“I didn’t bring enough money, Connor, not for all of this. I’d assumed we’d stay somewhere else.”
He shook his head. “We already discussed that topic this morning. I’m paying for the trip, including the rooms and meals.” He crossed the room to the ornate door. “I’ll collect you in half an hour. We’ll have something to eat, and then you can get some sleep.”
“But you’ve already done so much, including taking Emily to school this morning.”
“Another subject we already discussed.” He stepped into the hallway. “I’ll check on Rachel and Tina and be back in half an hour.”
The door shut before she could say more. Not surprising. Her mind was as hopeless as her heart. Neither had been working correctly all day. He’d been kind and generous to Tina and Rachel while driving today, stopping so they could get out and stretch their legs, use powder rooms and take care of anything else that came about, especially with Annie.
He’d never once appeared irritated or short-tempered when Annie had a fussy time, and had stopped the car and gotten out when Rachel had needed to nurse the baby so she had more privacy, and they had talked about Emily. Including how he’d asked Mrs. Whipple to send the telephone that Emily was so enamored with home with her so it would keep her mind off them being gone.
Jenny plopped down on the bed and began removing her white gloves one finger at a time. That wasn’t all. When he’d returned to pick them up this morning, he’d also opened his trunk and given Gretchen several stuffed animals for Emily. The others in her bear book. He’d charmingly asked Gretchen to give them to Emily one at a time, so she’d continue to have new things to keep her busy the next couple of days.
All in all, everything Connor did made her fall deeper and deeper in love with him. That’s what was happening. She recognized the same feelings she’d had years ago for him. They’d never truly gone away, and his own way, he’d cultivated them until they were now blossoming like flowers in spring.
She wasn’t prepared for that to happen.
It would have too many consequences.
She stood and walked into the private powder room, removed her hat, combed her hair and left it hanging loose while using one of the soft washcloths to wash her face and then reapply her lipstick.
A knock sounded on the door as she was about to pin her hair up again. Thirty minutes couldn’t have gone past yet. After leaving the bathroom, she crossed the room and pulled open the door.
“Can you believe this place?” Rachel asked. “I’ve never seen anything so gorgeous.” She hooked her blond hair behind one ear while looking down at the cherub face of her daughter sleeping in her arms. “I’m just sorry that Annie isn’t old enough to remember this.”
“It is a beautiful hotel,” Jenny agreed, holding the door wide as Rachel, carrying Annie and closely followed by Tina, entered the room.
“Our room has two beds and a crib,” Tina said. “And the pillows are so soft. Have you tried one yet?”
The excitement on both of their faces was enchanting. “No, I haven’t,” Jenny replied. “Are you ready to go down to the dining room?”
The two looked at each other.
“What is it?” Jenny asked, growing concerned.
“We wanted to ask if it would be all right if we tried the room service. Calling downstairs and having food sent to the room sounds so air tight,” Tina said. “I’ll probably never, ever, get the chance to try it again.”
“And Annie could wake up downstairs and start to fuss, and—”
Jenny laughed. “Yes. Yes, you can try the room service. It does sound absolutely wonderful.” She’d find a way to repay Connor the cost, for he truly had done enough already.
Tina clapped her hands. She had blossomed the past week, no longer looked thin and pale. Even her long brown hair had gained a shine. “Thank you so much. You can join us if you want to.”
“No, I wouldn’t want Connor to eat alone, but you two order whatever you want, and enjoy it.”
“Thank you, Jenny.” Rachel placed a kiss on Annie’s forehead. “For bringing us here, I truly hope we can change things for other girls.”
“We will,” Jenny said. “I’m sure of it.”
They spent a few moments discussing the meeting with the senator that would happen tomorrow, including the number of letters that Gretchen had spent most of Sunday driving around collecting that had been obtained by other women. She not only had hope; she had a solid belief that this time, something would be done. Connor was the reason.
The girls returned to their room, and she’d just replaced the navy-blue pill hat that matched her white-and-blue dress when a knock sounded on her door again. Pressing a hand to her chest, where her heart was once again beating faster than normal, she walked to the door. As much as she shouldn’t be, she was looking forward to being alone with Connor.
Even though she’d sat next to him for hours in the car, her stomach fluttered at the sight of him when she pulled open the door. He’d added a red tie around the neck of the cloud-white shirt beneath the black-and-white-pinstriped suit he’d worn all day. The front buttons of the jacket were undone, revealing the black silk vest that she’d admired.
He was so downright handsome in every way, all the time.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes.” She stepped into the hallway, and trying not to focus on how much she enjoyed the feeling of his hand on her back whenever he walked beside her, she said, “The girls wanted to try room service.”
“They seemed very intrigued with it,” he said.
“When did they mention it to you?”
“When I checked to see if they were happy with their room. I wanted to make sure the crib I’d requested had been put in there.”
