My sexual thirst overflowed. My bodily hunger snarled. And the pain in my cock became unbearable. “Stop.” I swallowed. “Please, you have to stop.”
Instantly, she tore her hands off me. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
If I could blush, I would have. The unmentionable housekeeping of looking after someone in a coma wasn’t exactly bedroom talk with the girl I wanted to pounce on and claim. “Eh, I’m guessing I have...a catheter in?”
Her cheeks pinked. “You do.”
I forced a chuckle, proud that I could achieve yet another skill. “I’m hard.”
“Oh, God. I shouldn’t have touched you. I’m so sorry.”
“Woman, shut it.” I turned my head, thankful that I could do that even while cursing the lack of so many other things. “Kiss me.”
“What?” Her eyebrows shot into her hairline. “There is no way I’m kissing you. You literally just said you’re in pain.”
“Kiss me.” I couldn’t stop looking at her mouth, despite the pain in my cock, regardless that I’d woken with tangled priorities of wanting sex over the ability to walk.
“You just woke up after being dead for six weeks.”
“All the more reason to kiss me.”
“I’m not kissing—”
“I’m already hard, Eleanor. The discomfort is already there. Kiss me...let me say a proper hello to you, and then you can fetch the doctor and put me out of my misery, okay?”
She paused. “I’ll fetch the doctor now. She can remove the catheter and—”
“I need to kiss you.” I sent every command through my limbs to sit up and grab her. I managed a few hand twitches and leg shuffles, but that was it. “Kiss me, goddammit.”
“But—”
“I won’t ask again, Jinx.” I glowered. “Come here.”
She shivered, and her nipples pebbled beneath my shirt. The material gaped as she leaned over me, giving me a glimpse down her cleavage to the weight and femininity of her chest.
Ah, fuck.
More pain shot down my cock.
This wasn’t the smartest idea. I would suffer the moment her lips pressed on mine, but I would trade a million fires and a thousand drownings just to kiss her.
Kiss her after I thought I’d lost her.
Kiss her every hour of every day to make up for lost time.
“Sully, this probably isn’t wise.” She hovered over me, her soft breath minty and warm on my lips. Had she kissed me while I’d been under? Had I been able to taste her like I’d tasted icy berries, or had I slipped too far?
How did she know how to wake me? What possessed her to go against practitioner’s orders and attempt to nurse me back with sensation?
She truly was a goddess who owned me life and soul.
“I don’t care.” I strained to sit up, willing my head to come off the pillow but only causing my heart rate to spike. “Stop teasing and kiss me.”
“I’m not teasing. I’m deliberating.”
“Kiss me.” I focused on her stunning silver stare. I licked my lips, craving her. My balls tightened and another shot of pain ran hotly through my cock. “Kiss me, then get the doctor.”
“What if—”
“I’m not asking, Jinx.”
Her elbows buckled, and her mouth pressed hard against mine.
She moaned.
I groaned.
Pika and Skittles took wing.
Their feathers fluttered around our heads as I opened for her and my tongue slipped into her mouth. I hunted her, wanting to lick her, dance with her. I couldn’t move any other part of my godforsaken body, but I could kiss her and remind her that our chemistry still blazed bright, that our bond and link had only manifested into something unbreakable.
When her tongue met mine, I sank into the wet eroticism of our kiss.
She deepened it, pressing my head against the pillow and brushing our noses together as we feasted and suffocated, switching from sweet hello to savage desire.
This lust was different, though.
It didn’t just hold the singular urge to mate and join. It wasn’t elixir desperate or selfish need for a release.
This had a different sharpness. A pain that spoke of separation and risk of never finishing our love story. It was still salted with goodbye.
Never.
I would never say goodbye again.
I bit her bottom lip, easing another moan from her chest.
She kissed me deeper, making me harder, ensuring pain became difficult to ignore.
