by Elena Armas
I remembered perfectly how everyone had first gaped at the handsome and stern new addition and then silently nodded in appreciation and awe. Me included at first. I’d never admit it, but back then, I had gotten as far as thinking I could let that deep voice of his lure me to sleep every night, and I’d be content for the rest of my days.
“So, yeah, every single one of my colleagues was pretty much enraptured. Not me though. I wasn’t fooled that easily. All throughout Jeff’s and Aaron’s speeches, I kept thinking about how nervous he must have been. I kept noticing his shoulders inching higher and his gaze growing … unsure. As if he were holding himself from bolting out that door. So, I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t as standoffish as he looked, standing there. He couldn’t be. It was just nerves. One couldn’t possibly give off that vibe on purpose. It was his first day, and that was some intimidating shit. I thought he just needed a little push in the right direction. A little friendly welcome to fall into place.”
And then I proceeded to do a very dumb and impulsive thing. Just how I always managed to do. “And I couldn’t have been any more wrong.” I chuckled bitterly. “Maybe Aaron wasn’t nervous—I wouldn’t know. But he didn’t need any kind of push. He was not looking for friends. And he certainly was aware of what impression he was making.” I returned back to the present in that moment, and I was greeted by three pairs of confused eyes. My throat dried out. “I mean, that obviously changed. Eventually,” I added quickly in an unfortunately unconvincing way. “Because we are super in love, so yay!” Throwing my arms in the air, I cheered, trying my best to get the control back, but the gesture landed nowhere near where I’d wanted it to.
Isabel’s face fell slightly, and right before her frown could fully form, Aaron surprised me by coming to my rescue.
“Catalina isn’t wrong. That day, I was a little nervous,” he confessed, and my head swirled in his direction.
Aaron’s gaze was on my sister, which was good because we were in desperate need of some damage control that required all his attention and charm. But also because I didn’t want him to see my expression as I watched him. That trip down memory lane had left me a little too raw for hiding how I really felt about that day.
“I didn’t have any plans or hopes of making friends, not during that first meeting and not any day after,” he continued.
Well, that wasn’t a shock to me, not after almost two years of enduring the consequences of that position.
“And I was plenty obvious about it. The last thing I wanted was someone getting the wrong idea and thinking I was there for anything that wasn’t doing the best job I could. And in my book, that is not compatible with telling jokes and exchanging family tales. That day though, Lina showed up in my office. A little after five p.m.” He looked down at his hands, and his eyelids sheltered the blue in his eyes for just a heartbeat.
For a reason I couldn’t explain, my heart raced in my chest at the memory. Embarrassment. It had to be the physical reaction to reliving that embarrassing moment through Aaron’s words.
“Her cheeks were flushed, and there were some snowflakes still clinging to her hair and coat. She was carrying a gift bag with a ridiculous pattern of tiny party hats printed on it. As I took her in, I was certain that she had gotten the wrong office, that she couldn’t possibly be there, carrying some kind of gift for me. Maybe she was looking for the guy who had sat there before me.”
I watched his throat work as his words held his audience’s attention.
“And I was going to tell her, but I didn’t stand a chance. She started babbling some nonsense about how cold New York was in winter and how irritating people turned when it snowed, how chaotic instead of peaceful the city actually was. ‘As if it’s my fault that New Yorkers hate the snow,’ she said. ‘It’s like the cold numbs their brains, and they turn stupid.’ ” Aaron smiled sheepishly. Very briefly, one moment there and the next gone.
And I kept staring at his profile, eating up his words and how they sent me right back to that day.
At that point, my heart banged against my chest with growing urgency, as if it were a wild thing, asking to be let out. Begging to ask all the questions taking shape in my head and threatening to do it itself if I didn’t.
“She placed the bag on my desk and then told me to open it. But the cold must have numbed my brain, too, because instead of doing that, I kept gawking at it. Petrified and … intrigued. Staring at it and not having the slightest clue as to what to do with it.”
He had done that, and his reaction had made me panic and jump into crisis-control Lina. Which had been my second mistake that day.
“When I didn’t reach for it, she shoved her hand into the bag and pulled the contents out herself.” Aaron chuckled, but he wasn’t laughing. Because the curt noise was almost sad.
I wasn’t laughing either. I was too busy chewing on the fact that he remembered everything. All of it. In detail. My chest filled with more questions.
“It was a mug. And it had a joke printed on it. It said, Engineers don’t cry. They build bridges and get over it.”
Someone laughed then. Isabel or perhaps Gonzalo—I wasn’t sure. With all that crazy banging, my heart had somehow moved up my throat and to my temples, so it was hard to focus on anything besides its beating and Aaron’s voice.
“And you know what I did?” he continued, bitterness filling his tone. “Instead of laughing like I wanted to, instead of looking up at her and saying something funny that would hopefully make her give me one of those bright smiles I had somehow already seen her give so freely in the short day I had been around her, I pushed it all down and set the mug on my desk. Then, I thanked her and asked her if there was anything else she needed.”
I knew I shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but I was. Just as much as I had been back then, if not more. It had been such a silly thing to do, and I had felt so tiny and dumb after he brushed it away so easily.
