Travis was pointing to a pair of gold hoop earrings, when I positioned myself on the opposite side of the rack. If I waited a few more seconds, he'd be bound to see me. The moment he gave the rack a little spin, we'd be staring right into each other's eyes! "I really like the silver hoops better," Sara was saying. I remember thinking what a wispy little-girl voice she had, and then it happened. The rack shifted and Travis and I were face-to-face. The moment of truth at last! I gave him a casual smile, and to my amazement, he grinned back at me. "Hi, Dawn," he said in a friendly way. He didn't sound the least bit embarrassed! I was baffled, but I tried to be cool.
"Hi, Travis. I guess this is one of your favorite spots." I figured he deserved a little dig. After all, he had taken me to the Merry-Go-Round not too long ago, and now he was back in the same spot (with another girl).
He laughed, totally missing the point. "It sure looks that way, doesn't it?" Sara, who had been paying no attention to the conversation, suddenly held up a pair of heavy gold hoop earrings.
"What do you think, Travis?" she asked, ignoring me. "Are these too big?" I couldn't resist. "Yes, definitely too big. They look like they should be holding up a shower curtain." Sara frowned and gave Travis a "who-is-this-person?" look, and he introduced us.
"Dawn is from California, too," he added.
"Really?" Sara gave me a cool smile. "Oh, now I remember," she said, as if a light bulb had switched on inside her head. "Dawn Schafer . . . the little girl you told me about." Little girl? I was steaming. What nerve. I needed a really stinging comeback, but my mind was a blank. And the next words out of Sara's mouth were even worse. "I'm sure you've turned her into a real beauty, Travis," she murmured.
That did it! "I was already a beauty," I said hotly. I suppose it was a very conceited thing to say, but I didn't care.
Sara and Travis exchanged an amused look. I have never been so embarrassed in my life, and I knew I was making a fool out of myself. The only thing to do was get out of there - fast.
"I have to get home," I muttered.
"Nice to have met you," Sara said. She looked like she was going to burst out laughing the minute my back was turned.
"See you around." Travis grinned at me as if nothing had changed. How could he be so casual when my whole world had turned upside down?
I practically ran all the way home. I felt hurt, angry, upset, and very foolish. I didn't say two words during dinner and bounded upstairs to my room the minute the dishes were done.
"You're pretty quiet," Mary Anne said. She had come into my room so softly, I hadn't heard her. I was sprawled on my bed, math book in hand, but my mind was on Travis and Sara.
"I'm thinking," I told her. I looked at her and then looked away.
She sat down at my desk, watching me. "Did you ever see My Fair Lady?" she asked. "You know, the movie based on the play Pygmalion?" What was she getting at? I sat up in bed, scrunching a pillow behind my head. "I saw it a long time ago. We rented it once." Mary Anne looked pleased. "Then I guess you remember the story. You know how proper Professor Higgins turns Eliza Doolittle, the Cockney girl, into his 'fair lady'?" "Sure. He changed everything about her, the way she walked and talked and even the way she dressed. He wanted to make her into a real lady." Mary Anne stared at me. "Well," she said slowly, "1 never liked that." I nodded. "Me, neither. Eliza should have been allowed to be herself." "Exactly." We were both very quiet, and then it hit me. "I get it," I said. "You're talking about Travis and me." Mary Anne didn't answer, and I thought about it a little more. "He wanted to change me and make me into someone else." I hesitated. "But why did he choose me? There were dozens of girls he could have picked." "Who knows? I think he really liked you at first. Or maybe he was interested because you were from California." I sighed. Everything was falling into place. Travis had never liked me as much as I had liked him. I was simply a "project" for him. I felt a little better, having figured out what was going on, but now I had another problem. What should I do next?
Mary Anne must have read my mind. "I think you should confront him," she said. "Tell him exactly what you think." "I think so, too. It won't be easy. That's what I thought I was going to do today. But I know it's the right thing to do." I smiled at her. "You've been a big help, Mary Anne." "I'm glad." She hugged me and headed toward the door. "Oh, and Dawn, there's one more thing you need to do." "What's that?" She grinned. "Be sure you read the club notebook." Chapter 14.
Now that I had made up my mind what to do, I didn't stop to think twice. I didn't make elaborate plans to follow Travis, or think about what I was going to say to him. I just reached for the phone, hoping that the right words would come to me. (Sometimes when you have to do something really hard, it's better not to plan too much.) "Dawn, how are you?" exclaimed Travis when he picked up the phone.
He acted like nothing was wrong! His voice was so warm and friendly, I almost lost my cool, but I knew I had to be strong.
"I'm fine," I told him. "In fact, I've always been fine, but it took me awhile to figure that out." "Huh?" I took a deep breath. "You don't get it, do you?" I rushed on. "Well, maybe I can explain it to you." "Okay, shoot." A tiny note of doubt crept into his voice.
