Andi smiled as she took a sip of her pecan pie shake. She’d given me a taste earlier, and it was one of the best things I’d ever tasted. I almost wanted to trade her for it, but I was a peanut butter addict.
“None of your friends are married, because you’re a baby,” Andi said playfully.
“I’m not that much younger than you,” I told her, not sure if I should feel offended that she kept honing in on our age difference. It was just four years, but maybe in her world that was a lot. I didn’t think so.
“You’re actually more mature than I expected,” she said, surprising me with the compliment. “But I guess you have to be with what you do.”
I nodded. “Most of the time, yes. I’m also kind of the big brother of the group, keeping everyone in line, even though I’m not the oldest. It’s always been in my nature to keep things in order and make sure everyone else behaves.”
“Who is the oldest?” she asked thoughtfully, and I realized it was the first question she’d asked all day about Westside.
It was literally like she didn’t care that I was in the band, and even though that should have offended me, it didn’t, because she wasn’t belittling what I did. She just wasn’t making it a big deal. It was a facet of my life, just like her job was, and we hadn’t talked about that much either.
She’d told me earlier as we’d walked around that she worked in public relations, for a firm that mostly supported technology and pharmaceutical companies, which she said wasn’t very exciting. I could imagine she didn’t have very many scandals to deal with on a daily basis unless someone screwed up a drug or a software release. It wasn’t like our PR team who had to handle rumors and fake relationships and covering up things that they didn’t want the public to know about. I knew that was a full-time job for them that never really stopped.
But instead of talking about work, we’d talked about other things, the conversation really never ceasing as we’d wandered through museums, down Fifth Avenue, and past the Empire State Building – although we didn’t get to go to the top since it was too crowded and Chris and Bruce didn’t want to deal with a mob. But the day had been fun, and work hadn’t really come up.
“Phillip is the oldest. He’s twenty-three. Van will be twenty-two next month, and Dillon and I are only a month apart. We turned twenty-one last summer.”
“Was it weird for you to meet the three of them, sight unseen, and have to sing and perform together?”
“Not really. I mean, Dillon has been my best friend since we were kids, and we sort of auditioned together. We have chemistry, I guess you could say, and that showed on-stage. Phillip and Van were cool from the start. We’d performed in smaller groups together until we all were chosen to be in the band, so we weren’t strangers. And after we got into Westside, the label sent us down to Cabo for a long weekend to bond and get to know each other and just have fun. We gelled really well from the start, so recording and performing together came really naturally.”
“That’s so cool. I mean, to get to do what you love and to do it with your best friends. I’m jealous.”
I smiled. “I’m jealous of your life, Andi.”
She laughed. “Yeah, right. Wait until you see my apartment before you say that. It’s tragic.”
Was she inviting me back to her apartment? A small part of me hoped she was. Although our time together was a long way from being over, I didn’t want it to end.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I said, playing it cool.
“Yeah, it’s a palace,” she said sarcastically. “So you and Dillon have really known each other since you were kids?”
“We grew up on the same block. He’s been my best friend since as far back as I can remember, and my brother Preston is dating his sister, Callie. They have a new baby, Parker, so Dillon and I got to be uncles together.”
I couldn’t help the smile on my face when I thought about my nephew. He was cute as hell from what I’d seen in pictures, and I’d get to meet him soon.
“You smile a lot when you talk about Dillon,” Andi said softly.
I could see a question burning behind her eyes, and I thought back to how many times I’d brought Dillon up throughout the course of the day. It had been a lot, but that was normal, I supposed. But I had a feeling I knew what Andi was thinking, and if I was right, I wasn’t doing a very good job of subtly flirting with her like I thought I’d been.
“Dillon’s my best friend,” I told her with just a hint of cautiousness in my tone as I tried to feel out where she was going with this conversation. Had she heard the rumors? Had Tory said something to her? Did Andi believe the rumors?
“And you said he has a girlfriend, right?”
“He does. They’ve been together for years.”
She nodded. “Do people really think you’re with him? I mean, I saw you guys together, and you’re close for sure. I can see that you love him, but I never really picked up on the whole gay vibe.”
Relief swept through me as she revealed what she was thinking. I was glad she didn’t actually think I was gay. It had never bothered me before when people thought that. I’d always laughed it off, but for some reason, if Andi had that impression, it would have bugged me.
“Neither one of us is gay,” I assured her and smiled at her when I saw that she regretted bringing up the topic. “And yes, some of our fans have fallen in love with the idea that Dillon and I are secretly a couple, but it’s not true. It never has been, but the rumor has been there from the beginning, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“So you’re just okay with people thinking you’re something you’re not?” she asked incredulously.
I shrugged. “I have to be. With what I do, every single time I say something in an interview or I’m photographed or I put a post on Twitter or Instagram, it’s analyzed and interpreted, and people make assumptions. Sometimes they’re true, and sometimes they’re not.”
Andi looked surprised to hear me say that. “But doesn’t it bother you that people think things about you that are false?”
