by K A Sands
Shaun
Pulling on our shoes, Ayden ushered me out the back door and down through the garden. It had just gone noon and the sun had made a show, the air warm, the need for coats forgotten. Trees were bursting with green and the flowers dotted throughout the expanse of the garden were bright, giving off a subtle scent that I found pleasant. I took in great gulps as I walked, not often having the chance to breathe in clean air. Of course, Ayden noticed.
“What are you doing?” he laughed.
“It smells good.” I wiggled my fingers in front of my nose. “Such a difference from the city.”
We continued walking down a well-worn path alongside one another and I couldn’t help but steal glances at him. He was smiling, the weight of the last twenty-four hours nowhere to be seen, which was good I thought. Maybe we could put the whole Stella thing behind us after all and move on. It was my biggest hurdle with him as it stood and now it was out in the open, I felt renewed in a way and thankful the secret would never lay between us. Warm fingers wrapped around my own and I clasped hold in greediness, such a simple gesture had my heart beating faster, his hand in mine, so goddamned right.
I stopped walking and tugged him closer into my chest, moving in to peck him lightly on the lips. A playful nip. Moving back, I watched as he grinned at me.
“I’m really sorry, Ayden.” I said again, I didn’t have enough apologies in me, but I couldn’t help but say the words as my shame ran deep. He reached up to swipe hair from my forehead.
“I know you are.” He looked around and then back to me. “I can’t really be angry, you know. Maybe we just forget about it?” He tilted his head and smiled at me. It felt too easy. “There’s something here, don’t you think?” He lifted our joined hands up in between our bodies.
Letting out a breath before kissing him again, I agreed. “Yeah, I think so,” I paused, “no.... I know so.” He chuckled and shucked me under my chin when I lowered my head to make my next admission. “You got me all tied up in knots.”
He gave a short nod before pulling us forward. “Come on,” he said, walking through the trees.
We trekked for another fifteen minutes or so before the trees started thinning out. With the sun high in the sky, shafts of sunlight radiated through the branches as we took our time wandering, not saying much of anything. The silence was comfortable, agreeable, and I enjoyed it. It wasn’t something I’d done before, especially not hand in hand with a man. My life was always on the go, never really stopping to take in my surroundings. I was doing that now, with Ayden and yeah, I liked it, a helluva lot.
The trees opened onto a small clifftop which was clearly walked upon frequently judging by the smoothed-out trail that wound its way down the cliff side. It looked like an easy enough hike and in the distance, I could make out a pier and a dock, some buildings lined along both, with boats anchored to the posts further up. It was quaint, quiet and exactly what I needed.
“We going down?” I pointed in the direction of the anchored boats.
“Yeah. Wanna show you the restaurant.”
Smiling, I gripped his hand tighter. “Let’s go then.” We carried on walking, a sultry wind whipped at us from below and wrapped around our bodies as we made our descent.
“My dad told me,” Ayden said, “about you going to Ryder.”
“Yeah, well...” I shrugged, “...I had to go to someone. I’m in way over my head. I can’t get us both out safe without some help.”
“Why him?”
I didn’t know if I should tell him the whole story, but I’d promised myself I wouldn’t hold anything back if he asked. “I’d been at the club one night and he’d thought I was trying to shift drugs in there. I wasn’t, but he didn’t like it anyway.” I decided to leave out exactly which night it was, the information irrelevant.
“He wouldn’t have liked it one bit. Hell, the amount of times him and dad have railed me about taking drugs tells me it’s a serious loathing for both.”
“You’ve never taken drugs? Not even a joint?” Ayden stopped short, tugging me to a halt.
“No, never,” he snorted, “my body’s a temple, don’t you know?”
Playfully reaching out, I skimmed my palm over his tight stomach muscles. “Do I ever.” Ayden sneaked a kiss in while I continued to marvel his body, he wasn’t ridiculously built but his definition was unmistakeable. When he drew back, I confessed about my friend.
“You remember Boomer? The guy I bought with me to your Loft that time?” He nodded, probably remembering how hostile he had been. “He’s an addict, reluctant to admit it out loud though.”