“You requested the crib?”
“Yes, Annie needed a place to sleep. I requested it when I reserved the rooms yesterday.”
There truly was no end to his thoughtfulness.
“Would you rather try room service instead of eating in the dining room? We can if you prefer.”
She coughed against the way her heart leaped into her throat. “No.” The word burned as it came out. She wasn’t made of stone and eating alone with him in a hotel room could very well prove that. Her lips had been tingling all day, remembering kissing him and wanting to do it again, and every time he’d looked at her, even just a casual glance, her insides melted. Having his arms wrapped around her was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
The elevator ride, being confined with him in the small, caged space, had her heart in her throat again, and she had to lock her knees to keep from leaning against him. There was a three-way debate going on inside her. Every ounce of her body wanted to touch his, be touched by him, proclaiming he was what made her feel alive. Her heart thudded wildly, proclaiming a love it had only ever felt toward him, and her mind was busy trying to convince her heart and body that what they wanted could never be.
But it was losing.
His hand remained on the center of her back, sending swirls of warmth throughout her system as they exited the elevator and traversed to the dining room. The absence of his touch when she sat down made her sigh at the loss. It was as if his touch represented what she wanted for the rest of her life.
She knew that was impossible. If Connor ever discovered who Emily’s father was, he’d hate both of them. But even that didn’t stop the yearning. It simply made her body and heart fight harder against her mind.
He talked about the meeting tomorrow as they ate. She answered his questions and asked her own, despite the emotions playing havoc inside her to the point it was difficult to breathe. He’d only been back in her life a few weeks, and had turned everything topsy-turvy. She wanted things to change for the girls, for the home to be held accountable for their actions and behaviors. It was the things inside her that were disconcerting.
> “Shall we take a walk?” he asked as their empty plates were removed from the table. “After driving all day, it’ll feel good.”
Jenny agreed, hoping the fresh air would clear her mind, perhaps even allow some common sense to return.
They exited the massive hotel through the ornate front doors beneath the decorative canvas awning stretched along the front of the building that reached high into the sky. Though night had fallen, there were so many streetlights, building lights and headlights on the vehicles driving along the wide road, that it was nearly as bright as day.
“We’ll walk this way for a few blocks,” Connor said, his hand again on her back.
The hotel was built on the corner of the block, its massive front doors facing the crossroads of two roads that allowed for four lanes of traffic, beside parking along the curbs that separated the streets from the wide sidewalk. There were other people on the sidewalks, couples, groups of people and those walking alone. Connor’s hand slid across her back and hooked her side, keeping her closer to him as they strolled along.
It had been years since she’d been in a city at night—other than Albany the night he’d taken her—and she’d forgotten that there were other night sounds than the ones she’d grown used to. Here the chirping of crickets and leaves rustling in the wind had been replaced with people conversing, horns honking, tires crunching, motors rumbling and even a far-off siren of a police car.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe,” Connor said.
“I’m not worried. I was just listening. It’s been a long time since I heard the sound of a city at night.”
“Do you miss it?”
“I’m not sure,” she admitted. There was a theatre across the street, with a line of women wearing fancy hats and evening gowns and men hosting top hats and tails on their suit coats. Since Emily had started school, the idea of her daughter attending a larger school, where she would have more friends, more opportunities within the school and the community, had been in the back of Jenny’s mind, but there would be consequences for that to happen. “I like Twin Pines.”
Connor graced her with one of his signature teasing grins. “There are good, home-grown people there.”
“Yes, there are,” she agreed.
“Emily certainly enjoys her school.” He gestured to a bench affixed to the sidewalk for people to wait for one of the many city buses. “Shall we sit down?”
She agreed and once seated, said, “Emily does enjoy her school there, but I do worry about when she gets older. I’ll have to transport her back and forth to Syracuse every day.”
“Is your plan to continue to live with Gretchen?”
A tiny shiver rippled over her. “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?”
He shrugged. “You are such a phenomenal midwife, I assumed you’d want to continue.”
“I will. Why wouldn’t I?”
“There’s no reason not to, it’s just that once the laws are changed, young women won’t need to run away from the home.”
The truth of that rattled her insides. She hadn’t thought that far ahead. Gretchen would still need help with the flowers, but she loved delivering babies, and there weren’t so many delivered around Twin Pines that Alice would need her help.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” Connor asked.
“Yes,” she answered, knowing her answer would depend on the question.
“Has Emily ever met her father?”
“No.” That was the easiest question she’d ever had to answer, until another thought collided inside her jumbling head. “Did she say something this morning?”
He shifted, faced her and laid an arm along the back of the bench. “She asked me where my house was, and if any children lived there.”
That didn’t surprise her, but it should have been something she’d considered when allowing him to give Emily a ride to school this morning.
“And that she wished she had a father like the other children at her school,” he added.
