I love him. Not lust. Not simple friendship—love.
“I have something else for you.”
“Hmm?” she said absently as she tore into the candy bar.
“Rachel? Look at me, honey.”
She glanced up.
“Rachel…I want you to be my wife,” he said simply. And then his other hand came from around his back and opened to reveal a black jewelry box. Her breath caught in her throat and her hand went over her heart. She dropped the candy bar. She hadn’t expected this, hadn’t expected it at all. The small box creaked open in his large hand to reveal a platinum band with an enormous princess-cut diamond on top. Wow. Tears immediately pricked in her eyes again. All women dreamed of this moment. All women. Even if they pretended they didn’t want it, they did. And he was giving it to her. Even now, when all was lost at the end of the world, he was taking the time to give this to her.
“Rachel, will you be my wife?”
“Wife?” Her fingers went to touch the ring and a sob escaped her mouth. Adam loved her. He wanted to marry her and become a family. This was permanent, real.
But then reality shattered her happy fantasy.
She looked into his warm eyes. “I would love to marry you. I would love to be able to call you my husband. But we can’t get married. There’s no one to marry us. No one can give us a marriage license. I can’t go down to Social Security and change my name. Social Security doesn’t exist anymore. There’s really no reason for it. No reason to change my name.” More tears welled up in her eyes as she felt the happiness slipping out of her grasp.
“So? That’s the beauty of it. We don’t need to fill out any forms. We just do it, make our own decisions.” He took her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. Not too big, not to small—the same could be said for the glittering diamond on top. “We’ll say our vows to each other. I want to be able to refer to you as my wife. You’re having a baby, so we need to be a family. You can decide that you’ll be Rachel Sanchez from now on. It’s that easy.”
“Rachel Sanchez?” She blinked. She was quiet for a moment, staring at the ring, thinking about what he’d said. He was right. It really could be that easy. No government interfering, no one to say they shouldn’t, nothing in their way. All it would take was the two of them deciding to make it happen. The freedom was exhilarating.
This new world was whatever they wanted to make out of it. If they got married, they got married. The rules had been thrown out the window.
“Let’s do it,” she said.
“Thank fuck,” Adam whispered as he bent down to capture her lips. She giggled at his words as he kissed her tenderly.
Suddenly, an important question popped into her mind. She broke from his kiss. “When did you pick up this ring? How did you have time, with everything that’s happened?”
He lay down next to her on the bed, looking very much like a man posing for a Playgirl centerfold. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms. She rested her hand against his chest, the hand with that dazzling ring on it that she couldn’t stop looking at. He wasn’t answering her. “Adam—”
He rested his chin on top of her head. “Last week, babe. I picked it up at a jewelers in Fresno last week when I went to town with Trevor for supplies.”
“So before the whole debacle yesterday, you’d already decided that you wanted to marry me?” A giant smile spread across her face.
“Yeah. I wanted to make sure you knew this is permanent. That if we met any other survivors, any other men, they would know immediately that you were mine. But now that you’re pregnant, it takes on greater meaning. I love you and I want us to be a family.”
“A family?” She swallowed. “I’m much better about it now, but I’m still worried that we won’t be able to stay safe. I’m worried about bringing a baby into this new world.”
He sighed. “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. One day at a time. The most important thing is that we’re together. I’m just happy that another life is coming into this world. We’re doing our part to restart humanity, right?”
“Right,” she agreed, his logic lightening her heart. She leaned back so she could meet his eyes. Those brown, sparkling eyes she’d seen through tinted glass all those weeks ago for the first time in San Diego. Who knew then, when she’d pointed a gun at him, that she’d end up marrying him? She smiled again. In fact, she couldn’t seem to stop.
He lifted his hand and rubbed his thumb across her lower lip, his eyes following the trace of his finger. Butterflies swirled in her belly at the possession in his gaze. “You’re mine. Having my ring on your finger will make that permanent. The idea of having my mark on you calms me the fuck down. I never planned on having a family in my old life. Back then, career came first. But in this new life children are everything.” He reached down and placed a hand over her lower stomach. “Every life is important now.”
Her heart felt so big. The smile on her face so large it almost hurt. “You’re such a nice man, Adam.”
“Nice man.” He chuckled. “Have you seen my gun collection? I think you have me confused with someone else.”
She looked again at her hand on his chest, at the ring, and relaxed. It would all be all right. It had to be. They were both quiet for a few minutes. Finally, she said, “You know what I wish?”
“Hmm?” he answered, still rubbing her lower stomach in a most delicious way.
“I wish we could go back in time, before the outbreak, to when I was still a student. I could be home during winter break and meet you, and we could start dating.”
He held her hand. “I’d return from my last tour to find Lori and Danny shacked up. But in the end I wouldn’t give a shit because I’d met you.”
“Yes.” She squeezed his fingers. “How did we meet?”
He thought for a moment. “At Balboa Park?”
She nodded. “I used to go there all the time.”
“You’re walking your dog, I’m walking my dog. We pass and they start sniffing, and the next thing you know we’re talking.”
