by Toni Blake
Rachel, too, looked wearied by the subject, almost making Anna feel bad for bringing it up. “Do you know how many people have congratulated us today? And how hard it is to smile? Because . . .” She sighed as well. “I know babies are precious and all, but we’re still pretty stressed out about this.”
Just then, Anna caught sight of someone waving at her from across the way and realized it was the young woman she’d met at Under the Covers a couple of days ago, Christy Knight. She excused herself from Rachel and Mike and made her way over to Christy—who seemed in better spirits today than when they’d met.
And as they stood talking a few minutes later, she realized just how glad she was she’d come. She really was getting to know people here. And she was also getting to like them. She was no longer the long-lost Anna Romo, no longer the town curiosity. That honor now belonged to Jeremy Sheridan, who handled it with far more grace than she had. But then, it was probably easier coming home as a war hero than someone who had been abducted. She almost laughed at the absurdity of the thought—and realized she was actually seeing a bit of humor in something she’d never dreamed she could. She was becoming part of this idyllic little town, relaxing into it, carving out a role for herself here at last.
And if that wasn’t amazing enough—she was in love. And even if Duke wasn’t ready to embrace Destiny along with her just yet, that was okay. Everything in its own time. She had faith in him—when she’d said that the other night, it had been about far more than orgasm—and she felt better in this moment than she had in a very long while.
She still stood making small talk with Christy Knight five minutes later when a woman named Mary Katherine, who had been introduced to Anna as Miss Ellie’s daughter, began tapping a fork on a wineglass to get everyone’s attention.
When finally everyone in the garden went quiet, looking her way, she said, “I know a rumor has gone around Destiny that there would be a big surprise at today’s party—and I’m pleased to tell you that it wasn’t just a rumor. I’m very happy to introduce to you all, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Logan Whitaker!”
The entire crowd gasped aloud, Anna and Christy along with them, as Amy and Logan came whisking through the white latticed archway that led into the garden, hand in hand. Amy looked radiant and glowing in a flowy white sundress, a yellow flower tucked behind one ear. Logan appeared as handsome as ever in crisp khaki cargo pants and a blue polo shirt. Amy was smiling, laughing, looking absolutely joyful in a way Anna felt all the way to her toes as applause broke out.
Anna happened to be standing closer to the couple than most of their friends, and when Amy spotted her, she smiled and waved. Then called to her, “Mr. Knightley didn’t really get a flea treatment or shots!” Then she held up her left hand, flashing a diamond ring. “We eloped to Las Vegas!”
It was late in the afternoon that Rachel found herself alone with just her girlfriends. She sat at a large, white wrought iron table outside the garden under a billowing maple tree with Tessa, Amy, Jenny, and Sue Ann. Maybe most people wouldn’t consider a crowd that size private, or “alone,” but after a few hours in the crowd at Miss Ellie’s, still just on the other side of the rose of Sharon bushes in the distance, being in a circle of only her close friends made her feel more relaxed than she had all day. She loved Mike with all her heart, but since coming home to Destiny a few years ago, her friends had been her safety net, her safe place.
“Where’s Anna?” Jenny asked. “We should invite her to join us.”
“Being monopolized by my brother probably,” Tessa replied on a laugh. “I was going to tell her we were sneaking out for a little girl talk, but I didn’t see her anywhere.”
“It’s so great that Jeremy’s home,” Amy said. “What a surprise, huh?”
And they all just looked at her. Sue Ann said, “Look who’s talking about surprises! What on earth got into you, eloping?”
Rachel remained just as stunned as everyone else, and was eager to hear Amy’s reply.
Blushing prettily, Amy said, “We just decided we didn’t want to wait—and that we wanted to do something adventurous. I mean, do you guys realize how little of the world I’ve seen beyond Destiny? And it just made sense that if I’m going to start having more adventures that I do it with my soulmate, right?”
Rachel smiled and tried to ignore the current queasiness in her stomach, something she still hadn’t quite shaken, glad to let Amy’s exciting news distract her. “You deserve grand adventures, Ames!” she said.