Jenny fretted, wondering exactly how she should respond. He wouldn’t accept vague answers as easily as Emily. He’d told her the truth about going to New York, and it was time she told him the truth. Even the parts she’d just discovered herself. “What happened between Emily’s father and I was a foolish, one-time, act of revenge. I’ve never seen him since that night.” Lifting her gaze to meet his, she knew it was time to admit things she’d never wanted to acknowledge. “The other day, when you said that children want attention. That was me. When my father died, it became just me and my mother. I had her full attention. That changed when she married Richard, and I hated that. Hated him. I was very rude to him, and when my mother would talk to me about it, I was rude to her. I was invited to travel with them, and refused, challenged my mother to choose between him and me every time they went out of town.”
The truth of just how obstinate she’d been to her mother and Richard was hitting hard inside her. Because it was the truth. One she’d never dared face.
“Losing their father and gaining another one would have been hard on any child,” he said. “Your mother should have understood that.”
Jenny opened her mouth to respond, but closed it again because her mother had tried to talk to her about it, but she’d refused to listen. Many times. Even the night she’d dropped her off at the home in Albany. Her mother had said she was sorry that night, about how far apart they’d grown. How there wasn’t anything more that she could do, and that Jenny had finally gotten her wish.
Jenny’s insides quivered at the memory, because she had told her mother that she couldn’t wait to leave Richard’s house for good.
There were other things she had to face, too. “I was very insecure, very immature, when we knew each other. If you had told me about going to New York before you had, I would have begged you not to go. Challenged you just like I had my mother, because with you, I’d had what I’d wanted again. Full attention, and I was in my glory. Every girl wanted to be me.” She closed her eyes at the pain encircling her heart. “I was too immature to understand how wrong, how selfish, I’d behaved.”
“We were both young and immature, and have learned a lot since then.” Connor touched the side of her face. “My feelings for you were...” He shook his head. “Still are more than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone. I wasn’t ready for that back then, Jenny, and I’m not expecting you to feel the same way, but I would like a chance for us to explore our feelings for one another.”
His fingertip caressed the nape of her neck, quickening her pulse, and making her toes curl inside her shoes, yet she shook her head. “It’s not that simple, Connor.”
* * *
Connor had wrestled with several things since finding Jenny again, and he’d come to several conclusions. The most specific one while giving Emily a kiss on her forehead when leaving her at the school this morning. “It is for me,” he said. “I’m done looking back. I want to look forward, and I’m hoping the future could include you and Emily.”
In the weeks since he’d pulled into her driveway to sell a phone line, he’d been jealous, angry and curious about who Emily’s father was, but now, he didn’t care. He just wanted to be her father going forward, and Jenny’s husband. If she wasn’t ready for that, he’d wait. Because someday she would be. “I won’t push you, won’t force anything on you, or Emily—I’ll just be here, waiting to see if your old feelings for me can come back.”
She pressed three fingers to her lips and closed her eyes. “Those old feelings have never gone away, Connor. Even when I tried to make them.”
He didn’t know what a heart attack felt like, but something struck his right then, filled it so full it was about to explode. Running a finger along the side of her face, he asked, “Do you have any idea how badly I want to kiss you right now?”
With the tiniest of giggles, she leaned closer, lining up their lips as she wh
ispered, “Is it as badly as I want you to kiss me?”
His hand slipped around the back of her neck, holding her face right where it was as his lips touched hers, softly at first, then more firmly.
She returned his kiss, until the honking of a horn made her pull back. “We are sitting on a street corner.”
“I know,” he answered. What he wanted to do was haul her up to his hotel room and shut the door, close out the rest of the world for a good long time. That couldn’t happen tonight, but hope filled him that it could happen someday soon. “I also know it’s time for you to get some sleep, so you’ll be ready for the meeting tomorrow.” She’d been up half the night delivering a baby, and though she’d closed her eyes during the drive to the city, she hadn’t slept.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
This was the reason they were in New York, for the girls to share their stories with Senator Hughes, and Connor was proud of how proficiently Rachel and Tina talked about the plights they’d faced. It was emotional for both of them, but their strength shone through.
So did Jenny’s. He was particularly proud of her. In so many ways he’d lost count. He’d also lost count of all the things he loved about her while lying in his bed last night, imagining the time when he wouldn’t be alone in his bed. He’d love her and Emily until the end of time. Nothing would ever change that.
“I want to thank you for coming to see me,” Brent Hughes said, nodding at Rachel and Tina.
They were all sitting around a small, round table in one of the many conference rooms at the hotel, and the senator, a man in his early fifties or so with salt-and-pepper hair and black horned glasses, had been taking copious notes while each of the girls, and Jenny, had spoken. She’d shared that she’d been at the home years ago, but had emphasized what was happening now, girls being hunted down by dogs and locked up like prisoners.
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