Even though I don’t feel completely confident in the outfit it’s nice to know someone finds me attractive. I turn to walk towards my class when Megan and Audrey come around the corner.
“What’s this?” Megan says cutting me off.
“What’s what?” I ask even though I know she’s referring to the skirt.
“What you think you can dress like me and all the guys will fall all over you.” She teases.
What’s this girl’s problem? “That’s not what’s happening.” I return annoyed.
“You’ll never be like us no matter what you wear.” She continues.
“Whatever Megan.” I push past her and walk into the class.
Sitting down at my desk I watch as Megan and Audrey walk in behind me. Come lunchtime I’m ditching the skirt.
Before long lunch rolls around which means I can duck out of class. Exiting my class I duck into the nearest bathroom. Finding a clean stall, I slip inside. I’m digging into my back pack when I hear someone else come in.
Don’t tell me Megan followed me in here? If it’s a fight she’s after, then I’ll give her one.
“Lucy are you in here?” I hear the voice ask. It’s Britney.
“Yeah, what’s up Britney?” I call from the stall.
“Who’s clothes are you wearing?” Oh, great she heard I was wearing Octavia’s clothes.
“Why?”
“I just wanted to know.”
“Octavia let me borrow a skirt but I’m changing out of it.” I liked the way I looked in the outfit but I didn’t feel comfort in front of everyone else. I kept feeling people’s eyes on me but in a weird way.
Slipping on my black pair of flares I fold Octavia’s skirt and place it in my backpack. I reach for my boots and slipped them on as I emerged from the stall. Britney’s standing by the sinks just looking at me.
“Is that her sweat shirt too?” Britney questions.
“Yeah but I kind of like it.” I admit.
“It looks good on you.” Britney says surprising me.
“Thanks.” I smile. “What are you up to?” I ask looking at her. Better yet why are you being nice to me?
“Nothing. I saw you come in here and wanted to check in.” She shrugs.
“Okay…” It’s silent between us. “How’s Dad?” I ask looking at her through the mirror.
“He’s good I guess.”
“That’s good.” I guess. What I really want to know is if he asks about me?
“How’s thing’s at home?” She asks still looking at me through the mirror.
I want more than anything to reach out to her but I don’t know where to begin. “Alright I guess.” I return not looking directly at her.
“I’ll see ya around then?” She says turning to leave.
“See ya.” I return watching her leave through the mirror.
Why can’t she see I’m trying to reach out? Why can’t I just go to her for help? What’s holding me back? I’m looking at my reflection. You know why you can’t…It’s a matter of life and death. You know you can’t risk it.
I wait a moment before I leave. Walking down the hall I maneuver the door ways and get into the elevator. I haven’t seen Bobbie since English. I wonder if he’ll noticed I changed?
Making my way back down to the main floor I walk to the AR room. Bobbie’s already inside at the table where I usually sit. Guess that means he’s waiting for me. I walk in as he looks up at me.
“Hey what’s up?” I smile as I walk over to join him.
“Not much, what’s up with you?” He’s eyeing my outfit. “Weren’t you wearing something different this morning?” He’s turning a little red and so am I.
“Um yeah, let’s not talk about that.” I smile pulling the chair out across from him.
“Why?”
“Because it was a disaster.” I say sitting down in front of him.
“Really?”
“Yes really.” I’m too embarrassed to look at him.
I was beginning to fear what he’d say. On one hand, I wanted him to say I looked nice but on the other hand I wouldn’t be too offended if he said it wasn’t me. I guess either way I’d be heartbroken.
“I didn’t think you looked too bad.” He said barely looking at me. “You look nice either way.” He says turning red.
“Thank you.” I look over at him but he refuses to look up at me. “I won’t be wearing a skirt anytime soon though.” I dig in my backpack for our lunch.
“You don’t seem like the skirt wearing type anyway.” He smiles finally looking at me.
“You don’t think so?” I ask meeting his eyes.
“Your too cool for all that shit.” He returns.
“I am? Good to know.” I chuckle. “Enough about all that, what are your plans for the Christmas break?” I ask changing the subject.
“I’m not sure…. My dad will be back so I assume we’ll do a big Christmas dinner or something. What about you?” Bobbie asks looking over at me between bites of his sandwich.
“I don’t know… I guess my family will do something.” I offer. “You said your dad will be home, where’s he now?” I ask curiously.
“He’s a truck driver which means he’s on the road most of the time.” Bobbie offers.
“Really my real dad’s a truck driver too. Or at least he used to be.” I beam.
“That’s cool. What’s his handler name maybe we know him?” Bobbie says smiling.
“Um his name is Ronald Park but I don’t know his handler name.” I say. It’s embarrassing to admit I don’t know too many things about my dad.
“The name sounds a little familiar.” He returns.
“How weird would that be if our dads were like buddies or something?” I say. Maybe this is a sign.
“That would be crazy.” He smiles. “I’ll have to remember to ask my dad when I see him. I’ll let you know what I find out when we return from the holiday’s.” He continues meeting my eyes.
“Yeah and maybe if I see my dad I can ask him too.” I continue looking away.
