by May Dawson
“And then what?” I asked. “Then I just stay there all my life?”
He hesitated. He didn’t want to say yes, but that was what would happen next. Instead, he said, “You’d have a life, though.”
Everything in me wanted to revolt at the idea. But Rafe looked so worried, his brows drawn together above his handsome face, that I wanted to comfort him.
“I’ll think about it,” I promised, because that was the best I could do.
He gave me a long, searching look, then his hands fell off my shoulders.
“I doubt that very much,” he muttered. “But thanks for humoring me.”
He turned away, heading for the window which he leaned against. I stared after him for a second, but apparently Mr. Dark-and-Broody was done with me. I guessed that uplifting message was our goodbye.
I had just grabbed the doorknob to leave when he said, “Northsea.”
“Yeah?”
He turned away from the window, his gaze troubled. “If you don’t care about your own life that much, think about these guys. They’d follow you into a war.”
“We’re friends,” I said, even though that seemed small compared to what we all meant to each other. “That’s what friends do.”
“Friends look out for each other,” he said. “And you might be the one to start the war.”
His words freaked me out.
“I’ll think about it,” I promised. “I really will.”
“Good.”
I was about to open the door when I turned back. I had a burning question that I shouldn’t ask Rafe, but the impulse was so strong that I couldn’t help it.
“This might be the last time I see you, then,” I said. “I just have to ask. When you say they’d go to war for me…”
There was something resigned on his face when he looked at me, but he crossed his arms in that familiar, intimidating posture. The silence seemed to stretch between us.
“Yeah?” he asked. “Say what you’ve got to say.”
“Would you be there too?” The words came out sounding simple, flat, even though the question I was asking him was huge.
One of his perfect eyebrows arched. “Don’t you know?
“No, Rafe.” My voice came out a whisper. “I don’t know.”
His mouth tightened, pulling at the corners, and I would’ve thought he was angry except for the heat that flared in his eyes. The whole room was between us, and yet he looked at me as if he wanted to close the distance, push me against the wall, thread his fingers through my hair and kiss me so hard I wouldn’t have to wonder anymore.
But he didn’t.
“If you’re as headstrong and determined as I think you are,” he said, “I guess we’ll find out.”
I jerked my head in a nod goodbye and headed out the door.
My gaze was suddenly blurry—I just felt so overwhelmed by the thought that no one would see me as a real shifter—and so I didn’t see who was in front of me until I crashed into someone. I bumped into a slender but defined body, and he caught me so I couldn’t fall.
“Hey there.” Silas’ hands went to my hips to steady me. He’d sounded playful, but when I blinked the tears away that had formed in my eyes and flashed him a smile, his face changed. “Are you okay, Maddie?”
“I’m fine,” I said. I glanced down the hall. At least we were alone. Around here, I never wanted anyone besides my guys to see me emotional.
“Personally, I pretty much only cry when I’m either not-fine or watching Korean drama, but okay,” he said.
My lips parted in confusion, but then I found myself smiling. I wasn’t sure that Silas really watched any melodramatic TV shows, but I could one-hundred-percent believe that Silas was on board with crying as a healthy expression of emotion.
“You’re really different, you know that?” I told him. We were still standing close together, close enough for me to breathe in the clean scent of Silas’ aftershave.
His eyebrows rose. “Yes, I hear that a lot. A concerning amount, really.”
“No, it’s nice,” I said. “It’s refreshing.”
He smiled down at me, his signature nice Silas smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and made faint dimples appear under his chiseled cheekbones. His fingertips stroked over my hips, so faintly that I wasn’t sure he even realized he was doing it, but I was keenly aware of every shift in his body.
“What’s really wrong?” he asked me, his voice gentle. “If you tell me, maybe I can help.”
“I think this falls into the category of problems Maddie Northsea has to face on her own,” I told him.
“That’s my least favorite category,” he said.
“Mine too,” I said, but I didn’t mean it.
After Rafe’s positive thoughts, right now the worst category was problems that could crush my men.
“You’ll be home again in a few days,” he said. “Sunday. It’s not long at all.”
Not long at all. Just long enough to change everything.
“I know,” I whispered. I was afraid my voice would break. If I took Rafe’s advice, I might never see Silas again. Just imagining that made me feel like my heart was being torn in two.
He wasn’t just a friend anymore, not to me.
I hadn’t fully understood that until the moment I was staring into his face, trying to figure out how to say goodbye to him without giving away the emotion pounding through my chest.
“Maddie.” The word came out a breath, and he cupped my face in his hands, gazing at me intently. His thumbs brushed over my cheekbones, wiping away tears I hadn’t realized had fallen.
“Look after them for me, will you?” I murmured. “We both know you’re…more…than you pretend to be.”
He jolted away from me, his eyes widening, as if I’d said something that shocked him.
I gazed up at him, blinking away the tears that clung to my lashes, then scrubbed my hand across my eyes for good measure. Why had that bothered him so much?
But he was already back to normal, albeit standing now with his hands dangling at his sides instead of touching me.
“Of course,” he said. “But everything’s going to be all right, Maddie.”
