by Lisa Suzanne
“I’m just making sure you understand what you’re doing, Quinners. Juggling two men isn’t easy.”
“Take it from the expert,” I muttered.
“I totally heard that.”
“Sorry. This is just new to me and I’m trying to figure out what I want.”
“If it’s any help at all, I personally think it’s Reed you want.”
“Oh? Why’s that?”
“The way you look at him. The way you ditched Ty to make out with him. Little things like that.”
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Can we go dance?”
She nodded, and we made our way to the dance floor. I saw Reed watching me dance when I glanced in his direction. I saw Tyler watching me dance when I glanced toward the bar. But I refused to give either one of them the satisfaction of knowing I knew they were watching me.
But then, two (three?) Long Islands tended to dull the reflex of self-awareness.
Avery and I split a cab home after a long night of dancing. I managed to avoid both men for the remainder of the night, but after the cab dropped off Avery and I was alone and on my way home to my apartment, my phone buzzed with a text.
It was from Tyler.
Are you going to explain why you ditched me tonight?
I hadn’t planned on it, actually, but now I was trapped.
Sorry. Ran into a friend on my way to the restroom.
I know.
His reply was ominous. He knew I ran into a friend? Had he seen me with Reed?
Another text came through from him before I had the chance to form a coherent response.
I’m coming over after we close.
It was one of those tones that I read as “don’t fuck with me,” so I let it go, figuring it was best to let Ty come over and have it out with me when his shift was over.
Besides, I’d added another Long Island (or two?) to my total count for the night before all was said and done. I was most definitely drunk, and after the way Reed had riled me up over the last few days, I was one incredibly horny woman.
A little dose of Tyler no longer sounded like such a bad thing.
I paid the driver and stumbled into my apartment, collapsing on my couch. A glance at the clock on my phone told me that Ty would be at least another hour, so I had some time to kill.
And that was the last thought I had before sleep pulled me under its clutches.
The incessant banging on my door woke me. I was confused and groggy and still completely drunk and horny.
I shuffled over to the door and threw it open, and there was Talented Tyler looking sinful as fuck standing in front of me.
“Hey,” he said, his voice low and something else that my still drunken state wouldn’t let me place. It was almost tender, a stark contrast to the voice I usually heard out of the devilish man standing before me.
“Hey,” I said back, my voice shrill and harsh in the quiet stillness of my hallway. I was obviously at that state of intoxication where I couldn’t control the level of my voice.
I took his arm and pulled him into my apartment, slamming the door behind him. It was unlike me to take charge over Tyler. He was such a dominating force whenever the two of us got together, but he was acting timid.
Submissive.
I pushed him against the wall and heard a whoosh of his breath forced out of his body at my impact, and I smashed my lips to his. His hands rested on my arms as he gave in briefly to the kiss, and then he spun me around so I was trapped between him and the wall.
And that’s when the blurred edges of panic set in. My breathing became labored as I felt heat lick through my body and up to my face.
I struggled for a breath that wouldn’t come. It may have been the mix of the alcohol and the guilt I felt over what I was about to do with Tyler when Reed was still on my mind, but the anxiety that started to take over my body overwhelmed me.
I pushed hard against his chest, and Ty struggled backward. Freed from my confines, I sucked in huge gulps of cleansing air, and it was that moment that the Long Islands caught up with me.
I ran to my restroom with my hand over my mouth, slamming the door behind me for privacy and making it to my toilet just in time to expel the liquor coursing through my system.
Three times.
I heard a knock at the door. “Give me a minute,” I said, retching again as tears streamed down my face.
I stood shakily and rinsed my mouth with some water from the sink and then brushed my teeth. I washed my face, suddenly not caring if Tyler saw me when I wasn’t at my very best because I felt like absolute shit. I changed into the t-shirt and shorts I’d left in the bathroom that morning after I’d stripped out of them before my shower.
I opened the door, mortified that he heard me vomiting as he stood directly outside my bathroom. He was leaning against the wall in that way that he did, one foot balanced behind him on the wall. When he saw me, he stood up straight and crossed the small hallway to me.
“You okay?” he asked, a look of concern in those dark eyes.
I nodded. “Better now that it’s out, I guess.”
“Fucking bartenders at Strikers.” He grinned, and I managed a small smile.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
“Quinn, don’t apologize. I’m the one who should apologize.”
Wait a minute. Tyler was apologizing to me?
Surely this had to be a first. Tyler was unapologetic for all things in life. He was the one who compelled me to my knees to suck his dick. He was the one who demanded what he wanted and therefore got what he wanted.
He was callous, demanding, and arrogant.
He was dangerous, sinful, and a total asshole.
And he was apologizing to me?
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I know better than to trap you like that,” he said. “I did this to you.” He motioned to the bathroom.
“I did this to myself by drinking too many Long Islands, Ty.”
“Well I mixed them for you. I should’ve cut you off.”
“Can’t change it now,” I said, suddenly needing to lie down to make the room stop spinning. “I need to sit.”
He turned and led me down the hallway to my bedroom.
