by Kara Hart
“Alright, there’s a woman. Fine. I won’t say anything about that, except for the fact that she’s smart. She’s already outsmarted all of you fools,” he says.
This hits me. I don’t know why, but it does. It means that she’s up to something big. I’m just not sure what that big thing is yet. “Outsmarted us? How?” I ask him.
“I ain’t saying shit, man,” he smiles.
“What the fuck are you saying, Elroy?” I ask again. “How is she outsmarting us? Where did she go? What is she up to?”
“Fuck you.” He spits with full force at my face.
Of course, I fucking lose it. I dive across the table, in an attempt to choke him out. Adam has to come in and defend me, while also defending that criminal. It’s all fucking messy and at the end of it, the whole squadron rushes in to break up the fight.
The captain walks in, no sooner than two seconds after, and screams, “Marshall! You’re off the case. Get the hell out of this interrogation room and collect your things.”
“Sir, he attacked me,” I say. “He spit directly at me. You saw him.”
“Suspension. Three days. Get your things, Marshall. Did you fucking hear me?” he says, all in front of the criminal.
“Get your things, Marshall,” Elroy laughs.
I make one last struggle to get the guy, but it’s no use. They’ve got me held fucking down.
“Alright,” I say. “Let me go. I’m getting my shit and going home.”
The whole thing makes me sick.
47
Marshall
Ever since I met that woman, my life has gone to shit. It’s like she’s put a curse on me and is enjoying watching me fall. I’m hopeless, but this bottle of whiskey helps me deal with all of the bullshit that’s been flung in my direction. Fuck it all, I keep thinking.
And then my phone rings. I glance down and I see her name. “Virginia.” Vi. God dammit. I answer the phone and mutter, “What do you want?” I’m bitter. I’m an asshole and the world should hate me. I’m going to make them hate me.
“I’m just calling to check in on you,” she says. Her voice is soft and sweet. She sounds… nice.
“Why you doing that?” I ask. “I thought you hated me.”
“Marshall, I don’t hate you at all,” she says. “I just needed some space the other day.”
“Fine,” I groan.
“Anyway, I heard on the radio the other day that you got suspended,” she says. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble. “I guess we don’t have as much on the suspect as I thought.”
“Uh, didn’t you catch him in the act of fleeing? Isn’t that enough?” she asks. I smile. My girl.
“You’d think,” I laugh. “But turns out his family has some clout in this town. Wealthy. They most likely donated to the mayor’s campaign too. Anyway, he won’t take the deal. He won’t reveal anything about anyone. He’s lawyering up.”
“Do you need anything?” she asks.
Yeah. I need you. I need you to be here with me. I need to wrap my hands around that waist of yours and I need to kiss your sweet lips. I need to feel myself slip inside of you. I need to hear your heavy breathing as we move in oceanic rhythm. I need you now.
“Want to come over? I could use some company,” I say.
“I’ll be over in a half hour,” she says. “Stay put.” My Vi.
She arrives at my doorstep in less than fifteen minutes and, boy, am I drunk. I open the door and she looks at me for a good 15 seconds before saying anything. Then, she bursts out laughing. “Are you joking, Marshall?”
“Does it look like I’m joking?” I ask her, smiling a little. “Come on in, darling.”
“Oh God, I could smell the whiskey from a mile away,” she says, walking inside. “Well, if you’re going to open your door this drunk, at least offer me a glass.”
“No glasses here. Only bottles,” I say. “Tonight, we drink as if our sorrows depend upon it.”
“But it’s just 4pm,” she smiles.
“It’ll be night soon enough, my dear.” I grab the bottle and hand it to her. We both mechanically make our way to the couch and I sprawl myself out. To my surprise and delight, she lays across my lap and wraps her arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I know you’re going through a lot.”
“Eh, it’s fine,” I say. “I know I can be a little hard to handle sometimes. I’m kind of a prick.”
“You’re learning,” she laughs.
“The thing I don’t understand is what he said to me,” I tell her. “He told us the woman involved has already begun manipulating us. I just don’t get it.”
