Bern rolled from the bed and strode to the bathroom. He flipped on the light, then ran cold water in the sink to splash his face. Grabbing a towel, he dried off and stared at his reflection. He looked like hell, his eyes sunken, dark circles, cheeks hollow, skin sallow. He told himself it was the lighting, but he resembled a skull, his flesh stretched across his bones.
Standing there, he heard Jake, Susan, too, all their reincarnation babble. Souls traveled through lives together, a core group. They weren’t always family, they weren’t even the same gender every time, but they were always close, impacting each other’s lives. A mother, wife, brother, uncle, child, friend, lover, nemesis, boss, priest. If he’d been with Livie in the past, then Toni had been there, too. And he was pretty damn sure she’d been a bitch every time he encountered her. She oozed evil. She infected everything.
Now she was back with a vengeance.
* * * * *
Livie could barely open her eyes beyond slits. She’d woken twice with nightmares, and in the morning, she’d found her cheeks wet with tears. She couldn’t remember the dream, but she knew Bern had been in it.
Her steps felt like barely more than a shuffle as she crossed the parking lot to her carport. She unlocked with a chirp of the remote. Yanking on the back door, she laid her briefcase on the seat, then opened the driver’s door. She leaned in, ready to toss her purse onto the passenger seat.
And screamed.
Trying to back out, she smacked her head on the top of the car, then stumbled on her high heels and almost fell. It was there on the driver’s seat, ready to jump on her, to bite her, kill her. Long, black, slithery, slimy. She slammed the car door, almost catching her fingers in it.
“Are you all right, ma’am?”
She whirled, her mouth open, her breath chuffing. She was afraid she might scream again. A short gnome of a man, his skin was wrinkled like an apple that had shriveled in the sun, but his eyes were a startlingly clear blue.
Livie pointed, swallowed, found her voice. “A snake. On my car seat.”
He smiled, his teeth a little yellowed. “Oh my. And you don’t like snakes.”
She took two breaths in quick succession, then managed “No. Are you afraid of them?”
“I’ve seen enough snakes in the grass not to be scared anymore. Would you like me to remove it?”
“God, yes, please.” She could have cried with relief.
“It would be my pleasure.”
She stepped back, far out of the way so she wouldn’t have to see it.
He opened her door, and in a moment he was walking to the edge of the shrubbery. Livie held her purse against her defensively. She’d wanted him to kill it, in case it came back, but he let it slither away into the bushes.
“Thank you,” she said as he approached her once more.
“It was just a harmless garden snake. Now how do you suppose that little fellow got in your car?” He gazed into the interior. “Probably climbed up through one of the vents.”
No. That wasn’t how it got there. Livie closed the door. “Thanks for rescuing me.”
“It was a pleasure to help out a lady.” He tipped an imaginary hat to her, then pattered down the lane to the street. Out for his morning constitutional, she assumed.
Tucking her skirt under her, Livie sat on the curb across from her car. Rolling her lips between her teeth, she bit down lightly. Thank God it had been on the seat when she opened the door. If she’d been driving and it had suddenly slithered across her lap... She shuddered. Like a little girl, her eyes stung. She couldn’t get back in that car. What if there was another one under the seat? Or in the back? She should have asked the little man to check. But even if he’d found nothing, she still wouldn’t have been able to get in her car.
She gritted her teeth, but tears pricked at her eyes. It was so goddamn pathetic. She was thirty-five years old, but she felt like the terrified child she’d once been, screaming for her mother to pick the snakes out of her bed.
Toni was two years younger; she couldn’t have put those snakes in Livie’s bed all those years ago. But she’d damn well put that garden snake on Livie’s front seat last night. Toni had a set of keys. It hadn’t crawled in through any air vent.
Livie had given in, but Toni had punished her anyway. It was the proverbial straw on the camel’s back, breaking everything in two.