His hand tightened in mine as he sucked in a breath. “You’re close?”
“He’s my best friend.”
“Then I’d like to meet him. When I can.”
“You will. Yeah, he’s an addict but he’s a good bloke. Lost, I think.”
Ayden looked thoughtful as he tugged me down the trail, closer to the bottom of the cliff. “He won’t get help?”
“It’s coming. Ryder is helping. Gave me a number, said he had a rehab centre lined up for him and I was to get him there by Friday. It gets him out of the way too.”
“And you can manage that? He’ll go if you ask him?”
“I hope so. I mean, he knows what he needs to do but money is always an issue, you know. If he don’t go, he’s gonna be dead sooner rather than later. So, he’s going whether he likes it or not, even if I have to drag him by the balls.”
“You do that, get him there. If it’s a struggle, call my uncle. He’s a persuasive fucker when he wants to be.”
I laughed loud at his comment. “Ah, yeah. He sure is.”
“What happened at the club?”
Scratching at my head, I continued to recant the story of Ryder shoving me into a storeroom. I left out the fact he’d had a gun at my head, thinking Ayden wouldn’t appreciate imagining that picture. Truthfully, my ego was bruised at being bested by someone. It hadn’t happened often in my past.
“I sensed something between him and Charlie, my boss. A hatred, personal, so I chanced my luck, went back, laid it all out and asked for help.”
“Because of Sophie?” he asked.
“Initially, yes. Then you became a factor.” Winking at him, aiming to lessen the weight of the mood the conversation was throwing over us. And it was true anyway, I wasn’t going to lie about it. “Listen, Charlie is gonna come at me hard. I don’t need anyone in my life getting caught in the crosshairs. When I leave today, I don’t know when I’ll be able to get back to you.”
He pulled us to a halt, so I presumed he got what I was saying. Turning to face him he unlinked his hand from mine and cradled my face firmly. “I get it, Shaun.”
Leaning in he kissed me gently, a contradiction to how big and rough he looked. My arms crept around his waist tugging him closer as I opened my mouth and let him in. The kiss was lazy, no hurried strokes or desperate nips, just a pouring of emotion that became overwhelming in no time at all. And I read every last thing he was trying to tell me. He pulled away, a little breathless but smiling. His beautiful face lit up and I felt the air shift around us.
“Let’s go.” I could have stayed on that trail forever if it meant I could stay there with him.
The path we’d walked ended abruptly and we found ourselves standing on the wooden pier, the little shops looking appealing, lined up all picturesque and village like.
“That’s the restaurant.” Ayden pointed to the corner building with its wrap around walkway and vast expanse of windows. It was an inviting kind of place, I imagined it would be tranquil and a special experience to eat there once the sun had gone down. “Come on, Warren should be in. The door’s propped. I didn’t have breakfast, maybe if I grovel enough he might take pity on me.”
“You’re the boss’s son, I should hope he does.”
Both laughing, we sauntered into the restaurant which was airy and cool, a welcome relief from the heat outside that seemed to climb as the day went
on. Ayden shoved me toward a stool at the long bar saying he’d be back with the chef.
When he returned, I swivelled around on the stool and was caught off guard by the familiar face. I knew him, and it was clear he recognised me too when his eyes widened, something Ayden missed. He held out his hand to shake in greeting.
“Hey,” Warren said as I took the proffered welcome, shaking as required, not alluding to knowing him. He was a frequent flyer at Monty’s, probably not something he wanted airing in public. After all, it was a titty bar with some questionable rooms through the back, of which I’m sure I’d seen him disappear into a time or two. “How you doing, man?”
“Good, good.” I nodded as I let go of his hand.
“Can you whip us up something real quick, or something from the fridge?” an oblivious Ayden asked, the awkward encounter between myself and the chef not registering.
“Sure, man. There’s a couple of pizza leftovers from last night. The staff have already had their share, took what they wanted.”
