by Lisa Suzanne
“How did you know that was what I wanted?”
“I think I know you better than you realize, Quinn.”
“You don’t know anything about me.” I took a long sip of my wine.
“I know you’re a good teacher. I know you suck at Cornhole. I know you’re fucking sexy as hell and you want me but you’re too afraid to admit it and too scared to do anything about it.”
Holy shit.
Something about those words set my blood on fire, but a different side of me decided that it would be smarter to throw myself into combat mode.
“It doesn’t matter what I’m afraid of, Reed. This,” I motioned between the two of us, “is never going to happen.”
He gazed at me for a moment before he spoke, pinning me to my seat with those blue eyes. “Why do you think this isn’t going to happen? Because I’m convinced that it is going to happen.”
I thought about his question for a moment. He was one hundred percent right: I was too scared to get into something with him, because based on the feelings and thoughts that permeated me after having only known him for two days, I knew this could get serious. And as much as I had the same dream of happily ever after as anybody, I just couldn’t set myself up for the inevitable heartbreak. I wasn’t going to take that risk; not after the way things ended with Jared, not after finding him with Erica in my bed. Love meant pain, and while I was nowhere near love with Reed, I just couldn’t get into something that would end with me alone again.
“You’re delusional.”
He shook his head and pressed his lips together. When he spoke, his voice was quiet but direct. All I could do was stare at his lips as the words tumbled out softly. “I’ll wait until you’re ready, Quinn. I’ll wait until you can see that I’m worth the risk.”
I didn’t have a reply, and thank God for Perky Tits swooping in to drop off our meals. “Refill?” she asked, nodding at my empty glass of wine. I nodded, averting my eyes from Reed. I couldn’t stare into those blue eyes any longer. They were starting to mesmerize me. They were starting to convince me. And I wasn’t ready for that.
We ate our salads in awkward silence. I hated the quiet. I hated feeling uncomfortable, but Reed took me completely out of my comfort zone.
“Are we just going to eat in silence?” he asked, breaking some of the nervous tension radiating between us.
I shrugged. “I guess.”
“Why don’t you tell me something about you.”
“You seem to have me pegged already, Reed,” I pointed out, referring back to our conversation earlier.
“Fine. Then I will tell you about myself.”
I raised my eyebrows. What made him think I wanted to hear it? Even if I did. Sort of.
“I was born and raised in Wisconsin.”
Jesus. A fucking Midwestern farm boy. This got better and better.
“My parents still live there. My family owns and operates a dairy farm, and part of the reason I got into environmentalism is because of the way they raised me.”
Environmentalism? So he was preppy and he was saving the world? Fuck, I bet he was a Boy Scout, too.
“I just moved here from Wisconsin about two weeks ago, and the only people I know here are the people I work with, like your brother.”
“So what do you do at his company?” The question of interest was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I silently berated myself with the reminder that I wasn’t interested in Preppy.
He smiled, apparently pleased that I had taken an interest. “I’m the energy efficiency expert, I guess. My official title is Project Engineer, but essentially I research renewable energy, I analyze resources, I audit and inspect new builds.”
“Do you like it?” Another question of interest. I was not interested, I reminded myself.
“I love it. I feel like I’m helping the world and at the same time I’m doing something interesting. Do you like your job?”
“I love my job. I teach freshmen and seniors, and I like having that variety.”
“What novels are you teaching?”
“Right now the freshmen are reading To Kill a Mockingbird and the seniors are reading Brave New World.”
“Two of my favorites.”
“You read?”
“Voraciously.”
Voraciously? Who uses words like that? Nerd Alert.
“What genres?” I asked, deflecting the v-word.
“Anything. Lately I’ve been working through some scientific textbooks.”
“Sounds dreadfully boring.”
He laughed, and I found myself really enjoying the way his laugh sounded as I laughed right along with him.
“What do you read?” he asked.
“Whatever I’m teaching, usually. But I trade romance novels with my best friend, Veronica.”
“Typical.”
“Shut up.”
“I just mean you will read your happy endings in romance novels, but you won’t take the risk for yourself on your own happy ending.”
“Fuck off.” Okay, now I was apparently just resorting to immaturity.
“You know it’s true,” he said, his voice soft again. It seemed like anytime he was trying to make a point to me, his voice got low and intense. I liked it, but that wasn’t something I’d ever admit to him.
I ate my last bite of my salad and wiped my lips with my napkin. “So what if it’s true? It’s my prerogative to live my life how I want, Reed.”
He took a sip of his Jack and Coke and then swirled the little remaining liquid. He stared at it as the ice clinked loudly against the side of the glass. He set his glass down and looked me in the eyes. “I’m not disagreeing with you. But at some point, you’re going to have to get past whatever you’re holding onto and you’re going to have to step out on the edge of the cliff. And I’d love to be the one holding your hand when you’re ready to jump over it.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t say anything. Perky Tits dropped off our check, and I looked awkwardly up at Reed, not knowing if I should offer to pay for my portion. He grabbed the check and glanced at it, and then he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and inserted his credit card into the slot.