“You do know I wouldn’t have a dog, right? I’m more of a cat person. I think that’s why all those dogs chased me. They could tell I’m a cat person.”
“I didn’t have a dog either, but it’s my fantasy.”
She laughed. “Okay then, but let me add to it. We end up meeting again at the local dog park. You ask me out. I think you’re handsome and heroic and I can hardly wait to get you in bed.” She poked his chest. “Soldier boy.”
He chuckled.
“See, we could have met and fallen in love, even without the outbreak. We have enough in common that we could have met before.”
“You like that idea? That’s important to you?”
“Yeah.”
“Rachel?” he said.
“Hmm?”
“Just for the record—” he turned his head to look at her, his eyes soft as he trailed a finger along her jaw, “—remember how you asked before if it was better to have survived or to be killed in the initial blast? I never answered your question. Well, I’m telling you now, it’s better to have survived. I’m fucking grateful to have survived and have a new life ahead of me. With you.”
Her throat tightened. “Stop,” she whispered. “You’re going to make me cry.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “Go for it.”
And she did cry. All over his gorgeous chest.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Adam announced their engagement to everyone the very next morning. Amidst the hugging and congratulatory remarks, he explained how they’d decided to postpone having an actual ceremony until he and Rachel could decide how to pull off a wedding ceremony in this day and age. Also, Adam and Rachel had privately agreed that Phoebe had been through something tragic just two days before, and forcing a wedding ceremony on her, as if they wer
e unconcerned about what she’d been through and were blowing it off…well, it seemed wrong. Disrespectful.
But later that day, Phoebe pulled her aside. “Rachel,” she whispered urgently as she pulled the sliding glass door open. “Follow me. I need to talk to you.” Outside, the morning air was crisp, the air glistening before the midday heat.
Rachel looked at her, still trying not to cry over the cut across Phoebe’s lip and the bruise on her jaw.
“Okay. So when are you having this wedding?” Phoebe asked.
“I don’t know.” Rachel shrugged. “The ceremony itself isn’t important,” she lied. “I’m just happy that—”
“Bullshit,” Phoebe cut her off. “The ceremony is always important, and so is the dress.” She blew out an agitated sigh. “You’re putting this off for me, aren’t you?”
“Phoebe, it just happened,” Rachel whispered. “You need time.”
“No.” Phoebe swallowed and took a deep breath. “No. You don’t understand, Rachel. I haven’t wanted to talk to you about it because I don’t want to give what happened air time,” she whispered fiercely. “If I cower, if I hide, if I wallow in what happened, those bastards win. Do you understand? They win.”
Rachel’s jaw clenched and tears burned behind her eyes. She met Phoebe’s strong gaze and nodded.
“But, Rachel, if I help you plan a wedding, it will give me something else to think about besides what happened to me last night. I need this wedding. I need something else to do, so I don’t obsess over how those men raped me. You don’t understand. You’d be doing me a favor handing this off to me and letting me plan this for you. Did you know before I bought the boutique, I used to be a wedding planner?”
“You were?”
“Yeah, I was really good at it too.” Phoebe gave her a wobbly smile. “I was an assistant for a big-time wedding planner and then branched off on my own.”
Rachel smiled. “I had no idea.” She pulled Phoebe’s petite frame into her arms and gave her a tight hug. “Okay, if you want this, we’ll do it now, we won’t wait. And yes, please, please plan the whole thing. I’d love it because I don’t have the first clue and I know Adam doesn’t either.”
“Good. Besides,” Phoebe said with a shaky smile when they disentangled, “I know just the dress.”
* * * * *
Adam and Rachel were married a week later, because why not?
Everyone was there. All seven of them. It wasn’t like anyone needed to travel or fly in from out of state. No invitations needed to be sent, hall booked, or honeymoon planned. The idea of a long engagement was laughable. The entire wedding guest list included Trevor, Christian, Sebastian, Phoebe and Josie. Seven people including her and Adam. Seven survivors of Ruyigi Ebola, all banding together.
San Diego had had a population of over a million.
Phoebe pulled off a minor miracle.
Rachel was amazed that Phoebe had found not only an appropriate white cocktail dress for her to wear as a wedding gown, but a dress shirt and slacks that fit Adam’s large frame in such short time. Rachel knew he wished he could have married her in dress uniform complete with medals, ribbons and badges. And holy hell, she wished that too. Seeing him all decked out, she probably would have fainted at the sight. But two days later, Rachel admired the view as Adam stepped out onto the side lawn. He took her breath away. He looked straight out of the cast of Ocean’s Eleven. His dark hair slicked back, the throat of his blue dress shirt open, exposing his powerful neck. He was so handsome she wanted to cry just looking at him. And that scar he hated running down the side of his face. She loved it. He looked like a pirate. Dangerous. Sexy.
The way he watched her, the love shining for her in his eyes, the joy and happiness that radiated from his every pore. Seriously, she wanted to bottle this and sell it.
The best part was that for once she wasn’t beating herself up thinking Adam could do better, or that he’d only chosen her because she was a big fish in a small pond. She loved this new, confident person she’d become. It was so freeing, so refreshing. She proudly walked up the aisle, Sebastian holding her arm, giving her away. She knew Adam only had eyes for her, and that in reality he was lucky to have her too.