“So—tell us everything,” Tessa prodded.
And Amy gave them all the fun details from start to finish, about the beautiful ceremony in the garden at the Bellagio, about the gorgeous white dress she’d bought in a boutique in the hotel, about the honeymoon suite complete with rose petals on the bed. “And Logan was so romantic every step of the way.” She sighed happily, and Rachel couldn’t have been more pleased for her sweet friend.
Only then Amy’s happy smile faded as she looked in Rachel’s direction. “You got cheated, though. Out of being maid of honor.” The agreement Rachel, Amy, and Tessa had embarked upon had put Rachel in line to be Amy’s.
Yet she shook her head, eager to let Amy know it was okay. “Your happiness and adventures are way more important to me than being a maid of honor—I promise.” And then another wave of nausea struck and she made a face, pressing her palm to her belly. “Ugh. Seems I have other things to worry about these days anyway.”
“Still sick, huh?” Sue Ann asked, her expression filling with sympathy.
“Yep.”
“That’s definitely the worst part of being pregnant for sure.” And as the only mother in their group of friends, Rachel figured Sue Ann was qualified to know. “You know,” Sue Ann went on, “I don’t want to pick on you, Rachel, but . . . you really didn’t have any clue you were pregnant?”
“Hey, it’s not as obvious as you might think when your birth control pill makes it so you only have four periods a year,” she pointed out. “And . . . I’m sure I was in denial, too. I mean, if the signs were there, I guess I subconsciously chose not to see them.” She released a heavy sigh, feeling tired. “I still can’t quite wrap my head around this. Is that awful?”
And that’s when Jenny said, “Yes!” and the whole group went quiet.
Rachel met Jenny’s gaze across the table, stunned. “Huh?” she murmured.
“Yes, it is awful,” Jenny said in a snappish tone Rachel had never heard from her, ever, in their whole lives. “I’d give anything to be pregnant right now, Rachel, and all you can do is complain about it and act like it’s a burden. Well, that’s not right. It’s a baby, Rachel—you’re having a child! You’re bringing a new life into the world! That’s amazing! It’s a miracle! But to you and Mike, it’s just an annoyance.”
When she finished, everyone stayed silent.
And Rachel felt like she’d been slapped. She knew Jenny was trying to get pregnant, but . . .
“Look, Jenny,” she said, “I’m truly sorry you haven’t been able to conceive yet. And I’m sure as time passes, Mike and I will adjust to this—but right now, it’s something we didn’t choose and we’re not sure we’re cut out for. So you’re not the only one going through something. It’s not my fault you and Mick are having trouble getting pregnant. And . . . I don’t think you’re being a very good friend to me right now.”
In response, Jenny appeared as affronted as Rachel felt. “Well, I don’t think you’re being a very good friend to me, either.”
Rachel sat staring at Jenny, her dear girlfriend since they were little, unable to believe they were having this conversation. Occasionally she and her friends had disagreements or momentary squabbles, but nothing like this.
It broke her heart.
But she believed in her right to feel the way she felt, that her feelings were valid and just as important as Jenny’s.
“I’m . . . going to go,” Jenny said, brow knit, looking close to tears.
Then she
stood up and began walking toward Blue Valley Road. The little yellow cottage she shared with Mick was the next house up, within sight through the empty meadow that separated the two homes.
“Um, I’ll go after her,” Sue Ann volunteered a moment later.
And after she was gone, Rachel said to Tessa and Amy, “What was that? Am I really so horrible?”
Amy reached over and took her hand. “Of course not. Jenny’s just . . . in a bad place right now.”
Rachel let out what she knew was an immature harrumph—because you could do that with friends. Or you should be able to anyway. “Well, I’m not in a great place myself.” She looked back and forth between Amy and Tessa. “Do you know that I’ve been so up in arms over this that I forgot to feed the cat yesterday. You guys—what if I forget to feed the baby?”
