“Oh, wonderful, this again,” Mr. Redburn said, tossing his coat into one portal, then opening another to pull out a glass of what looked like whiskey.
“The Society is actually a branch of government, and they didn’t approve of Dr. Beck’s experiments,” I explained to Sebastian, coming closer to him. I gave him the answers I had needed to hear in order to trust them. Why Dr. Beck was able to hide his research, why they sent Mr. Hale to watch over them, and why Mr. Hale ran away himself.
“Do you believe them?” Sebastian asked, his face close to mine. He looked so tired. I ached to smooth a hand over his jaw, to try to soothe away some of his pain.
I nodded. “Mr. Kent and I questioned them extensively.”
“And you can really take my power away?” he asked Captain Goode.
“Temporarily, at first,” Captain Goode replied. “But with time and practice, you should be able to control it on your own.”
Sebastian’s eyes glowed so bright I couldn’t breathe for a moment, watching the way hope transformed his face. “And what is it you want from me?”
“Just help,” Captain Goode answered. “There’s a purpose to all our powers. Help us help the world.”
“My powers aren’t exactly suited to that purpose.”
“Miss Chen destroys things by looking at them,” Captain Goode countered, gesturing at her appreciatively. “Yet she provides us valuable protection.”
“Until the day I accidentally stare at the sun for too long,” Miss Chen added, shrugging.
Sebastian looked at me one more time and I gave him a nod, smiling involuntarily, trying to tamp down the joy at having him here, having him find some kind of peace.
“Very well,” he finally said, and took a deep breath. “If you really think you can remove my power.”
“I already have. When you first arrived,” Captain Goode said.
Sebastian’s eyes widened. He looked at his hands and then to me for confirmation. I grabbed his hand, searching for the sensation that I had begun to think belonged to us. But now there was nothing. Nothing but his warm, bumpy palm beneath mine, thicker with calluses after his strange journey.
He was cured.
Sebastian looked utterly stunned. He squeezed my hand before letting go and I couldn’t tell if he was about to burst out into laughter or tears. He nodded firmly, his jaw tight, and offered his hand to Captain Goode. Without hesitation, Captain Goode shook it.
“Thank you,” Sebastian managed, his voice a beautiful rasp.
“Does this mean we are done?” Mr. Redburn groaned. “Can I leave now?”
“Oh, for God’s sake, give the man his life-changing moment,” Mr. Kent snapped at Mr. Redburn. “No one here actually believes you have anything important to do.”
“You society types think you’re the only ones with important business. I’ve plenty,” Mr. Redburn argued.
“Do you really?”
“No,” Mr. Redburn said with a growl.
A portal opened up next to him, through which he was about to throw a punch at Mr. Kent. But Captain Goode seized Mr. Redburn’s shoulder. The portal closed, his powers turned off.
“Felix, you do have important business,” Captain Goode said, vexation in his tone. “The morning orders should have come in. It’s time to deliver them.”
Mr. Redburn looked very much like a stubborn child as he stormed out. “Fine.”
“My apologies,” Captain Goode said, scratching his head in embarrassment. “Mr. Braddock, I’m sure you’d like some time to settle back in. Please return on the morning of the eighteenth and I’ll remove the power again.” I could swear I saw the smallest hesitation before he smiled. “I’ll be sure to give you the tour of the building then.” He gave a bow and left quickly. Something in his abrupt departure made me nervous, but I couldn’t say why.
Quiet fell over the hall. Miss Chen’s eyes were darting around and I began to realize it was her way of not breaking down all the objects near us.
“Hmm, I don’t like this. I’m usually the one to ruin those nice moments,” Mr. Kent said.
Miss Chen coughed and slid forward. “Welcome, Mr. Braddock.”
“Thank you, Miss Chen.”
She shook his hand briskly and Sebastian stared at the clasped hands warily. But she did not wheeze or grow faint. Instead her eyes darted between all of us and a smirk emerged. “Enjoy this little … situation between the three of you,” she said with a wave of her hand.