A flicker of being locked in Ace’s cage and at Drake’s mercy came and went. Eleanor had found her way back to me, despite me sending her away for her safety, and I’d found my way back to her, despite the blackness of my end.
I’d promised her something when I’d lain broken and bleeding in that cage.
“If we survive this, Eleanor Grace...I’m going to fucking marry you.”
“Is that a proposal?”
“It’s a vow.”
I smiled against her lips. “So, you dreamed that you married me, huh?”
She winced. “You died the moment I said I do.”
“I won’t do that next time.”
Pulling away, her lips glistened and her eyes searched mine. “What are you saying?”
I longed to push aside the hair cascading over her shoulder, to hook it behind her delicate ears, to cup my fingers around her nape and bring her mouth back to mine.
Instead, all I could do was fetter her with words. “I have a new vow to give you, Eleanor.” My heart rate picked up, exhilarating and exhausting. “The day I can walk on my own, I’m marrying you. You will say yes because there is no other option for us. You will promise to honour me, cherish me, and accept everything that I am, because I refuse to let you go.”
The room swam, black spots appeared on my vision.
I clung to awareness, forcing words through fumbling lips. “You brought me back from death, Jinx. You fought for me, and you own me in every fucking way. I know I don’t deserve you, and that I’ve done unforgivable things—things that you’ve wiped clean for me. I adore you in every fucking way a man should love his woman, but I’m warning you, if you don’t marry me, then the contract between us will be reinstated.”
I grew lightheaded and sick. The beeping of my racing heart on the monitor grated on my temper. “You will remain shere as my prisoner because if you shink you can put yourself in danger for me. That you can shtand by my side even while I hurt you, drug you, and die on you...well, you don’t shknow me well at all.”
Her finger pressed against my lips. “Hush, Sully, you’re slurring. You’re tired. I’m going to get Louise—”
I bit her finger.
I sucked it into my mouth.
I convulsed with the pain of needing her and the pain in my cock from being so hard.
I needed her to agree. To say yes, she would be my wife because I couldn’t survive with any other alternative. I couldn’t fade again and not know she belonged to me body, heart, and soul.
But I never heard her answer.
I’d reached my limit.
My eyes rolled back.
I couldn’t hold on to consciousness anymore.
I slipped.
But this time, I didn’t slip into darkness.
I slipped into dreams where I was free to touch her, kiss her, fuck her, and get on one knee to make her my wife.
Chapter Thirty-Six
NO! NOT AGAIN!
I flew to my feet.
Dread galloped through my bloodstream. Panic that he’d fallen into a coma all over again ran rampant in my mind.
Doctor.
He needs a damn doctor.
Now!
Spinning around, I bolted toward the front door. If I was lucky, I could sprint to my old villa on the beach and grab Louise. If she was fit enough, we could run and be back here in fifteen/twenty minutes?
Too long!
God, why did I send them away?
Pika an
d Skittles took off, flying in front of me just as I reached the front door.
I ripped it open.
And smashed into Louise who ran in the opposite direction. Our bodies collided, our hands swooping upward to push against shoulders and boobs in our attempt not to fall on our asses.
Tripping backward, she grabbed my arms for support, her skin flushed with sweat, her legs covered in sand from running. She wore a simple purple dress that I recognised from the wardrobe that was fully stocked for a goddess.
Louise blurted, “Has he died—?”
“You’re here—”
“Is he dead?”
“I was coming to get you—”
“What happened?” She pushed past me just as her two colleagues, Joe and Steph, appeared in the flickering tiki torches, running down the sandy pathway. She didn’t wait for them, barging through the living room and into Sully’s bedroom.
“Tell me what happened.” Marching to his bedside, she grabbed his wrist and checked his pulse, all while glaring at the heart monitor. “I had an alert on my offsite unit. His pulse turned haywire. Did he have another attack like last time?” She assessed his vitals all while I jogged to her side and tried to control my worried breathing.