“Your dad doesn’t live with you?” Bobbie asks.
“Um no…It’s kind of a long story.” I take another bite of my sandwich.
“Oh yeah?” Bobbie questions looking over at me.
“I’ve kind of only known my mom a couple of years now too so...”
“How come?” He asks softly.
“Um…I lived with an adoptive family until I was eight.” I say looking down at my hands.
“Really?”
“Yeah, I was really sick as a baby so my mom couldn’t take care of me and my other siblings so I went to live with another family for a while.” I shrug it off like it’s no big deal.
“So is Britney your real sister?”
“Yeah. I’m living with my bio-mom now.”
“So did your sister live with this other family too?” Bobbie questions.
“No. My mom kept Britney and my brother Ray. She was a single parent back then and couldn’t take care of me so....I went to live with someone else.”
“So why are you living with them now?” He asks softly.
I’ve been asking myself the same thing. “I don’t know. I guess it was just time.” I offer.
“Huh.”
“I know. It’s pretty messed up, right?” I look over at him.
“We all have our baggage.”
“Sounds like your speaking from experience.”
“Yeah I guess so….” He doesn’t continue.
“Do you have siblings?” I ask.
“I have a sister…who barely talks to me. My dad’s never home and when he is he’s so angry he yells practically the entire time he’s home.”
“I’m sorry…What about your mom?”
“I take care of her.” He says.
It was sad to hear him talk like that. “I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time. I can relate on the sister front at least.” I smile at him trying to lighten the mood. “Hey do you want my chips?”
I ask offering him the unopened bag.
“You won’t want them?” He asks.
I knew he needed them more. “Nah.”
“Yeah sure.” He says taking the bag. “Um I’ll check in with ya in a little bit I’m going to step out for a smoke.” He gets up from the table.
“How do you stand it out there it’s so cold?” I say over my shoulder.
“I’m kind of built for colder weather.” He gestures to his size.
He’s not that much heavier, he just looks solid like if someone was to try and knock him down they’d have to try a few times. He’d protect me if I asked him too, wouldn’t he? Maybe one day but for now I won’t geyt my hopes up.
“Oh come on.” I shrug it off. “Your just tough.” I smile.
“Sure, if that’s what we’re calling it.” He chuckles. “See ya in a bit.”
“Have at it.” I return.
I watch him walk away over my shoulder. I can’t help but smile a little. Just being around him made me happy. I can only imagine how happy I’ll be if we finally get together. I can’t believe our dad’s might already know each other. I’m caught daydreaming when Octavia walks into the room.
“What are you doing?” She asks looking at my outfit. “What happened to the skirt?” She questions.
“I didn’t feel comfortable in it.” I open my bag to pull out the folded skirt. “You can take it back. I’ll give you your shirt back after family studies.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know? Bobbie didn’t like it anyway.”
“He said that?”
“No but when I said the skirt wasn’t me he kind of agreed.”
“What’s wrong with him?” She asks.
“Nothing…” I say defensively. “He said I look nice like this.” I offer smiling.
“Really?” Octavia smiles.
“Yep and guess what?”
“What?”
“I think our dad’s might know each other.”
“You mean Max?”
“No my bio-dad. Bobbie’s dad is a trucker too.”
“Interesting.”
“Are you just teasing me?”
“No, it’s really interesting.” She smiles.
“Whatever.” I smile.
“Do we have to go to class?” Octavia whines.
“We’ll we could skip but then you’ll miss class with Sunny D.” I tease suddenly feeling happy.
“Get going.” She teases.
“We’ve got to wait for Bobbie.” I return.
“I’ll let you love birds go it alone.” She winks. “See you up there.” She walks away leaving me to wait for Bobbie.
Chapter Seven
The next couple of weeks fly by. Octavia and I are walking to geography class when we come across Bobbie. I can’t help but blush when we look at each other which makes him turn red too. Embarrassed he changes his direction. Where’s he going we have the same class?
“What gives with you two?” Octavia questions chuckling at the sight.
“I don’t know.” I watch him walk away.
“Why don’t you just ask him out already?”
“I can’t do that.” I turn to her.
“Why can’t you?” She says eyeing me.
“I don’t know because I can’t.” I shrug turning away from her.
“You’ve got to date at some point Lucy.” Octavia points out.
“I know…and I want to ask him out but where would we go?” I turn back towards her. “I don’t know how to date.” Not to mention I’m probably not aloud. I’m not allowed to do a lot of things. I’m surprised my mom even lets me go to Octavia’s.
“That can’t stop you Lucy.” Octavia pauses. “Maybe Sunny D and I can double date with you guys.” She offers.
“Wouldn’t that mean you guys would actually have to…I don’t know ask one another out?” I tease shoving her the way she shoves me.
“I’m working on it.” She laughs shoving me back playfully.
“So what’s holding you back?” I question coming back to her side.
“I don’t know. I was waiting for him to ask me but he’s just not getting the point I guess.” She rolls her eyes. “Why do guys have to be so difficult?” She whines.
