by Lila Younger
But it’s been almost a month since Stacie called me, and the last time we met, she seemed on edge the whole time. I’ve even tried to call her to schedule a meeting, but until now she hasn’t responded. Granted, the holidays are hectic for everyone, but Stacie doesn’t have family to go to, and was it really so wrong of me to want to see my kid at Christmas? And now after all that silence, she’s badgering me at my office? What is going on?
“Carter,” Stacie says, picking up on the first ring. “Can we meet today?”
“Today? You know that I work right?”
“Well you’re the one who’s been blowing up my phone trying to meet Luna. And now I’m letting you. So can you do it?”
I detect a definite edge in Stacie’s voice. Something is going on, but I can’t figure out what it could be. If it meant I could see Luna though, I wasn’t going to pass up the chance. I turn on my computer monitor and check through the meetings I have today. Some things can be moved around or put off in the afternoon luckily. Having worked here for so long, I do have a little leeway with my schedule, and I’m ready to make up the hours tonight so I can see my daughter.
“I can do noon,” I say. “Would that work?”
“Fine,” she says tersely. “Don’t be late.”
“When have I ever been late? Stacie, is something going on?”
“There’s nothing. I’ll see you at IHOP then.”
Luna had an obsession for pancakes almost as big as the one she has for Beauty and the Beast. I don’t think I ever saw a kid as happy as the day I gave her a Belle dress as a gift. It was the first time she ever gave me a hug, and since then, she’s even referred to me as ‘daddy’ a few times.
Once Stacie’s hung up, I call Gina on the phone.
“I need you to clear my schedule for the afternoon,” I say. “Do you think you can do that?”
“You’re going to see Luna?”
Gina is the only one I’ve told so far about Luna. She’s got over ten grandchildren herself, and she loves each and every one of them.
“That’s right. Do whatever you have to do. I’ll bring work home with me for a few nights if I have to make up for it. I know that Sherman’s been wanting some of the bigger cases. See if he’ll take the new client for me.”
“Are you… are you sure?” she asks, knowing what that could mean.
“It’s fine. I can make up the hours later.”
“I’ll make it happen Mr. Sedgwick,” she says.
“Thank you Gina. I’ll get you coffee tomorrow,” I promise.
The morning crawls by, until finally it’s 11:40 and I can leave to go see Luna. The restaurant isn’t far, a fifteen minute trip, but as I said before, I am never late to see my kid. Not only is it a pet peeve, but I don’t ever want to be that kind of a parent. The place is packed when I arrive, but I manage to snag the last booth. I text Stacie to let her know where I am since it’s in the far back of the restaurant. To pass the time, I pull out my phone to see what we can do. The only movies out we’ve already seen, and Beauty and the Beast isn’t for a few more months. Damn.
It’s almost a full hour later before Stacie shows up with Luna in tow. She’s wearing the princess Belle dress I gave her, with a bright pink backpack on her back.
“Hey Luna,” I say, stepping out of the booth so I can give her a hug. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too daddy,” she says, breaking out into a heart melting smile.
Stacie hustles her into the other side of the booth before getting in. She’s gotten thinner, I can tell, and there’s a nervousness to her that jangles my nerves. The years haven’t been kind to Stacie. I don’t know if it was her agent that convinced her to, or some kind of misguided belief she has, but Stacie has had almost every plastic surgery procedure done to herself. If I am to hold up a photo of what she looked like almost five years ago, you would swear they were two different people. Not that she was natural when I met her. But the changes had been subtle, enhancing her features instead of taking away from them. It’s not a look I’m attracted to at all, no matter how often Stacie tries to push herself onto me after these meetings.
A pimply waiter swoops in with coffee and menus. Luna opens hers up, big enough to hide her completely. She’s made it a mission to go through every item at IHOP.
“What’s going on with you?” I ask in a low voice across our menus. “You seem agitated.”
“I’m not,” Stacie hisses. “Stop bugging me.”
I frown at her twitchy face.
“Oh my God, are you high right now? You are, aren’t you?”
