Samel scowled in frustration, and Vik regarded him mistrustfully, feeling somewhat perplexed. Usually Samel was a very placid man. Vik was unused to seeing such anger and determination on the monk’s face; but then, his brother had this habit of engendering undying devotion in many of those who worked with him closely.
Vik’s apprehension dissolved. He really shouldn’t be surprised that Samel had been afflicted with the same strong attachment as any of the others. After all, Samel had always thought highly of Kehfrey, and he’d been the first to recognise him as someone destined for holiness. All in all, Vik felt sorry for Samel. It wasn’t easy to be so dedicated to such a rampant pest of a junior. It was simpler to let Kehfrey make his decisions and trust him to prevail, whatever the circumstances, but Samel hadn’t seemed to learn that yet.
“Look, Samel. Just approach him calmly. You’ll get more from him with gentleness than you would with a battering ram of disapproval.”
But Samel had dug his fingers deep into the battering ram and couldn’t let it drop. “You know who she is! I know you do! You must tell me!” he insisted.
“And how will that help you? Do you plan on chasing her from the city? Do you think that will make him stop if he decides he must have her?” Vik threw up his hands in aggravation. “He’s Kehfrey!” he cried. “He’s Kehfrey! He will do as he decides! Have you not learned that by now?”
Samel shut his eyes in defeat. “Yes, he’s Kehfrey,” he admitted. “But he is also Brother Herfod. He has sworn an oath of abstinence. He must confess.”
“Then go have him confess!” Vik retorted.
“He’s promised to, but not just now,” Samel admitted.
Vik’s eyes bugged. “Oh, he can be so frustrating.”
Samel nodded in profound agreement. “This illness of his last month? Was it because of her?”
Vik inclined his head in affirmation.
Samel sighed heavily. “He loves her. He loves her truly. That is sad.”
“Why?” Vik asked.
“Because he will have to give her up,” Samel said. “He will have to.” He departed, leaving the Winfellan expatriate alone and troubled.
Vik stared at the door and wondered how much he should interfere. After a moment’s thought, he decided he wouldn’t interfere at all. Kehfrey had to play this one out to the finish, whatever that might be. There was no other way for him. He had loved Nicky from the beginning. He would have to decide for himself what the end of that affair must be.
***
“Wake up, Nicky,” Ugoth whispered. She rolled slowly. He smiled. Perceiving him, her eyes flashed wide.
“Ugoth!” She stared in utter terror.
“Nicky?” he said, taken aback. “Why are you afraid of me?”
“Because of last night!” she cried breathily. “You were frightening!”
“What?” He stared in confusion. After a second, he gave her another soft smile. “You dream, woman. I was trapped in my bed with three children last night.”
“But you were here!” Her frightened expression transformed into an angry scowl. “What game are you playing?” she said, her tone scathing. “Just tell me so I can play it too. I just hate being raped without knowing I’m only pretending.”
“Raped?” Ugoth cried. “I would never rape you.”
“You did last night!”
He shook his head in frustration. “Nicky! You dreamt it! I was with my children. I never left the royal chambers until an hour ago. Come on, woman. You must have taken one glass too many last night.”
Her brow furrowed. “You were in your room all last night?”
“Yes!” He folded her into his arms. “Now, my beauty. Tell me all about this horrible dream.”
“No! My dreams are my own! Especially the erotic ones.”
He grinned. “Oh, really?” He kissed her lovingly, briefly, ignoring her stiffness, ignoring everything until the scent of other-than-Nicky assailed his perception. He pulled back to look at her curiously. “Was Herfod here?”
“Herfod?” If anything, she became stiffer than before.
“Brother Herfod. Kehfrey,” he prodded.
“Well, of course!” she blurted, her expression too frozen.
“Of course?”
“Didn’t I tell you?”
“No!”
“Oh. He wanted to pop in for a visit and he did last night. I suppose I can blame him for the nightmare, then.”
Ugoth frowned in surprise. “Why is that?”
“He’s a monk! You think I want to go to sleep after discussing mortal sins with one?”