“He said that?” her eyes widen. “I wonder what he meant by that.”
“I can’t get it out of my damn head,” I say. “It’s driving me crazy.”
“Well, try and calm down. Here, let me help you,” she says. She runs her hands across my shoulders and squeezes gently. “You’re working too damn hard, Marshall. You need to take breaks every now and then.”
She’s right. I am working too hard. I always have overworked myself and now it’s starting to wear on me. This job is too much with too little pay. What’s going to happen if I take those bandits down anyway? Nothing. Nothing at all. Will I get a bonus? Fuck no. Maybe a promotion. Maybe. I’ve done better in my years and they barely gave me a thank you. No, in this business they give you a standing ovation and a pat on the back. Then they tell you to get back out there and keep at it. It’s all fine and dandy until you realize you’re older with nothing to show for it.
I exhale all my problems and close my eyes. She runs her hands across my abs and I start to relax. Still, I can’t get what’s been bugging me out of my mind. I just can’t wrap my head around things. “Who is this woman?” I ask her as if she has all the answers. Of course, she has no idea. She’s more clueless on this thing than I am. “What is she up to?”
Her hands get tense. “I wish I could help you,” she kisses my cheek and holds her lips there, breathing lightly. I feel my cock start to rise. I need her. Fuck, I need her.
“You can help me,” I say.
“How?” she asks, even if she already knows the answer. “What can I do for you?”
“Help me open up,” I say, opening my eyes again. “I want to feel close to you again.”
She climbs over me slowly until her ass is directly over me. She’s wearing a short silky dress and the view I have is perfect. Suddenly, I forget all of my troubles. They all wash the hell away. “There’s my girl,” I kiss her thigh and run my hand up her dress.
She gives a hushed moan and bites her lip. She grabs my cock lightly and I feel her saliva fall across the tip. “Fuck,” I whisper. “I’ve missed your touch.”
“Yeah, baby? Did you miss this?” she asks, swirling her tongue around the base like it’s a lollipop.
“Yes, ma’am.” My eyes widen and my breath quickens. I kiss the curve of her thigh. I keep kissing until I can’t hold back any longer. When I feel her mouth open around my shaft, I suck on the edges of her lips. I lick up, meeting her clit, and I feel as she starts to let go.
“You’re all I need,” I whisper, pushing myself deeper inside her. I feel the back of her throat grow wetter as she holds it open. “My dirty, filthy woman.”
“I like it when you call me that,” she whispers, pushing her body off of mine. She walks over to my wall and puts two hands firmly across the center. “Now, show this dirty girl how you fuck.”
I quickly take the rest of my clothing. It only takes one small movement on her part to be fully naked in front of me. She’s a goddess. Thick, beautiful, with enough curves to leave me satisfied. I reach out and grab a fistful of her ass. My cock won’t stop growing. She reaches behind her and takes it in her hand.
“My God,” she says, excited and surprised.
“Miss it?” I ask her.
“I dream about this dick, Marshall,” she says. She knows exactly what I want
to hear.
She puts the tip against her lips. I wrap my leather belt around her waist and close it in tight. I hold the end of the belt and push myself in deep. “Ohhhh shit,” she moans. Her cheek hits the wall and she gulps in a giant breath of satisfied air. I pull back on the belt and manage to push in deeper.
I feel the wall of her pussy close in around me. I’m soon enclosed by the purest feeling known to man. People go to war over this shit. People die over pussy like this. Somehow, I have her. Somehow, she’s mine. The craziest part about this is that I might not be able to let her go. I might need to make her mine forever.
I pull out and press my cheek against hers. I whisper, “Beg for it. Beg for this cock.”
“Please, Marshall,” she pleads. “Give me that cock. You know how much I need it.”
I keep a firm hold around the belt and tighten it further. “You’re not going anywhere until I cum. Got it?” She nods immediately. I slide myself back in and notice that she’s much wetter than before. In fact, she’s fucking dripping all over me. I reach down and move two wet fingers over her clit. I begin to pound her, holding on to the belt with my free hand.