She tries to deny it, but I’m not fucking blind. I feel red hot rage bubbling up like lava inside of me. What the fuck? It’s noon on a Tuesday. Why the fuck is Stacie doing drugs? And with Luna around too? She could have gotten the two of them killed in the car on the way over.
“You have no idea what’s going on with me,” she whispers harshly. “None.”
She turns to Luna and kisses her on the head.
“Lou, mommy’s going to go to the bathroom okay?” she says.
“Kay,” Luna says.
Stacie turns back to me and glares at me, then grabs her purse and slides out of the booth. I shake my head, my hands balling up into fists. Ever since Stacie’s blocked me out over the holidays, I’ve been thinking that maybe I should petition for custody. After all, this is my kid, and even if we weren’t married, I still had rights. My life right now is consumed by work, but I could secure regular visitation at the very least. Now I wish I had secured some form of custody as soon as I was told about Luna, because nobody just starts taking drugs in the middle of the day while caring for their kid.
“I’m ready,” Luna says, folding her menu.
I stuff the rage I feel towards Stacie and turn to Luna. No matter what, I don’t want our visit spoiled, and Luna was a sensitive kid who picked up on these sort of things. Fuck, what if she was sensitive because things at home were unstable?
“So am I, but we need to wait for mom,” I say. I can’t resist adding, because I need to know. “Did you have a good day today?”
Luna ponders for a moment.
“I got to wear my dress,” she says brightly. “And RJ made breakfast.”
I had assumed that RJ was Stacie’s boyfriend, but now I wasn’t so sure. I tried to comb through my memories of our meetings. Was there any signs then of Stacie using drugs? I didn’t think so, but then again, it would never occur to me to do something so incredibly stupid and dangerous.
“Sounds lovely,” I say. My stomach grumbles and I wonder what the hell Stacie is doing. “Daddy had a good day too. But now it’s even better because I get to see you.”
We chat for another ten minutes, before I’ve had enough. Both Luna and I are hungry. I decide to that we should just go ahead and order. I’m starting to get worried though. I know women can take a while in the bathroom, but this is excessive. I try to glance around the restaurant, but the restaurant is curved in a U shape, and we’re right at the very end. When a waitress appears with our food, I quietly pull her aside to ask if she could check on Stacie in the bathroom, in case something happened. Her face when she returns tells me everything.
Stacie’s left.
I’m genuinely shocked. Why would she up and leave her kid behind? Where the hell did she go? The last thing I want to do is to make Luna panic, so I quickly thank the waitress and pull out my phone to send Stacie a text. No reply. There’s nothing for it but to sit tight and hope for the best. But almost two hours later, I have to give up. The lunch crowd has emptied out. If Stacie wanted to come back, she would have answered her phone. The woman has abandoned her kid.
“What’s wrong daddy?” Luna asks me.
“Nothing,” I reply. I have to think fast. “Mommy isn’t feeling well, so you’re going to hang out with me this afternoon kiddo.”
“Okay,” she says cheerfully.
“Can you sit tight while daddy makes a call?” I ask her.
Luna
nods, pulling out a coloring book from her backpack. I slide out of the booth and walk a few feet away, just enough so she can’t overhear my conversation.
“Gina, I need your help.”
“What is it?” she says, alarmed.
“Stacie’s dumped her kid on me. I don’t think I’ll be able to come in today. Maybe not even tomorrow if I can’t find a babysitter. I’ve got a few vacation days saved up, but clients aren’t going to happy about it. I have to figure out what to do with Luna though, and I can’t just abandon her on some stranger when her mom’s left her behind.”
I turn and look at Luna, coloring away in her book. She seems completely unfazed by her mother’s absence, but that won’t last very long. I have no clue what I’m going to tell the kid, if I even am. I’m holding out hope that Stacie’s just done something stupid, but she’ll come back and straighten things. Then again, I can only imagine what the situation is at home if she’s shooting up with Luna around. Fuck.
“Poor thing,” Gina murmurs. “I’ll take care of things here Mr. Sedgwick. Don’t you worry about it.”
“Thank you. I’ll let you know once I figure out what to do.”