After what just happened, he still wanted to hook up? This guy really was the definition of a horny bastard.
I rolled my eyes as I followed him, but what choice did I have? He had come over for sex, and I was the one who had ditched him earlier. In a sense, I owed him one.
He flicked on the light while I got into my side of the bed. I watched as he pulled off his t-shirt, and damn if those little birdies on his torso matched with that cut six-pack of abs didn’t pull at the deepest desires inside of me.
I watched as he unbuckled his belt and then stripped out of his black jeans, leaving him in just his black underwear. He flicked off the light, ending the sensual show in front of me, and I felt the other side of the bed dip down as he got in. “Turn on your side,” he instructed, and I did.
And then I felt his arms wrap around me, his warmth comforting me in a way that Tyler had never comforted me before.
Tyler didn’t do comfort, yet as I felt his body meld closely against mine and his fingertips stroke gentle patterns across my ribs and down my stomach, something pulled inside of me with possibilities.
“You go to sleep,” he murmured, still stroking that rhythmic pattern against my skin.
“We’re not going to…?” I trailed off, unsure how to phrase what I really wanted to ask.
“Not tonight, baby.”
“Lock the door when you leave,” I murmured sleepily. “There’s an extra key on the kitchen counter. I’ll pick it up tomorrow at Strikers.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Quinn. I’ll be here when you wake up. And then we’ll talk.”
I drifted off to those words, unsure if I had dreamt them or if he had really said them.
CHAPTER 12
The first coherent thought that made its way through my poun
ding head was that I had a date with Reed that night. I smiled despite the nausea permeating my system as I stretched in my bed, and when my arm ran into a solid mass of muscle, I froze for a second.
And then I remembered.
Tyler.
Vomiting.
His words before I drifted off to sleep the night before.
He hadn’t lied; he was still here with me, and once he woke up, I was pretty sure he was going to want to talk.
Twice the night before he had mentioned that he wanted to talk, but clearly I was not in the correct frame of mind for a discussion.
But now I was coherent and awake and really, really curious. I gazed over at the sleeping Tyler. Even in his sleep he looked mischievous, though not as rugged as he did when he was awake and I was staring into those dark and stormy eyes of his.
He’d tossed the covers off of his body at some point during the night, and I gazed down at his perfect torso marked with tattoos. We’d never talked about his tattoos, but I was suddenly curious what each one meant and why he’d gotten them.
Did this mean I was maturing?
I suddenly cared about Tyler as a person, not just as a fuck buddy. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to know why he was the way he was. Who had turned his heart cold and who had made him shut off the real possibilities of intimacy with a woman?
Because the Tyler who took care of me the night before, the one who held me against him as I drifted to sleep, had real possibilities. I remembered back to a time when he told me how much he loved fucking me and how I thought that sex was all he’d ever love about me. After last night, I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.
And that thought confused the hell out of me.
Waking up with one man on my mind and another in my bed, regardless of the circumstances of the night before, felt wrong to me. I could see myself falling for Reed, even though it was early in the game for us. But Tyler had been sending me all of these odd signals over the past few days, and I was anxious for him to wake up so we could have the talk that he wanted to have with me.
I wasn’t sure where my feelings for Tyler stood. I had always written him off as nothing more than a sexual partner, but I was just beginning to see him in an entirely different light.
He groaned and turned, and then his sleepy eyes met mine. His eyes that were always dark and mysterious looked bright and somehow innocent in the morning light. I saw clarity there, something that rocked through me from this man who was always so confusing to me.
“Good morning,” he rasped, his eyes still boring into mine. Mother of all things holy if that wasn’t the hottest damn sound I’d ever heard.
“Morning,” I said, my own voice scratchy from the events of the night before.
“Feeling any better?” he flipped so he was lying on his stomach facing me.
I nodded. “Except for this pounding headache.”
He leaned up on one elbow and gingerly ran his fingers across my forehead. “Where does it hurt?” he asked.
“Everywhere.”
His fingers moved to one of my temples, and then he twirled some of my hair around as his eyes roved over my face, studying every centimeter he found in front of him. His eyes focused on my lips. “She is fucking stunning even in the morning,” he said, his voice soft. He mused quietly to himself, almost like he was talking and didn’t want me to hear, but I couldn’t help but listen to his words. “Hung over, face free of make-up, hair wild. Still beautiful.”
He sighed, and I sighed right along with him, confusion making its way into my eyes over morning Tyler versus the Tyler I was used to dealing with.
His eyes moved to mine. “Can I get you anything?”
I shook my head, trying not to allow my utter shock at his tender display show in my eyes. I winced as I shook my head. “I’ve got painkillers in the cabinet. I’ll get them.”
“You sure?” he asked.
I nodded, wincing again, and then got out of bed. I must’ve stood up too fast, because I felt lightheaded as I grabbed onto my dresser for support. Ty moved to my side in a second, his arm around my back and holding onto my hip for support.
“Quinn, lay back down. I’ll get your pills.”
“I’m fine. I just stood up too fast.” Once again, I had to hide my shock at this newfound affectionate side of him.