Closing my eyes, I heard him continue, “I pretty much kicked her out of my office after she went out of her way and got me a gift.” Aaron’s voice got low and harsh. “A fucking welcome gift.”
I opened my eyes just in time to watch him turn his head in my direction. Our gazes met.
“Just like the big jerk I had advertised myself to be, I ran her out. And to this day, I regret it every time it crosses my mind. Every time I look at her.” He didn’t even blink as he talked, looking straight into my eyes. And I didn’t think I did either. I didn’t think I was even breathing. “All the time I wasted so foolishly. All the time I could have had with her.”
If I hadn’t been leaning on the tall table of the sidrería, I would have fallen to the floor. My legs weren’t able to support my weight any longer. My body had somehow numbed. Aaron looked at me—no, he looked into me. And in return, he let me do the same. I couldn’t know how, but I swore, in that moment, he was laying bare a little piece of himself in front of me. He was trying to tell me something I didn’t think I had the ability to process. Or was he? Was he begging me to remember that this was all a farce? Or was he begging me to remember that even if it was, his words still held part of the truth?
But that couldn’t make any sense, could it?
No. Nothing did. Not me wondering and not whatever I thought I had heard in his words or seen in his eyes.
Certainly not the way my heart had broken free and turned into a wrecking ball, demolishing everything it found on its way and leaving nothing more than a trail of shambles behind.
“And what happened next?” a familiar voice asked.
“Then,” Aaron answered, and his hand rose, the backs of his fingers brushing my cheek, “I acted like a fool—an idiot, depending on who you ask—for a little longer.”
My eyelids hid my eyes, breaking off the contact. I could feel my blood pumping through my body. The imprint of the ghost of his touch right beneath my cheekbone.
“And eventually, I somehow managed to make her give me the time of day. I talked her into believing
that she needed me. Then, I showed her—proved to her—that she did.”
My eyes were still closed. I didn’t trust myself to open them.
I didn’t want to see Aaron. His face, his lips, the serious line of his jaw. I didn’t want to see if there were any secrets in the depths of the ocean in his eyes.
I was terrified of not finding a single thing there. Of finding something. Everything, anything. I … was simply terrified. Confused.
Then, someone started clapping. And I heard the unmistakable voice of my sister.
“You,” she said when I blinked open my eyes. Isabel’s voice sounded shaky with emotion and anger. All at once.
Not that I cared at that moment. I was looking into Aaron’s eyes again. And he hadn’t lifted his gaze off me.
What is happening? What are we doing?
My sister continued talking, “That was so beautiful, Aaron. And you, Catalina Martín Fernández,” she used our two last names, which meant trouble. “You are no sister of mine any longer. I can’t believe you kept all that from me. You made me talk about sexcapades and lust when the truth is so much better than all that superficial crap.”
The truth. That little word soured my stomach.
“Good thing your boyfriend has better sense. You are so very lucky he’s here.”
Aaron kept his eyes on me when he said, “See? It’s a very good thing I’m here.”
That sent my heart into doing another cartwheel.
“Oh, Aaron.” I heard my sister exhale shakily, and I could tell she was about to cry. Or kick my ass. It could be either one of those. “You have no idea how happy this makes me. It’s the best wedding gift I could ever get, seeing my little sister finally …” Her voice wobbled. “After all this time, it’s just …” A hiccup. “Oh, man. Why am I crying when I want to kick her ass? It must … it must … be …” She hiccupped again.
Oh dear Lord.
Tearing my gaze off Aaron, I reluctantly turned to my sister. She was full-on bawling. And she looked pissed off too.
“It must be all this wedding pressure,” I thought she mumbled.
Daniel, who I had completely forgotten about, said something under his breath and reached for the bottle of sidra. It was empty, so he placed it back on the table and bolted in the direction of the bar.
“Ven aquí, tonta.” Gonzalo pulled my sister into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. Then, he mouthed over her head, More alcohol.
Yep. Only that would save the night if the bride was weeping.
Especially when it was over a story that wasn’t true.
Because it couldn’t be.
It was all a lie. A deception.
Aaron had played with the truth. Just how I had asked him to do. He had adorned it, altered it so it fit this charade we were staring. It was nothing more than that. We were still the same Aaron and Lina who had left New York.
And on that note, Aaron would still be promoted to my boss.
Did you hear that, stupid and delusional heart? No more weird business.
Where Aaron Blackford was concerned, it was all an act.
By the time we rolled into the next spot, the club—and calling that to the modest and scrubby bar that doubled as a club at midnight was a stretch—I was ninety nine percent sure I might have crossed the tipsy border and walked right into drunkland.
The remaining one percent was divided. With all that sidra pumping through my veins, it was hard to discern if the way I felt had everything to do with the alcohol or if it was partly due to the man who had been watching over me like a hawk.
Aaron had stopped drinking at some point between Isabel’s waterfalls show and the arrival of the rest of the bachelorette and bachelor party to the sidrería. Which I wasn’t sure was a good thing. He was completely sober, and that meant, tomorrow, he’d recall every single detail of the night. And that wasn’t good. Not when every time he touched me, my body came openly alive, and then I proceeded to melt to the floor. And definitely not when every time he dipped his head to ask me if I was doing okay or if I was having fun, my heart decided that my chest wasn’t roomy enough and plunged itself to the pit of my stomach.
