by Lexy Timms
And half of those memories were like her memories.
“Sasha Benson is ... an old family friend,” Ash said.
“Who you go to the island with?” Kallie asked.
“Her and her family have a bungalow at the resort, yes. She spends a lot of time there, as I’m sure you could judge by her tan. Her family is stationed here like mine is, but she pretty much flies around and parties on her family’s dime. She’s everything I can’t stand about that kind of community, and sometimes she’ll try to track me dow—”
“It’s okay. You don’t need to explain anymore.”
And he didn’t. Kallie understood what was going on. Sasha had said enough at their lunch gathering. Her and Ash started as a hookup. As nothing more than a fling. Of course a man like him had a “game” he ran on girls. It was clear he’d had other vacation hookups on the island. Again, not shocking to Kallie. What they were both feeling for each other had taken them by surprise and Ash had flown all the way back to a place he obviously despised to find her.
But it didn’t stop Kallie from being horribly jealous.
And she hated the feeling.
“Kallie, Sasha was just a—”
“It’s fine. Really. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“The look on your face tells me otherwise,” Ash said.
“It’s fine,” Kallie said as she shook her head. “Really, it is. We started—and then things—and you...”
Kallie closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. She didn’t want to be in his place anymore. The jealousy was overwhelming, and she suddenly didn’t want to be there any longer. She didn’t want to be in the clothes she was wearing, and she didn't want to be touched by him. She felt herself careening out of control again and she didn’t like it.
Not when she was slowly beginning to plant her feet.
“Come on. We’ll cuddle on the couch and watch a movie,” Ash said. “When we get hungry, I can have that pizza place and the cinnamon bun place deliver right to us. We’ll spend an evening in.”
“I actually need to be getting home,” Kallie said.
She watched Ash plead with his eyes, so she diverted her gaze.
“Don’t do this, Kallie.”
“I’m not doing anything. We spent some time together, but I do have work to prepare for in the next couple of days. I should take some time to prepare for it. Not all of us can live happily ever after every single day.”
Kallie spit that last sentence more than she would’ve wished, and it caused Ash to sigh.
“I have a mountain of laundry that has to get done in the meantime. And flowers that need to be taken care of,” she said.
She knew the excuse was weak, but she felt vulnerable. Exposed. And not in a good way. There was a good type of vulnerable that came with Ash. The type of vulnerable that made her feel beautiful and loved and cherished. But being reminded of her island boy meant also being reminded of the games he used to run on that island. The game he ran on her, until things changed between them. She felt herself slipping into a vulnerability that made her feel stifled. Used. Somehow less than what she thought they were. Hearing another woman rattle off things she had done with Ash on the island somehow cheapened their experience. The surfing and the dancing.
Had he taken her on the yacht as well? Maybe they got caught in a storm too.
Kelly felt her mind spiraling, and she needed to get away from him for a moment. To get some perspective on what was happening between them. When she was close to him, it was too easy to give in to the pleasure of his company. To the warmth of his body. She sank into him because of the connection they had on the St. Barts, but how genuine was that connection? How much of that had been fabricated by a game he had run on so many others? And did the fact that he came here when she ran somehow erase all of that? He had money to spare for days on end. Ashly Worthington could single-handedly fuel multiple Third World countries for years on the amount of wealth he seemed to rake in without even having to work.
Somehow, him hopping on some private jet and flying into the city to find her didn't seem as romantic as it once did. Like somehow, the effort was cheapened by the fact that it was easy for him to do in the first place.
Like running his game on multiple women.
Kallie hated the look of disappointment that rushed over Ash's face. It made her stomach turn and it made her weaken toward him. She needed to stay strong. She needed some space. She had less than two days to prepare to go back to work, and she would have to brace herself for the questions. Why she wasn't wearing her wedding rings. What really happened. She would have to relive that moment over and over again for the people she met and helped. Because they would want to know what happened. Because they cared.
At least, that was what Kallie told herself.
That they cared about the woman reorganizing their lives.
“Could I come help you with your laundry then?” Ash asked.
Kallie looked at him sideways.
Why in the world would a man like him want to do laundry? He probably paid someone to wash his own clothes. To pick them up from the dry cleaners. Why would he offer to come back to her place and wash your dirty clothes? But the idea of him coming back to her place didn't sit well with her. No, she needed this distance from him.
Even if he didn't understand it.
“I think I’ve got my laundry under control,” she said. “But thanks for the offer.”
“Then I could bring you dinner later on? The pizza and the dessert?”
“It’ll be fine. I’ve got plenty of food I had delivered when I got back,” she said. “I’ll give you a call, okay?”