As soon as I hang up, I pay for the tab and take Luna to her favorite park. As she climbs up on the jungle gym, I repeatedly try Stacie’s phone. I even try to find RJ through her Facebook friends, but there’s nothing. Maybe I should have asked more questions, paid more attention, but right now there’s nothing for it. I’m going to have to take Luna home with me.
I rifle through the girl’s backpack. There’s a coloring book, a doll, and a manila envelope with my name on it. Stacie didn’t even pack clothes for the kid, which tells me that she hasn’t told Luna that she’s going to leave. Damn, that’s cold. I open up the envelope, and see a birth certificate. Luna Rose Ellsworth. Under father, I see my name. She’s going to be five on April 12th. I feel my gut clench in anger on Luna’s behalf.
As Luna plays, I formulate a plan. I’ll keep her with me, find a nanny, and maybe ease off on my work a little. I have no idea how long Stacie’s going to disappear for, but the more I think about it, the more I decide not to give Luna up without a fight. I call up an old friend, John, who works in family court and discuss the situation with him. I want custody.
Once that’s sorted, I call Luna back. If she’s staying with me, we’re going to have to stock up. My bachelor pad is anything but kid friendly.
********
I watch Jade as she leaves Luna and I, soft curves swaying as she walks. I still can’t believe that this was my neighbor. She barely had her nose out of a book back then, just a shy slip of a girl that I would occasionally see on my way to work. That was back when I had just gotten hired and needed a cheap place to live. The duplex was two minutes away from a bus line that stopped right in front of the office, and it was a space I could call my own. No more neighbors blasting music at three in the morning, elevators breaking down that never got repaired. It was fantastic really, even if the commute was longer than I wanted.
But now, now Jade is something else. Nice round ass, wide hips, generous handfuls of breast. The perfect kind of body that had me wishing I could bend her over the freezer bins and fuck senseless. Damn. How old was she anyways? Eight, ten years younger? I shouldn’t be thinking about her that way. I really shouldn’t.
“She’s nice,” Luna observes. “Is she my babysitter?”
“Jade? Yes, she will be. She’s daddy’s friend and I agree, she’s very nice.”
We were using two different definitions of nice, but I didn’t tell her that.
“Better than RJ,” Luna says.
“Good.” I don’t want you to ever go back to that, I add silently. “Now, how about even more pancakes for dinner?”
Luna’s face lights up, and I feel a sucker punch of emotion that knocks me senseless. How the fuck could Stacie ever abandon such an adorable kid?
Jade
Wow.
That’s all there really is to say about Mr. Sedgwick, I mean Carter’s house. I don’t even know if you would call this a house anymore. A mansion? That’s it. I peer out my windshield to really take it all in. It’s only two stories, but it’s a sprawling two stories. In fact, it looks like an HGTV design home, the kind where there’s a bathroom suite for every bedroom, and a private movie screening room or something. Did he really live in this house all by himself? I’d feel so lost, like a marble rolling around in a bucket. The house is set far back from the road too, for extra privacy, and the neighbors’ homes are almost out of sight. I come from a home where I could never open my curtains because I was two feet from my neighbor, so I’m definitely in awe.
Just in case I accidently drove to the wrong house, I check the address he gave me one more time. Nope, this is definitely the place.
“Let’s do this. Don’t want to be late on the first day Jade.”
Having given myself the pep talk, I step out. I hope that I didn’t dress down too much for the occasion. I’ve got my purple hoodie and a pair of skinny jeans tucked in boots. Stuff that I know can take on a rambunctious kid without worry. But looking at this place, I wonder if maybe I should have dressed up a little bit. The grounds are immaculately tended to, and I almost expect a gardener to come walking around the corner with a wheelbarrow. I wonder if maybe Carter has a maid too. And then I worry, because this doesn’t look like the kind of house for a little kid. It looks like one with million dollar art and sculptures that little hands could dirty or break. I hope that isn’t the case. Carter’s a new dad, and he might not know that about kids. Having grown up with a bunch of siblings, I only know too well.