They both made comforting sounds and Tessa said, “Well, for one thing, it will cry and let you know. And for another, you won’t forget. You just won’t.”
“I really do worry,” she confided in them, “about Mike and me as parents. Some people are cut out for that and some aren’t. And we’ve both always been in agreement that we fall into the aren’t category, at least so far.”
Now Amy was patting her hand. “Well, you’ll just change categories, that’s all. Don’t worry—everything will be fine. And with Jenny, too.”
Rachel blinked, still in shock. “I don’t see how. I mean, we’ve been friends our whole lives and this feels . . . big. What if we don’t forgive each other? What if we can’t? And what if I have this baby and she can’t handle being around it—or me?”
Duke washed his hands in Anna’s downstairs bathroom sink, same as he did every day when he finished work on the house. Then he looked in the mirror. At his scar.
Anna had accepted him with it—hell, more than accepted him. She’d made him feel human again. And Lucky hadn’t blinked—though he’d seen it right after the accident, too. Tessa had even gone so far as to make light of it. And no one at the Dew Drop had seemed to notice.
But how would people react if he walked into some fancy party at that old lady’s house on Blue Valley Lake? Wouldn’t that be different? A dark bar was one thing—but wouldn’t a guy with a jagged scar on his face stand out a lot more, be a lot more out of place among the fine folks of Destiny, on a bright summer afternoon, all of them drinking their punch and eating their deviled eggs and apple pie?
Funny, he’d gone to more than one event last summer related to Lucky’s wedding, and he’d gone to Mike’s wedding, too—and he hadn’t given a damn what anyone thought of him. Even then, before the scar, he’d known he’d probably stand out in the crowd, but he’d been good with who he was and he’d figured if anybody had a problem with him, they could fuck off.
So what’s it mean if you’re so damn concerned with what they think of you now?
That you don’t like who you are anymore?
He took a deep breath, let it back out. You hit the nail on the head.
Not that it was a surprise. A guy doesn’t take the steps he’d taken if he had his shit together. But maybe he’d thought he was doing better—getting better—until Anna had tried to press him into going to that party this afternoon and he’d acted pissy about it.
Now he felt bad. She was so brave, and so good to him in so many ways. He was sorry he’d been snotty to her. Even if she was pushy as hell sometimes, she didn’t deserve that. What she deserved was a stand-up guy.
Looking back to the mirror, he took another deep breath. And he wished he had a decent shirt to put on, but most of his stuff was in a storage locker in Crestview, so a clean gray T-shirt would have to do. He was thankful he’d been washing some stuff in Anna’s laundry room and wouldn’t smell like lake water.
Twenty minutes later he’d taken a shower and put on clean clothes.
One last look in the mirror. It’s not a big deal—it’ll be fine. Do this for Anna.
Walking out the door, he got on his bike and took the curvy roads down to Blue Valley Lake. Fifteen minutes later he’d wound his way there; it was easy to spot the house where the party took place due to the cars lining each side of the country road.
It was less easy to stop and park, but he did. And his stomach went hollow as he put down the kickstand, but he didn’t hesitate—he got off the bike and walked up in front of the cute little house and made his way around to the side where he could hear people talking and laughing.
One more deep breath—he’d just walk in and find her. And Lucky and Tessa. And it would be as easy as she’d said. And even if it wasn’t . . . well, it felt like the right thing to do. Because he was pretty sure it would make her happy to see him there.
He approached the white archway that appeared to lead into the party, then paused to steal a glimpse inside. Just to get the lay of the land.
And what he saw nearly made his heart stop.
Anna stood talking with some tall, clean-cut, good-looking guy—who looked way more like someone she should be with than he did. She was smiling up into his eyes and he was leaning close, saying something near her ear that made her laugh. Duke’s gut pinched tight.
“Did you see Jeremy Sheridan?” he heard a young girl’s voice say nearby—then he glanced to his right to see two teenagers talking. They hadn’t noticed him. “He’s home from Afghanistan and he’s standing right there talking to Anna Romo. She’s so lucky! My mom said he’s some kind of hero, that he saved a bunch of people’s lives or something. And OMG, he’s sooo cute!”