Kallie gripped her purse as she headed for the door, but Ash took a hold on her arms. He slowly brought her around in front of him before crooking his fingers underneath her chin. Just that smallest touch made her weak in the knees. Made her legs crumble and made it harder to stand. She drew in a deep breath as Ash pressed against her skin, raising her gaze up to meet his. She lost herself in his hazel eyes again. In the beauty of his mahogany hair that hung just a little too long on his forehead. In the smattering of freckles that didn't seem as dark now that they weren't in the harsh sun of the island of St. Barts.
“Sasha means nothing to me, Pretty Kallie. Nothing at all.”
She’d never get used to that nickname. She loved it and hated it at the same time. How it made her feel special in the arms of a man whose reputation dodged around in her mind as often as Serena Williams returned a damn tennis ball.
“I don’t want you to go,” Ash said as he pressed his forehead to hers. “Not like this.”
“You’re overreacting,” Kallie said as she gazed up into his eyes. “I’m fine. I really do have things to go do.”
“Then call me,” he said. “For real this time. Call me tonight. Or in the morning. Let me know how your work goes. Call me when you get home.”
Kallie nodded, then pulled away from his grasp and opened his door.
Her wobbly legs carried her down to the front of the building. She hailed a cab and quickly got in, her eyes peeking back up to the top of the building. The penthouse windows were tinted, and she knew he would never be able to see anything, but something in her gut told her Ash was looking down on her. Watching her get into the cab and drive away.
“Where to?” the driver asked.
She rattled off her address, then settled back into the seat for the cab ride home. She had no idea why she was reacting this way. Seeing one of Ash's old flames shouldn't affect her like it was. Right? But the more she thought about it, the more it really wasn't about the fact that she was an ex. It was what she represented. The reality of the life Ash lived before she met him on the island. The game he ran on her before things changed.
If things hadn't changed, would he have even remembered her? And if he didn't usually remember his conquests, then why did he remember Sasha?
Sasha was a physical representation of the line of women that had come befor
e her. The line of women that dropped to Ash’s feet to do anything for that man. Anything for his attention and his time and his money. Simultaneously, she could see why Ash hid who he was, as well as why she was so hesitant to jump into something with him. He had a past. A past that had to do with hopping from woman to woman. What in his past proved to her that he wouldn't hop around to other women while she was with him?
Was it his money that made him play women like that? Or was that simply his personality?
Did it really matter? Was one somehow better than the other?
Kallie had no way of knowing if Ash was ready to give up that life. A life of hooking up on an exotic island and never having to attach himself to someone. Was he willing to give that up and start something with her? Or did he somehow think if he could strike something up with her and still be able to keep that life going in the background? That was something she wouldn't tolerate. She would not tolerate being cheated on again. And it seemed like the more she peeled his layers back, the more she found proof that he might be more like James then she wanted to admit.
But even if everything played out in her favor, and even if Ash was ready to abandon that hookup-island life, and even if he was telling the truth when he said nothing about his wealth— Was she ready for him?
Was she ready for something serious?
That was the real question she couldn't answer. But it seemed to be the only question that mattered.
Chapter 12
Kallie
Kallie sat at her desk, going over her appointment list for the week. She had kept things light because she figured she would be settling into the home she and James were preparing. Still in that honeymoon stage of bliss. Still the light of each other’s eyes. She sent off a few emails to some clients she knew wanted her services that week, letting them know she was free. Open to help them in any way she could. She tried not to think about the past couple of weeks. About the fact that she had given up one relationship and was halfway out of another one.
She figured the time would fly if she was getting her heart broken, so she might as well work while she had the time.
A videoconference call devolved into her client asking her questions about her wedding. Wondering how it went. Asking her about her honeymoon. And it was the first time she truly thought back on what happened. Recounting it to her client forced her to see it from an outside point of view. It gave her the ability to remove all of the emotions she was experiencing in that moment and see it for what it was. A brief moment in time where her judgment had lapsed. Her client balked when she talked about James trying to apologize for what he had done. How he had betrayed her on their sacred day. Kallie closed her eyes and told her client briefly that she had taken the honeymoon anyway. To have some time to herself. And her client cheered her on, telling her it was what she deserved after what her ex-fiancé put her through.
If only she knew what had really taken place on that island.
That was true karma.
Kallie stayed up most of the night batting things back and forth. She kept volleying between wanting Ash and not wanting him. About wanting to call James and not wanting to call him. The history she had with a man she loved crept into the forefront of her mind during the early hours of the morning. And then, they were washed away with the tidal wave that was Ash. In some ways, she thought Ash and the island were her own dose of karma. She hated the way she had been judged by James and his family, and then she judged James for his singular action on their wedding day. Dumped him without allowing him to give an explanation. Left him without giving them the chance to recover.
And yet, she knew that any other woman would have made the same choice she had that day. She knew any other woman—her mother included—would have left him standing there in the middle of the narthex of the cathedral they were supposed to be married in with his tail between his legs. But years of history was hard to erase. Years of whispering “I love you” in the middle of the night and years of making love until the sun came up. Years of traveling and years of arguments and years of crying tears together. Years of coming back from the brink of darkness Kallie never thought they would come out of.