“Yeah? You ever seen a prophecy that said so?” Dani’s words had been on my mind, but at least the glib words helped me smile through my tears.
“Maybe.” He shrugged, slipping one hand into his pocket. He had a slender, elegant frame, tall and athletic but not as big and built like so many of the guys around here. “I don’t believe in prophecies, though. Just… pain-in-the-ass women who love hard and never quit.”
His gorgeous eyes were still intent on mine, and his plush, tender lower lip seemed to call me. He looked at me as if he wanted to kiss me.
And despite what he was trying to promise, I might just have one last chance to kiss Silas.
So I bobbed up onto my toes, my hands slipping up his chest, leaning my face up to kiss him.
Silas turned his face away as he folded me into a hug, pulling me tight against his sinewy body. My lips brushed the smooth skin across his jaw.
Embarrassment flooded my chest, turning off the desire that had throbbed through my body a second before.
I pulled away from him, forcing a smile to my face. “See you later, Silas.”
“Maddie,” he said. “Wait.”
I just waved at him over my shoulder as I headed to get my bag.
And far behind me, when I was almost out of earshot, I heard him mutter, “Don’t know when I turned into such an idiot.”
I didn’t want to leave things like that between Silas and me. I wanted to rewind three minutes or, if that wasn’t possible, to talk to him until I was sure our friendship was on solid footing. My chest ached.
But Penn and Ty came out of the guys’ room then, bags slung over their shoulders, their faces expectant. They were obviously looking for me.
It was too late to go back, even if I’d wanted to.
Chapter Fifteen
Pe
nn
When we reached the parking lot, Maddie’s sister Piper was waiting there with Rafe and a few of Piper’s men. I glanced curiously at the men who Maddie grew up with, who had trained her to fight. They were all stoic-faced and cold now.
“We’ve got Joan and we’re taking her home with us,” Piper told Maddie. “We’ll find a way to help her.”
Maddie nodded, and Piper studied her with troubled eyes. “I wish I could come with you. Finn thinks he found a lead on your father. I’ll text you when I know more.”
“I’ve got this,” Maddie promised her sister, her chin rising, as if there was some subtext passing between them.
“I know you do.” Piper hugged Maddie tightly, burying her face in her shoulder. “I just wish you didn’t have to do it on your own.”
“I’m not on my own,” Maddie reminded her.
Piper tried to smile as the two of them separated. “Right. I know.”
They said their goodbyes, and then we both got into our separate cars. Rafe watched us go, his face stern as we headed down the drive to the gates. I held my breath, hoping our forged pass would get us through.
But soon, we were on the road.
The drive was quiet at first.
“It feels good to be away from the academy, doesn’t it?” Maddie asked, breaking into the silence. “Even though we have work to do.”
“It does for now.” I twisted in the passenger seat as she leaned forward from the back. “I wish we were sticking together.”
I hated the thought of being separated from her and Tyson once we reached my pack.
“So tell me everything I need to know to be your pack princess.” Her lips twisted ruefully. She slipped Lex’s sunglasses out of the center console and pushed the oversized gray aviators up her nose with one finger, ducking her head to avoid the rays of the setting sun beaming into our car.
“You know he wants you to really be his pack princess,” Tyson said.
I glared at him, but he didn’t look away from the road to appreciate my irritation.
“Don’t make it weird,” I said. “Lord. Is Silas’ uncomfortable-honesty-habit contagious?”
“I don’t think it’s uncomfortable for Silas.” Maddie chewed her lip, and even though we were joking around, the air in the car felt tense to me.
I said, “I don’t want you to do anything that you aren’t—”
“I’m not,” she said, an edge of laughter in her voice. “Trust me. No, I’m worrying about everyone else back at the academy.”
“That they’ll be bored without you?” I asked lightly.
“I’m worried that they won’t be bored. I don’t trust Clearborn.”
“I never would’ve thought that we might miss Dean McCauley,” I said.
“Missing seems like a stretch,” Ty said.
Maddie sighed.
“Nothing we can do about it now,” I said.
“Right.” She still sounded troubled, and it made me ache to fix anything that worried her. But I couldn’t.
“We’ll be back Sunday,” Tyson said. “How much trouble can they get into in four days?”
“I think we all know they can get into a lot of trouble,” Maddie said, a teasing edge in her voice.
“I’m worried about how much trouble we’re going to get into.” Tyson glanced toward me. “I don’t like leaving you there alone.”
“I’ll be fine. I was on my own when I faced down Anton,” I reminded him.
Ty’s brows arched. “I’m not sure I’d call that day a win, as a whole.”
Sometimes it was hard to tell if Tyson felt protective of me like a brother…or if he wanted to knock me down a peg in front of Maddie, since I was supposed to be his alpha.
I debated asking him just that. Probably wouldn’t do much for the tension in the car.
“It has to be a good thing the pack saw Penn act as alpha right away,” Maddie said, running her hand over my shoulder. “They might’ve doubted he’d even want the job.”
Under her firm fingertips, some of my tension ebbed away. I hadn’t realized how stiff I was until my shoulders sank back into the seat.