“Yes!” she screams. “Harder!”
I love a girl who can take the heat. A man like me needs a wild woman and Virginia is the definition of wild. I keep holding on tight and, as I fuck her harder, I feel her push her ass back in time with each of my thrusts. I can barely hold back. She’s going to make me fucking cum.
I immediately pull out and let go of the belt. “Get on the bed,” I say, motioning behind me.
She falls flat on her back. “Now, play with yourself,” I tell her, stroking my cock. “I want to watch you.”
I spit on her pussy and watch as she slides two fingers inside, spreading her lips apart. I’m obsessed with her body. I’m perverted to the core because of her, and I don’t give a damn. I lust after her, but more than that, I’m obsessed with her. She’s all I can think about at the station. Even when I’m interrogating Elroy, I can’t get my mind off her. I don’t care if this all somehow ends in flames. I know that I needed to meet this woman because she’s already changed who I am. Now, my life is profoundly different.
“I’m cumming,” she whispers. “Marshall, fuck me. I’m cumming.” She begins to shake. She looks at me right in the eyes and my heart breaks into a million fucking pieces. God damn, she’s beautiful, more beautiful than I’ve ever noticed before. In this vulnerable state, I just want to give her everything, as odd as that sounds.
So I do. I give her all that I’ve got. I slide my body over hers and wrap my arms around her back. I kiss every curve on her collarbone and mount her like there’s no tomorrow. I thrust forward and already feel myself letting go.
“I love you,” I say. I don’t plan to say it. It just comes out on its own. The way her skin is glistening against the light of my bedroom, and the way her eyes widen with passion, it just confirms it for me. I might in fact love this woman and maybe it’s time I admit it to myself. “Fuck.”
I lose it. Everything starts to vibrate inside of me and suddenly, the pleasure intensifies. I can’t get away from it. I start to cum and she pulls me in close. “I love you too, Marshall,” she whispers. Everything starts to look so clear. And when we’re both away from the orgasm, everything starts to make more sense.
Our lips crash together and we roll across the bed, laughing together. “What’re we doing?” she asks.
“We’re living,” I say. “Finally, I’m living.”
48
Virginia
I can’t believe myself. I said it. I said the three doomed words. Ugh. Then again, it’s not that hard to believe I did another stupid thing, digging the knife in deeper. The question keeps lingering in the back of my mind: do I love him? I mean, really, do I?
I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before. At least, not how it should be. The last time I said that was back in high school. I told my boyfriend that I loved him, but really, I just wanted someone to be there for me. For once, I wanted someone to protect me.
He did protect me, actually. He was always there for me. But emotions always quickly reveal themselves and we drifted apart not too long after. Now, I’m an adult and you’d think that I would have learned from all my experiences. The thing they don’t tell you about is that you’re always learning, always trying to figure out how to make the right move.
Do you ever fuck up? Constantly. That’s just life. But they don’t tell you that when you’re younger. They make it seem like you’ll have figured everything out by the age of 30. I guess I still have some time to go on that front, right?
The truth is, I’m happy with Marshall. The harsh side of that is knowing it won’t last. If he doesn’t bring me down, I’ll have to drift away, this time on a boat to the other side of the big blue sea. I’ll take on a new name, learn a new language, start my own business, and I’ll never see him again.
I’ve thought it all out. When I’m in my 40’s, I can write to him again. I can tell him who I really was and why I couldn’t let him into my life. I wonder if he’d understand? Now that he’s in love with me, would he stay by my side if he knew who I really was? What does it take for someone to truly understand something like this?
“Don’t go into work today,” I tell him. “Let’s just have the day together. We can get breakfast and coffee. Oh! We could ride your motorcycle to a movie theater and see something. I haven’t seen a movie in so long.”
He smiles and runs his hands in my hair. He’s got this look in his eyes, as if he’s been doing drugs or something. “God, you’re gorgeous,” he says, with a sly smile. “Just so fucking beautiful.”