“I can’t control what they think,” I told her. “And there’s little to nothing I can do about changing their minds, so I let them think what they want. It doesn’t really hurt anything.”
“Okay, I get that, but don’t you think your sexuality is something people should be clear about? Isn’t it something you figure you should set straight?”
I shrugged. “Not really. I know who I am, so what other people think doesn’t matter. In truth, I’ve been asked my whole life. I’ve sort of gotten used to it.”
“Your whole life?”
I grinned at Andi. “I grew up in a rough neighborhood in Detroit, and I wasn’t Eminem. I was involved in theater and took vocal and guitar lessons. I was called gay a lot, but I wasn’t going to stop doing what I loved just to appease the masses. So I got over it, and then I learned to fight back so I wouldn’t get my ass kicked on a regular basis. I was the ‘gay’ guy who was a trained fighter. No one was going to touch me.”
“Are you sure you’re only twenty-one?” she asked me then, making me laugh.
“Age is a just number, Andi. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yeah, but you’re so enlightened.”
I laughed “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“You should.”
“I will. You ready to go?” I asked her, seeing that her milkshake was almost gone. “There are many more things that I have yet to see in this fair city, and we have dinner reservations at six.”
I saw something pass across Andi’s face as I said that, and I was fearful that I knew what it was. It was something I didn’t want to think about, so I didn’t. I pushed it down as I stood from the booth and indicated to Chris and Bruce that we were ready to go.
“Where to?” Andi asked me as we emerged into the cool and cloudy afternoon. I slid my sunglasses on even though I didn’t need them.
“Central Park,” I said immediately, because I’d only ever seen it in pass
ing or from above. I figured it was time I saw it for real.
“Coming right up,” she said as we started to walk. Then she leaned toward me, close enough that I could smell her perfume that had been teasing me all day. “Is it weird to have them trailing behind us?”
I glanced back at Chris and Bruce who were watching the area around us as we unassumingly walked down the street, blending in with the masses. It just might have been my favorite thing about New York. No one seemed to care who I was. No one had noticed me, and it had been so long since that had happened. It was completely freeing.
“Well, usually it’s just Chris who trails me, but I figured we’d bring Bruce with us so Chris wouldn’t be so lonely,” I joked.
Andi smiled, and I ate it up.
“I’ve gotten used to it, though,” I continued. “We’ve got a great team of security guys since none of us can really go anywhere alone anymore. They’ve saved our asses from mobs more times than I can count, so we keep them around.”
“Mobs? Really?”
“Screaming teenage girls can be seriously dangerous,” I said playfully, although I was only half-joking. I’d lost sleeves of t-shirts before, and Dillon even lost a shoe one time. When fans want a piece of us, they never mess around.
“I’m not sure I believe that,” Andi said, checking her hip against mine.
I loved that she was so playful with me. We barely knew each other, but I felt right at home with her, and I had a feeling she felt the same way. I liked that way more than I should for a guy who was leaving in the morning. I just hadn’t met a girl like her, that I connected with and who I could talk to, in – well, ever. I sort of hated that I had to leave.
“Why don’t you believe me?” I asked her as we approached the entrance to the park.
“Because not one person has accosted us all day. Nor has anyone come up for an autograph or a picture. I’m honestly starting to wonder if you’re as famous as you think you are.”
I laughed out loud as she said that. “Oh, you have no idea how bad it can get. Don’t you remember last night when we drove past the hotel? The girls and the signs? It’s just that no one has figured out that I’m here. All it’ll take is one Tweet, and I could be surrounded.”
Andi looked grim as she appraised me. “So I shouldn’t have put on Facebook that I was hanging out with you today?”
My face went white as she said that, suddenly fearful that our fairly perfect day was going to be blown to bits. “Did you?”
She laughed. “Of course not! I’m pretty sure no one would believe me anyway, and a part of me just wanted to keep today between us.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, not daring to get my hopes up.
She’d been adamant the night before that she wasn’t looking for more, but maybe I was changing her mind. Then again, how could I even think that? She lived in New York, and I lived in L.A. – and with everything about our lives, we basically lived in different worlds. Was I just so enamored with her, and the normalcy of her life, and the way she was so unaffected by who I was that I was making this into something more than it was, that it could ever be?
I might have been, and because of that, I decided to stop. Andi was a cool girl, and I was having fun with her, but she was going home to Atlanta the next day, and I was heading to Detroit. That would be it, and I needed to accept it.
“Things have been fairly shitty for me the past few weeks,” Andi explained, letting me know that her desire to not tell anyone that she was with me had nothing to do with me. “I just wanted one day where I could let go and not think about anything. Touring the city with you, laughing and having fun, not thinking about anything real, it’s been good – really good.”
Despite the fact that my ego was slightly bruised, I smiled at her. “I’m glad I could help. Now tell me, what’s the coolest thing about this park?”
She laughed. “Everything.”
I started to ask her to pick something blindly for us to see, but my phone rang before I could get the words out, pulling us out of the moment. I was going to ignore it, but it was my agent.
