomach. I'm hungry."
He frowned. "Your stomach speaks? Is that normal for humans?"
"It doesn't speak. It makes growly noises."
Matar shook his head. "No, it spoke. Loud and clear. It said 'electricity'. Or maybe 'power', those words are very similar in my language."
This time, it was me who stared at him in confusion. "I assure you, my stomach doesn't talk. It has no mind of its own. It was just a grumble."
The green male didn't look as if he believed me, but he let it drop. "Xil is preparing food for you right now. Come, I'll take you to our canteen. I shall show you the ship afterwards, especially the floor above."
"What's there?" I asked curiously as I started following him.
"You'll see," he hedged.
We ignored several locked doors along the brightly lit corridor, heading straight to a large, open-plan room that seemed to act as both kitchen and living area. Most tables and chairs were covered with...things. Empty plates. Random gadgets. Electronics I didn't recognise. Something that looked like a yellow bath duck but definitely wasn't one. These guys didn't like to tidy up, that much was clear. I'd give them a minus point for that. When you invited someone into your home, you cleaned it first or at least made it look less like a mancave.
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