“He did not!”
“Well, no. But it made me wonder if there was any such thing.”
He laughed at this, and more importantly for Nicky, the feral light in his eyes warmed to a softer blue. “Well, I have a mortal sin that I’m willing to commit with you,” he said.
She looked askance at him. She wasn’t certain what was happening here, but she felt it wise to go along with him. She didn’t want the Ugoth of this morning to decide to become the Ugoth of last night, and that predatory gleam in his eyes had already been too much of last night.
“What mortal sin might that be?” she said, body relaxing and mouth canting into a teasing smile.
Smiling back, he kissed the corners of her lips and told her. He hoped she would enjoy what they were about to do. He hoped it would help her forgive him for what he was about to say afterward. He hoped it desperately. He loved her so much.
***
Later in the afternoon, having sent a message to the castle informing his wife he’d gone to see his confessor—and incidentally frightening her without knowing he’d done so—Ugoth entered the monastery yard with his guards surrounding him. The royal party dismounted. Silent acolytes led their horses off.
After ordering his men to remain outside on the steps, Ugoth walked into the shadows of the chapel entrance. To the guardian of the west wing, he whispered his plea to enter the dormitories, but the guardian asked him to wait and the panel in the door shut before he could demand why. Normally he just went straight upstairs to Herfod’s cell if he was in it, or the doorkeeper directed him to where his confessor could be found. Ugoth frowned at the panel, wondering what was up.
The door opened after a minute of waiting. Ugoth, pacing worriedly by then, turned to find the abbot walking out of the west wing. Ugoth bent to his knee and did homage with a kiss upon the blue silk stole hanging from Anselm’s shoulders. With a hand on Ugoth’s golden head, Anselm gave him a brief blessing
Ugoth asked for Herfod the second he rose. “Where is he?”
“He is resting,” the abbot said. “You will not be permitted to see him today.”
“What? Why not? Is he ill again?”
The abbot hesitated before answering. “He is, in a way,” he said guardedly.
Ugoth scowled. This was another of those gods accursed secrets. “Was he attacked again? When will you tell me what these occurrences all mean?”
It galled him no end that, after all these years, the abbot still declined to divulge the secret. Worse, Herfod had put him off innumerable times. Each mysterious attack or kidnapping attempt had been followed by argument between them and a friendship almost broken from mutual distrust. They had always managed to settle their disputes over Herfod’s lack of confidence in him, but with the passing of the years, Ugoth had come to hate the secrecy more and to despise Herfod’s ambivalence.
Abbot Anselm knew this well and spoke in a soft, mollifying tone. “No, Majesty. He was not attacked, at least not physically,” he murmured reassuringly. “Please do not be angry. The time is coming when you will be told everything. Only you must let Herfod regain his strength. He will tell you himself.”
“Then let him tell it now!” Ugoth insisted.
“I beg not,” the abbot denied, only he wasn’t begging.
Ugoth scowled and stomped out of the chapel without further words. The abbot sighed and shook his head. Ugoth was a stubbo
rn and proud man, but so was Brother Herfod. Anselm wasn’t at all sure the truth would be easy for either Herfod to tell or Ugoth to hear. As he re-entered the west wing, the elderly abbot began a prayer on both their behalves, beseeching for ease of heart.
Out in the courtyard, Ugoth almost demanded his mount brought to him, but he changed his mind and turned in the direction of the guest quarters, to stomp up Vik’s steps and bang too loudly on his door. Vik opened the entrance shortly after and bowed gracefully.
“I knew it was you,” he said, his Winfellan accent making the words almost sing. “I heard you thumping up the steps. You could have refrained from attacking the door.”
“What happened to Herfod this time?” Ugoth demanded without responding to the teasing.
Vik scowled, pulled Ugoth in and shoved the door shut. “Gods bust it!” he cried. “Do you think they let me know everything? I haven’t been permitted to see him.”
Ugoth stared in surprise. “They locked him away from you too?”
“Yes! All day!” Vik affirmed. “I could just go out and kick some monk ass from here to Winfel.”