“Even if he got his ass kicked,” Ty said it lightly.
What a jackass.
“It’s not an ass-kicking if you’re the one who walks away,” I reminded him.
Maddie glanced between the two of us. Her bright blue eyes seemed worried. She was picking up far too much about the troubled undercurrents between Ty and me.
I wanted my best friend back, the way things used to be.
But there was no going back. The door on the way things used to be slammed shut when my father was shot.
The memory of the bright red bloodstain spreading across his white shirt kept coming back to me, and every time my heart began to race the way it had that night. I had the same sickening sense of the world spinning out of control.
“Let’s stop up here,” I told Tyson, pointing at an upcoming exit off the highway. “I’m starving, and we’ve put some distance between us and the academy.”
“You’re the boss,” he said lightly.
Yeah. Lucky me.
There wasn’t much off the exit, except a gas station and a truck stop and country roads stretching in either direction. Ty gassed up the car while Maddie and I headed into the convenience store.
“What should we get Ty?” she asked, pausing in front of an end cap full of mini donuts and fake pies.
“Do you think Ty got abs like that eating Twinkies?” I asked. I picked up a package of devil’s food cakes. “Because yes, he did. That fucking asshole.”
Maddie grinned.
“He likes these,” I said. “And Twizzlers.”
“I’ll find the Twizzlers.” She headed down the candy aisle. “You two know each other so well.”
I grunted in response.
She crouched down to grab two packs of Twizzlers. “It’s not like you to just grunt at me. The grunting is usually covered by other guys… Are you trying to make sure I don’t miss Rafe and Lex?”
“You’re going to make me think that you like them more than you like me.”
“Don’t be jealous.” There was a teasing smile across her lips as she jumped up and into my arms.
I caught her, throwing my arm around her lithe waist. It felt so good when she was in my arms, even if she was being impossible.
“You know that I like you for you, right?” she murmured, so close to me that her lips grazed my ear. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”
I pulled back just enough to flash her a skeptical look. “I’m a fuck-up who doesn’t want to be his pack’s alpha, even though every normal little wolf cub dreams of the job. And I self-medicate to make up for the gaping hole left by my dead parents’ signature combination of neglect and unrealistic expectations. You could do better, Mads.”
Her brows arched. She studied me, and I thought she was going to argue with me. But for all my faults, I was pretty self-aware.
“Maybe,” she said, and I almost laughed at the fact that she just agreed with all that. “But you’re my fuck-up. And you’re also brave and honest and loyal—”
“And a goddamn Hufflepuff, apparently,” I cut her off.
She smiled and when she smiled, I couldn’t resist her, so I pressed my lips to hers.
She kissed me back, dropping the Twizzlers as her hands curled around my shoulders.
“You don’t even know your Harry Potter houses,” Tyson said. “And you guys are making a gas station spectacle.”
Maddie started to pull away, and I tugged her closer, deepening the kiss, just for a second. When I let go of her, she fixed me with a look I couldn’t quite read. Her fingertips played absently across her now bee-stung red lips.
I glanced around as Ty scooped to grab the packs of Twizzlers, then said, “There’s no one else in here.”
“Cleaning up your mess as usual,” Ty said, straightening and slapping the two cherry-red Twizzler packs against my chest.
I caught them. “They’re for you, actually. You’re welcome.”
“Always so thoughtful—”
“Guys,” Maddie cut in. She frowned as she glanced around the brightly-lit convenience store. “You’re right. We are alone in here. And that’s weird, right?”
Ty and I exchanged a glance. We’d been so busy squabbling we’d almost missed it. But now that I was paying attention, I could smell the faint human tang of fear. Recent. Close.
I touched a finger to my lips. Then I said, “It’s not that weird. I guess someone’s slacking tonight.”
“Guess that makes my Twizzlers free.” Ty set them quietly down on the counter, then moved to the door, his boots squeaking on the linoleum.
Maddie followed him without missing a beat and I brought up the rear, as an eerie prickle ran up my spine. Ty pulled open the door, setting the bells to ringing, then let it slam shut again.
Moving quietly, the three of us skirted the store. The scent was stronger at the back, by the Employees Only door next to the refrigerator cases for beer and wine coolers.
I nodded to Maddie and Ty. Their feet were silent as they moved across the floor to join me.
I raised three fingers for a silent count down.
One, two, three.
Then we burst in.
Someone had turned off the lights in the tight, warehouse space behind the convenience store. Boxes filled the floor-to-ceiling wire rack shelves. I blinked and my eyes adjusted to the dim light, faster than any human’s could.
Between the shelves, the girl’s eyes shone in the darkness. She was behind the last row, sitting on the floor. Tears trickled down her face.
She wasn’t alone.
The guy shot up to his feet, holding out the same knife he must have used to force her back here to begin with.
He wasn’t prepared for what came next.
Maddie leapt on top of him, knocking the knife out of his hand. He went after her, but Ty snarled at him, his canines popping out, and the man pulled back, his eyes widening with fear.
“Guys!” I shouted at them. “Don’t scare the girl.”
We didn’t want her to see anything she would question later.
