by Sara Martin
My number one priority during the holidays was to spend as much time as possible with Lana. I wanted to keep her spirits up.
“You’re looking much better today,” I said on my third visit.
“Really?” Lana asked, incredulous.
“Absolutely. I’m sure you’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
Lana bit her lip. I could tell she was holding something back.
“What’s up?” I asked, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
Lana exhaled and went to her bedside drawers. She opened the top drawer and removed an envelope.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a letter from the Carrington Medical Society. I applied for a scholarship with them earlier this year. I had a phone interview a couple weeks ago.”
“So, that’s your acceptance letter?”
“Or rejection. I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“I’m too nervous.”
“Pass it here, then.”
Lana hesitated but then passed it to me. She squeezed her eyes tight shut as I ran my finger under the seal. I carefully removed the letter, which was printed on heavy stock, and unfolded it.
Lana cracked open one eye and then swiftly shut it again. “What does it say?”
I cleared my throat and began. “Dear, Lana Wu. Congratulations.”
Before I could continue, Lana burst into a cheer. We flung ourselves down on the bed. We lay on our backs, and I held up the letter and continued to read it. Lana’s eyes followed as I read.
“We are pleased to provisionally award you the 2010 scholarship for Academic excellence.”
“Provisionally?”
“I’m sure that’s standard.” I scanned the letter. “Here, you need to be accepted into a medical science degree, starting next year, and pass NCEA level three with excellence. Otherwise, the next eligible person on the wait list will be awarded the scholarship.”
“That’s it?”
“Yup. That shouldn’t be a problem for you.”
“I hope not. As long as I recover in time to give the final exams my all.”
“I know you will.”
Lana stretched out. “I’m so happy!”
“What does the scholarship cover?”
“Course fees for the first three years of my study.”
“Wow, that’s fantastic!”
“Yeah. There will still be a lot of other expenses. Living costs, course materials…”
“But there are still other scholarships you might be able to get?”
Lana nodded. “None as big as this, but they would definitely help.”
“I’m so happy for you!” I rolled over and gave her a hug. As I pulled away, I couldn’t help feeling Lana had everything much more sorted out than me. I tried not to let my feelings show.
“I wish we could go out to celebrate, but I’m still not supposed to leave the house,” Lana said.
“We can celebrate once you’re well enough.”
“You better not forget.”
“I won’t. Are your parents at work? You should let them know. They’ll be thrilled.”
“You’re right. Give me a moment. I’ll call them.”
I followed Lana to the living room and waited on the couch while she phoned her parents—her mother first and then her father—to relay the good news.
“Mum’s going to make my favourite dumplings tonight,” Lana said, dropping onto the couch beside me after her phone calls. “Today is a good day.”
“Everything seems to be working out.”
Lana nodded.
“I hope everything works out for me too,” I murmured, not intending to sound envious.
“There couldn’t be anyone more deserving than you,” Lana said, and she sounded sincere. “Is everything going okay with Julian?”
“We’ve been texting pretty regularly now.”
“Have you seen him again?”
“Not since we met up at the park. Now that he has turned in his portfolio, he has taken on more work at the bookstore. So, he’s been busy with that. He’s also still devoting a lot of his time to Charlotte since she’s back in town.”
“So, he has been seeing Charlotte a lot?”
I nodded. “He told me they’re just friends, but…”
“Perhaps he’s just a nice guy, looking out for his friend?”
“Yeah, perhaps. Or maybe he still has feelings for her.”
“I hope that’s not the case.”
“Me too.”
I brushed it from my mind, changing the subject. “Mock exam results come out next week.”
Lana nodded.
“I think I did okay,” I mused.
“Since I missed the exams, my results will probably be based on my work during the year. I hope I don’t get judged too harshly.”
“You’ll definitely get excellence.”
“I hope so.”
I left Lana’s house late in the afternoon and checked my phone as I walked home. Alarm set in when I saw three missed calls from Julian and an unopened text message. I read the message.
I have some news. Call me.
26
I stopped in my tracks and called Julian right away. My level of anxiety increased with each ring.
“Hi,” he answered at last. His steady voice didn’t give anything away.
“Sorry I missed your calls. What’s up?”
He paused for effect before saying, “I’ve been accepted into Alberto Barsetti’s atelier.”
The first thought to enter my head was the fact he would be leaving. I refused to let my voice betray my disappointment. “That’s fantastic. When do you leave?”
“In two months.”
“That soon?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Congratulations. That’s amazing. I’m happy for you, really. I knew you would get in.”
“Thanks. Priscilla’s going to throw me a party. A celebration of me getting into the atelier. Would you like to come? I mean…” he cleared his throat. “I’d like you to be there.”
“Of course I’ll come.”
“Lana can come too if she’s up to it. It’s at Priscilla’s house, next Friday. I’ll let you know the address.”
“Great, see you then.”