I walk up the stone steps to the large, double doors and ring the doorbell. I can hear it echoing inside, followed by the shriek of a little kid. A few minutes later, the door opens. Carter and Luna are at the door, both of them smiling as soon as they see me.
“Jade! Perfect timing,” he says.
“Hi,” I say timidly. God, the man looks good. I sort of thought maybe I had imagined it, but nope, he looks amazing in his suit. Tall, intimidating, and powerful, his look softened only by the blue tie that brings out the color of his eyes.
He opens the door further, and I walk in. I’m not skinny and tiny by any measure, but I do feel small and fragile next to him.
“Jade!” Luna cries out. It looks like she’s slept in her Belle dress, because it’s definitely a lot more wrinkled than yesterday. “We’re having pancakes!”
“Yum,” I say. “Who’s we?”
She holds up a rather scraggly teddy bear.
“This is Oscar,” she says solemnly. “My best friend.”
I lean down and shake Oscar’s stuffed paw.
“Nice to meet you. I think we’ll become good friends too,” I say to the bear.
“Luna, why don’t you go and finish breakfast?” Carter says.
We watch as Luna scampers back down the hall, Oscar trailing along the floor behind her. I’m suddenly very aware that we’re all alone together in the entryway. I bite down on my lip, nerves coming over me even though I should know better. My heart flutters as he turns towards me.
“It’s been a long twenty-four hours,” he says, rubbing his neck. “She refused to take off the princess dress.”
I give him a reassuring smile. We’re on a topic I know a lot about, kids, and that calms down my nerves.
“I don’t think a night in a ball gown will hurt her any,” I say. “Did she sleep okay at least?”
“Like a log,” he says. “Although it took her a little bit to get used to the silence. She says there’s usually music and all sorts of noise. I feel fucking terrible. I can’t imagine what sort of environment she’s been living in.”
“Her mother hasn’t called at all?”
“No,” Carter says with a grimace. “But that’s fine. The more I learn about what Luna’s life has been like, the more resolved I am to get custody of her.”
“It’s going to be tough with a four year old kid,” I
say softly. “And she still hasn’t processed losing her mom. That will come later.”
Luna seemed like a wonderful little girl, but kids have delayed reactions to things sometimes, and it can really make them act out. They just don’t have the words to put to their thoughts and feelings and it can overwhelm them. I hope Carter knows that. It’s going to turn his life upside down to have a well-adjusted kid around, much less a little one from a troubled home.
“Yes, I’ve been doing some reading. I couldn’t sleep last night either. I’m hoping that having you here can ease that transition,” he says.
“Of course. Anything for Luna. She’s adorable.”
Carter flashes me a smile that makes my face flush, my body perking up at his presence. He puts a hand on my shoulder, and my legs turn to jello. I’m surprised I haven’t crumpled onto the floor in a puddle. What is going on with me? I’m never this way. Never. Not even when I got paired up with Jordan the star quarterback for science lab.
“Thank you Jade. I know I can count on you,” he says.
“Uh huh,” I say faintly.
This is embarassing. Why couldn’t I get a hold of myself? I’m practically throwing myself at Carter. I guess until now I’ve never met a real man, one who wasn’t all pimply and juvenile. No, Carter exuded confidence and raw power, and my body’s response to it was really quite natural. I just wish it wasn’t so obvious.
Carter’s eyes darkened, pupils widening for a moment before he stepped back again. I blink, dazed. I must have imagined it. There’s no way that Carter would ever be even remotely interested. I was young and inexperienced, while he looked as handsome as an actor. I had no doubt that women more gorgeous than I were throwing themselves at him on a daily basis.
“I’ll be back tonight then,” he says. “You should have everything you need here, but I did leave the booster seat in the garage in case you want to take Luna somewhere. I’m hoping to be back by six, maybe seven. I’ll bring dinner too.”
And with that he turns away, leaving me feeling all out of sorts. Work. You’re at work Jade, so act like it, I scold. With that I hurried to the kitchen. At least I know what to do with a four year old girl. Having done so much babysitting for my parents, I have no shortage of fun activities in mind. And hopefully that will keep her mind off of her missing mother.