“Isn’t that what I’ve been saying all along? Why should I make the first move? I’ve never asked someone out before…” I haven’t even had a first date.
“I see your point.” She wraps her arm around my shoulders. “We might just have to make the first move Lucy.” Octavia admits.
“Do you think Bobbie likes me like that though?” I question looking at her.
“He only turns red every time he looks at you. Not to mention you guys spend a lot of time together Lucy.” She winks.
“It’s not like that though.” I swipe at a loose strand of hair.
“What’s it like then?” We make it to class now.
“I don’t know. We talk like we’re just friends. Like about music and class.”
But was that all it was? When we’re together it feels like more…But I could just be over thinking things.
We make it to our seats. “Guess you’ll never know until you take the next step. Right?” She questions.
“It’s too soon for that I think.” I return. I’d get there when I’m ready.
****
Max has been away for the past two weeks which made me feel like I’d finally get some sleep but instead I’d jump awake in the middle of the night. I began having nightmares…I’d dream that he was out there doing unspeakable thing’s to The Bernstein’s or that he was hiding somewhere in my room ready to strip the sheets away the moment I let my guard down.
Tonight, as I’m laying here in bed trying to sleep, I can’t help but think about Bobbie…Ever since I learned that our dads are truckers I can’t help but think it’s a sign. We have our dads in common now.
I fall asleep picturing Bobbie and I going to a family BBQ with our dads. When my Dad meets Bobbie it’s like he immediately likes him. My dad says something like “it’s kind of cool my daughter would fall for a trucker’s son.” The dream was so vivid I almost forgot it was just a dream. I almost slipped and told Bobbie about it. Thankfully I caught myself before I embarrassed myself.
****
It’s the last day of classes before the Christmas break. With the Christmas holiday upon us I can’t help but fear Max will be making an appearance soon.
Hanging my head under the shower head I let the hot water wash over me. How I miss standing in the shower. I let the water pound down on me for ten minutes before I hear my brother pounding on the bathroom door.
“Alright.” I yell turning off the water. Throwing open the shower curtain I wrap my towel around myself then open the door. “I’m done okay.” I walk past him and he’s already in the bathroom before I get back to my room.
Back in my room I reach for my black flares and my knock off Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt. Getting dressed I move around the room collecting my things. Since it’s the first night of Christmas break I’ve made plans to stay at Octavia’s for the week.
The deal was I could stay at Octavia’s for the entire week but I’d have to come home for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to spend with the family... I just hope it’s a Max free Christmas.
A few minutes later I’ve gotten my wet hair tossed into a ponytail and my headphones dangling around my neck. Tossing a new tape into my backpack I turn out my bedroom light, and reach for my two back packs. I wasn’t about to chance coming home to grab my things only to have Max talk my mom out of my plans.
Closing the door behind me I descend the stairs. I can’t wait to get the day started. For the last little few weeks Octavia’s advice has been weighing on my mind. I’ve been thinking about asking Bobbie out myself. I’ve been in such a good mood lately that, I’m thinking I might just get the nerve up to do it today before we part for Christmas Break.
Stopping into the kitchen I quickly make Bobbie a sandwich while my
toast, toasts.
“What are you doing?” My mom asks looking over my shoulder.
She practically startles me. “Making my lunch for school.” I return peering over my shoulder at her.
“Didn’t you do that last night?” She returns opening the fridge.
Shit she noticed. “No I made that for a snack last night.” I lie.
Good thing I grabbed it before I started making this one. It was safely tucked inside my backpack.
“I could have sworn there was one in there a few minutes ago.” She questions.
“Nope.” I wrap up the fresh sandwich then butter my toast before existing the kitchen.
Setting my plate on the dining room table I grab my boots. Between bites of my breakfast I lace up my boots. “Don’t forget I’m going to Octavia’s after school and that I won’t be back until the morning of Christmas Eve.”
“Yeah fine.” My mom says. “We won’t be here anyways.” She returns.
“You’re going with the boys when they go to their dads?” I question defensively.
“What else do I have to do?” She returns cutting me the same attitude.
“Whatever.” I stand up straightening my pants over my boots. “He’s not going to be here for Christmas, right?” I’m clearly annoyed. “Britney’s coming home for Christmas Eve, isn’t she?” I question.
“That what she’s says.” My mom returns from her spot on the couch.
“Alright.” I bend down to pick up my backpacks. “See ya Christmas Eve.” I wave goodbye as I’m stepping out the front door.
The cold air takes a hold of my breath the moment I’m fully outside but I love it. The cool air makes me feel alive and I loved seeing my breath hang in the air. It was a noticeable sign that I was alive without having to put in effort to stay that way. Shaking myself from my thoughts I begin to walk.
“Hey Luc.” I hear Ray say from behind me.
I can’t help but smile. He’s the only one who uses Cliff’s nick name for me. “Yeah?” I turn back to him.
“You’re going to be at Octavia’s until Christmas Eve, right?” He asks concerned. He’s standing outside in the cold without a jacket so he’s holding himself shivering.
The Moment Everything Changed (Lucy's Life #1) Page 8