I braced myself for the toughest part of all. "You really hurt me, Travis." "I hurt you?" He sounded incredulous.
"Yes, you did. You told me how to dress, how to fix my hair, how to act. You tried to make me into something I'm not." There was a long pause. "You're right. I don't get it," he said finally. "How could something like that hurt you? You're a great-looking girl, Dawn. I just figured you could use a few suggestions on how to dress and do your hair." "It was more than a few, but anyway, that's not the point. You can't imagine what a big effect you had on me. I took everything you said to heart." I hesitated, twisting the phone cord around my fingers. "Maybe you can't understand this, Travis, but I practically ran in circles trying to please you. I tried so hard to be everything you wanted me to be." It's funny, but even as I said the words, I realized that the harder I tried, the more hopeless things had become. I knew now that I could never be what Travis wanted (and that I didn't want to be).
Travis gave a little laugh. "Dawn, I really think you're making too much of this. You know, if we could just get together and talk this over, I .think you'd see things my way." "I don't think so," I said quietly.
"You mean you don't want to see me just because I told you to wear combs in your hair? I can't believe it." "It's a lot more than that, Travis. Look, I'll give you the perfect example. Remember when you wanted me to get that third hole punched in my ear? I actually felt guilty because I didn't want to go along with it. I'm just glad I had the brains not to listen to you." "Dawn, you're making a big deal out of nothing," Travis sputtered. Now he was beginning to sound really uncomfortable.
"No, it's true. You've been trying to make me over ever since the day you met me," I said, cutting him off. "You wanted to change everything about me. I just didn't see it in the beginning." "Dawn, this is crazy." "It's not crazy at all," I said smoothly. "I've had time to think about it, and I've talked things over with Mary Anne. You never liked me for myself, just for what you could make me into. It all makes sense now." "Look, I never wanted to hurt you, Dawn - " "Maybe not, but that's what happened. Besides everything else, you led me on. You let me think I was special to you, but you were seeing Sara at the same-time." I felt very calm. "Anyway, I think we should just say goodbye now." "Say good-bye? Are you serious?" "Very serious," I said softly. "That's why I called you tonight, Travis. To say good-bye, and to say that I hope you find the perfect girl for you. She's probably out there somewhere, Travis, but I'm not her. Maybe it's Sara." Travis started to say something, but I didn't give him a chance. I hung up the receiver very gently and stared out the window for a few minutes.
It was over. And I knew I had done the right thing.
The reaction at the next BSC meeting was just what I had hoped for.
"Dawn! I can't believe you did it. I'm so proud of you!" Claudia was
beaming. "He really got what was corning to him." "Travis must have been furious," Stacey chimed in. "1 wish I could have been there." "I'm just happy you're rid of him," Mary Anne said. "You finally caught on." "It took a little help from my friends," I added. "For awhile, I thought there was something wrong with me." "Ha! That's probably what he wanted you to think," Kristy said. She tilted her visor back. "I had no idea Travis was such a jerk. He hangs around with my brothers all the time." Mary Anne looked up from the notebook. "Well, he's probably okay when he's with guys because he's not trying to make them over." Kristy nodded. "I guess you're right. The main thing is that he's out of Dawn's life for good - "I started to giggle, and Kristy stopped in mid-sentence. "What's so funny?" "I just thought of something I should have said. I should have told Travis to have his hair trimmed and to get rid of those stone-washed jeans. He could use a few fashion tips himself!" "You would have been wasting your breath," Stacey said, examining her nail polish. "He's so conceited, he probably thinks he's perfect." I was struggling with a math problem later that night when Mary Anne came into my room. She looked a little embarrassed, and I wondered why.
"How's it going?" She glanced at my math book, but I knew she had something else on her mind.
"Okay." I closed the book and spun around in my seat. "I can take a break if you want to talk." "Well . . . sure," Mary Anne said, settling herself on the bed. I waited while she fumbled in her pocket for a white envelope. "I ... just wanted to tell you again that I'm really proud of the way you handled Travis." I smiled at her. "I'm glad. But I bet that isn't why you came in here." Mary Anne flushed. "Well, I- Okay, I'll be honest with you. I've got something for you." She glanced at the envelope but drew back when I reached for it. "No, wait! Before you read it, I want to explain something." From the look on Mary Anne's face, I knew it must be something important. And I knew there was no way I could rush Mary Anne. She would tell me in her own good time.