I extracted myself from Tyler and went to my kitchen, where I found a bottle of painkillers from when I’d had my wisdom teeth removed the year before. I briefly debated between the actual painkillers and some ibuprofen, and I decided that the painkillers would make quicker work of the pounding ache in my head. I took two and washed them down with some diet Coke, needing an immediate rush of caffeine to ward off the lasting effects of the Long Islands.
Tyler appeared at my counter a few minutes later, and he watched me move around the kitchen as I put on a pot of coffee, diet Coke in hand.
“Need anything?” I asked.
One side of his mouth lifted in a smile. “You’re a funny girl, Quinn.”
I looked over at him and quirked my eyebrows.
“Diet Coke while you’re making coffee?”
“I couldn’t wait.”
“I guess there are worse addictions than caffeine.” His eyes turned dark for a moment.
“So what did you want to talk about?” I asked. It was the elephant in the room, so I figured we might as well address it.
He glanced up at me awkwardly. “I uh…” he trailed off, and then he restarted again. “I don’t think I can have this conversation before coffee.”
I handed him my can of soda. “Instant gratification.”
“We have to share? I don’t get my own can?”
“Ty, you’ve been inside of me. We can share a can of soda.”
“Touché,” he said, taking the can from my hand and chugging what was left in it.
I rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t done with that, asshole.”
He grinned, and I went to the fridge to get another one while I waited impatiently for my coffee to brew.
“Alright. You’re caffeinated. Now talk.”
His grin widened, his eyes uncharacteristically playful. “Demanding little thing, aren’t you?”
“Tyler, I’m too hung over to banter with you. What do you want to talk about?”
He took a deep breath, the playfulness leaving his eyes as they clouded back over with the mystery I had grown accustomed to.
“Quinn, I have rehearsed this a hundred times in my head, and I’m still not sure how to say this.”
“You’re making me nervous. Just say it.”
He took another deep breath. “I don’t want to be fuck buddies anymore.”
My hand flew to my throat in surprise. Well, problem solved. He didn’t want to be fuck buddies, so that made my choice between Tyler and Reed a whole lot easier.
Easier, that is, until I heard the next words that came out of his mouth.
I took a sip of diet Coke to cover the emotions I felt over ending this thing that Ty and I had going. What we had wasn’t healthy, and I knew that nine times out of ten it was more about him than it was about me. But I liked him. It saddened me that it was over between us even though I knew it had never been headed anywhere.
“Okay, Ty. I get it.”
“No, I don’t think you do get it.”
I stood in the kitchen, and he stood on the other side of the counter. He moved around the counter and walked over to me. He took both of my hands in his, and his eyes met mine. His were clear and sincere. “I want more with you, baby.”
“You want more?” I repeated, sure I hadn’t heard him correctly.
“With you,” he confirmed.
What. The. Fuck.
Seriously?
I sighed and dropped his hands.
“Ty, I’m not—”
He cut me off. “Quinn, don’t answer me now. Think about it. I know I haven’t treated you well, but you have to let me explain some things.”
I backed away sl
owly, suddenly needing that coffee. The diet Coke wasn’t strong enough for me. Come to think of it, I wasn’t sure coffee would be strong enough for this conversation. Maybe coffee with tequila in it.
“Haven’t treated me well? Tyler, I like you. But I don’t want to get into a relationship.”
It was a total, complete lie considering that I was just considering trying that very thing with Reed.
“What we have together is amazing. You can’t deny that.”
“Yeah, Ty, it is. When you care enough to give me the time of day. When you stay awake long enough to take care of my needs. When you’re not kicking me out and sending me home with fucking cab fare and making me feel like a cheap slut.”
“No, Quinn. Never. You’re not a cheap slut.”
“I know that. But you love to treat me like one. And I’m strong enough to know that a relationship with you would kill me.”
“That’s a little harsh.”
“Truth hurts?”
His eyes darkened again, a cloud overtaking the clarity I’d seen there. “Do you know what it’s like to tell someone that you’re falling for them only to be rejected?”
I nodded. “Yeah, Ty. Unfortunately, I do. And that’s what bonds the two of us together. That’s why neither of us wants more. Right?” The coffeepot beeped, signaling that my morning provisions were ready; but neither of us moved.
“Wrong. I want more.”
“Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Honestly?”
“I wouldn’t expect you to be anything but honest with me.”
“Because I saw you with him.”
And suddenly it was all clear. “You saw me with Reed?”
“I saw you last weekend at Strikers. I saw the way you looked at him. I saw the way he looked at you. And I realized that I had been an idiot. I have treated you like shit, and you deserve more.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Look, Quinn. I’ve been in a lot of crappy relationships, and that’s why I didn’t want to complicate things with feelings. But I can’t help it. You’re this amazing, funny, crude, smart woman, and I can’t help the way I feel. Things fucking got complicated the minute I realized that I was thinking about you when we weren’t together.”
I turned away from him. This was all just a little much for me. So Tyler was falling for me, I was falling for Reed, who knew how Reed felt…