“You had a way to track him?” I couldn’t take my eyes off Sully’s unnatural stillness.
Don’t you dare die on me now, Sullivan Sinclair. Not after asking me to marry your ass!
“Yes.” She nodded impatiently, still looking at Sully’s pale face and dark beard. “The heart monitor sends data to my phone via an app.” She reset something on the controls, saying, “I came as fast as I could. I’m sorry if you had to deal with anything stressful while I wasn’t here, but you need to tell me what happened so I know how to treat him.”
“He...he woke up.”
“He what?” She spun to face me, Sully’s wrist still in her hand. “Was he coherent? Aware of his surroundings?”
I nodded stupidly. “Coherent and aware.”
She beamed. “That’s fabulous.”
I had two emotions rioting through me.
Sublime joy and utter despair.
Tears I couldn’t control slicked down my cheeks. “He woke up.” I wrapped my arms around myself. “But he crashed only a few minutes later.”
“What was he doing when he passed out?”
I blushed and looked away. “Eh, we kissed and—”
“You kissed?” She threw me a livid glance. “Dammit, Eleanor, you two have got to stop indulging in physical pleasure when his life is on the line.” She rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath. “Sex before a heart attack and now a kiss straight after a coma. Jesus.”
I trembled, fighting the highly inappropriate urge to laugh.
She hadn’t meant her scolding to be funny, and there was nothing amusing about this if Sully had woken, used up the last of his strength, and died for good, but for some reason, my panic had turned into a jittery jester determined to make me insane.
I’m mad.
I’ve officially gone crazy.
If Louise wasn’t here, I could’ve fooled myself into thinking this had all been the strangest dream.
Swallowing hard, I forced away morbid humour and shivery stress, sitting heavily on the bed. “Please tell me he’s going to be okay.”
“Louise, what do you need?” Joe, one of her Geneva team who’d been couch surfing for weeks, bowled through the villa followed by Steph who was young but smart.
“I can help too,” Steph said. “Need an injection of epinephrine?”
Louise didn’t reply, her entire focus on Sully. “Mr. Sinclair, can you hear me?”
Nothing.
The monitor revealed a healthy rhythm but no sign he’d heard her.
My entire body felt like jelly. Quivering, terrified jelly. “Come on, Sully. Please.” I clasped my hands, fighting the urge to touch him while three doctors hovered with urgency.
With her lips thin and mouth bracketed with strain, Louise did what I’d done when I’d woken to Pika’s chaos and made eye contact with Sully. I’d pinched myself to try to snap out of a hallucination I wanted more than anything to be real. She pinched Sully to see if he was still with us or once again unreachable.
She pinched him so hard, she almost punctured the skin of his forearm.
The slightest blip on the heart monitor hinted his system felt that but was either too exhausted from previous conversation or too stubborn to wake.
I stayed silent while Joe passed her a small torch and she peeled open his eyelids, shining the light into Sully’s bright blue pupils. She stared forever. She made all my doubt crest with new pain.
“Diagnosis?” Joe asked, his blond hair in disarray from springing from bed and racing through a moonlit island.
Louise didn’t reply as she palpitated Sully’s joints, ran her hands over the areas of healing bone and ribcage, and checked his temperature with a thermometer in his ear. Finally, she muttered, “He’s stable. He’s reacting to pain and light stimulus. That means his brain is functioning at a higher level, and he’s successfully waking from his non-responsiveness.”
My heart cracked like a delicate piece of china, shattering with hope. “So...even though he’s under again, he’s still with us?”
She nodded, swiping her auburn hair back into a ponytail. “There are stages to waking up. Some patients cycle through these for a while. Sometimes they’re agitated and confused as they relearn motor skills and accept the overwhelming input from their senses. He might need to be restrained if he has difficulty with memory and behaviour. However, if he held a conversation with you, that means there is no speech or intellectual impairment, and he might already be in stage four.”
“Is that good?”