“I will not let you do this to me,” she muttered through gritted teeth. “I’m done. It’s over. No more.” She would not let Toni manipulate her again.
“Go ahead and slash your wrists, but it won’t work.” Toni didn’t want to die; she wanted to tie Livie to her, bind her with guilt. She had for years. And Livie let her.
“I won’t give up Bern for you.”
Just saying the words, she felt stronger. Digging in her purse pocket, she pulled out her cell phone, retrieved the number from one of his calls, and hit Send. She would give him his own speed dial. In fact, she’d replace Toni’s with his.
“Livie?” She’d swear his voice cracked.
“Could you come get me, Bern?”
“Where are you?” He didn’t ask why, no explanation required, no apology necessary.
“I’ll be waiting on the sidewalk outside my place,” she told him.
“I’ll be right there.”
He would be. She could count on him.
Livie shoved the phone back into her purse, rose, then stalked to her car. She needed her briefcase. And she would not be afraid of retrieving it from the backseat. Okay, she was afraid. Crawly things had always terrified her. They always would.
Maybe she could do something about that the same way Bern had quit smoking. She needed to find out the real reason reptiles scared her. And banish the fear forever.
Chapter Sixteen
I’m sorry for walking out on you last night.
That had been the first thing out of Livie’s mouth when Bern picked her this morning. He’d wanted to kiss her senseless.
I want your sister to hypnotize me and get rid of my fear of snakes. That had been the second thing she’d said. Then she’d told him about the snake in her car, how she was sure Toni had put it there.
He’d never hit a woman, but he’d wanted to punch Toni right then.
But Livie was done with her sister. at least for now. He wasn’t sure what would happen the next time Toni called her in need, but he’d deal with that when it happened.
For now, they were here at his sister’s.
Suze showed them into her home office. She had an office suite in downtown Palo Alto, but when Bern had called her this morning, she’d told him to come to the house for dinner. She wanted to get to know Livie before she put her under.
His sister had allowed the boys to eat in the kitchen while the adults talked, though Livie had taken time to fawn over their dog, Roark. She’d heard so much about him, she’d said. Then Suze’s husband Noble had taken care of the dishes, the dog walk, and the bedtime rituals. His sister hadn’t taken his last name since she’d gotten her medical license under the name of Susan Daniels. Maybe that was a good thing; Susan Price might put the wrong image into a patient’s mind. Though it had never seemed to hurt Noble’s psychiatric practice.
“Are you sure you want my brother with us?” Suze’s voice was gentler now than it had been over dinner, her doctor voice. Though he and his brothers were tall, Suze barely topped five-four. She was younger than him by five years, but she’d cultivated the gray in her hair, as if it gave her patients more confidence in her. She wore small wire-rimmed glasses rather than contacts, again, he suspected, to foster confidence.
Livie looked at him, something soft brimming in her eyes. “Yes, I want him here.”
She couldn’t possibly know how she affected him by bestowing her trust on him.
Suze nodded in acceptance. “Would you like to sit or lie down?” She indicated one of the two chairs, then the sofa. The room was nicely appointed with plush, comfortable furniture, a desk, her computer, bookca
ses filled with both medical tomes and fiction works, certificates on the wall. It was what he expected a pricey—pun intended—psychiatrist’s office should be.
“Don’t people need to lie down?” Livie wanted to know.
Suze laughed. “You don’t fall during hypnosis.”
She’d explained the basic process over dinner, that Livie would be aware of what was happening and remember it, if she chose. It wasn’t dangerous when done by a professional. It could also be the fastest way to reach the defining moment in Livie’s life which had produced her nightmares, especially since she didn’t appear to be suffering from any other psychiatric symptoms. They didn’t talk about past life regression. He hadn’t told his sister about his suspicions. Besides, Suze had wanted to go into this thing knowing as little as possible so she didn’t direct Livie. It was counterintuitive since psychiatrists were endless questioners, but that’s how she’d wanted it for this session.