I looked at Andi regretfully. “Do you mind if I get this?”
She shook her head. “Not at all. Go ahead.”
“Cool. Thanks,” I said as I stepped away.
“Hey Gus,” I said as I answered.
“Hey Cam. How’s New York?”
“It’s great. I’m doing some sightseeing. Great city. What can I do for you?”
He chuckled. “Well, since you asked, I just got a call from the producers of the show Sing Your Heart Out. One of their hosts dropped out at the last minute, and they wanted to see if you or one of the guys was interested in filling in for the season. Since I know you’ll be in L.A. during the break, I figured you were the best choice. What do you say?”
“Oh, wow. Okay. So, what does that mean?”
“Well, shooting starts a week from tomorrow. You’ll need to be in L.A. for eight weeks. You’ll pretty much weigh in on what you think of the contestants when they perform, you’ll mentor a few of them, and Westside will perform twice during the season. It airs in March.”
Well, shit. That seemed like exactly what I’d need to fill my days. And the gig sounded cool. I’d always had a soft spot for aspiring musicians since I’d been one. I was glad I’d never had to audition on live TV, but I respected those who had the courage to do it.
“Sounds great, Gus. I think I’m in. Will you send over the details?”
“Sure thing. I want to look over the contract, but it sounds like a sweet deal. Not a lot of work, and they’re willing to pay you well.”
“Good deal. If it checks out with you, I’ll do it.”
“Thanks Cam. I appreciate it. Look for an email to come through from me later today.”
“Will do. Talk to you soon.”
Andi looked at me expectantly when I walked back over to her with a smile on my face.
“Good news?” she asked.
“Very good news. I just got asked to be a host on Sing Your Heart Out. It’ll solve my boredom problems since shooting starts in a week.”
“Very cool,” she said with a smile. “Congratulations.”
“Yeah, I’m kind of excited. But I’m more excited about this park,” I said, wanting her to know my full attention was on her. “What should we see first?”
Andi smiled. “I actually have just the place.”
Chapter Seven
Andi
“Thank you for tonight,” I told Cam as we pulled up to my apartment building.
A part of me was sad to realize that our day together was ending. I’d had more fun with him than I’d had in too long. Even when I’d been falling in love with David, I’d put so much pressure on myself that I hadn’t been able to really enjoy our time. I’d spent so many days picturing us down the road, married and living the perfect life that I thought came with him, so I didn’t let myself ever be in the moment.
With Cam, I had only been thinking about today, about the present, and because of that, I’d had so much fun. He was a great guy, and so sweet. Our conversations never lulled, and he smiled so much that I genuinely believed he was a happy person. I wished I could find that sort of contentment in my life, but I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to start.
For him, though, his life was all figured out. He had a career he loved, he got to spend most of his days with his best friends, and he was enlightened beyond his years about how he wanted to live his life. I found that fascinating, because I’d never met another guy his age – or even years older – who was as settled in his thought process.
“I had a great time with you, Andi,” Cam said, smiling at me like he had been all night. “Thank you for coming to the theatre with me, and thank you for showing me the city – especially when you were humoring all my novice New York questions. I feel like I might be an expert after today.”
I smiled. “Not hardly. You haven’t done nearly enough to be considered an expert. We didn’t ev
en ride the subway.”
He snapped his fingers as if remembering something he’d forgotten. “That was what I wanted to do today. Darn. Well, I’ll just have to come back another time and try that.”
I laughed. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Trust me. It’s crowded, and it kind of smells.”
“I’m sure it’s not great, but I still want to do it. If I were to come back, would you show me around again? Continue the tour? Take me on the subway?”
I smiled. “I’d be happy to. Let me know when you’ll be here next, and I’m all yours.”
He grinned at me. “It’s a date – a platonic date, of course.”
“Of course,” I said as I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Thank you again. Safe travels home.”
“You too,” he said, and I opened the door to step out.
“Bye Chris,” I called over my shoulder. “It was great to meet you.”
“Take care, Andi,” he said, even though we really didn’t know each other all that well. He was a nice guy, and what I knew of him, I liked.
“Oh no,” I blurted out when I turned around, not exactly thinking.
“What’s wrong?” Cam asked quickly.
My heart started wildly beating as I noticed the figure sitting on our small front stoop, his head in his hands. David.
What was he doing there?
“Andi, what’s wrong?” Cam asked again.
“It’s just my ex,” I said, not looking at him as David lifted his head and realized I was standing there. His shoulders slumped as we made eye contact, and he stood. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Cam asked.
“Yes. I am,” I said, squaring my shoulders as I stepped out of the car. I turned to face Cam again and saw the worried look on his face. “I’m fine. He’s harmless – just a jerk in the larger sense of the word.”
“Do you need me to stay?”
I shook my head. “Nope. I’m good.”
The smiled on his face felt forced, but I knew it was because he didn’t know David. I wasn’t worried about him hurting me – at least not in the physical sense. My heart was another story.
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