After hearing Lana’s and Julian’s good news, I felt drained. I should have been feeling on top of the world, yet I selfishly felt like I was getting left behind in the dust.
My alarm clock buzzed me awake for the first time in two weeks. I groaned but managed to force myself from my warm bed.
When I arrived at school, I was surprised to see Lana standing beneath the tree at the school gates. She looked calm and composed. Her face was fresh, her hair straight, and her uniform clean and pressed.
I ran up to her. “You’re back!”
“The doctor gave me the all clear. I can go back to my normal life as long as I take it easy. No extra-curricular activities or work for me. Just school then home time.”
“I think that’s good. Now, you can just focus on school.”
“Yeah. I need to make sure I secure that scholarship.” Determination gleamed in her eyes.
I felt like I didn’t have to worry about her anymore. She was going to be just fine. Instead, I turned my concerns to mock exam results. English was first up. Anticipation bubbled inside me. Lana sat beside me, all cool and relaxed, seeing as she pretty much knew she was guaranteed excellence.
Fortunately, Mr. Donaldson didn’t muck around. He handed back our papers at the beginning of class. I flicked straight to the back page of each essay booklet in quick succession. Excellence. Excellence. Excellence. I felt very pleased with myself.
“You did it!” Lana said.
“I did, didn’t I?” For the first time in a while I felt as though something had gone my way.
The rest of my exam results trickled in over the next couple of days. My grades were more mixed but were mostly Merit. One step
up from just passing, but not quite at the top level. Not bad, but not great. Not academic scholarship quality results. That’s for sure.
After school on Wednesday, Lana and I met up at a small, local bar to celebrate her scholarship. Mrs. Wu let her have an exception to the no going out rule. We were the only people at the bar since it was still early in the evening. We sipped cocktails before digging into a wood-fired pizza.
“Thanks for your support through all this,” Lana said. “I’m not sure I could have recovered so quickly without you.”
I shrugged. “What are friends for? You would have done the same for me.”
Lana smiled.
“Do you think you could wrangle another night out?” I asked.
“What for?”
“I forgot to tell you. Priscilla is hosting a party for Julian since he was accepted to the atelier.”
“Hmmm… I think parties are probably out of bounds for me right now. You should definitely still go, though!”
“I will. I couldn’t possibly miss this.”
“How long until Julian leaves?”
“Two months.”
“And you still don’t know how he feels?”
I shook my head.
“You should tell him you like him.”
“Huh?”
“I mean, what have you got to lose? Even if he rejects you, he’ll be gone soon anyway. And, if you don’t ask, you might never know if he felt the same way about you.”
The very thought of confessing my feelings to Julian made my face grow hot and break out in a sweat. Lana had a point, though. A very good point indeed.
“You could be right,” I uttered at last.
“I am right.”
“You usually are.”
“Then it’s agreed? You’ll tell Julian how you feel about him.”
If I agreed to this, I would be locked into doing it, and I wasn’t sure if I were ready. Then again, perhaps this was the kick in the butt I needed. I had been tiptoeing around the situation for a long time without taking any action. I weighed the pros and cons in my mind. The pros easily outweighed the cons, yet it was still difficult to agree to it.
Lana must have picked up on my mental turmoil. “Come on, Ivy. I don’t want you to miss your chance. You’ve got this. I know you do.”
It was the final push I needed. “All right.”
“You’ll do it?”
I nodded. “At the party. On Friday.”
Lana broke out into the widest grin I had ever seen. She flung her arms around me. “You won’t regret this. I promise.”
“I’ll let you know how it goes.”
“Give me the full run down as soon as you get home on Friday night. Not a single detail missed.”
27
I drove up to the large, ramshackle villa and parked on the side of the street. The night was surprisingly calm and quiet, considering there was meant to be a party going on. Then again, I couldn’t envisage Priscilla being one to hold loud, raucous parties.
Through the windows I could see the lights were on, but I couldn’t detect any movement. I climbed the front steps and gently tapped on the door. No one came, so I turned the handle without meeting resistance. The door opened into a hallway. The house was exactly as I had imagined—teeming with art and artefacts.
Paintings covered the walls, and bookcases housed volume after volume. A dusty chandelier hung from the ceiling. I followed the gentle murmur of voices through a large Victorian-styled living room. A pair of French doors opened out onto a spacious backyard where a small gathering sat around a large table. Tea lights flickered in the gentle breeze, and soft piano music flowed from a stereo.
I approached the group. I recognised a few faces from the exhibition. Others I didn’t know, but they looked around Julian’s age.
Some of his old friends, perhaps? My eyes went to Julian, sitting at the head of the table. Next to him was Charlotte, looking effortlessly beautiful with her large green eyes, porcelain skin and strawberry-blonde hair in a messy braid. On the other side of Julian was a young man I didn’t recognise. I silently pulled out a chair and sat down. Julian caught my eye and gave me a slight smile of acknowledgement. I wondered how I was possibly going to get a moment alone with him tonight. Not to mention the sight of him there next to Charlotte was almost enough to put me off entirely.