Before we could ask what that meant, she turned on her heel and left the room.
That left us an awkward little trio standing in silence. “Well, this is … strange.” Mr. Kent seemed to think saying it all out loud would ease the tension, but it did not. “I don’t know what Mr. Braddock should do next,” he continued. “Walk into the street and touch everyone, I suppose.”
The air grew thicker.
Sebastian grimaced slightly. “Ev—”
“Well—”
We spoke as one and I could feel Mr. Kent rolling his eyes at that.
“Mr. Braddock. We must take you to see Mae first. She has been waiting to see you for months,” I said firmly.
“I … I should, indeed, see Mae. If I am to stay, that is.” Sebastian would not meet my eyes, though I felt Mr. Kent’s intent gaze.
“Of course you should stay,” I said, letting anger come to the forefront of my confused emotions. “Unless you have urgent matters to attend to in that Italian barn?” Because, really, why on earth had he left?
He shook his head. “No.”
“What were you even doing there?”
“Nothing.”
“Were you on your way somewhere?”
“No.”
“When were you planning on returning?”
He didn’t even bother with a vague answer. Fine.
“Mr. Kent, will you please ask Mr. Braddock when he was planning on returning?”
Both men looked at me, one with horror and one with delight.
“Why, Miss Wyndham, I wasn’t sure you had it in you. Mr. Braddock, when were you planning on returning to London?”
He had to shout the question because Mr. Braddock was, of course, running away again. He made it to the door with his hands over his ears to block out Mr. Kent’s power, but it wasn’t far enough.
“Never,” he said before he could wrench open the door. His steps slowed and I saw his shoulders set. I didn’t have to force myself to anger this time. Never? He was going to leave his poor fiancée wondering about him forever?
He swallowed miserably and threw a dark glance in Mr. Kent’s direction. “My power was too dangerous. And I … I did not think it a good idea to be back here.” As uneasy as he was to be honest around Mr. Kent, I thought I knew what he was really wanting to say. I did not think you would want me here. For that would be a very foolish, very Sebastian way to think.
“Mr. Braddock, none of us blame you for what happened,” I said, though perhaps it would have been more convincing if I weren’t shouting furiously.
“Well, to be fair, I blame him a little,” Mr. Kent said.
“Not helpful,” I growled.
“I mean, you can’t deny he—”
“Kent!” Mr. Redburn’s voice echoed across the foyer.
Mr. Kent sighed. “What?”
“New request. You’re needed in Parliament.”
“Very well, I will stop there on the way home.”
“Oh, but this is very important business because you are an important man,” Mr. Redburn said with a sneer from the top of the stairs. “You must go now.”
“Not a good time. I can’t just leave when there’re matters to discuss and tender looks between—ah!”
A portal opened up below Mr. Kent and he fell through to somewhere outside the Palace of Westminster. Mr. Redburn tipped his hat to us and disappeared through his own portal, whistling a pleasant tune to himself.
“I … don’t think I want to ask him for a portal,” I said. “It’s a short
walk to Mae’s anyway.”
Sebastian nodded and opened the front door. Together, we stepped out into the frigid air. At least the drizzle was gone, and the sun was straining through the sky filled with thick, fast-moving clouds. The streets were half empty, only the earliest of workers out. Gleaming carriages winked as they caught the rare sunbeams.
We began wending our way slowly down the streets. I could smell the hay and earth next to me; feel him, uncomfortable and brimming with things he wanted to say. It was a silent quarter mile before he chose to speak words I never thought he would say.
“Mr. Kent is right, you know,” Sebastian said quietly, with a misery that sounded as though it had lived in him for all the months he had been gone. “There is a list of at least a hundred things I could have done differently and saved her.”
“And I have my own list of things I could have done,” I said, trying to bite back the rush of anger. “If I am mad at you, it is only because you ran away and disappeared with no word or warning to anyone. You could have stayed to help. You could have simply informed us you weren’t dead.”