“I’ll be more comfortable lying down,” Livie said, removing her shoes and placing them neatly by the edge of the sofa. When she was reclining, she tucked her skirt neatly around her thighs. “What do I do with my hands?”
Bern noticed a slight tremble in her fingers. She was nervous. He wanted to touch her, but he was only here to observe.
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” Suze told her as she pulled one of the chairs to a spot near Livie’s head. “Just imagine that you’re going to sleep.”
Livie clasped her hands on her abdomen. “Okay. I’m ready.”
“What about me?” he asked.
“Sit wherever you want.” Suze gave him a look, and he realized she would have preferred to do this without him.
Bern dragged the other chair close, needing the proximity probably more than Livie did. In a way, she was doing this for him, for them, especially after what had happened with her sister the night before.
“Now close your eyes, Livie,” Suze instructed.
Livie gave him one last look. Bern let his answer shine through his gaze. I won’t let anything hurt you.
Suze began with a relaxation technique. “I want you to relax your fingers, then your hands, then the muscles in your arms.” Her voice was low, soothing. She moved on to Livie’s feet and legs. She’d used the same method for Bern, and he felt himself relaxing now.
When Livie was breathing deeply, her body seemingly boneless on the sofa, Suze started the regression. “We want to go back to the time when you started being afraid of snakes. I want you to imagine a long set of stairs leading down, down, down. Do you see them, Livie?”
“Yes,” she answered softly.
“Tell me what the stairs look like.”
“Spiral. Short metal steps.”
“Good, Livie. I want you to start walking down those stairs. Hold onto the railing to keep yourself steady and imagine that you’re getting younger and younger. Tell me when you reach the door at the bottom.” This last bit firmly planted that the door was the destination.
Livie was silent a long time. Then finally she said in a soft, childlike voice. “It’s cold and dark down here. I don’t like it.”
“I know you don’t, Livie. But I’m here with you. You don’t need to be scared. What does the door say, Livie?”
Bern wanted to tell her he was with her, too, but he didn’t want to disturb the trance.
Livie choked off a sob. “The truth about snakes.” Then she rolled onto her side, pulling her knees up as if she were curling in on herself. She clasped her hands protectively in front of her, just like a child.
“Let’s open the door together and find out what’s behind it, Livie. Put your hand out.”
Livie physically reached for the door only she could see, twisting the knob. Then, after a fast, deep breath, she yanked and pulled her hand back against her chest.
“Where are you, Livie?”
“In my room,” she whispered. Her lips pouted, and the muscles of her face relaxed into a childlike mien.
Suze’s voice was almost as soft. “How old are you?”
Livie held up three fingers in an age-old gesture, then clutched her hands close to her chest again. Her feet began to shift. She rubbed them together, as if she wanted to run but couldn’t move. “Please get them out.” The small voice was laced with tears.
“Get what out, Livie? From where?”
She continued to rub her feet together, the movements crawling up her legs, her knees rubbing, her legs quaking.
“The snakes. They’re at the bottom of my bed. I need my mommy. She picks them out. Please, Mommy, make them go away.” Now she started to cry. No tears trailed from her eyes, but the sob was in her voice. “They’re hurting me. Please take them away.”
Bern couldn’t stand it, laying his hand on her foot, the only part of her he could touch. Her skin was hot beneath his fingers.
Almost immediately, Livie calmed, her frantic movements easing away.
“Interesting,” Suze said to him softly. “You have a soothing effect.” Then she turned back to Livie. “I want you to back away from the emotion. You’ll be able to see it all, but you won’t be afraid. Do you understand me, Livie?”
Livie sniffed, then nodded.
“Good. You can see everything, but you’re not hurt or afraid. Tell me what you see.”
“Mommy’s picking the snakes out of my bed. She’s taking every single one and throwing it away. I feel better now that they’re gone. But Toni’s watching me from her crib. I don’t like the way she looks at me. She always looks at me mean. I don’t know why I have to sleep in here with her. She likes it when the snakes get me.”