Ugoth nodded concurrence. He would have kicked Herfod’s ass if he could, only Herfod would more than likely kick him back and do it better. No matter how hard he tried, despite his greater height and his longer reach, he couldn’t best that small monk in combat. Apparently no one else could either, but this fact didn’t comfort Ugoth all that much. He seriously believed Herfod needed his ass kicked by someone. But it was no use attempting it today. “Well, I suppose I’ll just have to go back to the castle, then.”
“The castle? I thought you did all your business at Nicky’s house?”
“Not anymore,” Ugoth spat, to which Vik lifted an inquiring brow. Ugoth heaved a deep breath and told him. Afterward, Vik sat on his bed and regarded the king thoughtfully. Ugoth stomped over to the armchair and slumped into it.
“The cold bitch! She actually said she thought I loved her.”
“Well,” Vik responded, “that’s to be expected, I suppose. You are her husband. She bore you five children. She was bound to feel hurt by this.”
Ugoth settled his head on the chair back and presented his blue glare to the ceiling. “I know. That’s the worst of it. I should feel some affection for her, but I don’t. I never have. I never have for any woman but Nicky.”
“For none of them?” Vik asked.
“Them? Do you mean the whores I’ve taken to bed from time to time?” Ugoth shook his head. “No. Not even them. I just used them to relieve the need. I used Eshaia for the same, only she gave me heirs for my effort.”
“But you don’t feel like that for Nicky?” Vik pressed.
“No,” Ugoth said, “I don’t. I feel different. I feel like she has everything I need. Like she has something no other woman ever had.”
“You love her very much, don’t you?”
“Yes,” he said. “I almost killed Eshaia for demanding that I give her up. Little Uthel saved his mother’s life by waking up and interrupting me.” He shut his eyes on the guilt.
Vik carefully hid his growing concern. “Why Nicky? Why her?”
“I don’t know. It’s odd. She’s not like other women. She doesn’t bend to a man’s will like the rest. She’s like an equal.” Ugoth opened his eyes and gazed at Vik without really seeing him. Most of his vision rested in his memory of the woman he adored. “I feel as if she has something I need. As if ….” He stopped in frustration. He couldn’t begin to describe the profound sensation Nicky had drawn out of him. He felt as if having her would lead him to something important. But wasn’t that what love was? Something important?
Oddly, he felt as if there was something more to follow, something yet more important.
“Then you will continue to see her, of course,” Vik said.
“Of course,” the king answered. His mind focused on Vik. “This is what I came to see Herfod about. To confess, but to also get advice. I don’t know what to do about Eshaia. She’s always listened to him. I thought I’d get him to talk to her.”
“Isn’t that a bit unfair? Making a monk force a wife to permit a mistress? Think again, Majesty.”
Ugoth grimaced at the truth of it. “I know. I’m so damned desperate to keep her I would do almost anything.”
“Then keep her! But leave Kehfrey out of it. Other than the confession, of course.”
Ugoth heaved a despondent breath. “I wish I knew if he were all right.”
Vik nodded agreement. So did he.
***
Vik managed to see his brother just before supper that evening. He accosted Herfod on the way into the refectory, pulling him from the doorway and hauling him down the corridor, at the same time warning off with an imperious gesture the elderly monk charged with escorting the young man. Vik would speak to his brother alone and he would brook no interference. Permitted only a scant eight feet of privacy, he pushed Herfod up against a wall and pressed in close to prevent being overheard.
“What happened?” he said, hissing into his brother’s ear.
“I fell asleep and woke up too late,” Herfod whispered back.
“Then you might as well confess and end it. This isn’t wise. Ugoth will kill you for it. He’s worse than Wilf was.”
“I know that,” Herfod retorted.
“Then you must be mad!” Vik cried. “You risk his friendship over her. You risk both your lives!”
Herfod’s response was glum. “Relax, big brother. I have no choice but to stop now. They’ll watch like hawks from now on.” His gaze darted to the monk who stood at a respectful distance. The old man’s regard was vigilant and astute; he would relate to Samel everything he had witnessed.