Rachel ran a hand lovingly down the skirt of her dress. It was so freaking awesome. Simple and sexy. The Jimmy Choo shoes, which were a white version of Adam’s favorite black fuck-me shoes, made her legs look a mile long. Her hair was full and wavy down her back, her make-up flawless. And she wore enough diamonds to make Elizabeth Taylor roll over in her grave. She knew she looked good and she was working it. And Adam watched her, hungry like the wolf.
Trevor officiated at the ceremony, which strangely enough wasn’t weird at all. They decided to hold the gathering at the side of the house where there was a wide lawn that was still green. The men had mowed the grass the day before and it looked as beautiful as a park. In the background were the Sierra Nevada Mountains and below, an orchard of orange trees. It was a beautiful setting. Everyone dressed up for the ceremony, Josie being particularly excited in her role as flower girl.
When Adam said his vows, Rachel teared up. She couldn’t help it. If only her friends and family could be here. If only Dad had walked her down the aisle. She glanced around at the smiling faces surrounding her. But this new group, this was her family now. They were all starting over. Everyone seemed as happy as they were. Rachel knew then that this wedding meant something to all of them. It was a symbol of their hope for the future. Not just her and Adam’s future.
Everyone’s future.
“You may kiss the bride.” Trevor grinned.
And Adam did. Oh yes, he did.
Trevor watched them kiss. Adam and Rachel held each other with unrestrained passion and tenderness. It was so intimate, so private he had to look away, his chest constricting. They didn’t even know he was there. They didn’t seem to remember any of the others were there.
“Goddamn fucking shit,” he muttered.
Adam and Rachel were in love. Ridiculously in love. Sickeningly in love. They were married now and she was pregnant. He sucked in a deep breath, tired of the happy face he’d put on for his friends. The well was about to dry up. Hell, it was already dry, and he knew it. He and Adam had fulfilled Rachel’s wildest fantasies, given her memories to last forever. But he was certain it was over. She’d found her man, and with her pregnant, Adam would be more possessive than ever. Not that Trevor could blame him. It wasn’t like the two of them had promised him forever. He’d known it wouldn’t last. He just hadn’t known it would end so damn soon.
Trevor shoved his hands in his pockets. Looked like he was back to jacking off. Alone.
That was it. He needed to find his own woman. Enough of this sharing crap. It never seemed to work out anyway. He was tired of being odd man out.
Sebastian, Josie and Phoebe were standing together, their own little family unit. Adam and Rachel were starting their own family. For the first time in his life, Trevor allowed the spark of jealousy he’d noted before in past relationships to come fully alive. It was all there. Burning-up, fiery-pits-of-hell-type jealous. He wanted this too. Wanted it bad.
Trevor glanced over at Christian, who stood in the back, detached from the group. He looked haunted, like the quiet man Trevor had found sitting on the front porch of the home Christian had shared with the family he’d lost.
Trevor walked up to him. “Wanna grab some expensive alcohol, get totally fucked up and drive around the countryside in the middle of the night bashing mailboxes with a baseball bat?”
Christian studied him with narrow eyes, quiet for a moment.
“Come on, dude. It’s time to let some of this shit go and live a little. Those two are happy. You and I are on the outs. Let’s go get drunk and break something ’til we feel better.”
Christian looked at the ground and then lifted his head and grinned. “Sounds like
a damn good idea, let’s get the hell out of here.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
One week later
Adam walked to the mobile radio unit he’d set up in the office at the back of the house, ready to start his daily broadcast. He did this every morning after his jog with Rachel and after he’d had breakfast. It had become part of his routine. He didn’t expect to hear a thing. He hadn’t heard much for the last two and a half months, so why would today be any different? But he still had to try.
He sat and felt that familiar tingle in his spine. That feeling that today might be the day. He flicked the radio on, listened to it power up, sighed and started his script, the same thing he said each and every day. Over and over again.
One minute in, he heard a voice. It was that message, the one he’d heard two times before but that had always cut off.
He sat up straight. “This is Lieutenant Adam Sanchez of the United States Marine Corps, please repeat?” He held his breath. This was where it usually ended. It had never gone further than this.
“Yes, hello. Is anyone out there? My name is Rebel. I’m calling from the Bay Area.”
He gripped the mic. “This is Lieutenant Adam Sanchez. We’ve got seven survivors here. How many do you have?”
“Oh my God,” the female voice answered. “I can’t believe this. I’m so happy to have found other survivors!”
He leaned back in his seat and bellowed through the open door. “Rachel? Get in here!”
He leaned forward and asked the first thing that came to his mind. “Are you alone? Do you need help?”
“No. No. We’re fine. There’s two of us, one man and one woman. We found this radio and turned it on for the first time today and heard your broadcast.” She sounded as excited as he felt. “We haven’t seen anyone else since the end. We thought it was just the two of us.” Her voice broke. He could hear her talking through her tears. “It’s so good to hear another voice, to know there are more people out there alive. Did you say there are seven of you?”
Die for You Page 29