“Do you want me to get my half?” I asked, wanting to be polite – which was odd for me considering how he always seemed to put me on the defensive. But his little speech about wanting to hold my hand as we jumped off the cliff together pulled me a little closer to him, made me a little more comfortable around him. A little more attracted to him.
“I’ve got it,” he said, his eyes smoldering. “But thanks for offering.”
I nodded and looked out the window, once again confused by the emotions running through me for the man sitting across the table from me. I wanted with everything inside of me not to want him, but at the same time, I couldn’t make myself stop wanting him.
I gulped down the rest of my wine, ready for this torturous meal to be over. Okay, “torturous” was dramatic, but it was awkward and he was making me feel things I had no business feeling. I just wanted to find Ty and have some angry sex.
But as I glanced over at Reed’s lips, I couldn’t help but wonder what they would feel like against mine. They looked soft and sweet. They looked warm and inviting.
But I wasn’t a soft, sweet, warm kind of girl.
I liked Ty’s angry sex. I liked hard and rough and fast. I liked the detachment that meant that I wouldn’t get hurt in the end.
Yet something about Reed made me want things I’d never wanted.
This was new territory for me, and I was completely unsure of myself and how to handle it.
After he paid the bill, he walked me to my car. I wasn’t sure if he was the “kiss on the first date” type, and I wasn’t sure how I’d react if he tried, but I wanted his lips on mine.
I unlocked my car and he opened my door for me. He moved in close behind me, and I went to get in the car. I stopped and turned around, and he was within touching distance as he held onto the top of m
y car door.
“Thanks for dinner,” I said awkwardly, glancing at his lips.
His eyes flicked to my lips. “You’re welcome. I’d like to take you out again sometime.”
I shrugged. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
His eyes did that little flick back to my lips. He wanted to kiss me, and here I stood, denying his request for a second date. He leaned in closer. “I’m sure you don’t,” he whispered, and I felt the heat from his breath against my mouth. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.”
“Reed—” I began, but I stopped when he turned his head and brushed his lips against my cheek.
“Have a good night, Quinn,” he said, and then he backed away from me.
As I watched his tight ass walk away, I was fully aware that I blew my chance at a kiss. I couldn’t decide if I was upset by that or not as my hormones raged out of control. I watched him until he walked up to a silver Prius. He turned back around and our eyes met across the parking lot. He smiled at me, and then he got in his car and drove away.
I stood rooted to the spot, not sure how he managed to leave me breathless with a kiss on the cheek and wondering what the fuck had just happened.
I texted Ty after I got home and changed into pajama pants, a t-shirt, and fuzzy slippers. I needed to release some of the pent up sexual frustration (not to mention my extreme confusion) from my evening with Reed.
You working tonight? I asked, content on my couch with a glass of wine (except for the ache between my legs after my date).
His reply came fifteen minutes later: Yep, closing.
I sighed wearily. I had work the next day. I hoped he’d be able to stop by for a quick fuck, but if he was closing, he wouldn’t get off until well after midnight.
My phone buzzed a few minutes later with another text from Ty. You coming by?
Who were we kidding? He wanted it, I wanted it, and we were good in bed together. But that’s all it was, and it’s all it would ever be. And besides, I just didn’t have the motivation to change out of my pajamas.
Can’t. Gotta work tomorrow.
It was a tired excuse; we’d gotten together plenty of times on a school night, but I didn’t want to make up a stupid excuse when the truth was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Reed.
And so there I was, horny and alone with a glass of wine after a surprising panty-melting encounter with Preppy. And as I slid my fingers into my panties to alleviate pressure that had been building there all night, it was Reed’s bright blue eyes on my mind, not Ty’s mysterious dark ones.
CHAPTER 6
It was too early for my damn alarm clock to be waking me up. As I squinted in the dark at the clock on my nightstand, I saw that it was 1:45. It wasn’t my alarm clock that was making all of that noise.
My cell rang to the accompaniment of someone pounding on my front door.
Is it weird that my first thought upon waking from a deep sleep in the middle of the night was of Reed?
But there it was. Those blue eyes. Nothing haunting or mysterious there except for the fact that I Could. Not. Get. Them. Out. Of. My. Head.
Only one person would be pounding on my door at 1:45, and the pounding on the door would inevitably end up with someone pounding into me.
I gulped down some water to get the sleepy breath out of my mouth, wishing it wasn’t a Sunday night so I could take my time with Talented Tyler. On my way through the kitchen toward my front door, I spotted a bottle of Jack Daniels on the counter. I took a quick shot of it.
Honestly, I wasn’t in the mood for sex that would ultimately make me feel like a cheap whore, but Ty was there and he’d certainly be expecting it, so, as usual, I’d deliver.
I opened the door, and there Ty stood. He leaned against my doorframe, supporting himself with both of his hands on the top of the frame. He wore ass hugging jeans and a black v-neck shirt. His thin torso stretched taut, and it made me want to leap at him. He looked delicious standing there like that, and suddenly I was wide awake as my eyes drank him in. His eyes were shaded and dark. He had stubble that looked several days old. Everything about him screamed MY TYPE. He was sex personified as he stood looking at me with lust and danger.