As he shifted his gaze back to Anna and the “war hero,” Duke’s stomach sank. He’d been right the first time. He didn’t belong here and it had been stupid to come.
Maybe he’d been stupid about a lot of things, in fact.
Glad no one had seen him yet, he turned around, crossed the yard to where he’d parked his bike, and started back toward Half Moon Hill.
“May one at least ask to what darkness you are returning?”
Gaston Leroux, The Phantom of the Opera
Seventeen
He was probably riding too fast, but he didn’t care. The curves in the road, the wind on his face—they were good distractions. Not that he wasn’t thinking about what he’d just seen. The image had burned itself into his brain.
He wasn’t angry. Just . . . well, maybe the right word was hurt. Disappointed. He and Anna had no ties, no commitment—she was free to do what she wanted, the same as him—but he just hadn’t expected this. He’d just thought things were good between them. Good enough that he’d spilled his guts to her, told her everything. Good enough that . . . well, he’d just thought maybe it was something a little . . . special. And that it would last longer. Hell, the truth was, even if he’d beat himself up for letting himself feel so close to her, maybe somehow he’d also started believing that he could learn to be a better man for her.
Damn, he’d been foolish. Foolish to let himself get emotionally involved. Foolish to think he’d ever stood a real chance at that anyway. And he didn’t blame her—he knew she wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt him—but hell, how could he ever compete with a guy like the one she’d been standing there with?
They were only standing. They weren’t making out or anything. Only standing. Talking.
But that didn’t matter. It had been easy to see romance brewing, easy to see that the war hero was into her and that she looked pretty into him in return.
Jeremy Sheridan. He knew the name. It was Tessa’s brother.
And hell—didn’t that make it all just perfect? For Lucky’s sister to end up with Tessa’s brother? Sounded like one big happy family. And a guy like that . . . it made sense in other ways, too. He was more what Anna deserved, more the kind of guy she fit with. He would be good for her—way better than Duke could ever be. They’d looked . . . perfect together. Perfect gorgeous woman with the perfect handsome guy. One who didn’t have calluses on his hands or darkness in his heart or a jagged scar on his face.
And even as he pulled into
the driveway, his tires flinging a little gravel, he knew maybe he was blowing this out of proportion. Way out of proportion. But this had been a wake-up call.
You and Anna—it’s easy while you’re up here alone, nobody else around, in your own private little world with her. But in the real world, the two of them together just didn’t make sense.
So it was best to just back away now, while he still could, before the pain of it got any worse.
Anna’s day had turned out far better than expected.
As she drove toward home, the warm night wind in her hair, she smiled thinking of Amy’s big surprise. And also appreciating how full of simple wisdom Amy sometimes was, especially for someone who hadn’t spent much time outside the small town of Destiny.
Wow. The people of Destiny really were enriching her life. There’d been a time when she couldn’t quite have imagined that. Funny how things can change.
She also thought about Jeremy Sheridan. The truth was, he was just her type. And he seemed like a great guy. But the further truth was, she was in love with another man and she hoped that man would be waiting for her with open arms when she reached the big Victorian house that had really begun to feel like home now. Just since Duke? Was sharing the house with someone making it that way? She wasn’t sure and decided not to examine that too closely. She simply looked forward to being with him.
It caught her off guard to see the house completely dark when she pulled in the driveway. She’d expected lights on, a friendly, welcoming glow through the windows. That’s when she realized his motorcycle was no longer parked behind the bushes next to the garage where it had sat unmoved for days, ever since their visit to Lucky’s house and then the Dew Drop. Her stomach sank.
Still, she approached the house with . . . hope. Or confidence. There would be some explanation inside—a note saying where he’d gone. Or . . . maybe he was just asleep. It was early for that—not yet ten—but he’d been working awfully hard lately, so maybe it had caught up with him and he was just tired. And he’d moved the bike somewhere . . . for some reason.