The words barely hit the air as we turned down an unpopulated lane, but I knew he heard me as he sucked in a sharp breath. He hid no emotions from me now, eyes unguarded, and I could see the heartache that matched my own.
“Evelyn, please, you have no idea how much I regret that day.”
“I think I have some idea.”
“I have thought every day about you—your loss. And every day, I only saw how I would make things worse if I were here.”
“And I only thought of ways you would have made it better.”
I felt angry tears welling up, threatening to spill straight over to sadness. It was a strange feeling, to want to throw something at him and protect him from dangerous flying objects at the same time.
“I took her from you,” he said.
“You didn’t.”
“I brought you nothing but pain and—”
“Don’t say that. That’s not true.”
“But if I hadn’t gotten involved, she might still be—”
“Stop. You are a complete and utter—”
“I am. And I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”
“I forgive you. It’s done. There’s nothing you can do about it!”
Tears were coming now, hot and miserable down my cheeks, as the months of fear and anger overwhelmed me. Mr. Braddock stopped and moved to hold me, hesitating just before he could touch my face. But I could see how much he wanted to and for some reason that made me cry even harder.
“You have shown me far too much kindness. And then you found me and cured me. It’s more than I deserve. You have only to name what I could do to make this better and I would do it.”
We stared at each other in the alley for long minutes, vulnerable and open. I did not know what to say to his outpouring of guilt and he could say nothing that would bring my sister back. I stared at his unshaven beard, the redness that rimmed his eyes, the chapped, trembling lips, and ached, for him, for Rose, for Mae, and for me.
Finally I wiped at my eyes and took in a few deep breaths, letting the fact that he was here, in front of me, not off God knows where, be a comfort.
“We should continue on.” I began walking again, letting the sun’s bit of warmth hit my tear-streaked cheeks. “You are back. You have a cure. You can live a normal life. I just don’t want you to let your guilt get in the way of that. I’ve kept count and you’ve helped more people than you’ve hurt, Sebastian Braddock, and you have plenty of time to do more.” Casting my eyes toward him, I could see Sebastian looking at his own hands with a combination of wonder and skepticism.
“And you believe the Society is the best place to do it?”
“I think I actually do,” I said. It had been only days and we’d already accomplished a great deal. “And I think it’s what Rose would have wanted. Joining a society, learning, helping each other and the world.”
His gaze fell on me. “That is a convincing point.”
As soon as I allowed myself to simply take pleasure in the fact that Sebastian was back in my life and would be working toward the same goal, Mae’s town house loomed large. A shutter came down on my faint joy and I felt like I was saying good-bye already. I could sense the eagerness in him as we neared, a charge in his step.
“I cannot believe I shall be able to shake hands without harming anyone.”
I nodded but didn’t trust myself to say anything till we were ushered into the Lodges’ parlor, piano notes coming from the next room. I managed to smile at Cushing, however, who looked overjoyed at seeing Mr. Braddock and rushed to find Miss Lodge, though in a stately, calm, butlery way.
The piano stopped and I could hear a gasp before Miss Lodge rushed in, her eyes finding Sebastian instantly. Her cheeks were tinged in blotches of becoming pink; her whole being seemed to suggest light and wholesome goodness. Then, instead of his usual distant bow, Sebastian opened his arms for a hug and Mae absolutely glowed. As I watched her and Sebastian embrace for a long moment, their first hug in years, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was more pleased for them or sad for myself.
Chapter 8
“… AND WHY ARE you looking at the mirror like that?”
“I am not looking like anything,” I said, glowering at my mother in the reflection.
She simply raised one eyebrow. She was terrifyingly good at it. The perfect arch, the perfect amount of disdain, all while telegraphing that she knows exactly how things are—and you do not.
“I hope you have been more pleasant with Lady Atherton,” she said, coming over to the vanity to adjust my hair. She gestured for Lucy to leave us.