"Do you remember when I told you about Lewis?" "Lewis?" I drew a blank, and then it hit me. "Oh, yeah. Logan's cousin. What about him?" "Well, guess what? His visit to Stoneybrook is all planned!" "Really?" I know Mary Anne expected me to look thrilled, but I just couldn't. My hand edged back to the math book. I had about a million problems to work on, and Mary Anne was all set for a long conversation about some guy I didn't even know! "Don't you get it?" she said finally. "Lewis wants to meet you." "That's crazy," I said, sharpening a new pencil. "He doesn't even know me." Mary Anne cleared her throat. "That's not exactly true. He, um, knows a little bit about you." "How could he?" I was flipping through the book, trying to find my place when I paused and said, "Mary Anne, what have you done?" She was blushing all the way up to her hair roots. "Now don't get mad, Dawn, but Logan and I told Lewis a few things about you. And I sent him your picture." "What?!" "Please don't get upset. If you just think about it, you'll realize it was a great idea. Logan says Lewis is a really neat guy, and I think he's just what you need now." She was still clutching the white envelope and she handed it to me.
"It's a letter addressed to me," I said, turning it over. "Mary Anne, what's going on?" "It's from Lewis. Isn't that great? He must have liked your picture and the things Logan and I told him, so he decided to write to you. I said he was a great guy." "Terrific," I muttered, tearing open the envelope. I scanned the first few lines and relaxed a little. Lewis said he had heard a lot about me, and he wanted to meet me. He also said I was very pretty and that we had a lot in common. He didn't sound so bad, but I just wasn't interested in meeting another boy at the moment. Why couldn't Mary Anne figure that out?
"Well?" Mary Anne said. She stood next to me, trying to read over my shoulder. "What do you think?" I shrugged. "He seems like a pretty nice guy." A picture of a boy with dark brown hair and a great smile fell out of the envelope. "And he's even good-looking." "Definitely. And he's a lot of fun, too. That's why Logan and I want this to work out." She looked at me very seriously. "You'll see him when he visits, won't you? Please, Dawn." 1 looked at the picture again. I didn't feel any sparks the way I had with Travis, but Lewis did seem nice. Still, the timing was wrong, all wrong.
"Well?" Mary Anne said impatiently. "Will you see him or won't you?" 1 sighed. "I don't know." "Dawn, puh-leeze.'" "Okay, okay. If Lewis wants to take me out when he comes to Stoneybrook, I'll go. I guess." "Good!" said Mary Anne. "That's all I wanted to hear." Chapter 15.
Later, when I was alone in my room, I read Lewis's letter again. (Okay, I'll tell you the truth. I read it three more times.) I'm not sure exactly what I was looking for, but I wondered if Lewis was too good to be true. He seemed funny, smart, not at all stuck-up, and nice. I'll show you what I mean. He started out by describing himself. (We had to do this once in English class, and it was the toughest assignment I've ever had.) Did I write him back? Yes. But I took my time, and I decided to be very casual.
I read my letter to Lewis twice before sealing the envelope. I wondered if I could have made it more interesting, decided that I couldn't, and finally dropped it in the mailbox. Imagine how surprised I was when I got a letter back four days later! Lewis must have written the minute he received my letter.
It sounded like Lewis was planning to spend a lot of time with me when he visited Logan. Would it be just the two of us, or would we be doing things with Logan and Mary Anne? I decided I didn't really want to see him alone. That would be too much like a "date." But if he wanted to be friends, that would be okay.
In return, Lewis sent me a postcard of Louisville, Kentucky. The picture was of a beautiful boat called The Belle of Louisville, and this was the message: He was looking forward to coming to Stoneybrook. He was looking forward to seeing me. I read the postcard at least half a dozen times and put it in my notebook.
Mary Anne teased me just a little that night when I tucked the postcard into the mirror over my dresser.
"So you're changing your mind a little about Lewis?" "He sounds . . . interesting," I said with a smile.
"Just interesting?" "Okay, he sounds pretty terrific." I paused. "But I don't want to get my hopes up too much. Remember how crazy I was over Travis?" "Lewis is different," Mary Anne said firmly. "Can't you tell from his letters?" I shrugged. "He seems different. He seems nice. And I don't think he wants to change me. We'll probably like each other. Just as friends," I added quickly.
"That's what I'm hoping for." Mary Anne sighed happily and flopped onto my bed. "I want you and Lewis to be great friends. Or maybe even something more," she said with a twinkle in her eye.
"Just friends will be fine." Mary Anne giggled. "Only time will tell." About the Author ANN M. MARTIN did a lot of baby-sitting when she was growing up in Princeton, New Jersey. Now her favorite baby-sitting charge is her cat, Mouse, who lives with her in her Manhattan apartment.
Ann Martin's Apple Paperbacks include Yours Turly, Shirley; Ten Kids, No Pets; With You and Without You; Bummer Summer; and all the other books in the Baby-sitters Club series.
She is a former editor of books for children, and was graduated from Smith College. She likes ice cream, the beach, and I Love Lucy; and she hates to cook.
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BSC037 - Dawn and the Older Boy
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Baby-Sitters Club 037 Page 7