“Who is Toni?” Suze asked.
“My sister. She hates me.”
“Is she your baby sister?”
“Yes. She just had her first birthday party. And all she did was eat the wrapping paper.” Livie snickered.
“How can she hate you if she’s only a year old?”
“She’s always hated me. Forever and ever.”
This time Suze looked at him, her eyebrow raised. Toni had hated her forever. He’d known that in his gut.
“How did the snakes get in your bed?”
“Mommy says it’s just my ’magination.” She cut off the word as if she couldn’t manage all of it. “But I remember them coming for me,” she said. Her brow furrowed, and her lips pulled together mutinously. “I remember it all. Mommy doesn’t believe me.”
“Bleed-through memories,” Suze said as an aside.
Bern was familiar with the term. In reincarnation theory, small children often had dreams that were memories bleeding through from their previous life. In time, they would forget, all traces wiped clean.
“So this isn’t the first time snakes scared you.”
Livie shook her head emphatically with a child’s exaggeration.
“Do you remember the time before when they scared you?”
Livie frowned. “No. Not really.”
“Why don’t I help you? Let’s take the stairs down again. Let’s move to that previous time when you were frightened by the snakes. Are you walking down the stairs, Livie?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded. “Have to be careful,” she murmured.
“Good girl. Is there another door down there?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What does it say?”
“The real truth.” A hint of fear laced her voice, a slight quiver in the words.
“Do you want to go through the door?”
Livie was silent for several seconds, a line between her eyebrows as if she was concentrating hard. Then she answered. “I think so. Hadden wants me to.”
“Who’s Hadden?”
“My friend.”
“Well, then, let’s go see Hadden.”
Without further prompting, Livie made the same gesture she had before, stretching out her hand, twisting the unseen knob.
“What do you see?”
“I’m on the dock with my feet in the water. It’s warm and the water feels good.
I like it out here.”
“How old are you?”
“Five.”
She’d been three, then gone deeper, yet now she was five. Jesus. Could it be a past life? Was it actually possible? He’d believed…and yet he hadn’t. He wasn’t sure he did even now.
“Do you know what year it is?” Suze asked.
“I’m five,” Livie said again, as if she didn’t understand.
Suze compressed her lips in disappointment and moved on. “What’s your name?”
“Chad,” Livie said, and Bern noticed an accent in her voice, something slightly southern.
“You’re a little boy, Chad?”
Livie made a face. “Course I am.”
“Are you all by yourself?”
“Yes. Sissy’s mad at me. She says Mama’s always making her take care of me on accounta my legs don’t work right. She says Mama always pays ’tention to me and never to her ’cause I’m a cripple.” Bern made out a definite southern twang, though he couldn’t identify the specific region. “It’s always you, you, you,” the little boy in Livie mimicked the older sister. “So she said I should just sit on the dock here,” Livie went on, “and not bother her no more for an hour. She’s over by the big willow playing and pretending she don’t see me. I don’t care. I like it here better.”
“How old is Sissy?”
“She’s eight, and she hates me because Mama loves me better. But Hadden’ll come by to play soon. He likes me even if Sissy don’t.”
“Is Hadden your brother?”
“No, he’s my friend,” Livie said, her brow creasing in frustration. “And he likes me lots better than he likes Sissy, because she’s just a big old ugly girl.”
“How old is Hadden?”
Livie made a face as if she had to think hard, then suddenly smiled brightly. “He’s eight like Sissy.”
“Okay, so you’re playing in the water. What do you mean your legs don’t work right, Chad?”
“I can’t walk. My legs don’t hold me up good. Sissy says they should have drowned me when I was borned, just like the damaged kitties Grandpa made her drown last summer. Then she wouldn’t have to take care of me.”
Twisted By Love, Reincarnation Tales, Book 1 Page 13