Over the past two days, Lady Atherton had continued to keep me extremely busy—not only with our usual morning calls, but with endless shopping for the Little Season. In and out of the modiste’s for measurements and fabric selections for walking, day, riding, and evening dresses; the glover’s for white kid gloves that would not last one wearing, so thin and soft you could see the outline of fingernails beneath; the shoemaker for encrusted heeled slippers, soft half boots, and gleaming riding boots; not to mention the various accessories she deemed necessary. She had even ordered a rushed dress for tonight’s event, delivered to my house only hours before. I felt very much like a doll.
“I have been perfectly civil to Lady Atherton,” I finally answered my mother.
Mostly because my annoyance had transferred to Sebastian. He’d promised to call when I left him at Mae’s. But two days had passed without a word.
“I am glad to hear it.” Mother tugged at my coiffure, loosening the strands slightly so it flattered my face more.
I had simply offered him all he could want in life. Was it so wrong to expect a little gratitude? One measly little call?
“And Lord Atherton? He is very pleasant as well.”
She gave me an encouraging look and I resisted the urge to fall asleep at the thought of him. Lord Atherton had joined us on a number of our calls and, to put it simply, he was the greatest bore that had ever existed. He was so starched and cold I suspected he would crack like marble if someone were to knock him off his perfectly polished boots. I settled for a noncommittal “Mm.”
My mother looked at me suspiciously. “I believe Lady Atherton encourages the match as much as your father and I do.”
“I’m very lucky she favors me,” I forced out, suspecting the Society was responsible for that. Lord Atherton and his mother would certainly not be showing any interest otherwise.
Mother frowned. “I do hope you realize that. You cannot afford to be stubborn and wait forever. You must take advantage of the chance.”
Right. That was undoubtedly what Sebastian—no, Mr. Braddock—was doing. He was cured. He could finally marry Mae. And there was no reason for me to be angry or concerned or despairing about him for one second longer. Our obligations to each other were over.
“I understand,” I said. “I will.”
Someh
ow, that only further incensed Mother. “Our fortunes could shift as suddenly as they have before—”
“Mother,” I half-growled. “I am agreeing with you!”
“Yes, far too quickly,” she snapped. “I know you, Evelyn. You mustn’t treat this lightly.”
Well, it seemed I couldn’t be disagreeable, nor agreeable. No matter what, we’d find a way to argue.
Mother fixed her own hair in the glass and sighed. “We only want what’s best for you. Consider it. Please, truly consider it. He is an earl. You won’t find a more comfortable marriage.”
She was right.
Not about Lord Atherton, heavens no. I could imagine a more comfortable marriage to a rock. In fact, I could start a list of the thousands of various inanimate objects that would make for more comfortable marriages and I’d probably die before finishing it. But there was only one marriage I could really consider comfortable, the one person I had considered accepting before I lost Rose, before I found my power, before everything changed.
Mr. Kent had declared himself only a few short months ago. Then, he’d respected my wishes, giving me time and space to mourn my sister, to think about my future. But he didn’t disappear, either. No, he’d spent months trying to help me, fixing my reputation and searching for me when I’d gone missing. And since he’d found me again, he’d tried to make every moment into exactly what I need.
Maybe it wasn’t too late.
Maybe I could still fall in love with Mr. Kent.
“I promise to try tonight,” I finally said to my mother.
Maybe something in my face really had changed because that seemed to convince her.
She smiled in relief, adjusted the rose in my hair, and gave me a final cursory examination. “Good.”
I bid her good night, feeling the slightest bit of optimism for the evening. Yes, Mr. Braddock may have been marrying Mae, and the man my mother wanted me to marry might be a turnip, but I would throw off this moping. Mr. Kent would surely be supplied with quick wit and ready smiles tonight.
My attempt at good spirits was tested soon enough by Lady Atherton as our carriage rattled by the Thames, a slight muddy stink rising off the river. “I am so glad you decided on the cream silk for the evening, Miss Wyndham,” she said.
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