I leaned on the inside of the doorframe, wanting to wrap myself around him, wanting the comfort that he’d never give me, knowing where I could get it but fighting the idea with everything inside of me.
“Hey,” he said, his voice dangerous and low.
“Hey yourself,” I said, folding my arms across my chest. I shivered from the cold sweeping into my entryway from the hall.
“Are you going to invite me in?”
“Ty, what are you doing here?”
He flinched. “I think you can guess.” I noticed the slur on those words.
Great.
Not only was he here for a middle of the night booty call, but he was drunk, too.
“I think I can, too, but I’ve got to work in the morning.”
“Call in sick.” He lowered his arms from my doorframe and moved in closer to me.
“Why would I possibly do that?”
He nuzzled my neck before answering. “So we can spend the night fucking and then I’ll wake you up with some good morning sex.”
I moaned. I couldn’t help it. Ty was incredibly talented (hence the nickname Talented Ty). “So you’re staying the night?” I asked, my tone a betraying me with incredulity.
This was certainly a first.
“Yeah, babe. I’ll stay.”
I shrugged and turned, indicating that he should follow me. He did, slamming the door behind him and locking it. I walked toward my bedroom, and he followed close behind. He paused and helped himself to a shot from the bottle of Jack still sitting on my counter, and then he fell back into step behind me. The moment we stepped together through the doorway of my bedroom, he was all over me.
He crushed my body to his and his mouth slammed down over mine. He held my arms captive against his chest. The onset of panic edged into my mind, but I focused on his taste, sure he’d let me out of that close hold if I wanted him to. I tasted the whiskey fresh on his breath mixed with the flavor of cigarettes and a distant hint of marijuana.
I gave in. I was too tired to resist, and knowing that I could expect a night of pleasure made me forget that I had the ability to say no to him.
His tongue thrust into my mouth as his lips bruised mine. One of his hands came up to cup the back of my head while his other hand rested on my lower back, right on the top of my ass. His fingers tangled into my hair. He pulled on my hair roughly, the pain mixing with the pleasure of having this forceful man in my bedroom, wanting me. He took a step back and tore his shirt over his head. I grasped the hem of my shirt and pulled it off, too, and he smiled salaciously at me. He pulled me into his arms, his lips assaulting mine again as his hands ran slowly up my torso. He stopped short of my breasts and then he picked me up roughly.
And just as he tossed me on the bed, an image of bright blue eyes flashed through my mind, totally jarring me in the moment and throwing a wet blanket over my simmering libido.
Oh sweet Jesus, this was monumentally confusing.
I wanted Tyler, but even as I said that in my head, it felt like a hollow reminder.
I wanted a version of Tyler that didn’t exist. I wanted him to love me. I wanted him to care for me. I wanted him to hold me in his arms and comfort me. I wanted him to stay the night not because he was drunk or high or horny, but because he wanted to be with me.
But a bartender with little ambition to change his life would never settle for the English teacher who wanted a future with babies and a white picket fence. And maybe it was time to admit at least to myself that I was starting to want those things.
Maybe it was time for me to admit that there might be someone out there who wanted to give me those things, or at least who wanted to try for something more than meaningless sex with me.
I said “maybe.”
The truth of the m
atter was that in that moment, Ty was the hot body climbing over me to deliver pleasure. And as much as I knew that in the long run I deserved better – even that I wanted better – I wasn’t about to stop Ty when he was doing what he did best.
He pulled my pajama pants down my legs to reveal hot pink lacy boy short panties. He grinned up at me. Those panties always turned him on. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind, I had hoped this would happen that night. Whether I hoped it would be with Ty or with Reed remained to be seen.
He nuzzled my pussy, kissing me through my panties before sliding them to the side and sinking two fingers into me. He knew what I liked, and he knew how to make me come.
His tongue found my clit as his fingers worked inside of me, and my back bowed off the bed up toward his skilled mouth.
“Oh fuck,” I moaned, and he crawled up the bed toward me. He shoved his tongue in my mouth, and I tasted my arousal in his kiss. The eroticism of that turned me on even more, and I arched up again as he ground down into me.
He backed up off of me and stood, and I took in the view of Tyler standing in my bedroom in just a pair of jeans. The view was ridiculously sexy, and as he lowered his jeans, I moved toward him to take his hard cock between my lips.
His hand found the back of my head, and I took him to the back of my throat. He held my head in place, and I felt my eyes start to water as I couldn’t breathe with his cock jammed in my mouth. Just when I thought I was going to gag, he eased up and pulled out of my mouth before jamming back into me again. He repeated the motion over and over, fucking my mouth as I sat on the bed and took it. Finally he pulled out of my mouth, pulled on a condom, and lay down beside me on the bed. He urged me up on top of him, and then he positioned his head at my entrance before I lowered myself down onto him. His hands found my ass, and he lifted me up and down over him as he drove us both to the brink of pleasure.
Maybe it was random sex, but I wasn’t currently fucking anybody else. I supposed I couldn’t say the same for him, but as I moved closer to my climax, I really didn’t give a fuck if there was another woman or ten other women; he was with me, and that was all that mattered in my pleasure-induced haze.