“Come on, Marshall!” My heart is full. It feels good to be looked at like this. He actually likes me. He’s not just using me for something. “Let’s do something, dammit!”
“Anything you want, babe,” he says. “I’m suspended, remember? Today’s my vacation from the department.”
“So you’re going to take me to a movie? And breakfast? We’re going to have a day together? A real day together?” I ask him, biting my lip with excitement. He grabs my waist and tickles me, and I scream loud, laughing. “Stop! Stop!” I yell, falling against him.
He stops and we’re both laughing. Soon, he’s holding me tight, like he never is going to let go. We both feel so free now that we’ve told each other how we feel. It’s like we’ve both had all this emotion pent up for decades and we’ve finally been allowed to let it all go.
“Yes,” he says. “Breakfast. Coffee. A movie. Anything. You name it, honestly. I just feel blessed I get to be next to you right now,” he says. “I’m really not worthy.”
“Trust me,” I say, glancing down at the mattress. “I’m the one who’s not worthy.”
I gulp down and he can see that I’m a little sad. He kisses the top of my head and breathes in. “Why do you keep saying stuff like that?” he finally asks. “You haven’t done anything to warrant that kind of outlook.”
“I don’t know,” I lie. “I guess I just feel that way sometimes, like I’m not good enough, you know?”
“I understand,” he says, but he really doesn’t. He has no idea. He’s made some pretty good choices, overall. All of my life choices have been utter shit.
“Shit, who am I kidding,” he chuckles. “I don’t understand at all. You’re the most beautiful, complex, and eye-opening human being I’ve ever met. Usually people as great as you get down a lot. It’s like part of being a genius I guess.”
“A genius?” I stare at him. A small smile is forcing its way across my face. Dammit, he’s making me feel good again, like he always does. “I think you got the wrong girl, partner.”
“Nah, you’re a genius, alright. You can see them from a mile away,” he says. “I’m just lucky to be dumb enough to bump into you at a bar.”
“I think you’re a genius too,” I say. “How else are you so good at catching criminals?”
He starts laughing. I feel his
fingers trail across my body until they stop, enclosing around mine. “I’m the equivalent of a fisherman. That’s all, really,” he says. “I wait. I throw some bait out in the water. And I hope to God that I get a nibble. Anyone could do it. You just have to be able to handle getting shot every now and then.”
“You’ve gotten shot?” I say with surprise.
“Ha, yeah. Nothing special,” he says, beginning to stand up. “Take a close look at my ass and my thigh.”
“Oh my God,” I can’t help but laugh. I look at his butt and there it is, a big old scar on his right cheek. There’s one a bit lower as well. “You got shot in the ass?!”
“An unlucky shot,” he says.
“Or lucky. At least it wasn’t in the gut,” I say.
“Yeah, but then I’d have something to brag about at least,” he winks. “Nah, I’m pretty lucky. You’re right.”
“Well, even if you’re not Einstein, you’re still my hero,” I blush.
I quickly kiss his cheek and smile. I’m feeling so many things for this man that it’s starting to scare me now. I just want to dive into it. For once, I don’t want to have to think. So, for now, I won’t allow myself to. I’ll just go with it. And if it all explodes, taking me down, so be it. That’s the life I’ve chosen.
“Man, I loved it,” he says, still eating from the popcorn bag. “I just can’t believe that ending.”
“You were crying, Marshall. I saw it,” I laugh. “Don’t try to deny it.”
“I didn’t cry,” he blushes. “I got butter in my damn eye. I swear.”
“You cried! There were tears rolling down those cheeks,” I say. I have my arms around him as we walk. The smell of his cologne is so tantalizing. It smells like, well, love. Everything I imagined love to be, anyway. Movies, cologne, popcorn, the feeling of excitement that resonates from the pit of my stomach. It all feels so perfect right now. Like, maybe I wouldn’t have to go to Europe to start a new life. Maybe I could start a new life right here, with him.