As for the rest? Well, I was mostly preoccupied with the way the loud music was filling my ears and spreading all the way to my hips and feet as we navigated the crowded and dark place.
Moving forward into the sea of bodies with the rest of the party in tow—or not because chances were, we had lost them—I was unexpectedly shoved back a couple of staggering steps. Aaron, who had been walking very close behind, intercepted me. His arm came around my waist, and his palm landed on my hip.
In one swift motion, he had me secured against him.
Just like I had experienced about a hundred twenty times that night, all my nerve endings were instantly charged with electricity the moment my back came into contact with his front. Every inch of my skin that was flushed against him heated. Even through the thin fabric of my blouse and his button-down.
His long and strong fingers squeezed my hip.
Turning my head to look up at his face, I didn’t care that my lips had parted and that my eyes probably looked hazy and a little clouded. Just how I felt. But then again, it wasn’t like I could conceal it. For whatever reason—the alcohol in my system or Aaron’s closeness—I simply couldn’t hide it.
So, instead, for the first time, I let myself enjoy it. Let my whole focus be on him. On all the points where our bodies touched and on the way he looked down at me. I focused on Aaron and on the way he was holding me against him as we blocked the way further inside the bar.
Keeping our gazes locked over my shoulder, I allowed my back to relax into him. And something danced in the blue of his eyes. I thought he was going to smile, but his mouth pressed in a serious line.
“You got me,” I said over the blaring music. “My savior. Always coming to my rescue, Mr. Kent.”
A part of me knew that was mostly the alcohol talking. But Aaron didn’t answer. His lips remained sealed as I watched his throat work. Someone behind him called us. Or perhaps it had come from the opposite side of the overcrowded bar. I didn’t know, and I didn’t care. I was going to tell Aaron to ignore it, but then he somehow tugged me under his side. Wrapping a large hand around mine at the same time.
I liked that. Far too much. So I didn’t complain.
Aaron guided me through the place as if he were the one who had spent countless nights here when he was younger. The bar was every bit as gloomy and packed with swirling bodies as I remembered. The music still boomed too loudly, and the floors were sticky with spilled drinks.
I loved it.
And I loved that Aaron was here with me tonight too. I loved that he protected me from those who accidentally—or drunkenly—pushed and shoved.
I loved many, many things right then. And I had the need to tell him.
Stopping, I turned around and went on my tiptoes, hopefully going somewhere near Aaron’s ear and not his armpit or something because that would be really embarrassing. “Don’t you love this place? I do. It’s nothing like New York’s fancy-schmancy clubs, huh?”
Aaron leaned down, his lips hovering over the shell of my ear. “It’s very … authentic.” He paused but didn’t retrieve his mouth from that spot. A shiver crawled down my back. “At first, I was a little wary. I’m not gonna lie.”
I felt the corners of my lips tugging up. Yeah, the place was definitely not Aaron’s style.
“But now …” he continued, and his lips brushed the sensitive area below my ear, making me melt and come to life, all at once. “Now, I think I could stay here until the sun comes up. Maybe even a little longer.”
My lips parted, but as I was ready to speak, someone pushed me, and the words were ripped off my tongue. I was shoved further into Aaron’s body, this time front to front. And I immediately felt against me all the hard planes and lean muscles I had witnessed shining under the sun that morning.
Something beneath my skin quickened, a
lmost like a zap.
My body urged me to obliterate the last inch of space between us. It was crazy how much I wanted to do that. I felt the urgency in my blood. As if my heart were pumping pure madness across my body. Making me reckless. So much so that my arms lifted of their own accord, my hands linking behind Aaron’s neck. I watched his eyes widen for just a heartbeat, and then something simmered and flared in his gaze. That blue blaze wiped clean the surprise, replacing it with something that looked a lot like hunger.
Everybody else around us was dancing to a beat that my hazy mind seemed to remember from something. It was Latin; it was decadent and fun and what summer nights in Spain were usually made of. Without really knowing how, my hips started moving. Aaron’s hands shifted to my waist. And we were dancing. The memory of doing that with him not so long ago blindsided me for an instant. How ironic it was that we’d found ourselves in the same situation so soon after and that we seemed like completely different people.
It didn’t make sense.
But I didn’t care. Not tonight.
My fingers played with the short strands of hair in Aaron’s nape as our hips swayed to the Latin beat. So soft—his hair was so very soft. Just how I had imagined. I pulled a little on the strands, not knowing why. In answer, Aaron’s fingers tightened on my waist, causing my blood to swirl and heat, gathering in all kinds of interesting places.
Without being able to stop myself, I went up on my tiptoes again, not needing an excuse to examine his face closer. He wasn’t frowning or smiling, but there was something about his features that made him look different. Unbound. Yes, that was it. There wasn’t a trace at all of that restraint I was so used to seeing in him. And to me, that made him look as handsome as he had ever looked.