He didn’t look at me again, didn’t hang around, which suited me fine. Ayden had barely said thank you before he was disappearing through the double doors at the back of the restaurant.
“He must be busy,” Ayden mumbled.
The pizza didn’t take long at all and a few minutes later we were both wolfing down the best fucking stuffed crust margherita I’d ever tasted. Oh, Warren was good all right.
“You’ll look after Sophie until I’m done?” I asked between bites.
“Yeah. Jake and I will make sure she’s good. Laura will mother her most likely too.”
His word was enough for me, I trusted him with my sister implicitly. Jake was still an unknown I’d need to remedy sometime soon. For Sophie’s sake, I needed to try, he wasn’t likely to disappear from her life any time soon. “What’s he like?”
“Who? Jake?”
“Yes.”
Ayden dropped the pizza crust he was chewing on to the plate and wiped the marinara sauce from his lips, smearing red across the crisp, white napkin he’d half crawled over the bar for.
“He’s a good guy, a real good guy. Trying to do right by Sophie.”
“I didn’t want this for her.”
“No. I don’t think she did either. But it’s not the end of the world, Shaun.” He twisted in his stool, so he was facing me.
“Jake’s your ex?”
He squirmed, I didn’t miss his fingers tightening around the napkin. “Ex? Not really.”
“But you and him fucked about, had sex?”
Another squirm, another twist of the material. My question made him uncomfortable and I didn’t know why. I waited for him to answer, not out of jealousy more curiosity.
Eventually he admitted to screwing around with his best friend. “Jake has no limits, not with me anyway. He’s different with girls. Gentler, kinder. But with me...not so much. I could fuck him any which way I wanted, and he liked it. Never met anyone else who was comfortable with the things I wanted to try. I could tie a belt around his neck and choke him while nailing him, and he’d beg for more. He didn’t hesitate to do the same back. It’s hard to say no to that, no matter who it is.”
My eyes almost popped out of my head at his candid talk over his rough sexual proclivities.
Kinky. Fucker.
“And you’re into that?” I asked. His face flushed red and I laughed. “It’s okay if you are. Everyone has kinks. It doesn’t scare me if that’s what you think.”
“Yeah, I’m into that. Not all the time but...” he trailed off, looking down at the discarded pizza. “What’s your kink, Shaun? Everyone has one, even if it is buried.”
I leaned in closer to him, my mouth grazing his ear. “I like it fucking dirty. The dirtier the better.” The look he gave seared me from the inside out and my dick plumped fast in my jeans. “Fuck...” I barely managed as I pulled away, wondering if I had the time to sneak him off somewhere and practice a bit of that kink.
The untimely chiming of my phone brought the mood plummeting down to earth.
Time was up. Sink or swim.
Shaun
As well as running drugs, I extorted protection with the barrel of my gun. And that deuce made Charlie a lot of money. The very protection I offered was from my own gang. Whilst the glint of silver ensured my palm was greased heavily, my pockets were always light. I paid my own protection too – for Sophie. And her price was high.
I didn’t have a single kill to my name, had never had to take it so far, but I had plenty blood on my hands. I remembered not so long ago these hands of mine used to be thirsty for blood, now - not so much. Even before Sophie had fallen pregnant, and I’d met Ayden, something had shifted in me, had me thinking differently and seeing the error of my ways. I was nowhere near taming the beast, but I could feel change fast approaching. With a semi-plan in my head, I had to make it work. In the mean time I played ball, going on like I was the same person I had always been. I had to be my family name. I had to be a Jessop. Just like my brother, just like my old man.
It was Wednesday. I’d been three days without Ayden and severed all contact with both him and Sophie, Ryder stating it was for the best. And it was hard going. I’d been concentrating on Boomer to take my mind off the place I’d rather have been. I’d discussed the rehab option - which wasn’t really a choice - and Boomer pounced on the idea, finally recognising he couldn’t go clean himself. His use wasn’t heavy, but he was still an addict, couldn’t go a day without shoving coke up his nose. The plan was to do Charlie’s dirty work with his money pick up tonight, then Boomer was getting a last hoorah before I carted him off to salvation the next morning. One day earlier than Ryder had said. I was proud I’d managed to coax my friend into going with relative ease.