Vik looked down at Herfod sadly. “I’ll take a message to her for you,” he offered. “I’ll tell her what happened. I’ll tell her it’s over.”
Herfod consented with a nod that became a sad lowering of the head. “And tell her that the seed took,” he said.
Vik grabbed his arm. “Seed? Whose seed?”
“Ugoth’s!” Herfod said impatiently. “I watched it done.” He jerked his arm free and walked away, followed diligently by the old cleric. Vik didn’t go after him. He wasn’t feeling very hungry now. He decided he had best tell Nicky immediately. The sooner she knew it was over, the better off they would all be.
***
“Don’t cry, Nicky!” Vik pleaded. “Please! I warned you to stay away from him.”
“It was Ugoth’s fault!” she said, sobbing on her pillow. “He brought us together! He left us alone in the kitchen!”
“In the kitchen?” Vik said in surprise. “I don’t suppose there were any pies involved?”
“Pies?” she asked. Startled, she lifted her tearful face off the pillow. “What has that to do with it?”
Vik smiled softly. “I once tried to explain to Kehfrey why love was such a different thing for each person. I used preferences for food as an example.”
“Let me guess,” Nicky responded. “He said sex was like pie?”
Vik nodded affirmation. “He was only seven years old.”
She smiled despite her upset. Kehfrey was simply a wonder. “He stole the pie I baked for Ugoth,” she told Vik.
“He stole more than the pie, Nicky.”
Her lips quivered with upset again. “If only he hadn’t fallen asleep!” she cried.
“It’s just as well he did,” Vik retorted. “Ugoth would kill you both. You know that. He’s a hundred times more possessive than Wilf was. What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking of the baby I saw!” she shouted.
“Oh, yes,” Vik remembered. “Kehfrey said to tell you the seed took.”
“What?” Nicky sat up alertly. “The seed took?” She smiled in delight. Her hands came to rest on her abdomen.
“Yes. He said to give you that message,” Vik confirmed. “He said it was Ugoth’s.” His regard frosted over with condemnation. “But if the child comes out with crimson ha
ir, the three of you will pay with your lives.”
“Of course, it’s Ugoth’s!” she said hotly. “Kehfrey’s seed didn’t go there last night.” Her head turned away with a stubborn, unapologetic tilt. “I put him somewhere else.”
Vik smiled despite his reproving anger. “Did you? Well, I suppose that’s just lucky, then.”
“Luck had nothing to do with it! I saw the baby and that was the one I was going to get. The vision didn’t change when I started up with Kehfrey. I checked.” She flounced off the bed and to her dressing table, where she picked up a bottle of amber liquid, to eye it almost guiltily. “But I would have taken Kehfrey’s child over his,” she said sadly. “I would have taken it. I would have loved having it more than anything.”
Looking at her sorrowful, proud face, Vik knew it for truth. “And what would you have done? Run with it? Run from its father as well?”
Her head lowered in shame. “Yes,” she whispered. “Because he needs to be here. He needs to be a monk of Saint Turamen.”
Vik nodded. “Leave him alone, Nicky. Don’t try to see him. Don’t try to get a message to him.” He tilted her head up and looked into her eyes sternly. “Don’t!” he repeated firmly.
She jerked her chin out of his fingers. “I’ll do my best.”
“You risk both your lives if you fail,” he said. “I won’t forgive you again. If I must, I will take you from Durgven myself.” He left the chamber.
She glared at his tall straight back and, when the door shut, stomped her foot angrily. Her hands lit upon her abdomen. “I don’t need to stay here in any case. I’ve gotten what I came here for.”
She faced her bed, thinking rapidly. She had enough expensive gifts from Ugoth to live comfortably somewhere distant from Durgven. He would look for her, of course, but she had places to hide, the elven paths being one of them. He had no idea what she was, none at all. Elven women could not be trapped. At least, not by any human man. Nodding decisively, she walked to her wardrobe, intending to dress and be off.
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