What did she and Ash have? Some island with a storm and an ex that wielded her money like the raging confidence of that storm.
Kallie felt like she had been sitting at her desk all day. But when she looked down at the clock on her computer, she realized she had only been at work for an hour. And a shadow that loomed over her ripped her from her trance. She looked up and saw a delivery man with a bright smile on his face at her door. He handed her a package. She furrowed her brow and peeked at it, reading her name written in a beautiful cursive on top of the package.
She recognized that handwriting.
And her stomach instantly dropped.
Kallie carefully unwrapped her package and found a black velvet box inside. There was a card on top of it. With the name “Kal-Bear” written in that beautiful cursive writing. James had sent her something. Some sort of present. And she held her breath as she set the present on her desk and picked up the card.
My dearest Kallie,
You mean more to me than anything in the entire world, and I want our love to endure. I want us to be able to handle the pressure of this world and the heat we will attract from others for loving the way we do. Because when heat is combined with pressure, and you give it enough time, the most beautiful thing appears.
Forever yours,
James
At least her fingertips trembled as she plucked a black velvet box from its container. She opened it steadily, trying to convince herself that the present she thought was in here wasn't actually in here. But it was. It was a beautiful diamond necklace. One she had been gazing at through a window for months. The beautiful aquamarine teardrop gem was strong on a string that housed beautiful white and yellow diamonds. It was subtle. Small. Delicate, like the small chain the gem hung from. And it was every bit as beautiful as it was the day she saw it in the window.
Kallie couldn't put it down. James had always been charming, but he never went to great lengths to spend a lot of money on her. Every once in a while, he surprised her with something that reminded her of his money. But most of what he spent was to impress other people. They would go out to eat at fancy restaurants with some of his friends, and he would pick up the entire bill. He would pay for people's medical bills and wait for the praise that would come his way. At least, that was how she saw it whenever she got angry with him. Outside of a pair of small diamond earrings, the only piece of expensive jewelry James ever purchased for her was Kallie’s engagement ring.
And yet, she was looking at a necklace she had been staring at for months. The only piece of jewelry that had ever caught her eye in a store. She was holding it in her hands, and it was from the man she had almost married.
More proof of their history.
More proof that he paid attention more than he let on.
Kallie drew in a deep breath as her mind began to swirl. The ball was currently in her court and she didn't know how she felt about that. She was slowly eliminating Ash from her memory so she could get back to work. Get back to her life. Get back to moving forward. And then she was slapped with a gift that should have made her happy. That should have made her eyes glisten with tears. That should have made her feel thankful.
If James knew she wanted this necklace so badly, why wait until he is so royally screwed to get it for her?
“I can’t accept this,” Kallie said over the phone.
“It’s yours. I know you’ve been staring at it. Kallie, that necklace has you written all over it,” James said.
“I’m not accepting this gift. I’m taking it back to the store.”
“Then if you won’t accept the gift, Kal-Bear, have dinner with me. You can return it to me in person and not have to go through the hassle of crossing town to walk into the store.”
“James, come on.”
“What? You want to return the gift,
and that’s fine. I have the receipt. Just meet me for dinner and you can hand it over,” he said.
“I know what you’re trying to do. I know how you’ve played this out,” Kallie said.
“Dinner. That’s it. You can even leave before you order, if that’s what you wish. You can put the gift down, turn around, and walk out. And I won’t stop you.”
“You won’t stop me.”
“Nope. I’ll let you walk away if that’s what you wish,” he said.
Kallie sat there, debating on his words. Was he telling the truth? Would it be that easy?
Had it ever been that easy?
“Okay,” she said reluctantly. “But only to return the gift.”
“I’ll text you the details. I can’t wait to see you.”
“That makes one of us.”
Kallie hung up the phone before James could get another word in edgewise. She was not looking forward to seeing him. She knew what he was doing. It was sneaky. She hoped that if she called him, she would find an innocence behind the gift. A little gesture of hope to show that he really was sorry for what happened on their wedding day. But it was only in an attempt to wrangle her into dinner, and she knew that.
So why did she agree to meet him for dinner?
Kallie’s eyes panned over to the stack of business cards on her desk. “An organized life is a happy life.” That was the motto of her small business. She wondered where she went wrong. She wondered when everything had toppled in on itself and become so chaotic. Her eyes fell back to her lap and she took in the beautiful necklace. What had briefly been a symbol of hope and a reminder of a future she had with a fiancé had quickly turned into a physical symbol of his ability to manipulate her. She closed the velvet box and tossed it back into the package, sighing as she did so.
Then, her phone rang out on her desk.
“Kallie Semple, Chaos To Construct, where an organized life is a happy life. How can I help you today?”
“Hi! Yes. So, um, I saw one of your advertisements online, and I could really use your help if you have time.”