However, the run later was a worry. The place tonight was tricky, a club that had some fierce bouncers and a gnarly owner. Still, he knew the consequences of missed payments and how the gang could quite easily close him down in the blink of an eye. He paid his dues, or at least he normally did. This week he hadn’t, or last for that matter so now it was time for the visit. I really didn’t feel up to it and wasn’t all that confident in the guys the Boss had sent with me either. I had Boomer but the other three I didn’t like so much.
Shorty was his usual arrogant fucking self, pumped up on drugs and looking for trouble. The two other boys seemed to have taken a liking to the way he acted, their ego’s far bigger than they should have been. Shorty was the kind of guy who was too eager to shoot first and ask questions later. Always made for a messy evening, one that could usually have been avoided.
When we pulled up outside the club later, I could feel the unease seeping off Boomer, in turn it made me edgy and I didn’t like it. Maybe he was distrusting the same as me, but something was off. The three goons piled out the back of the car, slamming doors as they did, and I watched them swagger with their ‘all that’ attitude to the front doors of the club where they waited for us.
My friend made no attempt to exit the car. “I got your back, Gripp,” he said, looking at my clenched knuckles strangling the steering wheel.
“Yeah? You feel it too, mate?” He nodded his head. “I got yours too, bud. Game on.”
We left the car and walked into the club without so much as a peep from the bouncers. With backs straight, and hard faces, we looked like we goddamned owned the place; in this life, appearances were everything. I put on the usual show, so nobody could tell the way my stomach was churning. Scanning the club, its dimmed lights not giving away too many faces in the shadows. But I clocked Ryder straight off at the back of the bar, sitting with Martin, and I shot my head down low. The unease felt real now. Had I not been looped in on part of the plan? They’d known I would be here to collect for Charlie but there was no need for either to be present. I didn’t understand it.
“Shit,” I mumbled to myself, I didn’t need this tonight. “Gimme a sec, Boomer, yeah? I just wanna text Sophie, then we’ll do this.” The lie tripped
easily from my tongue as I fished out my phone from my pocket and shot Ryder an aggravated text.
Me: What’s going on?
Ryder: Just having a drink, checking out the competition. Nothing to worry about.
Breathing a little easier at his immediate reply, I shoved my phone away then nodded my head towards the back hallway where the offices were. They’d know we were here by now. I chanced another look in Ryder’s direction, but I was met with vacant space.
Heading into the office, I kept Boomer by my side and the other three at my back even though that didn’t fill me with too much confidence, it spoke of the rank however. Two heavy set bouncers stood either side of the owner’s desk and as the door closed behind us I took note of two more bouncers claiming a spot inside the room. Okay...it all felt like a huge fucking set up.
“Hey, Russell,” I edged toward the desk, pointing to the chair, “Mind if I sit?” I was always the epitome of politeness, that way they never saw me coming when it turned ugly. And it often did.
“Sure man, sure.” Speaking confidently, he gestured to the chair. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure, Gripp?”
Now, here’s the thing about Russell Convey; he was genuinely a nice guy. Really nice guy. Didn’t make any fuss about payments when we leaned on him for the protection money. ‘All business’ he’d say with a smile when we negotiated. He didn’t have a mark on him I could use; the guy was as clean as a whistle, no family or kids, no dirty secrets. He seemed straight up legit and I never enjoyed coming here with threats on my tongue. I hadn’t really had the need to do it before, so I wasn’t comfortable doing it now. But he was a big fella, looked like he could bench press his two lackeys beside him and not break a sweat. I didn’t want to be putting a six-foot four boxer to the ground unless I absolutely had to.
“You know why.”
There’s a reason I’m the Boss’s muscle and it runs far deeper than me fucking his daughter and favours. I get the job done in the cleanest way possible, I collect. But for once I didn’t want to, especially not with Russell, hated putting the man in this position.