“Stage four is classified for higher level responses. Talking, doing familiar tasks without too much difficulty. However, he might not be aware of his limitations and push himself too fast. He might also suffer personality changes which—”
“He sounded and acted like himself.” I itched with the need to touch him, but I kept my hands braced together between my thighs.
“That’s a good sign. At least his repeated attempts at cardiac failure haven’t caused long term damage.” She smiled and relaxed a little. The other two doctors headed back to the living room, the sounds of coffee being made floated back. “Did he mention how he felt? Any mention of pain or stiffness?”
I smiled. “You’re going to scold me again.”
She crossed her arms. “Go on.”
“I gave him a massage. His joints are seized and muscles unbearably knotted. My eh...my touch gave him an erection.”
“Of course it did.” She rolled her eyes. “And...”
“He complained about discomfort with the catheter.”
“That shouldn’t make a difference. They’re designed to work in a flaccid and erect penis.”
My cheeks threatened to pink, even though I was fully capable of holding a professional conversation with a doctor who’d seen everything and touched everything that I had on Sully’s body. Standing, I asked, “Is it possible to remove it? Now he’s aware of his body again, he’ll be able to do what’s needed on his own.”
“Was he able to move at all?”
“He moved his head a little. And managed a quick twitch of his legs and arms, but that was about it.”
“In that case, the catheter should stay in. He’s lost a lot of strength. It will take time to sit and move, let alone walk to a bathroom.”
I glanced down at Sully and the unbearable urge to touch him rose again. This time, I couldn’t ignore it. Sitting in the same spot where I’d been when he’d demanded I kissed him, I nestled between his waistline and hip and rested my palm against his naked wire and node stickered chest.
The moment I touched him, I felt calmer.
My fingers tingled. Heat gathered in my palm. The flow of our chemical connection returned, and I bit my lip to stop fresh tears. The heart monitor threw in a skip and
patter, revealing Sully felt it too.
I choked on a thick sob.
A healing, hopeful sob that spoke of futures instead of goodbyes.
Louise squeezed my shoulder gently. “I’ll go grab a cup of coffee and give you two a minute.”
I didn’t acknowledge her as she left. I couldn’t look away from Sully’s perfect lips and the peace on his face instead of tormented vacancy. If this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up. Then again, the thought of ever going back to sleep again, just in case this miracle popped, made me dig my fingers into Sully’s chest with possession.
Pika and Skittles flew in from the open deck slider, swirling in the rafters, squeaking in their own language. It seemed they weren’t ready to go back to bed either.
Smiling through my grateful tears, I looked up, tracking them as they soared so effortlessly, wishing I had wings to join them. I had excess energy bubbling inside me. The despondent depression I’d been in was lifting. The urge to do nothing had been replaced with the incessant need to do everything.
To jump and dance and dive into Nirvana. To swim naked in the rapidly lightening dawn.
I closed my eyes and sent a prayer of thanks.
Not to a god or goddess or any other deity.
Just thanks and indebtedness for being able to keep the man I loved for a little longer.
“You know...you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen.”
“Sully.” I gasped and looked down, focusing on vibrant blue eyes that sparkled with affection and something less innocent. Something that made my breath catch and belly liquefy.
He moved his head on the pillow, the action making sweat bead on his temples as he looked at where I touched him, directly over his heart. “I felt you.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you. If you need to rest, go back to sleep.”
He scoffed. “If I never sleep again, I’ll be happy.”
I laughed under my breath. “I was just thinking something similar. I don’t know if I can sleep again because I’ll be too afraid that you won’t be here when I wake.”
His eyes locked onto mine, dancing deeper, diving right into my soul and revealing just how much he wanted me. “Fuck, I missed you, Eleanor.” He swallowed hard, gritting his teeth as his left arm twitched beside him. He let out a frustrated breath. “I want to touch you so bad.”
Fifth a Fury (Goddess Isles, #5) Page 26