A selection of elegant finger foods was spread on the table—various cold cuts, cheeses and sauces. I speared a meatball with a toothpick.
“Hey, I’m Aaron. How do you know Julian?” the young man seated next to me asked.
I finished my mouthful. “I’ve done a little modelling for him here and there. Are you a friend of his?”
The man nodded. “That’s right. Known each other since the beginning of high school.”
“So, you two are close?”
“Well, we were very close at school. It’s hard to keep things the same when you’re living in two different places. I’m going to university in Auckland. I only come home once a year. We catch up then, but it’s not really enough.”
“That’s tough.”
“What do you do? Are you a student?”
I nodded. “I’m still in high school.”
“Oh? I thought you were older? What’s Julian doing fraternising with a girl your age?” He laughed.
“I’m eighteen. Exams are just around the corner. I won’t be a high school student much longer.”
“You’re right. You’re only three years younger, then. That’s not so bad.”
I wondered exactly what he was implying. I felt someone approach me from behind. My eyes flashed to Julian’s chair, which was empty.
“I see you’ve met my friend Aaron,” Julian said, appearing beside me.
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, I should have introduced you to everyone. I suppose there isn’t really anyone here you know.”
“It’s okay. I could see you were stuck in the middle of a conversation.”
“Can I get you something? A glass of wine?”
“I’d better not. I’m driving.”
“Lemonade? Orange juice?”
“Oh, a lemonade would be great. Thanks.”
Julian poured me a glass. He returned to his seat when Priscilla swept outside and commanded everyone’s attention. A deep hush fell over everyone.
“As we all know, we are gathered here today to celebrate Julian’s acceptance into the atelier of Alberto Barsetti. Ever since he discovered Barsetti’s art in the National Gallery, Julian has pursued the opportunity to study under him. Two months from now, Julian leaves for Florence to do just that.”
Everyone gave a round of applause.
“Julian, it has been an honour to have you work from my premises and to watch your art progress. I wish you the best of luck for the future.” She handed Julian a gift wrapped in gold paper and ribbons.
A look of surprise crossed his face as he accepted the gift. His smile made me feel all emotional.
Julian opened the present. Inside was a gorgeous large-format hardcover book. The Art of Florence was inscribed on the cover. He had a quick flip through the thick volume.
“Thank you, Priscilla. It’s lovely.” He kissed her on the cheek.
The lively chatter recommenced, and Priscilla fetched more food from the kitchen.
People began to get up from their seats and mingle more. I tried to make my way over to Julian, but he was already inundated with people trying to talk to him. I sat back down and nursed my drink at the table.
“Ivy Beckett?” a gruff voice asked from behind me.
I turned to see a blonde-haired man with striking blue eyes and grey stubble.
“Every bit as lovely as Julian’s drawings,” he extended his hand. “Woody Anderson.”
“Oh, you’re Julian’s art teacher.” I shook his hand.
“Former art teacher. Julian will soon be under the tutelage of Alberto Barsetti.” Woody sat down beside me. “That young man has a bright future ahe
ad of him.”
“You think so?”
Woody nodded. “Under Barsetti’s guidance, he’s sure to find success.”
“I’m happy for him.”
“Me too. A little envious too. If only I’d had such an opportunity at his age. Still, it couldn’t have been an easy task to get accepted.”
“He worked hard.”
“You helped too. An artist needs a muse.”
“Muse?” I laughed.
“I’m serious. You inspired him a lot. I can see why.”
I blushed, embarrassed.
“We artists are greatly attracted to beauty.”
“Beauty is subjective.”
“You’re right,” Woody conceded. “Despite our different art styles, it seems Julian and I have similar taste.”
I scoffed. “I wouldn’t know about Julian’s taste.”
Woody raised an eyebrow. “Really? I thought it was pretty clear from the feelings expressed in his work.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe I should leave you to ask him.”
I looked across to Julian. Less people surrounded him now. Even Charlotte was no longer clinging to his side. Perhaps this was my chance.
“It’s been a pleasure to meet you, Ivy.”
“You too.”
Woody left me. Nerves undulated in my stomach, and I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Before I had any time to mentally prepare, Julian headed towards me.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“What were you talking about with Woody?”
“You, actually.”
He looked at me quizzically. “Really? I hope you only had good things to say.”
“Well…”
“What is it?”
“Sorry, can we continue this later? I need to use the bathroom.” It was no use, I had to go. I slipped away before he could protest.
In the house, I stumbled down a dark hall and managed to locate the bathroom. While I relieved myself, I tried to rehearse in my head what I would say to Julian. Next time, I wouldn’t be caught off-guard. I went to wash my hands in the adjacent room. Through the partially open door I saw the light was on. I covertly pushed it open a smidgen more.
Charlotte, stood in front of the mirror, reapplying lip gloss. It struck me more than ever just how beautiful she was.
